Prince Charles denies allegations

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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3249031.stm

i really love this story. denying stories without saying what they are = fantastic. is any newspaper actually going to publish them?! it's not even like with the footballer rape case where they were threatening to sue anyone who posted them on the internet, they're all over usenet for example...

― toby (tsg20), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Prince Charles denies allegations

Well, he would, wouldn't he.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude... that's so like him...

― ModJ (ModJ), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! I've heard about this, actually, if it's what I think it is. Could be QUITE a scandal, though no surprise to the smart people of ILX.

Once more with feeling...

CHUCK. TATUM. TO. THREAD!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Just finished rereading Catch 22 as I saw this story somewhere else on the internet. Perfect.

Did anyone see Channel 4 news (UK) last night, where their republican (UK) colours were nailed firmly to the mast by saying that, although they weren't allowed to mention the allegations, websites such as www.republic.org.uk were doing so freely...

Cue me and thousands of others looking to see exactly what it was we weren't meant to know.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't this the thing about him allegedly buggering a courtier? I mean, so what? Isn't that what he's expected to do? If I had servants, I'd probably bugger them as well. Why bother being in a position of power and having subordinates if you can't abuse them?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

The Mail on Sunday was blocked on Saturday night from publishing a story about the former aide to Prince Charles, Michael Fawcett.

The Guardian told the court it had no intention of repeating the allegations, but had a right to name Mr Fawcett.

Shades of Kobe to thread. Amazing when you can claim a right to name the accuser when (in this case) you can't actually say what the accusation is....not that I like Mr. Big Ears.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:12 (twenty-two years ago)

This article needs to be made into an opera.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

With Master Perry in the bass tenor role

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

As long as I'm noth the fucking servant.

(Do you SEE???)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I am NOT responsible for the hellacious wanking that will result from my subsequent post. The perceived perviness is absolutely untrue.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Too friggin clearly, mate! Fight the stereotype!

(xpost)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I will say no further. My lawyers have supplied tissues and spermicidals for completely different purposes, none of which is to be discussed here. Right, then.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Your search - hellacious wanking - did not match any documents.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Read that as "Hilararious Wanking". Dammit, tis much too early for my brain to melt.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:39 (twenty-two years ago)

google.co.au?

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

from pop bitch:

Poor Prince Charles. That ghastly butler is
going around telling tales, and everyone says
that Burrell has other stories that will bring
down the Monarchy.

Surely they can't be referring to Charles
getting "happy finish" massages from his
valet? Charles is a product of Britain's
boarding school system, so it's only natural
that from time to time he'd ask the servants
to apply some spit and polish to his
crown jewels.

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 7 November 2003 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Having been to a British boys' boarding school, may I just say that the rumours are all true, as are the allegations, whatever they may be.

― Momus (Momus), Friday, 7 November 2003 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus as an old boy did you get a blow job from another old boy ?

― anthony easton (anthony), Friday, 7 November 2003 01:18 (twenty-two years ago)

The Royal Fellatial Order has no comment in regards to Prince Charles's latest statements to the public. Commentators from major media sources continue remain on their knees hanging on for more revelations as they come.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 7 November 2003 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I misread this as "Prince Charles denies your allegations"

where "allegations" = "man bits" and "denies" = "vigorously frottages"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 7 November 2003 01:25 (twenty-two years ago)

vicar!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 7 November 2003 01:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wonder what state of mind you should be in to blow Pince Charles. Willingly or not.

― Miggie (Miggie), Friday, 7 November 2003 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I just wonder what state of mind you should be in to blow Prince Charles. Willingly or not.
Look, he played me a Rufus Wainwright album, I got carried away, I didn't know what I was doing. Christ, give me a break.

― Michael Fawcett (retort pouch), Friday, 7 November 2003 04:23 (twenty-two years ago)

According to the Indie this morning, Fawcett's job was to "squeeze the royal toothpaste". I think they liked the barely-hidden innuendo so much they repeated it four times on the first two pages.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

You know, I know I'm a Royalist and all, so I'm probably not the best person to comment on this, but FOR FUCKS SAKE LEAVE THEM ALONE!!! At this point, I am actually starting to feel sorry for Prince Charles, even though he's a loathesome lizard who should abdicate in favour of his son the moment Elizabeth II pops it.

It has nothing to do with them being Royal or anything like that, but just enough schadenfreunde (fuck, I can't even spell it) it just makes me cross. Leave them the fuck alone.

What bothers me more? The 60p a year or whatever that comes out of our taxes to pay for the Royals and their toothpaste-squeezing, or the £1.3 billion and counting that's been spent on the Iraqi War? Have a sense of fucking perspective. Yeah, I know that's rich coming from me, but still.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Keep the soap going you know.

And anyway, who hasn't had a blowie off the help -- sometimes I can barely lift a finger and it's good to know they're there.

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Having a wank not because you feel horny but because why else would you be paying him: classic or dud?

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"The 60p a year or whatever that comes out of our taxes to pay for the Royals and their toothpaste-squeezing, or the £1.3 billion and counting that's been spent on the Iraqi War?"

Of course, you realise this doesn't make sense...

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Just think what you could do with the 1.3bn they take out yr salary Jim!

― Enrique (Enrique), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I know that I'm comparing apples to oranges in terms of statistical content. But still, the amount of tax money spent on the Royal Family is paltry compared to the amount being spent on the war. I know which one I would rather pay for.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The injunction against identifying Michael Fawcett was lifted because the judge thought it unfair that a courtier seemed to be getting preferential treatment from the law (and the Guardian account of the first judge who said yes to shielding Fawcett is hysterical). I have a lovely funny for when Ed comes back as need host for image.

Kate, the problem with giving money to the Royal Family from the taxpayers' purse is that THEY ALREADY HAVE BILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 7 November 2003 10:26 (twenty-two years ago)

SO DO THE FREAKING ARMS INDUSTRY!!! RICHEST INDUSTRY IN THE WORLD!!!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Friday, 7 November 2003 10:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"Prince Charles denies allegations that he has any royal toothpaste left to squeeze."

― Skottie, Friday, 7 November 2003 10:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Makes you think of "royal jelly" in a new way.
http://users.mcsi.net/carlene/bumblebee.jpg

― Skottie, Friday, 7 November 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

CNN has now made a world exclusive of its complete zilch of details regarding the allegations of this very scandalous thing that is obviously so scandalous that it need not be described! This must SUCK so much for Charles that the story might COME and BLOW it all for him.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 7 November 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Arms Industry denies allegations of having legion of bulters suck off 1.3 billion dollar nuclear warhead.

― Al_Ewing, Friday, 7 November 2003 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

2003 will be the windsors' anus horribulus

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

This all must be a large frustrating bone for the press to swallow.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

oh i'm sure that the (non-UK) press will suck all the marrow outta this bone.

the british press, though, are following NWA's sage advise -- "just don't bite it!"

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 07:13 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently the ny times had the full story online for twenty minutes then they blinked (drudge has it now)

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 08:20 (twenty-two years ago)

it's on drudge = everyone else has realised it's untrue (whatever it is)

― mark s (mark s), Saturday, 8 November 2003 09:13 (twenty-two years ago)

mark s = otm (w/r/t drudge)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 8 November 2003 09:43 (twenty-two years ago)

As toby said, it's weird because these Fawcett-Charles allegations have been on the internet for at least a year (see here for example. But I guess there's all sorts of crap on usenet so no one pays much attention till the press decide to umm and ahh the story out.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 8 November 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

so is this fawcett guy hot?

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 20:18 (twenty-two years ago)

something like this actually happened in my high school freshman year. the principal brought all the kids into an assembly to say that THE RUMOURS ARE FALSE. Eventually we found out a fight between a white and black kid had been mistaken for a big race war or something, but at the assembly the guy would just say that whatever the rumor was, it's not true. It was a pretty rockin' day.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 8 November 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

so how large is the old boy anyway?

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course, this whole "we can't say what it is, but it isn't true" bit leads to two things:

1. Everying imagining that "it" is something far more horrible and disgusting than it really is, involving babies and the Illuminati and 7-foot lizards etc;

2. Being SURE that it's TRUE.

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38948000/jpg/_38948823_fawcett203.jpg

He looks like a really bad racehorse trainer.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, I don't think I'd stick my dick in that

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

nor would i want to put in my ballz in it, either.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:41 (twenty-two years ago)

is it ribald of me to suggest that Charles and Fawcett seem like they would make a great couple? I mean, all of this being FANTASY obviously and VERY MUCH not reality... 100% for sure.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"ribald"

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm picturing donut bitch as jon lovitz right now

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Love Calculator results
These are the results of the calculations by Dr. Love:
charles windsor michael fawcett

93 %

Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between charles windsor and michael fawcett has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

"oooooooooooooo ...someone's been NAUGHTY! Let's WATCH!"

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

for some reason I'm more interested in the paris hilton sextape right now

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

and I HATE paris hilton

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, Lovitz and I have the same alma mater, cinnibizatch. don't wear it out.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:48 (twenty-two years ago)

jon lovitz went to wellesley?

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

ok, slightly more serious.. i do think the Prince and Fawcett looks like a great couple! seriously! I can just see them having dinner in a cornerstop cafe right now talking about house payments and who will they hire to watch the dog while they escape for a four-day cabin cruise.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Lovitz went to UC Irvine.

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

from today's IMdB:

The parents of hotel heiress Paris Hilton are threatening legal action against anyone who helps make an amateur porn tape of their daughter public. Hilton's mum and dad are vowing to "vigorously" prosecute the "criminal" responsible for the footage shot three years ago, featuring a 19-year-old Paris and her then older boyfriend - Shannen Doherty's husband Rick Solomon. According to gossip website Page Six.Com, an anonymous mole has given copies of the video to various media outlets in an attempt to make money. A statement by Hilton's fuming parents reads, "The Hilton family is greatly saddened at how low human beings will stoop to exploit their daughter Paris, who is sweet-natured, for their own self-promotion as well as profit motives. Paris is working very hard on her career. The release of a private tape between a younger girl and her older boyfriend is more than upsetting. Anyone in any way involved in this video is guilty of criminal activity, and will be vigorously prosecuted."

i take it that this means the tape is on Kazaa already... oh noes! sweet-natured coke-vacuum porn!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

haha - 'porn' is the number one on my 'things that could tempt me to check out kazaa' list

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

charlie and fawcett (twas fate - do you see?) do have that jack sprat thing going on

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

what's british for "squeal like a pig"?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

'allo allo allo'

― cinniblount (James Blount), Saturday, 8 November 2003 22:21 (twenty-two years ago)

AND the tortured prose award goes to.....19-year-old Paris and her then older boyfriend - Shannen Doherty's husband Rick Solomon

He was older then. Now she's older, and he's still the same--won't you welcome, Mr. Shannon Doherty.

― Skottie, Saturday, 8 November 2003 22:45 (twenty-two years ago)

No other member of the species homo sapiens sapiens has ever had eyes this close together. Word. http://www.kurier.at/netautor/napro4/wrapper/jpegs.php?filename=archive%3D%2F09.11.2003%2F1068378819_3.jpg

― Skottie, Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

explanation:

http://www.b4ta.com/images/lizard-queen.jpg

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark S., are you aware that that was post no. 69?
;^}

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:07 (twenty-two years ago)

haha i'm so laffing at paris hilton now hahaha

― Vic (Vic), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"...if these lips could talk..."

― Skottie, Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:14 (twenty-two years ago)

the truth drudge dare not touch

― mark s (mark s), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Yup, that's exactly what I'd been thinking too.

― Skottie, Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Whoever controls Diana, also controls Elton John and Gianni Versace. Think about it.

― Skottie, Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:28 (twenty-two years ago)

oh yeah, and they also control the Spice. so therefore they control the Universe.

Two main factions vied for control over her: (1) the New World Order faction, founded on an alliance between King William III (Bank of England, modern system of finance, and "national debt" all beginning during his reign) and later, the Rothschilds, and (2) the true nobility of Europe.

However, factional infighting later caused the New World Order to split into two leagues--one headed by Sir Terry of Boulder(known for their black crests), the other by Prince Kevin of Nashampshire(sporting red colours).

Things went downhill from there.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, they control Ginger, Baby, and Scary, but Becks controls Posh now. Or vice versa.

― Skottie, Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm glad to see that even BBC News is using smutty captions (second picture down).

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fawcett became Charles' most trusted marital aide"

― Skottie, Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"Michael Fawcett left the Prince's staff in March"

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:44 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 9 November 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I assume the "royal toothpaste" bit above is meant tongue in cheek-ly (if you will, and apparently, some will). The following line from CNN.com is another one, though, and it's not ironic, I think. As he arrived back at London's Heathrow airport, the prince ignored waiting journalists and photographers and was whisked away in a royal car. A royal car? What is that? Deep blue? There was a crooked man who lived in a crooked house, etc. The royal prince used royal toothpaste and rides in a royal car to his royal appointments where he royally ignores everyone. This assigning a status of royalty (which of course, is the essence of monarchy) to inanimate objects is appaling. Stranger than having a Queen or a King, or royal people, having royal appurtenances is fucking weird. Or is it just me? I'm actually serious. Although, the mitigating factor, (this is for you, Tuomas) is that Prince Charles is very thin, therefore, worthwhile in a cosmic sense. Not really, lighten up, okay?!~ But what is it with royal objects?

― Skottie, Monday, 10 November 2003 17:05 (twenty-two years ago)

The best, best, best TRUE QUOTE: from Camilla, defending the Prince: "He would never stoop so low."

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Thursday, 13 November 2003 02:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Speaking of which, does anybody know which toothpaste the royals use?

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Thursday, 13 November 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Vaseline.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 13 November 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

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