I think I'm still in love with my Ex-Girlfriend

(xpost ffs)

to some extent one never gets over old loves. This is life.

i preferred it when bum touching was life

I'm going to say something here that's very unpopular and will be hissed at, but I believe it is the truth. It doesn't really have to do with your specific situation, since I don't know if you really did love this girl or if you're just nursing an attachment - but it can be applied to what you wrote about...only you can judge for yourself where you were, or are, emotionally. Not strangers on the internet.

If you realy fall in "love" with someone - and by this I mean the you could fucking give your life to save theirs level of emotion - then no matter what the outcome is of the relationship, you will always continue to feel at least something for them...which is why the adage is true, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Yes, I am indeed saying what most will scream as being a fallacy, but once you fall in love deeply, you don't just "fall out" of it or "get over" it - or else it's not "love" - it was maybe developing into that, but not quite the real thing, which is why it's always been described as being so rare and elusive, and "only coming once" each lifetime (which IS a fallacy, btw). I guess if I were to make an analogy of it to ilx discussions of pop music, my point of view re: love would be rockist...lovist? Very strict definition...and it really sounds like I'm simplying the most emotionally complex matter concerning human beings, especially when you factor in the "but what if the person i loved *changed*...and so did my feelings?" counterpoint, which I have to make some sort of genuine exception for. But otherwise, speaking in a broad generalization, I think my opinion is true..

So, knowing this, you don't have to tear yourself up over the fact that you've never "gotten over" this person - because if you did, you wouldn't have loved her. This of course does not mean that you should now attempt to be with her again, if you don't feel it's right. You have to face your current emotional reality, as well as accepting the reality that a part you will always love this person...but that perhaps (? - I cannot really answer this for you, only you can) you cannot be with them, and are better off without them. It is of course the hardest thing you might ever do, but at some point, you'll accept it, but not until you realize that one day you can and will be able to love someone else as much as you loved that person...not in the same way of course, because you never love two people in the same way twice, but with as much intensity, yes, yes you can.

Trust me. You must look forward now and realize that what you felt in the past won't go away because it was real, because it lives inside you, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't look ahead. You must, and believe that something greater awaits you in the future...and that'll be the truth then, if that's what you want to make of it. Your life is in your hands, don't worry if *all* of your heart isn't - and don't ever listen to those that says that love doesn't last forever =)

Vic said it better, while I looked like I was being dismissive.

(x-post)

And logged off, although it sounds silly, you never *ever* get over people you've really loved. That's the beauty and the tragedy of it. I guess the only thing I can tell you is to try to be honest with yourself in order to move on (or back), because that's the only way the memories will stop tormenting you.

Though if you have a new girlfriend who hasn't "replaced" whatever you had for your ex, then I wouldn't put too many eggs in that basket either.

You need time and distance. Also grow up.

I'm also not capable of being in 'love' with more than one person at a time. So that seems odd. Also Pinkpanther basically OTM.

Of course I am a heartless cow and have never been in love and also I eat children, so feel free to dismiss what I say!!

Nick OTM

No, they just listen too much. We should all go deaf.

(Any attempt by me to come up with something serious to say would already have been said.)

2. All generalisations are always wrong (yes yes, paradoxes to thread, get over it). I think what Vic says is very often the case but not always. I was with one woman for 23 years and loved her more deeply than I can possibly express, but I no longer have remotely strong feelings for her, only for the memories of the good times together.

3. You are romanticising excitement and memories and fantasies over what you have. What this says about your current relationship I don't know, but I think it hints at some concerns. Forget about the old one, move on, give the current one your best shot and look at it as honestly as you can.

Why? Do you feel bad for 'logged off' or for his current gf?
This is so much better than my own situation that I am JEALOUS of logged off. Really. Lucky bastard.