Places To Put Your Penis

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Ok, is this the worst thread topic idea ever or what?

(it's not mine incidentally - I have been coerced and I've had two rum n' cokes)

― Kim (Kim), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:02 (twenty-one years ago)

1. catcher's mitt
2. wine glass
3. cardboard paper towel tube
4. on the table
5. in your pants
6. in somebody else's pants

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:03 (twenty-one years ago)

7. Tube sock

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:04 (twenty-one years ago)

8. condom
9. next to a ruler
10. pickle jar

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:05 (twenty-one years ago)

up your own ass

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

11. up Sam's ass

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

In Matos's mouth

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:08 (twenty-one years ago)

but not in that order

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

you know, unless you dig that kind of thing

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:09 (twenty-one years ago)

tits

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:14 (twenty-one years ago)

14. In a bag with other penises.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:15 (twenty-one years ago)

15. In the left pocket of an old fake fur coat you bought at a Salvation Army thrift store.

― Bryan (Bryan), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

hot dog bun
mantle
dashboard
confessional

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm drunk

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

in a jar on a high shelf, out of direct sunlight

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

in the air, and wave it like you just don't care

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:32 (twenty-one years ago)

in the basket under the sink

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

16. Through a chain link fence
17. jar of peanut butter
18. Car exhaust pipe
19. pocket pussy
20. pencil sharpener
21. Slammed in a safe
22. bundle of roses
23. tied to a pickup truck bumper
24. Inside a happy clown puppet

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

25. Trout
26. Bass
27. Salmon
28. Muskie
29. Cod
30. Halibut
31. Tuna

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 8 November 2003 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

[I love you too, Sam ;-)]

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

GLORYHOLES TO THREAD

― Vic (Vic), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:18 (twenty-one years ago)

in a wheelbarrow
nailed to a tree
on top of yer cd of kiss alive!
in a tea mug with half-and-half and sugar
in a wrigley's chewing gum pack
on a conveyer belt
on a key chain, next to a rabbit's foot
in the dashboard

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

in a hobo sack (a bandana tied to the end of a stick)

― NA (Nick A.), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:35 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread unnervingly reminds me of the old jingle for "Steak-Um's" snack meat:

You can Steak'um in the North
You Can Steak'um in the South
But the best place of all...
..is when you Steak'um in your Mouth!

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:55 (twenty-one years ago)

slather it with cheez-whiz and fried onions, then stick it on a hard roll

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 04:58 (twenty-one years ago)

in smoked salmon

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:06 (twenty-one years ago)

high upon a pedestal. so high that it could almost see eternity. you needed me. you needed me.

― Aaron A., Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:13 (twenty-one years ago)

in a box marked "ancient relic"

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:15 (twenty-one years ago)

it's the new undisputed king of canadian comedy

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

on the new york stock exchange

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:33 (twenty-one years ago)

... which would give new meaning to the terms "buy short," "p/e ratio," "place," "put," "par value," "preferred shares," and "day trading."

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

32. the bosses' coffee
33. belt sander
34. The Queen of England
35. on a fine silver platter drizzled with Hollandaise and garnished with parsley sprig
36. altar boys

― sucka (sucka), Saturday, 8 November 2003 05:39 (twenty-one years ago)

37. in its place, the saucy little thing

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

with the fondue kit

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:09 (twenty-one years ago)

38. Hazmat containment unit
39. Cleveland, Ohio
40. Grover Cleveland
41. Grover Cleveland Alexander
42. Grover
43. Super-Grover
44. Grover when he's being the Annoying Waiter
45. anyone who objects to all these mentions of Grover
46. copies of the Norton Anthology of Modern Fiction

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:11 (twenty-one years ago)

sorry mr. eisbar I am drunk and didn't count right. we're on 48 now:

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

49. on turbodrive

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

50. In a specimen jar.
51. In the refrigerator.
52. In a specimen jar in the refrigerator.
53. In a pair of silk charmeuse boxers.
54. On a blanket on a Lower East Side sidewalk.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

55. turntable (kitties only)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:14 (twenty-one years ago)

56. kitties (turntable only)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Saturday, 8 November 2003 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!"

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 8 November 2003 07:18 (twenty-one years ago)

58. on the back burner

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Saturday, 8 November 2003 08:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Haikunym, you just reminded me of some weird Sesame Street porn story that someone e-mailed me years ago, thanks a lot!!!

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 8 November 2003 09:44 (twenty-one years ago)

59; Jar of Nutella.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 8 November 2003 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

KING MISSILE TO THREAD!

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 8 November 2003 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

im drunk nest thread eber

― Pablo Cruise (chaki), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, and Kim, I'm shocked.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:25 (twenty-one years ago)

60. In the drunk nest

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

into members of royalty?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

62. Oh, y'know, over there.

― Matt (Matt), Saturday, 8 November 2003 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 116 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

156. A flea collar

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 13 September 2004 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

157. in the take a penny, leave a penis tray

― oops (Oops), Monday, 13 September 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

158. in the overhead compartment with your other carry-ons

― oops (Oops), Monday, 13 September 2004 09:05 (twenty-one years ago)

ahh my legacy...
-- Kim (grimstitc...), September 11th, 2004 6:48 PM. (later)

159. between my legacies

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 September 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

160. where your mouth is

― ken c (ken c), Monday, 13 September 2004 10:47 (twenty-one years ago)

161. in the deep dark belly-button of the fat kid who made fun of you all those years growing up

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 13 September 2004 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

162. in the air intake cone on very large speakers

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 13 September 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

163. up for auction

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 13 September 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

in sweden (neutral)

164. ITYM Switzerland.

― j.lu (j.lu), Monday, 13 September 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

165. Portsmouth.

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:14 (twenty-one years ago)

(Apparently)

― B.A.R.M.S. (Barima), Monday, 13 September 2004 13:15 (twenty-one years ago)

four months pass...

REVIVE

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:23 (twenty years ago)

166.

http://www.salvationarmy-usaeast.org/goodnews/issues/2003_4/6b.jpg

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:25 (twenty years ago)

you want to put your penis in *there*??!!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

Hahah are you watching what I'm watching? =) xpost

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:30 (twenty years ago)

you want to put your penis in *there*??!!

Only if it shuts him the fuck up.

Trayce: No, I didn't know he was on actually.

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:32 (twenty years ago)

167. in a vadge horror story

― gem (trisk), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:36 (twenty years ago)

I would have bet money this was a Ned revival. My prognosticator is completely broken.

― Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:39 (twenty years ago)

Even Homer nodded.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 January 2005 01:54 (twenty years ago)

www.ebay.co.uk

― elwisty, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:28 (twenty years ago)

168. A cyclops' one good eye

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:31 (twenty years ago)

169. Johnny Carson

― TEH JOHN DAHELEMEME (deangulberry), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:34 (twenty years ago)

On the front of the NME

― elwisty, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:40 (twenty years ago)

171. On the drumstool

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:42 (twenty years ago)

172.On the drummer's stool

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:43 (twenty years ago)

173. http://krant.telegraaf.nl/krant/actueel/oscars/fotos/oscars.1starwars_robots.jpg

― hstencil (hstencil), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:44 (twenty years ago)

174. On the drummer's tool

― Bumfluff, Monday, 24 January 2005 02:44 (twenty years ago)

175. in the Social Security lockbox

― milozauckerman (miloaukerman), Monday, 24 January 2005 02:45 (twenty years ago)

176. In the drummer's stool.

― Remy (x Jeremy), Monday, 24 January 2005 03:01 (twenty years ago)

177. beneath a wire hanger

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

178. underneath your a shoes

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

180. on the telly

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:31 (twenty years ago)

181. in the dirty clothes basket

― gem (trisk), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:40 (twenty years ago)

182. Hills Hoist

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

attached to the wind-up handle?

― gem (trisk), Monday, 24 January 2005 04:42 (twenty years ago)

183. In the junk drawer

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 24 January 2005 05:50 (twenty years ago)

184.Into high society

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:04 (twenty years ago)

185. Into the WRONG HANDS.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

from savage love this week...

To engage in "femoral intercourse," you will need one person's dick and another person's thighs. Place dick between thighs, press thighs together, and hump away until thighs are a sticky mess. Some other names for femoral intercourse: college-style, dry humping, "English method," and my favorite, "The Weekly Standard."

― peter smith (plsmith), Monday, 24 January 2005 16:40 (twenty years ago)

186. Evening Standard

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 25 January 2005 12:44 (twenty years ago)

three years pass...

187. On a necktie

http://13gb.com/media/images/penis_tie.jpg

― stephen, Saturday, 14 June 2008 05:26 (seventeen years ago)

ILX Gays: ♪♫ Meennnn ♪♫

― Eric H., Saturday, 14 June 2008 05:35 (seventeen years ago)

188. wallogina

― Autumn Almanac, Saturday, 14 June 2008 08:39 (seventeen years ago)

(not that I am encouraging this)