Now is your chance, Canada & Mexico!

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apparently the US military is so heavily deployed in Iraq and Afghanistan that there is only one division left in the continental United States.

Surely now is the time for Canada and Mexico to launch a surprise attack! the USA is ripe for dismemberment and partition.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

All of our guys are over in Afghanistan getting killed right now. Mexico can have you.

― Bryan (Bryan), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

They can bring it. Ive had 80 rounds of ammo training, i dare them to strike in Odenton, Maryland.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

There is only one division? What the hell are you talking about?

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah DV that's incorrect, I think there are 6 divisions over there? The Army alone has 10 active divisions. Great little story in the NYTimes the other day though about how some of the "Old Guard" has been deployed to Yemen. The Old Guard is an active unit but its duties are usually confined to ceremonial burials in Washington D.C., flying the flags for visiting dignitaries, etc. It's the first time they've been deployed abroad since Vietnam!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I saw Rick Mercer last night and he had a great line about "how come every shitbag radio station can afford new Hummers, but the Canadian Military is still driving around in 25 yr-old Jeeps? Can you imagine if we weren't proud of our peacekeepers?"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Regardless of how many Army divisions are deployed wherever, we do have 3 other branches of service. 5 if you count the Coast Guard.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Even if they actually only had one division, we still couldn't take them. But we have some awfully nice frigates we could pretend to ram their aircraft carriers with before they blew em up.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Hell their "Air National Gaurd" (or whatever they are called) is destructive enough, thats all they need to defend themselves. They could even tell the pilots they are bombing the taliban and most would believe it.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Are their any Mexicans on ILX? Maybe we can negotiate a secret deal to cut out the middleman on this NAFTA business, and then we'll see who's laughing!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

What does Mexico have that we want? Other then disturbing sex shows, Jesus and tequila?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

What else does it need?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

money

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Donkey show. Tijuana is the happiest place on earth.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

There is only one division? What the hell are you talking about?

I heard it in the media.

the navy and air force are all deployed to the asia as well, while the National Guard are all pantywaists. I tell you, the USA is open wider than something that sounds a bit rude if it's open very wide. soon you will be groaning under the iron jack boot of the Mounties and Zapatistas, with the Bible replaced by Tijuana Bibles and everyone's head turned all flappy like in South Park.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Im in the air force, and i dont think im in asia. Some parts of this place seem like Korea, but im pretty sure its not.

All im saying is that the media information is inaccurate...they love to stir fear in the hearts of their viewers. I find it sorta funny though.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

And I just remebered, all our Sea Kings have been ordered to stay on the ground while they try to figure out why two of them crashed.
So I think that leaves us with 10 or 20 planes. I think a couple of them even have guns taped to the side. So barring any more commercial blockades by international shippers we should be able to get out light jeeps back from Asia intime to invade Maine sometime in the early spring.
Phear our army!
Have I mentioned the wonderful and modern electrical wiring on our frigates? Its good work.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

the only people who should fear the technoligical might of the Canadian Military are the people who have to use it.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Im in the air force, and i dont think im in asia. Some parts of this place seem like Korea, but im pretty sure its not.

they sent all the functional units to Asia.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I think there are enough angry militants hiding near the Canadian border that American is safe from invasion from hoseheads. mexico has been taking over the McCollar work force for some time -- soon there will be a revolt and they will rule us all.

― Catty (Catty), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

or maybe they can start building that transAmerican highway I read about in the Onion some time back....

― Catty (Catty), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoseheads?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I say we invade Main and New Hampshire, I kinda like those two states and it would save me from having to drive through Cabano to get to Halifax. Besides we've owned or invaded Maine twice already, its not like anyone would care as long as we gave them tax breaks and jobs at the loval Irving.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Take Vermont while you're at it as well, so my mum and uncle can finally live in the same province.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never been to Vermont but we could invade it while we take back upstate New York.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoseheads.

― Catty (Catty), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, you traded Minneapolis for Toronto. Don't get greedy.

― Catty (Catty), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

NO NO, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE "UPPER NEW YORK STATE" (as my other future husband amusingly calls it) BACK!!!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

HosERS.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey we traded Vancouver for Minnasoter, not Toronto.
Why can't we have Upper New York State back? Don't you want to live in the same country as Sloan anymore? Are you breaking poor little Jay's heart?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, come to think of it... I've been so ashamed of America lately that it would be better to say "Yeah, I'm from Upper New York Province, Canada"

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Maple LeaVES.

― Catty (Catty), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

TIME FOR THE LONG AWAITED MEXI-CANADIAN OVERPASS

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Would could make a tunnel like in Boston. The big burrito-beaver tail tunnel we will call it.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

And just like Boston it will never actually be completed but it will continue to make life hell for people attempting to driving away from any airport.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Canada has developed new combat socks, so I think it is only a matter of time before they invade.

― Nemo (JND), Monday, 10 November 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

time for a bongo solo!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

JD Salmon quells the Canuck insurgency!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

hooray! labatts & back bacon for all!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

bacon can wait, there's a bit of a beef surplus right now.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:27 (twenty-two years ago)

beef bacon for all!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:49 (twenty-two years ago)

& you'll need something to wash that down with...

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:51 (twenty-two years ago)

i come to enforce the consumption of canadian beer

http://www.diyjoe.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/b3ta/images/dyson.jpg

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

labatt! and someone summon Don Cherry to perform for us!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 10 November 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

This will have a ginormous impact on the Mexicanadian hybrid cuisine style.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 10 November 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck Labatt's, thats donkey piss, Molson's Ex or Canadian around. Theres a reason Bob and Doug drank it.
Unless you want to pretend your working class, then switch PBR for Keiths.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i just walked by a guy wearing a black sweatshirt that said "CANADA" in white letters across the front.

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm all for cheap prescription drugs. Welcome, Canada!

― Rush Limbaugh (Leee), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 00:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm an American whose grandparents came from Mexico and I will choose swallowing a whole bottle of arsenic over having to become a Mexican any bloody day of the week.

What does Mexico have that we want? Other then disturbing sex shows, Jesus and tequila?

I don't want the disturbing sex shows, the pagan-inflected "Catholicism", or the tequila. I've seen Mexico offer or heard about Mexico offering strange outdoor markets, mini-kidnappings, a deadly drug trade, corrupt police officers, corrupt government officials, shady backwaters paramilitary forces, a constant state of low-level chaos, bad plumbing, scowling faces, and perhaps the most unsophisticated and least "sexy" language one could possibly know (oh dear God do I wish I wasn't forced to learn Spanish). Oh yeah, and I resent the Mexican part of my family for giving me the facial features that makes me sometimes look like Daughter of Cochise whenever I'm tired or slightly peeved. *growls*

I'm American, damn it. I want to stay that way.

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Wow. Self-hate.

I love Spanish. I love Mexico. I love Canada. I really love pagan-inflected Catholicism and tequila. Oh god, I love those things.

I guess "American" is okay, too... as long as you understand what's going on with the current administration, and are at least against it in principle.

("American" = Canadian, Mexican, Chilean, Colombian, Uruguayan, etc.)

― David A. (Davant), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 07:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Dee, Cochise's daughter was HOTTTT!

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 07:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Dee - you will be cherishing your Mexican heritage when all Americans without Canadian or Mexican ancestors are being herded to the Adjustment Centres.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:20 (twenty-two years ago)

mini-kidnappings, a deadly drug trade, corrupt police officers, corrupt government officials, shady backwaters paramilitary forces, a constant state of low-level chaos, bad plumbing, scowling faces, and perhaps the most unsophisticated and least "sexy" language one could possibly know

[insert "but this sounds just like the USA" joke here]

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I love pagan-inflected Catholicism! I don't love tequila. I love how Mexico is the only place in North America that looks like Europe. I love their foooood.

I don't love the nasty immigrants who sneak over the border and marry lonely senior citizens and then steal their life savings.

And I think mini-kidnappings is misleading -- mass graves uncovered in the Juarez desert is not the result of a mini-kidnapping.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:14 (twenty-two years ago)

What about Quebec or Halifax? Having a wall around your city not look like Europe? And Halifax like much of Europe had its face blown off in recent times.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Halifax is filled with Sloan. Sloooooo-ooooooooan. That makes it quintessentially Canadian and therefore NOT European.

You may have a point about Quebec -- after all, they do speak French.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 14:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Well what they call French.
And you know as well as I do that Sloan moved to Toronto almost 10 years ago. All thats left is celtic communal arkestrs and crappy punk bands just like the provinces old and out of date version. [not actually true]

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 14:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh dear. Well, the celtic communal arkestras are just wannabe european. crappy punk bands are sadly universal.
No europe for you! *slap*

Does this mean Sloan are American now? What with the whole Toronto/Minneapolis trade and all.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

But isn't that Scotland's music scene as well?

WE DIDN'T TRADE Toronto!!!!!!
Vancouver, the one Canadian city that doesn't get snow. You do this to mock me don't you?

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, you see Stephen and Jane negotiated the Toronto tradeoff, cause, well, they like Vancouver and all.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

By Vancouver, I mean, basically, all of British California.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, dude. Toronto is ours now. Muwhahahahaha. Even Charlotte Church knows.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the Mexicanadians will leave a small American rump unoccupied. Who will they install as leader of this Vichy USA?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

What? traitors! Just cause they can wear sandals 12 monthes of the year doesn't mean they can option out the center of the universe to the states. This demands a pounding of the Canucks at the hands of the Leafs, the Argos over Lions and the Raptors over... oh wait Vancouver couldn't support their basketball team.

I say the Mexicanadiales install Cheech and Chong as leaders. One Born In East LA which should probably be cool with our counterparts and the other a Canadian with past experience in our armed forces.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

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