Contemplating suicide because you've made an enormous error at work -- Classic or Dud

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I mean literally, really upsetting your girlfriend by saying you want to throw yourself of the balcony on which you are both standing while perfectly aware her job is no picnic either -- c/d?

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

What error did you make, and can it be rectified??

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, dud?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't imagine making an error so bad that it would make me want to literally kill myself. You know, a job's just not that important. I mean, maybe if the mistake were so terrible that it could lead to criminal prosecution, or to other people being killed through my carelessness (I mean, I'd have tried to kill myself if I were captain of the Exxon Valdez or something) ... other than that, I just can't see it. I mean, what's the worst than can happen? You'll get a reprimand. Or you'll be sacked. And there's *always* other jobs, you know?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

if your released ebola into the environment, classic.

if not, dud.

― goato mountington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I have this desperate fear that I'm going to be killed someday rushing to get to work on time. That would just be the biggest rip off, to die for my shitty job.
Think about it, NO job (even your dream job) is worth DYING over. Cuz all they'll do is find someone they can pay less to fill your spot.
Don't DIE for your job. Jobs suck.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a job, if it's getting you to this point you have to leave.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, the worst it can get is you don't get severance, or you go to jail. But generally you have to purposely fuck up to get that option.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

What error did you make, and can it be rectified??

Probably too complicated to explain, with Henry James-style qualifying clauses etc, and anyway my head is rushing for self-justifying stuff. But anyway, I wuv u guys, play 'Gravel Pit' at my funeral (they don't know, yet, so...)

Fuck this shit!

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

pls dont joke, this really isnt funny.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 10 November 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, it's my only way through -- I know I won't BUT this is very much an end-of 'Sweet Sixteen'/'Fight Club' feeling, I'm sorry, maybe I shd delete this thread -- how do I do that?

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

If you have made a serious error and they haven't found out about it yet, wouldn't it be a good idea to go to yr boss and tell him about it - you know, get your version in first. I know that takes a bit of bravery, but it might work in your favour ultimately.

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Nah, no dice for multiple reasons -- 1) being I've only been here 6 weeks. Oh, really sorry about this thread, it wd more or less involve me describing the entire trajectory of my last 2 years, ermmmmm, bugger. No, this is maybe more of a 'driving dad's ferrari through elevated garage window' bits... erm, no, it's sorta worse... but also quite absurd. In an existentialist sense.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:06 (twenty-two years ago)

This enormous error you have made ........ has it involved anyone elose getting hurt?

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

'else'

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

and remember, it's only work

― chris (chris), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Will it hurt anyone?

Oh absolutely not! It's fucken minor in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps two people will be miffed by this. No, I can't imagine it affecting anything in the slightest, anything that matters. Not even money. I possibly have problems with 'the working world': I was sooooo much happier temping. Hmm, wasn't k-happy when I rocked up this morning (well, any morning since about 1998) but didn't expect to drop this. Apologies all round.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

this is maybe more of a 'driving dad's ferrari through elevated
garage window' bits... erm, no, it's sorta worse... but also quite absurd. In an existentialist sense.

You didn't go back in time and have sex with your grandmother, impregnating her with your father, thus becoming your own grandpa, did you?
That's pretty bad, especially if it fucks up your job. But still not worth dying over.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Cd that happen? it wd explain a lot.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

(it happened on Futurama)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, well then.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

well you know what they say if it's worth complaining about on a message board then it's worth killing yourself over!

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I like to share y'know!!

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

try and cover up the problem! then you'll be grand.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:20 (twenty-two years ago)

if there's anybody newer than you in the building (even if it's not your dept.) blame it on them.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Ow, really wish I hadn't done this thread, it looks incredibly insincere, but -- what can I say? -- it isn't, but I totally recognize that it's inappropriate and stuff. Basically I am a dick, yes.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't worry, Enrique, wrong is the new right!

― Momus (Momus), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Do you have any temps working there? Blame them!! (it's what temps are for, after all)

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Oi! Watchit! I'm a temp!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

(then you know that that's what they're for)

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, I thought I was just here to drink coffee and play on the internet.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Kill yourself before blaming us temps!

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 10 November 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I love temps, they are all faultless and they shd certainly KORITFW cos they are Outlaws, they have not been Incorporated, Bought Out, by THEM. Yay fer temps!

Did you write that Momus?

It's nice. I wish I cd say what I had done. A kind of analogy wd be someone who did notation for an avant garde musician completely fucking it up, so that the disruption of the codes of conventional western music were... completely disrupted.

It's a postmodern error, so logically I shd hate it, but it's actually quite cool in that sense.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

How much did you nick out of the petty cash box then?

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 10 November 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

are you related to George, Marcello?
I ask only because George is calling me in an hour.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, don't get me started, they are nicking from me daily!! But I need those gripes to justify time spent on ilx. Double-bind!

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

No relation to the great George, sadly.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 10 November 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

What about blokey from 'Scum' then?

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Peter Reid made a bit of a fuck up at work the other day. He tried to blame Seth Johnson saying it was an existential mistake. Seth Johnson got confused.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I really want to know what the error was now.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I got much fucking grief from that (i.e. Scum) in my schooldays. And no one ever said I was the daddy now, except on prizegiving day.

― Marcello Carlin, Monday, 10 November 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

that's cos you never did the pool balls in the sock trick, they'd have respected (ok, feared) you then

― chris (chris), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:46 (twenty-two years ago)

A kind of analogy wd be someone who did notation for an avant garde musician completely fucking it up, so that the disruption of the codes of conventional western music were... completely disrupted.

With just such mistakes did Sir Alexander Fleming invent penicillin and Wassily Kandinsky abstract art! You deserve promotion and possibly even the Nobel Prize.

― Momus (Momus), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I would like to apologise to temps everywhere for my earlier thoughtless comment. I was over-reacting, having been treated shabbily in the days when I used to temp.

Blame the boy who delivers in the internal post instead.

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Blame the computers! That's what they're for! Repeat after me: "I'm sorry, the server ate it!"

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus: wonderful, wonderful -- the story literally involves Noam Chomsky (oooh, namedrop) and, okay -- if I ever do a FAP, I'll explain. At which point you'll say 'what's the big deal, ponce-boy?' But from where I'm sitting, it's as if I'd assinated the wrong archduke.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

THere was a *right* Archduke to assasinate?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

assinated? or assassinated?

If you have 'assinated' someone at work, then it's no wonder they're upset.....

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair point! I fucked up double!

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 16:57 (twenty-two years ago)

What is this wonderful job where you get paid to assinate?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, you beat it out of me, I'm the Lone White Guy in hip hop vids.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Fair point! I fucked up double!

You're Prince Charles really, aren't you?

― C J (C J), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Enrique - try and get some perspective on this... it's only a fucking job, after all. I speak as one who knows the kind of pain errormakers go through.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I shd go back to temping, it's the best. Money ain't shit.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 10 November 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

I still want to know what Enrique's post-modern error was

― LOL Thomas (Chris Barrus), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 23:27 (nineteen years ago)

whatever became of Pink Panther

― Thomas Tallis (Tommy), Tuesday, 23 May 2006 23:53 (nineteen years ago)

is that a hint? did he kill the pink panther?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 00:04 (nineteen years ago)

And can we eat them?

xpost

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 00:05 (nineteen years ago)

Pink Panther should be having a baby... RIGHT ABOUT ANY DAY NOW!!!

― The Minimal Criminal (kate), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

god i can't even remember!

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 10:49 (nineteen years ago)

So it's safe to assume it wasn't worth dying over, then.

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 10:55 (nineteen years ago)

couldn't say.

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 10:56 (nineteen years ago)

http://bbimages.digitalspy.co.uk/bb7/library/200x150_bb7_hms_shahbaz01.jpg

Enrique, 2003

― Enrique IX: The Mediator (Enrique), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 11:00 (nineteen years ago)

I am in an odd situation at work where nothing has gone so horribly wrong that I am terrified someone will find out what a wastrel I am and ask me to do the decent thing.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Wednesday, 24 May 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

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