How protective were your parents?

Is your twin brother a boy or a girl?

Boy. Non identical.

Me = stupid

Graham, I sympathise.

We were banned from watching the A-Team and the Dukes of Hazzard because they encouraged bad driving and the attitude that crashing a car doesn't matter because you will walk away without a scratch. Witness my sister's driving skillz and you will understand exactly how much effect this had on her (I am an OK driver, not that I drive any more). Eastenders was also banned until about 1988, as was the AIDS awareness night that all my friends were talking about the next day (they showed condoms, snigger, snigger). And Terry & June was out of bounds because it was "rubbish".

Furthermore, I had a curfew of 6pm, even at weekends, until I was 16. The first time I went to a nightclub, the delightful Bojanglez in Guildford, I had to be home by midnight. By chipping away, I gradually increased this to 2am. I had to leave home (in fact, I left the country) before I could stay at a club until the lights went out. AND ON TOP OF THAT, until I finally left home forevah at the age of 22, I had to tell Mum and Dad where I was going, what time I was getting home, who was bringing me home and they would set their alarm for curfew time to wake them up so they could hear I'd got home. This is why I only managed to live with them for six months after graduating before coming to London.

Frankly, I'm amazed I didn't turn into an anorexic, alcoholic, drug addict goth who dropped out of school aged 15 when she became pregnant and is now dead after several suicide attempts, leaving them to deal with a lifetime of guilt. Actually, all that did happen and I am now an angel and the patron saint of crap TV.

went out = went up

All I had was army toys. Today I am quite the pacifist. Thus, let your kids have gun toys.

As long as she knew where I was, my mum was pretty cool. But my aunt and uncle were four doors down and we lived on the same street as my grandfather until he moved somewhere much posher when I was 12. Or I'd be at Nellie's, where there was *actual conversation* with her folks who were mad scientist and head librarian for Hennepin County. The upshot of this was that someone always knew where I was.

Curfew was flexible. It was a far greater sin to miss dinner than to be late back from a party, and I was allowed to go to Rocky Horror when I was 14.

We had no A Team either but Grange Hill was almost compulsory. My family were big fans of Midnight Caller until one episode, after which suddenly it was banned forever but no-one said why.

Two odd ones: I was once banned from watching One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest but allowed to watch *Ten* (Dudley Moore and Bo Derek) the same night. I was also encouraged to read Modesty Blaise books when I was a kid, but 2 out of the series were banned and hidden away, so obviously they were the only ones I cared about reading.

― chris, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I was barred from doing just about anything. Which meant that I became a horrible little brat with a knee-jerk urge to rebel against everything. It also made me very devious and sly, since I had to figure out how to do what I wanted to do without getting caught.

So overprotective parents = dud.

Officially banned from watching Grange Hill but as my mum liked it too we were allowed to watch. I reckon she still watches it. There was a nasty incident when I was 12 when she barred me from reading the Cheerleaders books (= 4th rate Sweet Valley High)and I would sneakily hide them under my mattress and insist on making my own bed.

The most annoying thing my mum did was when I was about 17 and going on a double date to Thame Fair after school. I called to ask what time she wanted me home. 'Oh, doesn't matter, any time' she said. When I turned up at 1 am she stood at the top of the stairs yelling at me and when I pointed out that she had said 'any time' and 1 am was any time she went mental. Parents eh. Now she lives vicariously through my tales of drunken nights in trendy clubs and pubs of London. Bless.

A deadly mix of social snobbism and religious fundamentalism led my parents to ban:

The commercial TV network (there was only one in 60s UK).

All TV commercials (sound had to be muted, which meant lunging for the set, since this was before remotes).

All biscuits and cakes (these were what my proly uncles and aunts in Prestwick had at 'high tea').

All fizzy drinks.

Any trace of regional accent (which is why nobody today believes I'm Scottish).

At the same time, my parents were pretty flamboyant, left 'The Joy Of Sex' lying around, gave me unlimited use of a charge card at Edinburgh's biggest bookshop, liked groovy Scandinavian design, exposed me to lots of travel and living abroad, and can still dazzle me with their knowledge of literature, poetry and philosophy.

In many ways I am totally their product, though they think I'm a bit of a tearaway and a black sheep.

Momus, I am at once, envious and full of pity for you.

My parents were too busy doing drugs to notice the kids.

I was never allowed to watch Robocop for some reason but apart from that my parents took a rather 'hands-off' approach.

I remember my dad being unhappy that I was reading Just 17 when I was 13. He clearly thought that the magazine name was like film ratings.

My mum wouldn't let me read Jackie 'cause she said it was just for girls called Jackie.

heh hee...NO BISCUITS DAMMIT!

Magazines, I forgot them. Banned, all banned except for Bunty.

But Bunty was morally reprehensible!

I was allowed to do pretty much anything except floss. My dad believed it was like hacksawing your teeth off.

My parents gave us absolutely no restrictions or guidance. They did give us intelligence (that was just a lucky genetic thing - and not everyone would agree that I'm intelligent so it might not be true) and information.

We were allowed to do anything and everything but like Momus's house there was no fizzy drinks or chips etc. because *they* wouldn't buy them. As a result I lust after dried apricots and apple juice with the same passion that others reserve for coke, chips and lollies.

In retrospect I find it ironic that we used to go shooting with dad but mum was an anti-gun lobbier.

They were totally anti-religion but I ran away when I was 5 and hung out at the church, refusing to come home until they let me go to Sunday school. I only went for a couple of weeks and then I decided that there is no god.

I don't know if their's was the best policy though because I dropped out of school and left home at 15 and then didn't do anything that wasn't destructive for many years.

And the other thing is, I don't know how they've managed put up with me having such dickhead boyfriends. Five out of six of them have been complete tools. I kind of wish they had stopped me!

My mother was a mormon w. a PhD in Rnglish and Ed Pysch, Who had serious femminist credenitals that she tried to hold. My father had a Masters in Crimnology and was an atheist. They moved to Lethbridge to farm and to held D/Rs across the border. I had an extrememly restrivce childhood but everyone was under the delusion they were hip. I was not allowed to watch certain televison shows, had to go to Church and Boy Scouts , had to pray every day and read the scriptures in the morning. But as well i read everything in there library, we had deep intelluctual fights over the kitchen table and they were life long members of the NDP. It is hard to describe my child hood because my folks divoriced when i was 9 . It was this conflicted and complex household. ALot like momus in fact.

Ooh Bunty, don't get me started on the gorgeous Four Marys, I've never forgotten how much I fancied them when I was 9-ish.

Anthony you sure are a funny fellow. Would you be offended if I preferred reading the opening to your biog as 'My mother was a moron w. a PhD in Rnglish and Ed Pysch'?

My parents were very protective up until I was 15 or so, and then for a while they let off until I went wild and got in (very minor insignificant to everyone except them) trouble with the law. So they got strict again. But then once I turned 17 they stopped caring. I mean I think I could do anything at this stage. Thats not exactly all good either. I'm still dreading them coming back from holidays, I got "the phonecall" tonight and it was like they were here already "wash clothes, clean house" etc. I probably have it easy really I suppose.

My parents were (are) cool...I think they would've liked it if I'd gone out more as a teenager. But we watched all the violent TV shows and I walked to school on my own from about the age of 8. Lots of toy guns.

I ended up with great folks, actually. A lot of our dynamics, I've realized with time, grow around mutual respect for each other's world views and intelligence, and as such we (counting my sister) are all blessedly free of angst or family problems or the like. They've been happily married since 1966, there were never any attempts on their part to make me toe a particular religious or political line (to give an example, such as my slow but sure letting go of my Anglican upbringing, my atheist mom didn't push me any further in that direction and my believing dad never has made an issue of it at all with me), and advice from them is given as suggestion rather than explicit demand. There were restrictions on the amount of TV watched for a few years, the occasional tantrum growing up, stuff like that, but nothing scarring or strange, which probably explains my general blithe attitude towards the world, for better or worse.

My parents were pretty easy on me, except that I asked permission for everything: i.e. "May I use the bathroom?" "May I have a drink of water?"--oh, and I even watched MTV religously until I was caught watching a Twisted Sister video. It was then on banned from the Wright household.

I never had a curfew, but I always was home before 1 a.m. I guess what it comes down to is that my parents never had rules, but I was still scared shitless of them.

I had quite a free and easy upbringing. I grew up in the country where things were quiet but nevertheless I can't quite believe how as a 7 or 8 year I could spend hours out of my parents sight, playing in woods, fields, rivers etc. My sis and I had to walk about half a mile to get a bus to school, come rain,snow or sun. If that happened now my parents would probably be reported to the police or social services for neglect.

My nippers six and he probably doesn't have half the freedom to wander I had at that age. It's qwkward trying to balance perceived risk against the need to allow him to go out and fuck things up for himself.

They're pretty strict, but since my best friends also have pretty strict parents it's not a big deal. When I was little I wasn't allowed to play Fox and Hound with the kids in the neighborhood because it was after dark and I'm still not allowed to ride my bike after dark, and rarely allowed to go out walking (hahaha, yeah right). MTV has been blocked since we got cable, along with VH1 and Nickelodeon, because my mother found them "inappropriate for children," but if there's something specific one of us wants to see on thsoe channels my dad will make them temporarily accessible. I am not allowed to stay out past ten. I am not allowed to ride in cars with teenagers whose driving my mom has not tested and personally approved. However, I may read anything I want.

My grandparents and mom were total worriers... so they had to approve everything I did that involved leaving the house without them. It completely sank my social life up until high school graduation. On the other hand, they would be generous when it came to me asking to go to record stores and video game arcades. So I was able to come out buying pretty much any record I wanted, and staying as long as I wanted at video arcades.

They never knew what I was doing. & in fact I was never actually doing anything.

I was not allowed to watch Mork & Mindy nor the Duke Boys of Hazzard County. The rest of my life I've been trying to catch up.

Whay were'nt you allowed to watch Mork and Mindy, Tracer?...it seems a strange programme to ban!

My parents accompanied me to school until I was 18. Beat that. Then again...
I will never EVER forget my mother crawling up the stairs. Asking her what was the matter, she claimed she had the flue. Liar. She had smoked some joints with a friend. "Ooooh the lights... they are OPENING and CLOSING!" My parents took me clubbing when I was 12. They stopped around the time I was 15.

My dad once hung me upside down on a torture rack and sodomized me as punishment for leaving a headless corpse on the carpet, as he had previously asked me to save the heads for soup. Then, he told he he wasn't my real dad. What a day.

My parents were teenage JD rebels in the fifties, so they didn't have much grounds for cracking down on us. I don't remember much discipline - screaming matches, yes, but not discipline. They would quote the Founding Fathers and the Bill of Rights religiously, so we would quote that stuff right back at them during a conflict. I think we were all better-behaved than they ever were. I remember when I wore my first "punk" (yeah, right) outfit to school and my mom thought it was "cute".

Another thing - my brother earnestly experimented with "Satanism" as a teenager, even making a pentagram with candles on the floor of his bedroom. And my mom is a devout Catholic, but she allowed the Satanic Bible in the house. At the time, I thought she was just respecting his freedom of religion and his freedom to read what he chose, but I think she just had a healthy perspective on this as normal teenage rebellion. He's a Methodist now, which is probably a bigger heresy.

For starters, my mother felt I was too small when it came time for kindergarten and decided to keep me home an extra year. I was never around a lot of people and she always talked for me. I was extremely shy before the 1st grade. I'm 33 now and haven't been able to shake it yet. Her biggest goal, I believe, was to protect me from the male population. If there was anything involving guys, I wasn't allowed to partake in it. I was an honor student throughout school but was never allowed to join any school clubs, activities or participate in any sports. The only thing I was able to do was attend school and come straight home. Couldn't talk on the phone or have friends over let alone visit them. I now have no social skills whatsoever, I'm terrified of crowds and hardly talk at all in public. I also spent my life working jobs that allowed me to work alone. Because of my sheltered life, I didn't go to college because there were too many people. I panic when people look at me. I don't have friends now (by choice). I became very withdrawn and many times didn't feel like I could survive by myself. I feel it has ruined my life in many aspects and I don't know how to get away from it.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I nor anyone else here can be of much help to you. Ever thought about seeing a psychiatrist?

This is a really sad thread to read again.

My mother warned me not to pick up trash because it might have a bomb in it. She would not allow me to use the washing machine until I was 18 years old. She caused me to have an immense fear (continuing today) of having my hands crushed in a car door. She told me that eating ice cream too fast would cause me to have a stroke. This is just a sampling off the top of my head.

Wow. In hindsight after having typed all that out, my mom wasn't so much being overprotective as she was simply creating a climate of fear.

I wish this thread hadn't been revived, it is sad to re-read some of the things written here.

my parents 'banned' my brothers and I from playing with toy guns for a few months, we were bitter as all we played was army/cops and robbers type of games. We made our own toy guns from wood and electrical tape. When my parents found them, they gave up. We didn't have TV because 'it rots your brain'. For that, I am eternally grateful to them as I read voraciously from about age 3 up. Once I got to high school, my dad was completely disinterested with the family and my mom couldn't control my brothers and I, so I did whatever I wanted all the time. I was good at school and got top grades, but drank like a fish, stayed out all night frequently on benders, sold marijuana, and stole things all the time with my friends. I didn't have the direction I needed when it came to things like picking which college to go to, etc., but my parents both were the first generation in their families to really go to college. I wouldn't recommend any parent giving their kid (or allowing them to take) the amount of freedom I had in high school.

My parents were too absorbed in their own problems to exercise much protection around me or my sister. (Not that I took much advantage of this liberty; I didn't have many friends because I was [and still am] so socially awkward, and didn't know any boys with whom to misbehave.) My mother refused to buy TV dinners or Pop-tarts, but was lax about every other sort of junk food. And they didn't exercise much censorship, but because this had to have been the only household in Montgomery County, Maryland, without cable TV or a VCR, I spent most of my childhood reading.

My parents were unbelievably strict with me when I was a minor, as is the case, really, with most parents in our ethnic group. (It's one of those identifying marks you keep on hearing about that's actually true.) They never let me get away with any sort of rowdy behavior, insisted I kept my bedroom picked up, neat and clean, insisted on proper manners at all times, slapped my mouth if I even said "damn" as a teenager, and were in general really demanding and expectant of me. At the same time, though, they were amazingly permissive of me when it came to entertainment choices, probably because they sensed they could trust me there even as a small child -- I could read whatever books I wanted to read (which meant I got to see how shit Jackie Collins was at an early age), watch whatever TV I wanted to watch (even though my main programming choices were PBS and the Weather Channel), and listen to whatever radio stations I wanted to listen to (I reached for the oldies and easy listening stations most often, though).

I think what my parents did was a huge service, because I never got into trouble as a child, never feel much like getting into trouble, and just feel like keeping the straight and narrow is the easiest path for me to follow in life. Whenever I look at little children running around and screaming, I desperately wish their parents were like mine were, because my parents wouldn't have stood for that behavior. If I'd dared behave like that, I would've been glared at by my father, taken back to the vehicle, been given a severe talking to by my mother, been taken home, maybe gotten a few swats on the behind, and definitely would've been left to think of how big of an embarrassment I was to my parents and to myself.

saddest. thread. ever.

yeah, DG says he wasn't allowed to watch robocop. my flatmate's boyfriend and I were talking, the other night, and discovered we'd both seen it when we were, like, seven.

I had nothing banned or any real restrictions applied, just as long as I didn't take the piss by not coming home until really late [before I was sixteen/seventeen] or annoy them a lot. I wonder if I am fucked up, as a result.