Gallows etiquette

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I'm not a very 'stiff-upper-lip' kind of guy, so if anyone has tips on how best to present oneself during the great pre-hanging ceremony which is imminent for me, please share.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Take it on the chin. I still cannot imagine what on earth you could have done that could be so bad.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Take tips from Charles II, as in, be totally unrepentant and brave. You may want to wear an extra shirt, so that people do not mistake shivering from cold for shivering from fear!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I actually thought this was gonna be your thread kate.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

What, like I'm going to a good old 17th Century Stylee hanging or something?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Capital, capital -- I'm going to be a martyr I think.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Tyburn awaits! Be brave!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Oop -- two minutes silence

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I have been told that I should have a portable gallows, whenever I start knitting in a group of people. Clack. Clack. I recommend continuing to drink whilst you knit. This means that by the time you come to seam you create an interesting bumpy effect by means of ALE.

Two minutes has gone on for an awfy long time 'ere.

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I came here to see a hanging. When are we going to get it?

Taking sides: Gallows vs. Guillotine? It's so nice we're civilised unlike those French bastards!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather be shot, I think. Weirdly I *do* care about ver Armistice, but I didn't go and be silent *with other people* -- what difference does it make? Now I look wacker than I did 10 min ago.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, you mean the 2 minute silence was something real and not a two minute silence for the accused, that being you? Sorry, didn't mean to be disrespectful.

Do people still celebrate Armistice Day? Like, really? I mean, honestly WORLD WAR ONE WAS 90 YEARS AGO, GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I agree, really. To have fought in WW1 you'd have to be 102 years old, I think, unless you bullshitted your way into the army by fibbing about yr age (in which case DUH!). I think the two minutes are a good idea for the victims of all wars, but on the other hand they can get turned into slightly iffy displays of chauvinism.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Enrique - as soon as they say "There's something we need to talk about" you should start blubbering and beg not to be fired and so on, and then it'll turn out they had missed this massive error you have committed and were going to promote you.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:12 (twenty-two years ago)

it may turn out like the episode of blackadder 2 where he's made executioner, hmmmm

no it hasn't; but i do get to explain over email, not face to face

― enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

It is proper to tip the executioner generously.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

you can't take it with you

― enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, tip the executioner or else your head may not come off at the first swing of the axe! (Is this what happened to one of the Tudor Marys or am I thinking of Anne Bolyne?)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

mary queen of scots

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, I was right the first time. And her wig fell off, and her hair was iron grey underneath, and a small dog who had been living in her long skirts ran out and started yapping madly.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, take your tips from Nabokov's "Invitation to a Beheading" and realize that you are not actually going to be hanged, but that you are, in fact, just a metaphor.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm, yes... for... erm, the crisis of... work with me here... yeah, that'll be it...

― enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

And that moth in the corner of your cubicle...if you touch it, you'll see it's not an actual moth, but a carefully constructed facsimile.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 13:13 (twenty-two years ago)

admit your mistake, but dont make any excuses, or apologise. agree you did things wrong, look them in the eye

― charltonlido (gareth), Tuesday, 11 November 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

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