Humanism can go suck it

I never saw the "teaching people to be nice" part of the job description for "getting by" but somehow it worked its way in there.

And sometimes you explain to someone just why they're being hurtful in clear tones and then they get even more freaky and nasty to you.

I have some fucking martyr complex or something called "giving a damn".

You know what? If your friends betray you, cut them off. If you lack the nerve for revenge, don't do it because it'll make you feel unnatural and wrong. Just cut them off. When they call, talk fast and hang up before they can explain themselves. It works.

If you find that far too many people are fucking you over at once, check if you're the one that's doing something wrong.

I finally broke up w the Boyfriendthing last month, after six months of Understanding and Supporting him through his post-grad study [translation, was ignored for large stretches, blamed as distraction for lack of study progress - during said stretches of ignoredness, mind - and periodically used as Emotional Dartboard]. Eventually realised that even his ex was ahead of me in his priorities, & being taken for granted/blamy own state of mind.

Unfortunately being so bloody Understanding and Supportive meant i had to still be nice and friendly to him in all his "I Don't Know What's Wrong I Thought We Were So Happy" incredulity. And today, after following me around for a month demanding reconciliation & to know what went wrong for the 57th time [apparently the other 56 answers suggested he was in some teensy tiny way responsible, and therefore null and void], he announced that actually he'd gone off me months ago, found Political Science sexier than me, was glad he was single...oh, and we're still friends, right?

In future ima get the "Objectified Toy Boy Plaything" t-shirt printed in advance. Kwp-schh.

Unless you think ppl are like the fascists in pasolini's 'salo' (which means that wouldn't work).

Sterling (I almost just wrote "SterLONG") your photos from the NYC FAP really freaked me out! You lost all your "baby fat"!!

Epictetus comes in really handy in these situations, Sterling. I recommend.

to a certain extent, i can accept that people can be assholes. and they're not always going to behave according to my expectations and all that. but where do you draw the line? i mean, "okay, i can deal with the fact that you don't exactly know how to treat me with respect and compassion. that's totally fine! yes, just go ahead and stick that knife in there a little deeper, i don't mind. i mean, i 'understand' that this is just the way you are!" shit.

And sometimes I feel like the only person on the planet whose idea of emotional connection involves talking and thinking about, y'know, the world.

i hear ya.

hope the hurt you're feeling fades away quickly and that you can somehow move on.

feeling slightly better.

In my experience, some people will take advantage of your opening up, and use it against you. But in my experience, they are in a minority compared to those with whom this makes your relationship stronger. I think I've gained a lot more than I've lost by this, and I think my life would have been poorer without it - so I'll keep putting a fair degree of faith in others, with a bit of caution where I don't really trust the person (this is fairly rare), and I'll be happy if it turns out roughly as it has so far.

It's dangerous to think this way, because you can lose your ability to distinguish between asshats and normal people.

GE is talking about it. So are American Express and eBay. It’s at the
top of the agenda at the world’s leading companies, from consumer electronics to pharmaceuticals. As ever, it’s at the heart of small business. It’s global, from China to Brazil to India. Governments are onto it. So is academia. It’s hard to pin down. And yet you can sum it up in a single question. What Makes You Special?

-- From IBM advertising campaign, spring 2006