Cool-sounding Job Titles

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icy blend: are you REALLY from England orig?
andrew1nf: er, no :)
icy blend: I guess yr not 79 either
andrew1nf: nor a whatever the hell it says i am profession
icy blend: dork
icy blend: yr fake job sounds kinda cooler tho
andrew1nf: what is it?
icy blend: hazardous materials engineer?
andrew1nf: haha yeah
andrew1nf: damn i wish i had that job
andrew1nf: i bet my friends and family don't
andrew1nf: but yeah
icy blend: you'd be rugged and dangerous, but still smart
andrew1nf: i'm already rugged and dangerous
icy blend: well a dangerous computer guy just sounds a bit scary
andrew1nf: scary? like how?
icy blend: I dunno, do you kill people?
icy blend: I guess you take drugs
andrew1nf: i'd best leave that one unanswered
icy blend: oooh mysterious
andrew1nf: btw, this whole conversation is going into a new thread
icy blend: GOODY!
andrew1nf: any words for the fans?
icy blend: no, I've been awake for like 30 mins
andrew1nf: ok, here goes

"Hazardous Materials Engineer" has a nice ring to it. What are some other cool-sounding job titles? Do you have a cool-sounding job? Does it live up to its title?

― Andrew (enneff), Friday, 14 November 2003 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bar Manager" doesn't sound overly exciting, no. But it does mean I start work at two in the afternoon. And have cute waitresses.

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 14 November 2003 01:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"Day and Billing Supervisor, Langson Library Reserves." Oh, the white-hot passion.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

"bum"

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bumfighter"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Pension plan for that?

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

benefits are shit but the hours are good

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"That's a point two-five increase after tax per annum per bum fought each year after retrement. Would you like a house?"

― Matt (Matt), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"Bumkisser"

― oops (Oops), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"freelance consultant"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Secret Funky Maestro of Fuck

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Friday, 14 November 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

patron of the anal arts

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 14 November 2003 02:30 (twenty-two years ago)

"Senior Telepathy Engineer"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Friday, 14 November 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I've no idea how cool my job title is. I just know that it's long winded - Electronic Content Quality Controller. Prior to that I was an Assistant Local Applications Manager.

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 14 November 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

'Change Management Support Specialist' ooohh yeeeaaahh...

― robster (robster), Friday, 14 November 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

apparently, the big boss man wanted the job title to be Electronic Content Production Controller, then we'd be "easy peasy".

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 14 November 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I used to work as a Hausmeister. How cool is that!

(don't translate plz)

― Herbstmute (Wintermute), Friday, 14 November 2003 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Workshy Fop" should be written in my passport, according to "friends" of mine. Not that job titles go in passports anymore.

My flatmate is "Curator of Non-Marine Molluscs" at the Natural History Museum, and I think that's pretty fucking cool.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 14 November 2003 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"Asshat Engineer".

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 14 November 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

logistics planner - woohoo

although I used to be an Inventory controller

― chris (chris), Friday, 14 November 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"Laboratory Network Manager" = I unlock passwords and update McAfee Viruscan DAT files.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Friday, 14 November 2003 13:52 (twenty-two years ago)

"Audio Visual Assistant" - I am your eyes and ears! Though I'm quite irritated that my job is considerably more than being an 'assistant' these days.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Friday, 14 November 2003 14:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Assistant Resources Co-Ordinator. The vague ones are the best.

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 14 November 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Curator of Non-Marine Molluscs.

Snail Keeper.

― Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Friday, 14 November 2003 14:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Community Events Co-ordinator (one of my many titles, the key one is "dipshit" though) makes it sound like I organize the events, when really, all I do is compile the weekly calendar.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

i once saw a guy listing his job as "Pumpin Truck"

he wasn't the driver, apparently, he was the TRUCK, and he was PUMPIN, yo!

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

misread as PumpKin Truck

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

my mate just got a job as a 'rights of way technician'

― Fuzzy (Fuzzy), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a 'Bit Wrangler'.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Lollipop lady?

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 14 November 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Curator of Non-Marine Molluscs = Snail Keeper

Absolutely spot-on! He loves snails, has pictures of them on his walls and everything. Hates slugs tho, go figure.

I once witnessed the incredible sight of two massive (like, 5 inch-long) slugs fucking on our kitchen wall. Really, it was beautiful.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Friday, 14 November 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Anything where you can be a sergeant-at-arms.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Friday, 14 November 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My main task for the next three months or so could well be described as Hazardous Materials Analyst!

When I was editing comic books my boss was getting business cards for me and asked what my job title should be. Thinking it wasn't a serious question (editor, obviously) I proposed International Excutive Managing Editorial Director. He thought I was serious and wanted to know if that might be a little on the long side for a card.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 14 November 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

what was his title, Martin?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 14 November 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Managing Director - straightforward enough.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 14 November 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmmm...

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 14 November 2003 21:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm a Client Care Specialist because I care so much.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 14 November 2003 21:40 (twenty-two years ago)

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