This is a local bus for local people

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Am I an idiot, or does anyone else find it impossible to use bus services unless they already know exactly where it's going? 4 times so far in the 3 weeks I've been in Manchester I've got on buses and been faced with "I'm not going there mate", even though after each embarrasment I've been more and more studiously correlating the signs, maps and timetables. Everywhere else new I've been it usually takes at least one mistake before I get the right bus. This culminated today in this exchange:

Me: "Old Trafford please." (As written on the front of the fucking bus, and the bus stop)
Driver: "I don't go there"
M: "ermm [mumbling in the hope the driver will pick a destination for me] mmmtrafffmmmord?mmm"
D: [Nothing]
M: [hiding behind hair] "Oh, wherever you're going, alright?"
D: "huh?"
M: "Oh forget it" [running away, trying not to exist]

So again, am I an idiot? Or are outsiders really expected to spend days studying the timetable (which I can't even find one of anywhere, and the maps at the bus stops are useless), and to know exactly how specific/vague to be about the destination, before they have the audacity to ask for a 10 minute bus ride somewhere. Is this a familiar story?

― Graham, Saturday, 6 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

nah, yr no idiot, i've lived in sydney for 10 months now, got on a bus on wed that goes where i like to go, about 2 ks before my stop and with only 3 or 4 left on board, the bus stops, I wander up and ask whether this goes to uni (it said it did), driver goes no, not today, oh, why not?, i'm just not going there today...when will the next bus be? don't ask me, there's a timetable on that bus stop over there, i get off, bus drives off...fucker

― Geoff, Saturday, 6 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

show some leg.

― ethan, Saturday, 6 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham you insipid fop.

― Mike Hanle y, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

A simple 'your display says you're going there, so explain' might help. But then you're quite shy and student-baiting is a sport in MCR. I'd have definitely gotten stroppy by now.

There has to be a bus phoneline. Call it if you are unsure. Also use it to complain.

― suzy, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I really wish there was a way to get back at bus drivers without slowing down everybody else's journey. Whenever you try to question them, they just stop and say "We're not moving until you a)get off b) stop hassling me", and everybody on the bus glares daggers at you. However, you can get the passengers on your side by calmly asking the driver their name, which they'll usually refuse to do, making THEM look like the bitter, paranoid, neurotics they are. So what if their jobs are shitty? So's mine, and yours too.

― dave q, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

In fact, I saw somebody do this on the (I think) no. 10, when it terminated unexpectedly with no explanation forthcoming. A woman asked for the driver's name, and was told "No, you'll just ring up the complaints number and tell lies about me". This did not go down well with the other passengers, and a near-lynching situation developed, which served the fucker right if you ask me.

― dave q, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

As far as complaints go, you don't necessarily need the driver's name: the time and location of the bus may well be enough (except when five come at once ha!!), and in London at least they have a code number so the side (a little card in a kind of slot, on the non-driver side: they're short enough to commit to memory, on the scale of C12, when the half-empty bus fails to stop despite all your arm-waving: get yr mobile out and ring compaints immediately).

― mark s, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't think the driver was being an arse this time. I didn't quote the driver word for word, and I think what he meant was the bus wasn't going to Old Trafford, it was just going in that general direction (which was fine, because I was just going in that general direction), but because I couldn't be more specific (because I don't have a clue where it actually goes), I was screwed. Happenned again today: Getting a bus to Manchester city centre to this here interweb cafe, so I say "City centre please" and he's like "huh?". I know Salford is technically a city, but did he really need me to say which one I was referring to? Grrr.

― Graham, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

buses are the spawn of the devil. trams are the answer

― ambrose, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

They've renamed the company Blue Bus and painted the buses YELLOW.

AAAARGH.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

but is the lettering blue?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, but the bus isn't.

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Get the MAGIC BUSES everywhere! Hooray for the magic buses!!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm generally fairly competent at bus behaviour but the buses in Manchester bwildered me this weekend. Multiple prioces for the same journey, non-existent timetables. Gah!

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

The timetables are the only good bit about Manchester buses.
Same journey on different numbers = different fare

I have no idea where the Magic Buses actually go, though maybe that's the point. (And those are blue).

― Graham (graham), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Same journey on different numbers = different fare = mentalism run rampant.

― Tim (Tim), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

In Glasgow the "First" buses have got loads better, but there are private companies that have little run down buses and it's like Wacky Races getting on one of them! They literally race each other to the bus stops to get customers. Highly entertaining on your way to work on a rainy Monday, but sometimes slightly disconcerting.

― Anonymous (Anonymous), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The minibuses in Hong Kong are GREAT FUN. They stop anywhere you want them to. When you want to get off, you just shout "Yau Lok!" which means something about wanting to get outta here now, and the driver will obligingly stop. Often immediately, so you smash your nose on the front windscreen, but hey! rhinoplasty is a small price to pay for travelling door-to-door like that.

An Australian friend of mine could never remember the correct Cantonese phrase to shout, so he would yell "kangaroo" instead, and this seemed to work just as well.

Sorry you are having such a rough time with Mancunian buses, Graham. I haven't lived there for simply ages so I am no use at all really. Sorry.

― C J (C J), Wednesday, 25 September 2002 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Bus drivers are horrible people who deliberately try and make everyone else's life a misery. My worst bus driver story is from Auckland (of course) where two kids going home didn't have enough money. So they asked if they could get new tickets and only go half way. Bus driver refused and ordered them off the bus. My kind brother offered to pay the difference so they could keep existing tickets and go the whole way. Bus driver refused and ordered them all off the bus!

― isadora, Wednesday, 25 September 2002 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

bus drivers seem to be horrible ppl the world over. But why? Do the job adverts say "nice ppl need not apply"?

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I agree, the majority of bus drivers are jobsworth a**holes and need a good smack but......I used to get the last bus at night from the same bus stop a couple of days each week and there was one lovely bus driver who was always telling me about how much he worried about me travelling at night, and he always waited around for me if I wasn't there - isn't that really sweet? And he wasn't an old letch before you all start.

― Anonymous (Anonymous), Thursday, 26 September 2002 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Blue Bus!

I went out with one of the owner's sons for a very long time.

It was a very sad time in my life. I've got lots of bus stories that I wish I could forget.

I can't really remember any of the drivers. One or two were really nice, but not many others stick in my memory. There was much hilarity when a transvestite started working for them, and started compaining that the buses didn't have power steering and she was breaking her nails. Her complaints didn't go down too well with the rest of the staff! I don't think she lasted very long.

It's a shitty job though, awful hours, no thanks, rude people. The nice bus drivers can't really hack it.

― Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 26 September 2002 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

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