FITE: Ketchup vs HP

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bring on it, sauce lovers

(HP for me)

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

HP?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

you cant eat a printer

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Houses of Parliament all the way (Daddy's is a fine substitute).

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

beauty incarnate

http://lekker.safeshopper.com/images/10ef0nj.gif

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

But what EEEZ it, man? Give us a sense of what it tastes like, what's in it, etc.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

fry ups: brown wins
fish & chips: red wins

― robster (robster), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

so it's like A1 i guess ned

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

depends what on - hp on bacon and pretty much else heinz tomato ketchup on sausages, salad cream on everything else (including pudding, sinkah!!!)

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

salad cream on everything else

DIE AND BE BURIED.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

christ ned, i'm aghast you didn't eat a fried bacon sandwich filled with HP sauce on your recent visit

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

A1 is a bit like HP but much much much more shit

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

like its been watered down

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

christ ned, i'm aghast you didn't eat a fried bacon sandwich filled with HP sauce on your recent visit

You didn't even take me to the Wimpy's FAP y'all promised, so clearly there was mission failure here!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Generic Brown Sauce is so much better than generic Red Sauce. Brown for most uses Daddy's is better than HP though, it's sharper. Also, anchovy ketchup.

― Ed (dali), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

HP Sauce is the only genuine and original brown sauce, which since 1899 has set the standard for quality. Everyone's favourite, this legendary and uniquely distinctive taste sensation is the result of HP's dedication to sourcing the highest quality ingredients and using a closely guarded secret recipe.
HP Sauce the original and the best!
Everything goes well with HP Sauce. Great for spicing up chips, bacon sandwiches, sausages and snacks such as jacket potatoes and baked beans.
By appointment to her Majesty the Queen.
HP Foods Ltd - Part of the Danone Group.
100% natural. No artificial colour. No artificial preservatives. No artificial flavours. Low in fat. Suitable for Vegetarians.
Ingredients: Malt vinegar, tomatoes, molasses, spirit vinegar, sugar, dates, salt, cornflour, rye flour, tamarinds, soy sauce, spices, onion extract.

100g has 0.2g fat, 27.1g carbohydrate, 1.1g protein, and 507KJ energy.

from here

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

ketchup = ambrosia (nb not ambrosia creamed rice, obv)

brown sauce = pus.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Burger King here are currently doing sausage (burger), egg, bacon and cheese with HP sauce in a bun. predictable rubbery quality overall but still pretty hard to resist in the mornings.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

ed you are truly mentalized - daddies in more vinegary and chemical, hp you can taste the tropical goodness of TAMARIND!!! hammond's chop sauce is however a work of total genius and sublime culinary beauty, enough even to rival salad cream

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

A1/HP is *great* on katsu and tori-age. I am a toast/ketchup/mayo person vis-a-vis bacon sandwiches, and do peppercorn mustard or onion marmalade on my sausages.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

if HP sauce was invented in 1899 would the inclusion of soy sauce as a base ingredient not be a fairly recent addition?

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

nah, not at all

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I am a toast/ketchup/mayo person vis-a-vis bacon sandwiches

this is total lunacy

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

the only drawback to brown sauce is that it doesn't go so well with the feesh (as robin wisely noted upthread)

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:31 (twenty-one years ago)

(stop pulling my pigtails, Stelfox)

If the feeeeesh is tempura or salmon katsu, bring the HP!

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Fish is where tartare comes in. I honestly don't have ketchup on anything. Chips with mayo please.

― Madchen (Madchen), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:36 (twenty-one years ago)

KETCHUP FUCKAS!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

(stop pulling my pigtails, Stelfox)

*trips you up and runs off to play with mates*

bacon sandwiches HAVE to be on rubbish white bread and slathered liberally in hp!!! end of discussion!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

how are you all not dead yet?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

HP sauce must be a preservative.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Brown sauce is not a known toxin

― Ed (dali), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

it's like they took a college freshman's diet and made it the national cuisine

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

british food is better than you know, jess - we are thinner than americans

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

beat him to death with Parkin and Faggots

― Ed (dali), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

brown sauce in a bacon sandwich = heresy

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Ketchup = good for the heart? Or is that an urban myth?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

was only talking about faggots today - a good faggot in onion gravy is one of the best things ever... the abvove post is, of course, fucking mental

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

both of them

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ketchup should only be eaten with french fries or on hamburgers, so no it's not good for the heart

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:46 (twenty-one years ago)

have you never had a ketchup sandwich?!?

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Ketchup--and it better be Heinz, none of this Hunt's crap

Pittsburgh reprazent!

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

ketchup sandwich?!?! I'm requesting a moderator lock this thread.

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i like ketchup but i so rarely have it, even prefer mayo with the chips (esp. garlic mayo) *hi fives madchen*

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Heinz >>>> Hunts

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

i didn't say thin i said "dead", dave. (nb: i dont believe the thin thing for a minute if we're talking per capita, here.)

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago)

yes but america does have fatter fat people

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Dijonaisse

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

have you been around with a measuring tape?

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

you guys have to take entire walls down to get out of the house - now that's what i call unhealthy!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

For Stelfox, I guess Heinz only meanz beanz.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 14 November 2003 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 48 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

can any Scots (possibly only east coasters) interject with chippy sauce. which is just nirvana with a chips. The unhappiest moment of being in an english chippy is the question "red or brown?" - NO just SAUCE

― Jack St E (Jack St E), Friday, 14 November 2003 21:46 (twenty-one years ago)

i won't make you eat eggs, luna. you just have to have brown sauce on it, not ketchup. that's the important part

I'd never eat ketchup with bacon.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 14 November 2003 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

your getting the idea, its brown sauce all the way

― Ed (dali), Friday, 14 November 2003 22:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Ed forgot to buy the brown sauce yesterday.

― suzy (suzy), Saturday, 15 November 2003 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Best thread ever, obv.

Brown sauce on egg. It's a rule of life. Sweet tomato and egg is a bad thing. The lovely spiciness of brown (HP natch) on a fry-up then washed down with a really hot cup of tea creates a lovely little pain sensation in my mouth which is my only concession to S&M type behaviour.

Brown is OK on bacon and Sausage butties, but brown is such a better accompaniment to meat. Stelfox is so OTM it hurts.

― Dave B (daveb), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I should probably point out here that the only time I want ketchup having anything to do with bacon is: the bacon on toast with ketchup and mayo sandwich. The only time ketchup should go anywhere near sausages is at a barbecue.

Brown sauce is very metallic-tasting.

― suzy (suzy), Saturday, 15 November 2003 10:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I have just had a bacon and HP on Super Toastie sarnie and my hunger is not yet sated! I shall go to the kitchen and make another and call it lunch.

― Madchen (Madchen), Saturday, 15 November 2003 11:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I've just come back from Borough, and am making burgers for the match and they certainly won't be faggots without flair, there's nothing flairy about faggots, they're good proper and wholesome.

― chris (chris), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

The regularity with which these autocondimentalist threads emerge only goes to prove how mentalst we all are.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

you guys KNOW that honey-mustard is where it's at.

― nathalie (nathalie), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

If your talking mustard then green peppercorn mustard rules all.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

but not on a bacon sandwich obviously, mustard on a bacon sandwich is clearly madness

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:42 (twenty-one years ago)

I have a green peppercorn mustard tube in my fridge. Haven't touched the thing in months. the one pot of honey mustard i started this monday is almost empty.

― nathalie (nathalie), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

stelfox is correct

hp brown sauce. white bread (untoasted). bacon well done

ketchup/red sauce. in the bin

put all other condiments and flavourings back on the shelf. and dial 13576969577389 and you can get some bacon affection

its so simple to do

― charltonlido (gareth), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I take it the internet installation went ok.

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

dial 13576969577389 and you can get some bacon affection

No sex phone line spasms PLEASE.

― nathalie (nathalie), Saturday, 15 November 2003 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I am suspcious of brown sauce. Ketchup all the way.

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 15 November 2003 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate hearing about what English people eat.

― Sean (Sean), Saturday, 15 November 2003 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

explain yourself Sean!

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 15 November 2003 23:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Ketchup = good for the heart? Or is that an urban myth?

It is cooked tomato stuff = it has bioavailable lycopene, which may lower the risk of certain diseases, including cancer and heart disease. But eating it with fried potatoes probably cancels out any benefits.

― j.lu (j.lu), Sunday, 16 November 2003 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

They may just cancel each other out - the same happens when you have a diet Irn Bru with your sausage supper, I hear.

― Madchen (Madchen), Sunday, 16 November 2003 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Sigh.

Ultimate chip sauce is 1 part ketchup and 1 part brown sauce, mixed together. Preferably with a chip.

How am I supposed to choose between them?

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 08:58 (twenty-one years ago)

hey mixing the two is not something i do....enough

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Mixing the two together is k-classic! It's tangy! And saucy! And a much more pleasing burgundy colour than either the neon crimson of tomato ketchup or the boring brown of brown sauce.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:58 (twenty-one years ago)

if it's good, you'd think that Heinz or whoever would have mixed the sauces themselves and started to sell the mixture under a new name. After all, Thousand Island Dressing started life in this way.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 17 November 2003 09:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no! Oh no! It's copyrighted on this thread now since I brought it up! My burgundy sauce! Mine!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

you can call it Kate-ch P sauce

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

or Brown Kate-chup

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I agree with Jel.

― Tim (Tim), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:09 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread almost makes me want to start eating red meat again. Dave appears to be OTM. I'll just do my usual shout out for Jamaican Pickapeppa as an exciting HP alternative.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:16 (twenty-one years ago)

You are all mad!

The law of sauces is as follows:

Bacon buttie: NO SAUCE, just dip the pappy white bread into the fat from the frying pan/grill tray
BLT: MAYO
Egg or sausage buttie, and general fry up situation: BROWN
Fish and chips: vinegar, salt and RED
Chips by themselves: vinegar, salt and MAYO
Potato Waffles: MAYO and RED mixed up (hurrah)

― Ricardo (RickyT), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:19 (twenty-one years ago)

The law of sauce according to a Roy Harper fan. Hah! Mayo and Red mixed up?! YOU ABSOLUTE AND UTTER MENTALIST. White goo should not go anywhere NEAR the blessed potato.

NO SAUCE ON EGG AT ALL!

One rule is that sandwiches should never be toasted UNLESS you are having one of those fancy "club sandwich" things and that is something that I do not feel should be eaten in the home unless you have your own personal stash of miniature flags. And if you DO you are madder than RicardoT.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Eggs require ketchup if they have CHEESE on them.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ketchup certainly does not go with cheese - excuse me I have to ignore the fact that you said eggs and cheese.

No, it's still there.

EGGS AND CHEESE?!

OK OK a bit of parmesan on a carbonara perhaps? Maybe on... scrambled... egg NO THAT IS NOT RIGHT!!!!

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Egg sandwich with melted American cheese! Classic! Even more classic with ketchup! I mean, don't you put ketchup on your omelettes? And eggy bread? Mmmmmm!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Ketchup on omlettes is indeed classic.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

No!!! Not at all! They are on the wrong side of the egg divide! Oh blech! Isn't that the sole preserve of McDonalds? When you say egg sandwich do you mean fried eggs?! And when does the ketchup go??

I can't believe I'm still being made hungry after that.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:38 (twenty-one years ago)

If egg is fried, then sandwich needs ketchup. If egg is boiled, then sandwich needs mayonaise. Depends on cooking method, you see. Anything fried tastes better with ketchup. It absorbs the grease, you see.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:40 (twenty-one years ago)

The egg needs toast (UNLESS it is in a sandwich and therefore it should be raw toast) with butter and none of this additional trappings! The thought of ketchup going into the gooey yolk well gee it makes me shudder! Also IF the ketchup absorbs grease it takes it away from the bread - this be a BAD THING.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Toasting the bread for your sandwich keeps the bread from disintegrating in your hands - which you don't want happening when you are clutching a piping hot breakfast sarnie with hot ingredients (see: toasting the white side of your hamburger bun to prevent einsturzende hamburger).

Also the way the runny egg yolk combines with the ketchup is way tastier than it has any right to be.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

If it's that bad you can eat it with a knife and fork and make the bread even MORE mushier num num. And if you must eat it with your hands I like to think of it as a fried adventure. Toast CRUMBS getting in the way of your egg = THE HORROR.

I think I am slightly against egg combining with other ingredients anyway to be honest. Not that I won't turn down a sossidge and egg sand-witch but I wd prefer one egg and one sossidge. Or maybe half and half.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

There needs to be melted american cheese on one side to facillitate bonding with the bread (preferably a big fluffy US style BUN so einsturzende bunburger does not happen) and ketchup on the other side, for the same reason. It's all about traction.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:52 (twenty-one years ago)

food is the only subject worse than music when it comes to the 'WHAT? YOU LIKE THAT? YOU'RE MAD! AND INCREDIBLY WRONG! IT SHOULD BE LIKE THIS!' (even tho it's no better or worse either way in reality) schtick. still fun tho.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:53 (twenty-one years ago)

only bread for bacon/sossidge/egg sandwich = pappy white, pressed down onto sandwich so the grease starts oozing through. Anything else is for the dilettante.

Mind you sauce = whatever happens to be my mood at the time, it may be red, it may be brown, it's hardly ever mmayo though. Tartare sauce on a chip buttie is kinda good though.

and sweet chilli sauce is really good on fried eggs on toast (which should be eaten with knife and fork)

― chris (chris), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

it's an interesting comparison. Maybe fast food = easy listening and some really vile combination like a combination of mushy peas and lemon curd = avant-garde, but what is indie food? Heavy metal food? Goth food? ect ect.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 17 November 2003 10:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Eggs with chili is an excellent combination. I love scrambled eggs with Sri Racha, Tabsco or Encona sauce.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 17 November 2003 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Ed should be the new TV chef

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 November 2003 11:05 (twenty-one years ago)

i'd ~~watch~~tape it!

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 17 November 2003 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Sriracha sauce is amazing on scrambled eggs, seconded.

Also if you mix sweet chilli sauce with mayo you have the most amazing dip for fish fingers (which you must wrap in lettuce so as not to burn fingers, Viet-style).

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 17 November 2003 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Revive Jack St E's comment on the 14th - chippy sauce is the best thing ever. It's diluted brown sauce so the heat from the chips evaporates the water and makes everything coated with sticky brown goodness. Superb with your pizza supper.

With you also on choice at English chippies, but why do they sell so little stuff? Where are the paracetomols and cigarettes?

Ketchup with nothing, tartare sauce with everything brown doesn't go with (not much though).

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 17 November 2003 11:14 (twenty-one years ago)

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