Aztec Human Sacrifice - Classic or Dud?

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A necessary (if bloody) process to placate the capricious intent of the god Quetzalcoatl? Or bit of a laugh, innit?

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Id like to placate Quetzacoatl every monday morning. Starting with the jackoffs in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot preventing my speedy acquisition of my morning coffee.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Being the priest == Classic.
Being the sacrificial victim == Dud.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

The list would run on and on in my case.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Stating the bleeding obvious == sigh.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

< Queue scene resembling the "Beastmaster". >

That would be sweet. Just imagine standing on a mountain with a beating heart in your hand as an eagle screaches over you.

< /Queue scene resembling the "Beastmaster". >

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The barbarity of the sacrifices gave Cortes the justification to introduce catholicism into Mexico. In the next thirty years, between 70 and 80 % of the population died of diseases imported from Europe.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

mainly syphilis most likely.

― chris (chris), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Take that, Quetzacoatl.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

There are those who posit that some of the Aztec power structures were on their way out anyway, since you can't really have a sustainable culture based on lopping off peoples' heads, hearts, etc.

also, they shoulda watched out for the ass herpes.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

a lesson for us all.

― typo acapulco (gcannon), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Savages.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:31 (twenty-one years ago)

...you can't really have a sustainable culture based on lopping off peoples' heads, hearts, etc.

House of Saud, pay attention!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The Aztecs were a very paranoid people. There belief system revolved around cycles (with two interlocking calendars creating a 52 year grand cycle) that signalled a significant upheaval in their way of life. Hernan Cortes arrived (unknowingly) during one of these cycles.

Another integral part of the beliefe structure was that Quetzalcoatl would return one day from the east.

These events and a hesitant leader in Montezuma II, gave the Spanish the initial upper hand. Combine that with their weaponry and horses (which the Aztecs had never seen) and the seeds were sown. Herpes accounted for many thousands, as did TB, smallpox and lesser diseases like the common cold.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Quetzacoatl could be a pro wrestler.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, I said Herpes, I should have said Cock Rash.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood
straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:47 (twenty-one years ago)

The serious question is should agents of Western culture intervene to stop what it regards as barbaric customs, or should various tribes be left alone to deal out justice, religious customs etc. as they see fit? See, for example, certain Australian aboriginal tribes which still practise spearing as a punishment

― Jonathan Z., Monday, 17 November 2003 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Quetzacoatl could be a pro wrestler.

I don't know, it's not an easy name to yell when introducing. "Now, coming to the ring...KEEEET ZOOOOOHL KOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAHHH TUUUUUUUHL!!!!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Point made.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks, Teeny, verse 2 went:

And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood
straight and strong
The Spanish came and knobbed our girls
Who caught diseases from their dongs

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Marshall Sahlins to thread.

― alext (alext), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

That would be against prime directive #17.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know, it's not an easy name to yell when introducing. "Now, coming to the ring...KEEEET ZOOOOOHL KOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAHHH TUUUUUUUHL!!!!"
Quetzacoatl: (Grabs microphone from announcers hand) "Yeeeaaaahhhhssssss, I heard what you've been ssssssayin' Loki. I've heard every word. And when RAWgnarok Sssssummer Ssssslam XXVI rollsssss around, I ssssshall be avenged. I'm comin' for you, Loki. I'm comin' for you."
(Flexes hard. Snarls into camera and flicks his forked tongue out.)
Announcer: "Well, you've heard it here, fans. The Big Q is not amused. And i think Loki will have a tough time of it, next Saturday."
Color Commentator: "That he will, Gorilla Monsoon, that he will. And to respond we have Loki, Live in the locker rooms."
(cut to locker room filled with shiny magickal gold objects and a disgruntled Norse God of Mischeif.)
Loki: "Quetzacoatl is a punk ass bitch and he's gonna get a smackdown. "
Color Commentator: "Oh ho ho! Harsh Words! Back to you, Gorilla Monsoon!"

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Rumble in the jungle...

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.antville.org/img/genfrei/parka.jpg

What Would La Parka Do?

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Pachamama would be a good grudge opponent.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:35 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

A lot of jokes made in this thread.

― dan p, Sunday, 23 October 2005 17:31 (nineteen years ago)

i am of the thinking thaat return to the ancient ways is warranteed. that way, the Evil One shall return in a blaze of cold freezing fire and hot icy death. the pagan ways justified in bloddy battles. some nights as i wander the tundra i feel the cold hate fill through my blood veins and i am rest assured that battles begin anew tomorrow. hail Nightspirit!

― Mr. Vas Djifrens (byzantum), Sunday, 23 October 2005 17:41 (nineteen years ago)

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