How to stop feeling scared when something happens to threaten your sense of security in your own home

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On Saturday someone chased M down our street and proceeded to stand outside the house yelling death threats and abuse and saying that he knew where we lived and we'd have to come out eventually and then he'd kill us. We have no idea who he was or what M had done to offend him.

After we got off the phone with the police (not that they cd do anything of course) he'd already gone. And we've seen and heard nothing since (spent Saturday night at my parents just in case). I'm sure he was just a nutter - there are plenty of them in our area. But emotionally it's a different story. I've been too terrified to sleep so that now I can barely function, feel jumpy and sick at every strange noise, and basically just don't feel safe in my own house any more.

I'd rather not feel like this. What to do?

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Have been unsettled in my house before. I could think of nothing to do, but it did ease after a while. Sorry I know this is of no help. I hope someone manages to come up with something for you.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Calling the police was a good move. Being more aware of your personal security is also a good thing.

Depending on the housing market and how attached you are to your current location mixed in with how much this is upsetting you, you might want to consider moving. Many will say that that is an overreaction and they would be right, but it's still an option.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Get on a train and come out drinking tonight. It will help, I promise.

*big hugs* sweetheart.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

God Archel I'm sorry, wish I could think of instant advice but nothing springs to mind. Prolly was just a lunatic though, if he was gonna do anything it'd be done by now - dangerous people don't tend to tell you the mental things they're about to do, they just do 'em!

― smee (smee), Monday, 17 November 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Archel my next door neighbor/friend was broken into three times in one month. They never could figure out how the people were getting in but it unnerved him. He's moving now. :(

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:00 (twenty-one years ago)

*big hugs* btw!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Have you asked Matt *why* he was being chased? If the answer is an honest "I've no idea" then you're almost certainly safe. But if he *did* happen to aggravate a psycho in some way, that'd be different.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Thanks everyone, I will be ok soon I hope. What smee says is what I've been telling myself and M, that he would have murdered us in our beds already if he was going to. We have only just moved there and I will NOT be forced out. But it sucks. Also I know that the flat was burgled once before we moved in which doesn't help.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

No, he really didn't do anything. Hadn't spoken to anyone on the way home. Though there are always some dodgy guys round the bus stop and one of them may have said something as he passed but he doesn't know, and ignored it, because well, you do. He was running as he came to our road, since he was in a hurry. That in itself can wind someone up maybe?

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Buy a handgun.

You sure it wasn't Magnus trying to get you for all the nasty things you said about Stephen Fry?

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Pete OTM

― enrique (Enrique), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

perhaps a home security system? or resignation ot the fact that if there really is someone trying to kill you , you can't really be vigilant at all times, and you might as well just live.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Given that we only rent the flat we won't really be investing in an alarm system. However I am going to get on to the letting agency because the shared front door is not secure at all. Otherwise, I do feel (mostly) that I might as well just live, as hey, the world is not a safe place whatever you do.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Eep! Echoing the above, I hope all stays well and that this was just some stupid one-off.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The only thing that's kept me relatively unruffled when this sort of thing happens is that it has been random in my case...nobody singling me out like they did you! So yes, good luck and keep the authorities and your landlord abreast of things. Document your correspondence; you never know when that might come in handy.

Last Saturday night a guy was shot dead in the front lawn of the house across the street from me! I slept through the whole thing, cops and all, but a friend/neighbor was trying to break up the fight and was right next to the victim when he was shot.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:30 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG teeny that's horrible!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Horrible.

Another bad thing is that M usually works until 9pm, so he's home latish, in the dark... and I'm alone in the house. God, it's stupid but I can't imagine ever NOT being scared at the moment.

(xpost)

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Archie, it is clear that it was a one-off drunk/loon - you really mustn't let yourself get scared. A security review is probably a good idea, though, and will make you feel better.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:37 (twenty-one years ago)

markelby is otm.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I know. Thank you :)

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Just keep all the lights on & the windows & doors locked until matt gets home.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Fortunately he is not working tonight so we can reassure each other. I think cooking chilli and playing very loud music will banish some fear...

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

*nods*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 17 November 2003 16:47 (twenty-one years ago)

aw Archel, I'm sure it is a random nutter who has forgotten all about Matt and your home by now. I do understand worrying a bit now, but I'm sure you don't need to and the fear will fade soon.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 17 November 2003 21:14 (twenty-one years ago)

fourteen years pass...

So someone broke in through my front door last week and stole my computer. I'm thinking now of installing:

1. a front-door security gate
2. indoor cameras

What are people's opinions of one or the other?

― Martin Landau Ballet (Leee), Thursday, 28 June 2018 20:26 (seven years ago)

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