FAP - Provo, Utah!!!

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Rockin' it.

― Provo Lurker, Monday, 17 November 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll be there.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i suspect it will be better than most other faps.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

for instance: only one ilx'er.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Count me in.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

(dude)

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Provo, eh? Do we even have any utah ilxors?

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Can one even get a pint in Utah?

― Mandee (Jerrynipper), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

If not, then fuck that.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

This thread had no chance at all, did it?

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:35 (twenty-two years ago)

is this far from the Bonneville Salt Flats? If it's nearby maybe a stab at the world landspeed record might be on the cards while we're about it.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 17 November 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

There will be a FAP in Moose Jaw before one in Provo, I suspect.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

From the "FAP - Provo, Utah" thread:

i suspect it will be better than most other faps.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 17th, 2003.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

for instance: only one ilx'er.
-- fiddo centington (dubplatestyl...), November 17th, 2003.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

If lurkers can FAP all by their lonesomes then I fear for this world.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 17 November 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The thing is, I'm pretty afraid of running into about 47 different people I know if I ever set foot in Utah cos I'm pretty sure they all ended up going to Brigham Young and quite frankly I'm not ready to see any of those people ever again.

― Allyzay, Monday, 17 November 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

ive always wanted to go to a gay bar in slc.

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

You want to see the special underwear?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

mormons have special underwear??

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Er, yeah. You don't know about this?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

i also dont know how to cook beans :(

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i have gone to a gay bar in salt lake, i ended up leaving with a very nice gentleman, who took me back to his place and played me records of the mormon tabernacle choir while offering me kool aid and rice krispie sqaures.

― anthony easton (anthony), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

oh my god, awesome!!!!

― phil-two (phil-two), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

If you think that is more awesome than the train experience then I think you are ready for the Mormons.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

The underwear thing is true. As is the secret name thing (you are told your secret name when you get married. The husband uses it to call his wife to the planet they will rule in the afterlife if they are good mormons. I am not making this up).

Little known quincie fact: I lived in Provo for a number of year. My brother and I integrated our school system (we were the only non-mormons). I stood out because 99.99% of mormons are blond and I have dark brown hair. Some kids were not allowed to play over at our house because we drank the Demon Coke and the Demon Coffee and, god forbid, the Super-Ultra Demon Beer.

― quincie, Monday, 17 November 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

make it salt lake city, and then we might be getting somewhere

― charltonlido (gareth), Monday, 17 November 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew a lot of non-blonde Mormon kids back home. Many were my friends.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 17 November 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I might go to Salt Lake City over Xmas if I don't go to New York, so let's do it!

I LUV the gay bars of Salt Lake, even though I didn't get as lucky as Anthony. The lapsed Mormons really know how to have a good time!

I remember going through the underwear section at the Deseret thriftshops in SLC looking for some kind of witchy Mormon symbol, but no such luck. What does the special underwear actually look like? I remember I asked Anthony E. this on a thread about 8 million years ago, but I never got a response.

Which reminds me--hi, Anthony! I'm in Connecticut at my mom's house for the next week, I'll try to send you a loooonnnngggg e-mail in the next couple of days.

― Arthur (Arthur), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 02:16 (twenty-two years ago)

(Wanna hook up in New Haven, Arthur?)

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 03:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi, Mary! Maybe--I'm not sure how long I'm going to be helping my mom out with her move. And I kinda get the feeling she'd like me to stick around in the new house a few days. It's a big deal for her as she lived in this house for about 40 years. Not that big a deal, though, 'cause the new place is just five houses down the street! Anyway, if not New Haven, then NYC! Gareth went back to London, right?

― Arthur (Arthur), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 03:09 (twenty-two years ago)

He's in London now, but he'll back in NYC around Dec. 12 I think. Okay, have a safe trip and give us a shout out if you have any time to hang out.

― Mary (Mary), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 03:19 (twenty-two years ago)

it is a knee length boxer/t shirt thing in white cotton, with a sacred symbol above the heart on left breast and another one on the other side. there is a difficult trap door near the crotch so you do not touch yr penis an inordionate(sp) amount. As Well there is an opening at the navel, meant to remind people of punishments if vows are broken it is worn with a green apron.

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Mexican Hat, Utah.

The hat near the "town"...

http://www.rjsmith.com/images/san_juan_river/r02-mexican-hat-from-river.jpg

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 05:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Do all Mormons wear this "special underwear"? Or is this a total B.S. type of thing? I am extremely curious, because if that's the case, I don't know if I will be able to think of this mother-daughter pair whom I'm friends with in the same manner again. Both Mom and daughter love Duran and, get this, The Cure. Yeah, dig it -- a mother-daughter Mormon Cure-phile duo. Let your minds boggle, darlings.

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, dig it -- a mother-daughter Mormon Cure-phile duo

Where's Dan when we need him?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 06:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I suspected you'd say that, Ned. ;)

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 06:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Now Quincie, lemme ask you a question -- about how many of your friends in Provo, would you say, owned trampolines? (A long-standing theory of mine is riding on your answer.)

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 07:16 (twenty-two years ago)

they all do

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 08:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Are you speaking from experience, Anthony?

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 08:36 (twenty-two years ago)

yes

― anthony easton (anthony), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 09:01 (twenty-two years ago)

haha dee, I knew plenty of Cure-lovin' Mormons in high school. I even fooled around with one! Unsurprisingly, she was not wearing the special underwear. ;)

― teeny (teeny), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:30 (twenty-two years ago)

John Anderson, "Jump On It"

Granny's on the front porch spittin' in a cup
Trying to fix a nightgown, that the dog tore up
Mama's old clothesline had finally bit the dust
Brother got a broomstick, and propped it back up
We coulda had a dryer or a sewing machine
But Daddy went and bought us a trampoline...

(and) We jump on it every chance we get
Mama and Daddy and all us kids
We ain't got much, but we got this
And we jump on it

Brother does back flips with his eyes bugged out
Daddy says a back flip is what it's all about
The whole town is talkin'...They say it looks
Like some white trash circus has hit the neighborhood
We don't know what in the world they mean
Mama says they're jealous of our trampoline...

('cause) We jump on it every chance we get
Mama and Daddy and all us kids
We ain't got much, but we got this
And we jump on it

Daddy says life is such a crazy mess
You've gotta jump on your chances for some happiness
We all see what Daddy means
From way up here on this trampoline...

(and) We jump on it every chance we get
Mama and Daddy and all us kids
We ain't got much, but we got this
And we jump on it
We jump on it every chance we get
Mama and Daddy and all us kids
We ain't got much, but we got this
And we jump on it
We ain't got much, but we got this
And we jump on it.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Trampolines! Yes! They are everywhere! When I wasn't playing Mormon baptism with the neighbor kids (again, I am not making this up) I was watching them jump on one of the dozens of trampolines in the 'hood. I had to watch because my mom disallowed my brother and I from touching them after she saw some T.V. show about some woman who fell off a trampoline and broke her neck and spent the rest of her life a quadraplegic. In the ultimate of ironies, my brother later broke his back falling out a window onto a wheelchair ramp railing and is now paraplegic. Again, I am not making this up.

― quincie, Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:00 (twenty-two years ago)

FUCK THE PROVOS

― [Dirty Vicar is out of the office], Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:02 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.