"must be able to multi-task in a fast paced enviornment"

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FUCK OFF

― jameslucasakarroland (jameslucasakarroland), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

OK!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"your new part-time job was once done by three full-time staffers"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

It's an encouraging sign in that it means they can't really think of any qualifications you need.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, fuck off indeed!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:39 (twenty-two years ago)

hey james, i think you need to think a little more proactively about this ;)

― CarsmileSteve (CarsmileSteve), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I can multi-task. I can read/post to ILE *and* recconcile statements *and* pretend I'm listening to my boss's rambling stories about male sex workers, all at once!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

My brain is constantly involuntarily multi-tasking a variety of things that do not even exist.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Multi-task" = ilxor.com, e-mail and blogger open AT ONCE!!!

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"enviornment" = workplace full of simmering jealousy and resentment.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

is spelling a job requirement?

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

nope.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

nepo.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:22 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fast paced" = caffeine addled.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"enviornment" actually means coveting tiny porcelain cats.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

to imagineer the solution we must think outside the box and not be afraid to move the goalposts and ostensibly change the game if need be

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

an old boss of mine actually did say things like that, in between saying 'bollocks' and 'you're fired'

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I think it's funny when you're interviewing for a job and they keep start out with the old, "You must be able to multi-task in this position, as we're very fast paced here..." and by the end they are like, "You will get extremely stressed out at this job. You'll have to come in early, stay late, and vacations are few and far between."

They might as well say, "You will hate this job and want to die after being here a few years, just like we do."

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah but they have to say that - the slackest jobs I've ever had have given me those lines. They're thinking "My god what if this person ACTUALLY IS the driven ambitious superhuman genius they're claiming to be? We'd better try and sound like professionals not a bunch of hopeless chancers."

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate the first week of a job when they always say "how are you finding things? Well, it's going to get much, much worse..."!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:04 (twenty-two years ago)

jobs fucking suck, don't they? luckily, no one will give me one.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:20 (twenty-two years ago)

But I thought you were going to become some kind of zen feng-shui master!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

The temp job I am doing right now is pretty good.

I wonder how much I earned writing that sentence?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:22 (twenty-two years ago)

last temp job I worked didn't even involve a computer. WTF is up with that?

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:25 (twenty-two years ago)

in assessing how cool my job is one should take into account my posting count on ILX over the last 6 weeks

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah-how is it, Steve?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"jobs fucking suck, don't they? luckily, no one will give me one."

~~Momus~~Oops sums up my life in one scarily accurate sentence.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Even worse is that "needs to be a team-player" shit they tack on at the end, regardless of the sort of job, and then follow it with "must be able to work independently, a SELF-STARTER." Yes, I am going to be this data-entry temp, but I need to play fairly with all the other computers, and must remember to start on my own, without anyone pushing my on key

― Vic (Vic), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I am the complete antithesis of a "team-player".

What the flip is up with Americans and those "personality test" things? I have done so many of them since I've been here!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha the company I work for gives those things, along with aptitude tests and more in-depth exercises. That's what I do!

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

it's pretty cool adam ta

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

my company doesn't want people with personality

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 17:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, a couple of our clients don't hire people who score high on friendliness.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

What's the secret, Nick? I always go for Agree or Disagree rather than TOTALLY AGREE and TOTALLY DISAGREE. Is that the way to go?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:00 (twenty-two years ago)

They always tell you to "answer honestly", and that there's no "right or wrong". How dumb do I look?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

when I was 16, I failed the personality test to work at K-Fried

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:01 (twenty-two years ago)

You know what pisses me off? Multi-tasking is required if you're a measly employee (raises hand) and yet those in charge are so friggin helpless, they can't breathe and think at the same goddamn time. Cracks me up, it does. And then I cry.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

I think the boss (the big boss, the boss of bosses, answerable only to those at corporate HQ in Bryantown) called me "dearie" this morning.
I have no idea what he actually DOES.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't wait until all the baby boomers retire so we can have the cushy sit-on-your-ass-and-do-nothing-while-making-100K jobs.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20031117/D7USJDDO0.html

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:16 (twenty-two years ago)

also must pass a credit check...WTFey?

Jeanne Fury...they are reclining on our backs

― Vacillating temp (Vacillating temp), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, I was at lunch. Unfortunately, there's no real trick to the personality tests. Obviously, you want to come across as hardworking, friendly, etc. But it's best to be pretty honest and not really think about your answers too much, just go with your first instinct. If you do want to try and "cheat," be warned: some personality tests have a falsification measure that can supposedly tell if you are answering dishonestly. The way my boss explained it, there are questions like "Do you ever daydream on the job?" where the cheater will answer "no" because they see it as negative. But realistically, everyone at some point will daydream on the job, so if you say "no" it's a mark against your honesty. If you collect a bunch of these (on the test we use, they are much more lenient towards women than men for some reason), you are seen as consciously or unconsciously dishonest.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

That's absolutely ridiculous. I don't daydream, I post to ILX.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

WTF? At my job I barely have time to breathe, let alone daydream. Fuckheadz.

― Kim (Kim), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

man, Freddy Beeswax was right, you're all so NOT "professional."

― hstencil, Tuesday, 18 November 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

kidding, of course.

― hstencil, Tuesday, 18 November 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

kidding, of course.

Oh, hstencil, you are SO immature.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 18 November 2003 20:12 (twenty-two years ago)

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