Jury Duty Dilemna!!!! HELP HELP HELP!

Well, I didn't expect to be dangled precariously over the gaping jaws of a two-month case. Normally it's just a week-long jobee and that's that. The timing for this, however, is completely poor and a two-month stint is just completely unacceptable right now.

And, in any case, they always find me. And they follow up.

go to jury duty, be a good citizen, it will be a lesson for the future kid.

But them not being considerate of your Mrs being with kid just plain sucks.

Okay, how about I give them yours and Felicity's addresses and tell them to call you, then? That sound good?

go to jury duty, be a good citizen, it will be a lesson for the future kid.

I'm at jury duty. I'm being a good citizen. I'd happily serve on a more conventional case. Two months, however, is something I cannot do in good conscience.

I can screen print you a t-shirt that says "My Other Car is a Vagina" with a pic of Mr. T on it.

I do not know what this means but I just read the what do you drive thread and that was worse than jury duty.

Hear hear! (I've been called...four times now? Sounds right.)

Try and figure out what work you can do around the trial. In the UK you're only in court for 5 hours or so per day - if falling behind at work is a worry you should still have time to keep up with some stuff.

Otherwise, it's your duty. I'm sorry.

in NJ, it used to be that lawyers were automatically exempt from JD. NO MORE! i'm a worse citizen than either gabb or felicity HAW!

i want to be on a jury w.momus

judge: "have you reached a verdict yet?"
foreman: "don't be silly, m'lud"

1) no i've NEVER used drugs and i think people that do are EVIL
2) no i've NEVER known a person that's been arrested and i think people who are arrested are EVIL
3) i think drunk drivers SHOULD BE SHOT

that should cover all the bases for most criminal trials but i don't know what to tell you if it's a civil trial... maybe

4) i tend to side STRONGLY with the prosecution NO MATTER WHAT THE FACTS

a) Have gone to college (preferably with a master's degree, but bachelors is fine.)
b) Make sure you ASK a lot of questions about WHAT exactly the lawyers mean when they say can you be fair about something (this really helps if the case is business related, it can harder to pull off if it's murder.) Example: Q: "Do you blame the general failings of the economy on the actions of individuals?" A: "You mean other than the president of the United States."
c) Be generally snarky and seem unpredictable. Make numerous references (loud enough for the lawyers and plaintiff/defendants and fellow jurors to hear, but not for the judge) to scrapping the whole awards process and instead forcing the defendant to throw a picnic in the park for the plaintiff as a judgement.
d) Don't claim to be racist. Don't refuse to answer questions. ESPECIALLY don't claim to have ANY specific knowledge ("I am a tax attorney and uh I would be biased to the defendant" bought one guy two weeks of being FOREMAN the last time I was called for regular jury duty) of the case in question. THIS does not disqualify you EVEN if you try to pretend that this knowledge impairs you impartiality. It just makes you look stupid and the LAWYERS want stupid people.

Have fun and good luck.

Can you plead being a new parent? Who'd want to miss 4 months of being with their new baby, to get cold coffee in the morning and a rock-hard bed?

Uh, and Sarah Silverman to thread!

blount and alex on same jury =
judge: "have you reached a verdict yet?"
foreman: *rolls eyes disgustedly*
*far-off sound of furniture being smashed against bone*

I I got called up again I'd go as civic duty n'all, but Alex in NYC has the best reasons for avoiding it I can think of.

(though it's not like I haven't gotten out of two cases in NYC in my time, because they would have interfered with school; now I wish I could have seen a jury operate)

Moreover, we didn't START until 10am. Why didn't they ask us to be there earlier? The lack of consideration is completely appalling.

Because judges just sit around all day. They don't have any work to do.

I think if they made a better effort to compensate jury duty (ie either compulsory full-day pay from the govt or forcing person's employer to do same)

I believe in NYC you get paid a certain amount (not large) a day, whether or not you are sat on a jury. There may also be a financial hardship out.

Yes, little old ladies and the unemployed are all stupid or corrupt, I've noticed.

whether or not they are stupid or corrupt, they are unrepresentative.

You live in Cobb County? Like, right outside Atlanta?

my heart goes out to alex ... think jaz coleman thoughts while yer waiting in the jury pool.

run, alex, RUN.

For a start, I've seen the jury system operate. I've been on more juries than you've had hot fuckin' dinners. And I think my reason for wanting to be sprung (a pregnant wife) trumps your reason (school interference) every damn day of the week!

I think if they made a better effort to compensate jury duty (ie either compulsory full-day pay from the govt or forcing person's employer to do same)...I believe in NYC you get paid a certain amount (not large) a day, whether or not you are sat on a jury. There may also be a financial hardship out.

My reasons for not wanting to serve have never been about money. I'm paid by my employer. My freelancing gigs will be hurt, but it's not about money at all.

After yet another agonizing morning of waiting around and countless instances of inefficent shenanigans, they finally got around to the second batch of prospective jurors (self included therein). When they got to me, they practically imediately conceded (I guess my constant fidgeting, glaring and fang-baring gave them the clue), and I was released. Two of the twenty (!!!) lawyers came up to me as we broke for lunch (after I'd been excused) and expressed their apologies, admitting that when they'd heard I had a pregnant wife, they expected I'd be a reluctant juror and blah blah blah... They were perfectly nice about it, truthfully, but by then I was so relieved that they could've been speaking in Klingon for all I was absorbing. I tell ya, after being so tense and angry and anxiety-ridden for the last three days, I feel positively hungover.

Anyway, that's that. Thanks to everyone's advice and support.

(my back-up plan wz you shd print out ilx threads and read them out doing all the voices)

http://members.aol.com/motelhell/KJ-Webster-Hall-2003/images/JazRaven2.jpg

No, it's pretty hysterical. ILX Theatre would be pretty fantastic.

Here's my New York juror story:

My summons came in spring 2002 to serve jury duty at the Supreme Court in downtown Brooklyn. "Supreme Court" sounds like hot shit (not that it would affect my hatred of civic obligation) but in New York-- gotcha-- it's the court in which trial cases are first heard. After a Lionel Hutz-narrated orientation to your duty as a juror, with what I think was a musical number, hundreds of average drips took our seats on the hard benches. Morning, day two: I was called into a 50-person pool for voir dire on what was evidently a serious assault case. For a day and a half, we were kept STANDING in a hallway upstairs while a plea was worked out. Every time the door to the empanelling room opened, dozens of frustrated potential jurors, driven mad by aching legs and in a kind of shock from the inhuman interior design, looked at whoever came out like they wanted to take a rock hammer to some skulls. A young guy who looked to be the defendant was brought in and out in front of this hate chorale, and after a few iterations gave up on his jury trial. So we were free to eat at Juniors or whatever, fuck yeah.

I suppose three days split evenly between the waiting rooms and STANDING in a hallway beats a potential two month trial, but neither fills me with any desire to serve on a jury. But HStencil: it was made clear that volunteering for jury service is a-okay, if you're really all that bored.

I was about to say!

Alex, truly glad you were able to get out of jury duty. They should've let you off the hook from the get go, what with your pregnant wife situation and all.

My dad was called to jury duty six months before he passed on, and he was able to get out of it by just sending in a doctor's notice that he was quite ill, so he wouldn't be able to serve. It worked.

I've never YET been called to jury duty, but hopefully if that day ever comes I'll know how to get out of it. (Unless I can actually handle it, that is.)

I didn't show up for jury duty. But I incurred an injury and had to be hospitalized for (minor) surgery! Will I be forgiven?