Lost Friends

I would go to one for my primary school though. That could be fun.

This is better than a school reunion because it's with the big kids!!!

whatever happened to Toraneko?

She's a lost friend! Quick, google her!

She was miele kitty for a while but I havent seen her around in some time. I met her once! At one of Jim's band's gigs. She was a lovely gal.

I always wonder about high-achieving school mates who I can't find on Google. I always imagine they descended into meth addiction or something.

It's funny how those schoolday stars melt away and nobodies like me become world famous.

I've lost track of a friend I made when I was backpacking years ago. We kept in contact until last year when I swapped through multiple jobs and email addresses and somehow managed to lose hers. I feel really sad about it... I can't find her in google either.

I've learned that my old friends have some really common names.

A great many of the friends I have now I've had for 15 years or so. I can't get rid of them!

There was this girl. Cynthia. Cyn. From Yemen. She and I and another friend smoked too many cigarettes and stood on tables at all night cafes practicing our poems and generally didn't notice that there was a triangular tension between us because we were too busy having fun.

After I met her she started using heroin. We tried hard to get her to stop. She lost weight. Met a guy who had been addicted and kicked the habit, so we thought he was an okay guy. Maybe he could help.

He got addicted again. And then he was helping her tie off. The last time I saw her she had lost nearly 50 pounds and was completely gone. No recognition in her eyes when she looked at me.

Four months later, the day I was leaving town, she called me. She said she'd moved out of junkie boyfriend's place, said she was staying with her mom. She sounded happy. She said she'd call me. Then the number was disconnected. That was three years ago.

I went to a wedding this weekend and saw old friends who know (knew?) her. They say that after I left "she just dropped off the face of the earth."

I miss her. I hope she's still breathing.

Oh geez stories like that are so sad. I've a few friends who were heading down bad paths and then disappeared and I wondered what happened. No updates. I've also had updates on a few who I hadn't really wondered about, but on reflection were in a bad way, when I heard they'd OD'ed or similar. It's weird when you hear such a story about say, an old workmate or friend from an old scene, and you think "sadly that isnt so much of a suprise" and don't know how to feel.

I hope yr friend is ok Hoos.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11321282

OH LOOK SOME FOOLPROOF SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH SORRY IF IT GOT LINKED ALREADY

It wasn't that long ago that women were expected to stop hanging out with their friends after they got married.

I have a long lost friend I am trying to find. It's crazy how hard it is to find people if they have a common name!

I have searched facebook, googled, done background checks, poured through ancient emails, looked for old letters - the whole shebang. All my leads send me down dead ends.

It's very frustrating.

I never feel like I have friends, and yet I constantly feel that I'm losing them. How can you lose something that didn't exist?

facebook has so much to freaking answer for

Ha, not for me. The above has been a thing since the age of 12.

I discovered my best friend from primary school has a husband called DEON.

no I didn't mean for the feeling of losing friends! I mean for muddying what is a friend and the ease of contact one must experience to keep the flames burning. I'm losing 'friends' all the time but they're not friends really - I keep my friends.

The alternative is to have a last name that's so unusual that you stick out everywhere online you go.

and by 'losing 'friends'' I don't mean 'losing as Facebook friends' because they're inevitably going to still be my Facebook friend in a year's time. they won't remotely be a friend though - they'll have passed from my regular consciousness and I will not want to confide in them

Christine I thought that was a pseudonym?

I have a hard time keeping track with relatives, let alone friends. I have about five people that I owe emails to.

I think I have difficulty because I consider someone a friend if I really care about them, but it doesn't matter so much whether they care about me. Mainly because I'm an insufferable prick, and so not liking me is the rational thing to do. But I try to give people reasons to stick around.

Christine I thought that was a pseudonym?

It is--only about 200-300 people in the world have my real last name, and most of the people who have my real first name are ten years or more younger than me.

Most of the friends I've had have been situational--classmates and the like. I don't think I've had anything like a conventional BFF since high school.

I recently ranked my friends. I did so to what I thought was my new girlfriend (well, she was, for 3 fucken days) and I was able to take about 6 and order them. B, C, V, I, G and W. I don't even see W particularly often although he and I are going on a long walk this Friday. I don't see I or G that often either. Of course there's about 600 people I could meet and pick up where we left off and a further 6 billion people I'd speak to for 10 minutes and it'd be like we'd known each other all our lives but this isn't friendship, it's blagging. It's projection. The older I get the more I realise how few and far between are people who understand me and whom I really engage with. And the more I realise that these people could come from ANYWHERE.

emil.y you have an occasionally forthright style sure but I'm pretty sure that's one of the reasons your friends like you :D

I kinda feel bad that I went through uni and only ended up with two best friends. but they are my bestest friends in the whole world so.

3 of mine were from uni, which is pretty fucking astonishing given how barren uni was - all of them were definitely rogue elements within the system though. 2 from school and 1 from (lol) a cricket messageboard

otoh I really hate people for whom it seems like every new friend they make is their bestest friend ever. smh

hahaha I'd like to state that all of those friendships predate ILX but really only the two school ones do

one day there will be ILXors in my top 6, consider yourselves in competition

I just don't know what to believe any more. It's easy to just believe that people like you, but then you hang out with people and they just bitch about their friends all the time. So, hey, I'm one of your friends, do you do this to me? I'm probably one of the worst people to be friends with, so even when nice people do the good friend thing, it's probably because they either think I'm completely unstable and will majorly freak out if they don't (I probably wouldn't. But you know, I am that shit that I see why people would believe that of me), or that they want to see my boyfriend or whoever else is out at the same time. Ugh.

tush, emil.y - you seem like a rad person to hang out w/ and not a conduit through which others can be reached. although you have GOT to get me hooked up w/ yr awesome poet friends at some point ;)

btw I am more likely to eulogise absent friends in ciceronian address than bitch

Let's see...P's family moved away, and I'm not sure if she'd remember me as anything more than the little girl who tagged along with her everywhere (she was 5-7 years older than me). Anyway, I haven't seen her since I was nine. B was a relative, the closest friend I've ever had. We drifted apart due to a foolish bit of sexual experimentation, and I haven't seen him since I was 20. J was a friend with benefits--my husband and I had threesomes with him on occasion. He moved away. W was another friend with benefits--an off and on girlfriend of J. She moved somewhere else. That's it as far as close RL friends for me. Oh, and of course I count all of you as my friends. I share LJ's desire to someday have some of you in the close friends list.

although you have GOT to get me hooked up w/ yr awesome poet friends at some point ;)

Ha, you're just another one of THEM! No, I don't know, I feel like I'm getting increasingly dull, but then I remember that I've always felt this way, and then I get confused about if it's just depression or if I really have always been terrible, or if in fact I've been getting steadily worse. I dunno.

It's easy to just believe that people like you, but then you hang out with people and they just bitch about their friends all the time. So, hey, I'm one of your friends, do you do this to me?

This is my #1 least favorite thing. Especially if they're complaining about people I've never met & probably never will. It's not only terrible manners but it shows a real lack of imagination. I'm not above gossip or getting dishy or anything, but it's for people I'm pretty close with. Close enough with to know they also have *good* things to say about me behind my back. Not just the sole topic of every conversation! I think this is why mutual hobbies are good ways to make friends: if you run out of things to talk about you can always go back to BSing about your hobby. I guess maybe that's the hobby of these people, is talking shit.

pfft, people on ILX ain't dull - it's why I'm always here!

Ha, you're just another one of THEM! No, I don't know, I feel like I'm getting increasingly dull, but then I remember that I've always felt this way, and then I get confused about if it's just depression or if I really have always been terrible, or if in fact I've been getting steadily worse. I dunno.

I always feel like I always have to entertain my friends--clown around, initiate constant conversation, and the like--in order to hold their interest. I never feel like they would like me just being me.

Me just being me is usually me at a computer or drawing tbh so I feel the same way.

going biking at the weekend with the same three guys i was hanging out with in 1995. i dunno lj, any more than 3 'great' friends is being greedy imo.

I never feel like they would like me just being me

SO true :(

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nMs2_7qA2E

not really but good song that reminded me of this thread