How do you know if someone DOESN'T fancy you?

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In the pursuit of avoiding embarassment, this is surely the far more important question.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

They throw rotten eggs at you.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

They post Total Recall stills after all your posts.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

you're married to him/her.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

They close their eyes and hold their nose during conversation with you.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

jug. ice water. pants.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

this is difficult i think because many of the signs that mean someone doesn't fancy you could also just mean they are shy/nervous/whatever.

― ryan (ryan), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I was kinda wondering - what's up with aloofness? How can you tell when it's general aloofness and not planned playin'-"the-game" strategery on the part of the aloofer? And what signs should the aloofee watch out for?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

aloofers can screw right off

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

they fart during oral sex

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I would have thought farting during rimming or somesuch would be more the sign.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"I really don't like this guy! I'll just wait one moment and then..."

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

hold massive 100,000+ person rallies during your visit

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

They repeat every sentence you say in a "retarded voice".

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

They burn effigies of you.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

They say things like "I don't fancy you".

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

the daily buggerings seem less tender than they used to.

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

they press charges.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

You guys are so unhelpful.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:13 (twenty-two years ago)

they don't call you back
they make many excuses to not hang out with you
they seem disinterested when talking to you

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

They ask you for advice on anything. (serious this time)

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

They walk slightly ahead or behind you.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

they tell you they love but have sex with other people

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:19 (twenty-two years ago)

while you're in the room

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

doing her homework

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:20 (twenty-two years ago)

blocking your view of the TV

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

which is showing the homemade porn you made together

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Does homemade porn involve krazy glue, crayons and bits of cereal boxes?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:34 (twenty-two years ago)

only if you're doing it right

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:35 (twenty-two years ago)

they tell you they love but have sex with other people

I'd love to say OTM but actually sometimes people having sex with other people /= they aren't as in love with you as they say they are.

Sorry to derail the fun process you had going there.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:36 (twenty-two years ago)

preachin' to the choir, pastor!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

"you're so hot, and so smart, i just know you're going to have all kinds of girls after you. i'm serious, trust me."

― typo acapulco (gcannon), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:46 (twenty-two years ago)

That sounds like what someone says when they actually do like you but just don't want the bone.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:52 (twenty-two years ago)

nickalicious, between your "sleeping with other people" post here and your responses on the "Royally Fucked Up" thread, I'm sincerely worried about you.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, okay.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

You're displaying the mentality of every single boy I ever took advantage of and/or abused horribly. That's all I'm sayin'. Sorry to derail your, uh, fun process.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I honestly don't know how to respond to that Ally. I don't think any of the events of my life w/ re: 2 love has anything romantic-comedy-ish about it. I really don't understand. But, um, thanks, I guess.

x-post These have been SERIOUS posts! Based on things that have actually happened! WTF?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Life is too a romantic comedy. With guns.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth the killer to thread!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

you're ugly.

― athos magnani (Cozen), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

So was mine.

xpost!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

What I really fucking hate about "nu-ilx" is you try to have a discussion to try to understand what the hell someone else is talking about and it's completely impossible because every motherfucker in this bitch is a "comedian" these days.

No offense or anything.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Re: that one post up dere

FWIW, me & this girl were in love. I left town for 2 days with my band to play a show, came back, and she had had sex with 2 of my friends. I assumed this meant she didn't love me. I left her. I found out later I was wrong. We just lived too different lifestyles. Thus my comment on the "Royally" thread re: being in love /= being right for each other. I still love her, and she still loves me, however we accept now that we're not right for each other as partners.

I don't know, I guess one of the only things I've learned in the relationship arena of life is to not assume (anymore) what I think is what's going on actually IS what's going on. That probably makes no sense whatsoever.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

not to gape in shock at your heartache, but your were gone TWO days and she slept with TWO of your friends???

different lifestyles, no kidding. I mean, she has a different lifestyle from me. Not that I'm you, because I'm...uh...me.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

In my god-awful heart-demolishing experiences, I make it known that I fancy the person, and the say, "Wow I'm flattered." And that's it. Also, if they make no initiative whatsoever to hang out with you. But that might mean they just don't like you period.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally 2 nickalicious OTM

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Something funny from a blog I read every now and again:

poetry

one time you said
"you are beautiful but it's as if you don't even realize it"
then you said my hair smelled like pine
and i hated you
you said it reminded you of 'home'
i went there and it didn't smell like my hair
so shut up stupid.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Um, if you weren't already in an "open relationship" (ie you knew she was interested in other people and were specifically ok with it as in a couple poly relationships on this board), and she did that, then that is really fucked up. That's mentally abusive.

I'm not going to relate this to my own personal experience but my god, nick, the chances she loves you as anything beyond a friend (and even then she's a shit friend for doing that) is so miniscule, why would you even stand for that at all?

(xposts)

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Because she's one of the only people I've ever known who understood me? Because she was completely honest with me? I don't know how to explain it that it won't make you, um, feel sorry for me or whatever, we were in love! Sometimes things don't happen in ways that you can explain them without them sounding totally shitty. I dunno.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I think I see what might worry one, the gullability, the fact that I'm over-trusting. I was talking to one of my ex-bandmates about it last night and what he said was: "Nick, your problem is that you'd rather trust people unconditionally and get screwed than not be willing to trust people."

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 11 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

(I would agree with Ally again, but apparently it is verboten. I was bitching about nu-Ilx in general. I didn't dogpile on anyone.)

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, your problem is that you'd rather trust people unconditionally and get screwed than not be willing to trust people."

See, I could have said that before you but didn't because I didn't want to be mean. (But which is meaner?) I also could have said it like months ago, based solely upon what you post here.

Anyway, "trust" may not be the right word. And "we lose sight of everything when we have to keep/watching our backs." You should trust people, if you have a basis for doing so. But you shouldn't make assumptions based upon hope alone to reach that basis - "someone who does X must mean Y" - or not communicate if communicating matters to you.

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

sadly I have found
that growing that rhino skin
is necessary

trust is luxury
none of us can well afford
in the long run. word.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

gabbneb otm

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't trust anyone. It seems a hell of a lot safer. I am quite unhappy with this feeling, to be honest.

― ChrissieH (chrissie1068), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick my thoughts are that if she actually understood you she would have realized that fucking two of your friends while you were away would make you want to leave her. If she were actually honest with you, she would have done it while you were in town. Or mentioned it playfully to see how you would react, etc. And conversely, if you really understood HER, how could this have come as a surprise? "Trust," as gabbneb implies, isn't really the issue.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

It's all good y'all! I might've seemed a wee defensive or something up there, it's just...I shouldn't have even brought that whole event up, it's just way complicated, and not something I really feel entirely discussing in a public forum.

Anyway, shit, as Jon Spencer would say, "I'M A FULLL GUHROOOOOOWN MAAAAN-uh!". Worry not!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:41 (twenty-two years ago)

der her um "entirely comfortable discussing..." der her

Y'all prob'ly got that though.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:42 (twenty-two years ago)

some people just do shitty things to other people. it doesn't mean they don't love you or fancy you, it just means they are self-centred assholes who don't deserve you.

oops' answers are pretty straighforward and true.

― still here, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

not that i know enough about nickalicious' situation to talk about it.

― still here, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Well at least now we can cross "fucking two of your friends behind your back" off the list!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:00 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha ha ha ha I love you dude!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Okay, now I get that "coming across as a hippy" thing ha ha.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:03 (twenty-two years ago)

what a positive thread

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Ronan has never had anyone not fancy him.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha so far from the truth, if that's true then I am guesting on the Black album under the name "Irish Mick"

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

honestly tho, that happened to a friend of mine, her boyf had group sex with her friends (not me, ew) while she was out of town. she found out. i don't question that he loved her, he was nuts about her, but i will never understand what she liked about him.

― still here, Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

A classic one I had was "you remind me of my ex". UUUUUGH.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

That isn't necessarily bad, but it might warn of other problems.

― bnw (bnw), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had it said to me by more than one person, and started to think maybe I was a bit of a screwball and I just reminded people of their ex when they were breaking up with her and she was acting horrible.

Which was not a pleasant thought. So I thought "fuck that" and now I just don't let myself get totally attached to anyone. I say this even though I'm in a relationship.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 19 November 2003 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate it when everybody on ILX sucks and is fucking boring and pedantic and not funny

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 20 November 2003 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I love it when people bitch about ILX and act like they're better than everyone else.

― yeah yeah yeah, Thursday, 20 November 2003 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

OH GAWWWD my balls have fallen off and rolled into the gutter

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 20 November 2003 00:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I love Haikunym.

(and nickalicious)

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 20 November 2003 01:34 (twenty-two years ago)

thank fuck i've never reminded anyone of an ex. instead i am the standard to which all future significant others are compared.

― still here, Thursday, 20 November 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I second Sam's emotion in re: Haikunym and nickalicious.

Another indicator if someone REALLY doesn't fancy you: When they disappear from sight the first time you pop into view. Or when you can sense they're trying to avoid you.

Yet another indicator I'm all too familiar with? They take just a brief glimpse of you and then act as if you don't even exist. Ta-da. Yeah, thanks bud.

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 20 November 2003 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah for all my talk
my thick skin gets all shredded
once a week or more

but thanks sam and dee,
apparently texas chicks
understand this well.

even well into
exclusive relationships,
got to self-protect

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 20 November 2003 02:46 (twenty-two years ago)

you become nothing more than an old crutch,
something he or she will not even touch.
you become a giant sponge to fill up
with everything they spill from their broke cups.

― mr. iambic pentameter, Thursday, 20 November 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

the granite that you're taken for is cold
and dead the way you said you'd never be;
la vie quotidienne, laundry to fold,
lunches to make, the screams you don't set free

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 20 November 2003 03:30 (twenty-two years ago)

(the preceding is not necessarily the view of ILX, or the author. just riffin'. no resemblance is intended. any broadcast or unauthorized use of this quatrain is prohibited with the expressed written consent of the national football league.)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 20 November 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

there once was a board on the net
whose users would always forget
that it's all been said
we're fucked in the head
and why haven't I left it yet?

(just riffin' and mildly cranky)

― The Man From Nantucket (Anthony Miccio), Thursday, 20 November 2003 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i am nothing more the nice chauffeur
and I think that most would surely concur.
i am the cook and the chinese laundry.
I am the house boy for eternity.

― mr. iambic pentameter, Thursday, 20 November 2003 03:37 (twenty-two years ago)

she said scrabble was the cat's meow
but i surely do not know what to do now
with a handful of seven consonants
and not one vowel to make one tiny dent.

― mr. iambic pentameter, Thursday, 20 November 2003 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I know who you are.

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Alas, you did not
Exclaim that in haiku form,
Dearest Haikunym!

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yes, and Texas
Produces some amazing
Women -- that's for sure!

(What, is my bias
Showing too much? Heh. Texas
Pride becomes me, hon.)

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Texas Pride doesn't become any member of the human race

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Now, dear Tom, was that necessary?

― Pancakes For Breakfast! (Dee the Lurker), Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck you Tom. Besides, do you you think we give a shit what "the rest of the nation" thinks?

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:38 (twenty-two years ago)

it's at times like these that I wish I was a robot, too.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 20 November 2003 04:39 (twenty-two years ago)

its moments like these we need minties.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 20 November 2003 07:55 (twenty-two years ago)

look di is back!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 20 November 2003 09:01 (twenty-two years ago)

WHERE ARE THE CASTANETS

― TOMBOT, Thursday, 20 November 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

didn't Ally say she was gonna bring 'em?!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 20 November 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

In fairness you could make some makeshift ones in the meantime, Julio. Out of paper plates and dried beans. Just staple the plates together after putting some beans inbetween and then decorate with sparkle glue and streamers. This could be a major thing for you.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 20 November 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

A new signature.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 20 November 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio, owning the London free jazz scene with his homemade castanets! Archie Shepp would be proud!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 20 November 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

bah. that would be too much work ally.

I'd like to think albert ayler's ghost would be proud too nick.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Thursday, 20 November 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

The decisive answer:

1) You fancy a certain someone +
2) You are j.lu =
3) You can be sure that the certain someone doesn't fancy you.

They never even tell me that they think of me as a sister, perhaps because they are anticipating what would be my comeback: "One word...incest?"

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 20 November 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

all we need, now, is for dee to post again.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 20 November 2003 15:17 (twenty-two years ago)

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