Current Sports Presenters On The Telly: S/D C/D

I don't honestly care that much about any other sport, but doesn't ITV's main rugby commentator, John Taylor, sound almost exactly like ex-R1 DJ Mike Read? (Sadly not like the ex-comedian and Eastenders star, which would be much funnier.)

As long as the BBC still give us the same old theme tune. It was always a big thrill for me, the first time every season I heard it, and having missed it for years will increase that. I wouldn't be surprised if a tear comes to my eyes...

TACTICS TRUCK!!!

Think it's probably worth noting that the Beeb's rotating support cast of footy pundits do top ITV's - Schmeichel and Wright, for instance, are far superior to McCoist and Taylor. That said, due to them not having regular weekly football anymore, they can come a cropper every now and then - thinking particularly of Danny Mills' solitary MOTD appearance here.

Also, they seem to have got a lot of new presenters/roving reporters in lately, and the one they have for football - think he's called Phil Jones, or something like that - is dire, proper standard-issue BBC News automaton-in-fleece. I remember he used to be on CNN. He was shit there too.

It might even be the one area ITV one-ups the BBC - they've got Ned "New Gary Imlach" Boulting, who seems like quite an entertaining sort.

Crooks' special reports have an amusing familiarity to them. Camera focuses on a ball which is then kicked and he catches it in the middle of a butchers shop or something and says "A butchers? Not the place where most FA Cup runs begin.". Cut to non league player who is a butcher.

Not to mention the insufferable 'old boy network' smugness you always sense from the Beeb's punditry teams, whether it be the 80s Scouseland act of Lawro, Hansen and Reid or the insomnia cure ramblings of the Booze Culture Dream Team of Pallister, Robbo and (again) Reidy.

Ginger is the Zander of Soccer AM, it all revolves around him. He was fantastic this week. Paul Dalgleish was a guest this week, that was most interesting, he's completeely given up football and now runs an internet company.

"And they'll be dancing on the streets of Total Network Solutions tonight" may just be the best football joke ever tho

current favourites:

referee Gallagher

The weekly "Moscow" joke

Tubes' question

Stuck on the moon cds is ace too, just for highlighting just how craop footballers' music taste is. (Spencer Prior's was a scary list of death metal!)

"IAN BEEALE! RATATOUILLE!"

"did yow take the sloaw traain?"

I hate fun etc.

Lawro. jesus christ, do me a favour. Garth Crooks is too annoying. Drury was at his wanky worst this weekend, and mcCoist showed he knows cock all with his stuff on Bergkampf's flying fears; Big Ron stepped in to provide the knowledge required. Lynam is overrated. Lineker is too knowing. I like Stubbsy, as he's an enthusiastic puppy dog.

The only solution is to make me the presenter of such programmes.

to be fair to Soccer Am, they do give a fair amount of coverage to lower league footie, and the golden slip-on idea is a winner. (a golden slip-on is awarded to the player across all four English leagues who has the best goals per game average - I think last year David Connolly won it)

Save Chip was funny for a while

i like Crooksy and even Lawro. what annoyed me about football coverage this weekend was how everyone kept mentioning the rugby, as if desperate to latch on to someone else's glory - you made your choice, give it a rest!

gabby was a bit rubbish on the rugby, but then she was kind of only there because of her hubby, whereas she's top notch on the footy.

I wouldn't know her, then.

genius of a bloke "real Madrid is a beeeg cloob" he obviously went to Manchester uni or summat as the northern accent dropping in to his Spanglish is great.

Gerry Armstrong is great too - amazing depth of knowledge

As to the point a bit up there, I LIKE the old boys network of the BBC coverage. When you have all scousers on the go, its like listening to your dad and his mates chat when you were little - you KINDA get the jokes and the gags, but not really, and ti just adds to the wiseness of what they say.

It was during that competition in Brazil when Man Utd skipped the FA Cup to play. Raja Casablanca had a corner, it fell to someone outside the box, his shot hit the bar and rebounded down goalside of the line, but the referee didn't give a goal amid total disbeliefe from the players. Cut to Lineker in the studio,, "Poor old Casablance. Of all the bars in all the world..."