The lights and flash of award shows, action scenes in movies, watching bands play live, going on scary amusement park rides, getting a brand new computer, getting drunk with a bunch of old friends-- all these things leave me cold, with a placemarker in my heart and mind that says "insert fun/excitement emotion here".
Oh, I still like sex, don't get me wrong. That's almost biologically inescapable, but nowhere near like when I was a kid. In fact, a lot of times, I'll watch porn for a while and find I am daydreaming about work or things to do (as opposed to the other way around) or I'll think about sex for a good half hour prior to actually engaging in it and can't seem to excite myself into it all that much. It's not that I need viagra or something. I can still do it, I just don't care that much about it until I'm already midway into it or something.
I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that I've got problems. Who's with me?
― Nude Spock, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― Tom, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― Nude spock, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― dave q, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― mark s, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
Be dice man for a month then try to pick up the pieces?
― chris, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
i'm hoping this is just seasonal affective disorder, or subconscious terror of impending war or something. it's not like i'm seriously depressed, it's just a background fuzz of vague gloom... hmm. i'm also hoping it's not because i took Ecstacy about 10 times and my brain receptors have gone numb (the drugs don't work for me)
i suggest listening to Duran Duran though, that helped for a bit!
― katie, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― Richard Tunnicliffe, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
I'm so with you about that stuff. I've never experienced fun/excitement in relation to those sorts of things. I always suspected that no-one else did either but that they had been told that those things were fun so many times that they just believed that they were enjoying them when they weren't.
The things that gave me joy in the past were holograms and tropical fish.
The things that have given me joy recently have been chatting microwaves & bleached flour on ILE and debating racism with a friend's intelligent, opinionated brother. I love meeting people who realise that when you disagree with them you are not saying they are a bad person, they are getting harder and harder to come by though.
― toraneko, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― Maria, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― jel, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
I think that pleasures have to be active, not passive. Personally, I find pleasure in work. I love making music, and I love singing and showing off in front of people.
The last month or so has been pretty bad for me: I had to leave my girlfriend behind in Japan, I came back to New York after three months away and world war three broke out on my doorstep. On top of that, I fell out with my best friend here because I told her I didn't understand her work (ie I thought her painting was weak). My only consolation -- and it's a huge one -- is performing at CMJ and on the upcoming US tour with Stereo Total, which will be a genuine pleasure (apart from the unavoidable air travel).
― Momus, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)