I have a small bump on my lower eyelid

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It's painful, and every time I blink it hurts. I have to wear my glasses everywhere, and this makes me feel weird. Now, when I go into my new job tomorrow, people's first impression of me will be as "a glasses person" and then they will look at me all funny when I revert to wearing lenses again. What have I done to deserve this?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

what's wrong with being a glasses person?

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 24 November 2003 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

It's probably a wart.

― kirsten (kirsten), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

No, it's not a wart. It's too small and pretty for that.

what's wrong with being a glasses person?

Jim, we've gone through this before, there's nothing wrong with being a glasses person, it's just that weird moment when people who are used to seeing you with glasses see you without and do funny double-takes, giggle to themselves, etc.
Personally, I just cherish peripheral vision, but to each his own.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:07 (twenty-one years ago)

sounds like a stye. pretty common. there are some over the counter treatments you can get.

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, I think it's one of those. It hurts.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

it is head cancer. you are dying. get to a hospice immediately.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the same thing happened to me!

Even down to the new job coinciding with the eye-bump appearing and having to be a glasses person. You have a "sty" it's a small infection on your eyelid, maybe from some dirt getting in your eye.

Inexpensive medicine can be purchased from the chemist and then speedy recovery will be made. If you put some medicine on it now, it might even be gone tomorrow ok!

― rainy (rainy), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:10 (twenty-one years ago)

it means you have skin failure.

― dr. nick (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Rainy is right. I hate styes, I got them a lot as a teen. :-(

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 November 2003 04:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Say hello to your new embryonic congenital twin!

― Michael Stuchbery (Mikey Bidness), Monday, 24 November 2003 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

clearly it's cancer. remove with a melon baller now. trust me.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 November 2003 05:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Just don't touch it. At all. Not ever.

It'll go away in a couple of days.

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 24 November 2003 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pleased you said that Andrew, because I was wondering if it might burst if prompted...

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 05:18 (twenty-one years ago)

I had one as a kid while at summer camp - the staff nurse lanced it, ouch!

― elisabeth k, Monday, 24 November 2003 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

I've got one too, it should go of its own accord in a couple of days.

― leigh (leigh), Monday, 24 November 2003 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Warm compresses are helpful. Just dip a washcloth in hot water (but not too hot!) and slap it on for a few minutes at a time.

― quincie, Monday, 24 November 2003 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i had a sty once. it sucked.

hot compresses did not work, nor did any medication the eye doctor recommended. after months, this thing was huge, it finally "popped" like they said it would but it didn't go away. i missed quite abit of work as a result of having this giant oozing deformity that caused my eye to be half closed at all time. i went to the hospital and they refused to do anything for me and i had to arrange for my eye doctor to remove it.

that was terrifying. i'm a designer and need to see well - so having her hacking away at my eyelid while i had no choice but to watch was almost enough to make me piss myself. watching a needle enter your eyelid = not fun.

but don't worry, they usually go away on their own.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 24 November 2003 14:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I used a hot compress on it last night, and it did...something. Yeeeuck.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 14:57 (twenty-one years ago)

congrats on the new job, btw. you will forever be the "leaking eye guy" at the office.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 24 November 2003 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, whoop-dee-doo (thanks!).

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

should balled it

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 24 November 2003 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

might still

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 24 November 2003 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

My mum (purveyor of countless old wives' tales) swears that if you rub something gold on a stye it will go away. This has, believe it or not, worked before.

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:42 (twenty-one years ago)

if that "something gold" is a golden cheese grater, I see how this would work.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:45 (twenty-one years ago)

if it hasn't cleared up by payday you can ask to be paid in doubloons!!

― jones (actual), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:46 (twenty-one years ago)

and wear an eyepatch in the meantime! (see where i'm going with this?)

― jones (actual), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:47 (twenty-one years ago)

How does dressing like Momus help him?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:50 (twenty-one years ago)

well everyone will fear his mighty phallus for starters

― jones (actual), Monday, 24 November 2003 19:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I think there is scienticicious proof for golden remedies.

Is it on the pink part of the lid @d@m? I've had those and they didn't hurt so I guess it's not the same thing. But it'll go away I'm sure.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Monday, 24 November 2003 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

i'll have to look out my heirloom gold wedding ring - can't attend the aftershow of a very big band with a big swollen eye, glasses and no make up.

― leigh (leigh), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

try 'garlic' , it is one of the best remedies to styes,etc. I agree with the hot compress solution: do this with a cup of tea.

did it work with the 'golden' thing?

― nodiva, Tuesday, 25 November 2003 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

'garlic'? eee! rubbing garlic on your eye sounds like the most uncomfortable things ever!

― stolenbus (stolenbus), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

some say the development of sties result from looking at *ahem* impure things...

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

i experienced it because of a cheap eye shadow

you won't rub your eye with the garlic, you will just touch the stye with it and kill the microbes!

it also keeps vampires away, so you will kill one bird with one stone :)))

― nodiva, Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

That's harder than it sounds, you know.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, they can fly. And some of them are wicked fast.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

(Hi stolenbus! Where have you been?)

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:40 (twenty-one years ago)

that's why there is such an expression :))

― nodiva, Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

The garlic in the eye trick doesn't work unless you also snort pepper and put alum under your tongue.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:45 (twenty-one years ago)

You forgot putting some sodium into water for a soothing elixir.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

A soothing sodium and water enema.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

To the tune of "Song Sung Blue."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The entire concept of "taking an enema to the tune of [X]" is possibly the most ridiculous thing that doesn't involve a Photoshopped kitten.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

You can include that too. In fact that's probably the best starting point.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Since everyone else is dispensing Stye advise, I thought I would add one that hasn't been mentioned. In the morning and before bed wash your eye lashes with Johnson's "no tears" shampoo. It will help keep the infection sight clean, without making you go blind.

― danielle g. (danielle g.), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 16:52 (twenty-one years ago)

but that's for pussies¡ just splash some rubbing alcohol on them lids. both side of corse.

― dyson (dyson), Tuesday, 25 November 2003 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

I've got a stye this morning and it hurts! waaah.

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Thursday, 26 October 2006 12:16 (eighteen years ago)

AAghgh STAB IT WITH A FORK - KILL IT KILL IT!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:12 (eighteen years ago)

yeah, it might be full of SPIDERS.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:13 (eighteen years ago)

Stand a teaspooon in a mug of hot water for a minute or so, dry it, and place the now-warm spoon over your eye. Apparently the heat helps draw out the impurities from the stye more quickly (I suppose that means that it develops a purulent muck-filled head on it, and you're probably not supposed to stick a clean sharp pin in that to pop it and squeeze out the pus, if you do you'll probably go blind, even if you have washed your hands scrupulously first, not that I've ever done that before of course, oh no, not me).

― C J (C J), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:20 (eighteen years ago)

Stand a teaspooon in a mug of hot water for a minute or so, dry it, and place the now-warm spoon over your eye. Apparently the heat helps draw out the SPIDERS!!!!

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:21 (eighteen years ago)

Yeah, but they will be all warm and sleepy so they won't move very quickly, and you can clobber them with a rolled-up newspaper before they run away.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:26 (eighteen years ago)

or just open your mouth and let them lower themselves into your gaping maw on little silk strands. yummeh!

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:26 (eighteen years ago)

Or let them scamper into your ear, where they will make little nests inside your BRANE!!

― C J (C J), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:28 (eighteen years ago)

and build a CONTROL CENTRE and make you do their evil, arachnid bidding!

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:29 (eighteen years ago)

.... which involves mostly sitting very quietly on the ceiling coving, for hours at a time.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:31 (eighteen years ago)

or it could be a sty.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:31 (eighteen years ago)

oh god, baby spiders hatching on your face must be the worst thing ever.

don't worry, no sharp things shall be going near my eye though I might try the teaspoon later.

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:32 (eighteen years ago)

remember to put a spot of mustard on yr tongue so the spiders can roll around in it for Xtra flava, yo.

― teh_kit (g-kit), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:33 (eighteen years ago)

SPIDERS! STAB THEM WITH A FORK - KILL KILL!

― Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:39 (eighteen years ago)

Tabasco goes well with spider bites on the tongue, btw.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:39 (eighteen years ago)

"Spider Bites", those well known halloween party canapes.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:41 (eighteen years ago)

Nothing says Halloween fun better than a household full of swollen tongued guests beginning to go into convulsive seizures.

― M. White (Miguelito), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:43 (eighteen years ago)

Just a typical day at the Anaphylactic Shock Convention.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 26 October 2006 14:47 (eighteen years ago)

If you attempt to lance the stye with a needle make sure to thread the needle first. That way you can pull it out if you inadvertently plunge the entire thing into your eyeball.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:06 (eighteen years ago)

ilx, so helpful

― Sam rides the beat like a bicycle (Molly Jones), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:07 (eighteen years ago)

Just a typical day at the ILX Helpfulness Shocker Convention.

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:11 (eighteen years ago)

this had me roffling:

it is head cancer. you are dying. get to a hospice immediately.

-- anthony kyle monday (akmonda...) (webmail), November 23rd, 2003 11:09 PM. (akmonday) (link)

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 26 October 2006 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

http://www.cinemovies.fr/images/data/films/Pfilm27481391113917.jpg

― DavidM* (unreal), Thursday, 26 October 2006 17:47 (eighteen years ago)

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