an original take on the "nigerian spam"

Points for an original angle, I think.

US$2,00,000.00 (Two Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars)
in cash credited to file ***/**********/**. This is from a total cash prize of US$ 25 Million
Dollars, shared amongst the first Fifty (10) lucky winners in this category.

25 million divided by fifty (10) people is "2,00,000"

Hello Friend,

I am Mr.Osborn Lee, a representative of Ex-Enron Chairman and CEO Kenneth Lay
and am asking your partnership in recieving funds in excess of $100 Million
Dollars, l will provide you with detail information but in summary this funds
would come to you through a bank in western Europe and you will paid 15% for
your assistance.

Please get back to me if you are interested in this offer with your direct
telephone and email address and l will provide you with detail
information,Reply me only to oslee@hotmail.ro and also keep this transaction
to yourself considering the sensitive
nature of this business relationship.

l await your urgent response.

Best regards,

Osborn Lee.

Dear Sir,
Please forgive me for sending you unsolicited email based on the fact that we
have never met before nor had any formal introduction, however I do believe
that my contact with you, will not only change my life, but also the lives of
the families whose relatives have been secretly killed by my husband Mr.Robert
Mugabe and other neeedy Zimbabweans. I am Mrs.Joyce Mugabe one of the secret
wives of president Robert M. who as you know is a wicked and bloody thirsty
president, who will stop at nothing to achieve his selfish and senseless
ambition.

I contacted you because I need you to assist me in the underlisted ways:

1, Claims funds deposited by me with a security firm in Madrid Spain

2, Help me arrange new travelling documents which will aid my escape from
Zimbabwe

3, Help me set up a charity organisation here in Zimbabwe under your name or
that of your company.

Please note that I will detail you further once I get a positive confirmation
indicating your willingness to assist me in this private quest, bearing in mind
that your interest will be well protected during and after the sucessful
completion of this project, I sure hope to get your response at
joycemug✧✧✧@hotm✧✧✧.c✧.u✧

I await your response.

Regards,
Mrs.Joyce Mugabe.

how come 4chan hasn't found a way to take this operation down?

Oh, but they have: http://www.419baiter.com/

Well, maybe not 4chan, but some other people who have a little bit of the cruel-and-sick detachment of de-individualization.

There's some amusing stuff on there, but the whole thing is so brutally depressing it can't really be endorsed.

Wait - this is the brutal one: http://www.419eater.com/

Full of pictures of Nigerian scammers doing humilating things (posing with fish on head, posing naked, getting TATTOOS), as requested by the people they've tried to scam.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7908498.stm

Straw hit by internet fraudsters

UK Justice Secretary Jack Straw has been the victim of Nigerian fraudsters who sent out hundreds of e-mails in his name asking for money.

The e-mails claimed he had lost his wallet on charity work in Africa and needed 3,500 US dollars to get home.

Messages headed the Right Hon Jack Straw MP were sent to council bosses, government chiefs and others.

The fraudsters are thought to have hacked into computers at Mr Straw's Blackburn constituency office.

Mr Straw has confirmed the e-mails had been sent to a "significant number of people" in his address book but he said there were no security issues as it was his Blackburn e-mail address rather than his ministerial account that was targeted.

He told his local newspaper the Lancashire Telegraph: "I started getting phone calls from various constituents asking if I was really in Nigeria needing 3,000 dollars.

"It was an issue for constituents, not the government.
“ I would like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently to settle my hotel bills and get myself back home ”
Fake email sent to Jack Straw's contacts

"We are checking all that and I am assured there's no evidence that confidentiality of constituents was affected."

When he was home secretary, Mr Straw established the National Hi-Tech Crime Unit to combat internet hackers.

He said: "The internet is wonderful in many ways, but these gangs put a lot of effort in because they make money from it.

"In a lot of cases they do get people to cough up.

"But I think it was so obviously ridiculous that I could go off trekking in Africa and I would lose my wallet."

'Misplaced wallet'

The scam e-mail, which was sent to Labour members, council chiefs and Ministry of Justice officials, said Mr Straw was travelling to Africa for a project called Empowering Youth to Fight Racism, and was at an address in Nigeria's largest city, Lagos.

Mr Straw is quoted as saying: "I misplaced my wallet on my way to the hotel where my money and other valuable things were kept.

"I would like you to assist me with a soft loan urgently to settle my hotel bills and get myself back home".

The scam came to light on Thursday when Mr Straw's office received an e-mail saying its account would be suspended unless a reply was sent.

But when a member of staff replied, they were blocked out of the account.

Constituents then began to phone Mr Straw's constituency office asking about the e-mail they had received.

One is believed to have replied to the e-mail, but nobody has offered any money to the fraudsters.

The Hotmail account was suspended by Microsoft.

for some reason I really liked this one.

DHL COURIER COMPANY
No 12 Air Port Road, Benin City.
West Africa Nigeria,

Good Day

We want you to understand that the mail sent to you from this office is
authentic and your parcel is presently in our custody. But if you are
still in doughty please we will have no other choice than to send your
parcel to the Nigerian income and revenue tax office and forget completely
about this i advise you kindly let us know your response, for this mail
was sent from the Nigerian DHL office and we have your complete data for
delivery that was were we got your name and email but we want you to send
your data's to know if it corresponds with the information's we have.

Note that we were not instructed to email you, but due to the high
priority of your package we had to inform you as your sender did not leave
us with his telephone number because he stated that he just arrived
Nigeria thus has no
telephone. We sealed your Bank Draft and found your email contact on the
receivers column as the recipient of the foremost package.Email
d h l c*stomerc*re2009 @l ive.com

Yours Faithfully,
Mr. James Fred .
FedEx Online Team Management.

still in doughty after all these years

when nigerian spam and ESL students collide:

a teacher has, apparently, been (without her knowledge) spamming everyone she knows with the "i'm stuck in nigeria and i need money" email. all faculty got it, but all of her students got it too.

so some of them have been going to the acad. affairs office trying to offer money to get their teacher home. they are also upset because their teacher is trapped in nigeria and we're only in week 12 out of 16.

ha.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/business/43m-in-cash-found-in-empty-nigerian-apartment-1.3368884

It was real all along