Me and my parasite

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His patience was rewarded when a brown worm-like creature emerged from his right nostril and looked around.

"I swear it had two beady eyes on it. And it came out two or three inches, looked around and then retracted. I thought it was a dream, a vision of some sort."

Ew, ew. EW.

― Miggie (Miggie), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I went to school with someone who had the misfortune to have a fly lay its eggs in her ear.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

i think my favourite parasite tho has to be the eyeworm Loa loa.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:29 (twenty-one years ago)

It's time to Guess The Ilxer who will be appearing on Bodysnatchers this evening, discussing their own encounter with man-eating parasites.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

i think my favourite parasite tho has to be the eyeworm Loa loa.

Doesn't he play for Newcastle?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

There was a long and graphic description of the Maw-Worm, bane of the Anglo-Saxons, in my Year 1000 book. At the idea of a parasite emerging from the corner of my eye, I decided that maybe I prefered the 21st Century.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

the thing abt Loa loa is that it lives on the surface of the eyeball and quite often the first a person will know they're infected is when someone sees the worm wiggle across their eye from one side to the other.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:36 (twenty-one years ago)

ARGHHHHHHHHGFSHGAEFHKZDFLKjhdszkfhsdg\l gljkshdgfkjs.l

Not good.

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:39 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread makes my eyeballs itch.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:40 (twenty-one years ago)

the British inadvertently increased the incidence of malaria in Nigeria by outlawing the practice of young men killing each other to prove their manliness. As a substitute, the tribespeople took to travelling into unpopulated areas to kill wild animals instead and in so doing contracted malaria, which was absent from the coastal regions.

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

the liver fluke has a stage in its life cycle which lives inside a sheep and another which lives inside an ant. In order to transfer from ant to sheep, the fluke larva alters the ant's brain in some way, compelling it to climb to the top of a blade of grass, thus making sure it gets eaten by the sheep to complete the next stage in the cycle.

Aren't parasites great?

― MarkH (MarkH), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I was eating my lunch...

― smee (smee), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I fear somebody will post pictures at any moment.

― Miggie (Miggie), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

The "Bodysnatchers" show mentioned above has someone on it who volunteered to have a 3-metre long icky-think living in their digestive tract for n-weeks, and when it came out at the end (end!) it was twice as big.

marvellous

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

oops, read linked article first, fool

― Alan (Alan), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

blech

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Euw that is so very gross.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 12:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm never, ever travelling anywhere, ever.

― Octothorpe (Octothorpe), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

And i've got noodles for lunch. :-(

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 13:20 (twenty-one years ago)

I like the whole "but DON'T YOU SEE, being grossed out is a very useful behavioral survival mechanism" bullshit they tack on, so you feel like you've learnt something. Next time they'll close Oz by saying "this show is a useful behavioral stimulus to keep you from wanting to go to jail." And Alien is useful, since it keeps you from wanting to explore space.

― Hunter (Hunter), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel a need to get my hands on some tapeworm eggs so I can play some hi-hi-hilarious practical jokes on people

― DG (D_To_The_G), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Mr Svelte, perhaps that is your big secret!

― suzy (suzy), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

that may well be the oddest compliment I have ever received ;)

― DG (D_To_The_G), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

This is badass. How many generations of evolution must this have taken?

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Disgusted? Well according to Dr Val Curtis, an expert on hygiene, this reaction is a natural survival mechanism.
"In the same way that you have an immune system which helps to protect you from parasites we also have a behavioural system.

"When you feel the emotion of disgust it is a driver of your behaviour to make you keep away from or drop the thing that might be about to make you sick."

Honestly, some days it's like Freud never happened!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

SHIT do not search for "loa loa" on Google. I just found a picture of one in someone's eye and I will have nightmares.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"When you feel the emotion of disgust it is a driver of your behaviour to make you keep away from or drop the thing that might be about to make you sick."

He obviously has never seen 'How clean is my house'.

― Billy Dods (Billy Dods), Wednesday, 26 November 2003 22:41 (twenty-one years ago)

when my mom went on vacation to brazil, she came back with a very irritated big toe. finally i sliced it open and pulled out a tiny white wriggling worm. it was disgusting!

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Thursday, 27 November 2003 01:03 (twenty-one years ago)

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

― sucka (sucka), Thursday, 27 November 2003 01:12 (twenty-one years ago)

MarkH I've heard about another kind of parasite who have a similar strategy but is using birds and slugs instead of ants and sheeps.
fascinating stuff in a "follow the money" kind of way.

― The Hegemon, Thursday, 27 November 2003 01:16 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, I made it until the pee-fish bit until HSA made me turn it off. I mean, Bot-Flies are gross, but I'm used to them so I can watch them. Tapeworms I have to turn over when they come on, because my dad had one when he was little and regailed me with stories. The leech in the nose was so funny it wasn't that gross. I missed the rest of the programme, though. Sigh.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 27 November 2003 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

The part with Nick in it was actually the least gross bit of the programme but sadly came on after the Golden Showers Minnow.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 27 November 2003 09:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn! Curse HSA and his squeamishness.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 27 November 2003 09:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Ed bailed after about 15 minutes too while singing 'la la la I'm not listening!' Next time we'll have to leave them in the wuss creche or something.

Props to the prog makers for NOT shooting Nick in profile, thus avoiding 'wibble nose' (c H. Mead) for 10 minutes (you'd be surprised how often this happens).

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 27 November 2003 09:27 (twenty-one years ago)

(My colleagues are now talking about this programme. Heh.)

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 27 November 2003 09:32 (twenty-one years ago)

ugh, jill made me look at the loa loa worm picture.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 27 November 2003 09:48 (twenty-one years ago)

made it all the way through but with a lot of eye averting - esp the maggot in the head

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Weird what does/doesn't bother us. The maggot in the head made my scalp itch a bit, but it didn't bother me as much as the tapeworm.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:37 (twenty-one years ago)

eurgh, maggots are repulsive.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:39 (twenty-one years ago)

They use maggots bred in a sterile environment to clean infected wounds don't they?

― smee (smee), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:43 (twenty-one years ago)

yes they do. Maggots are absolutely nothing to be scared of, in fact they only get smelly and nasty if they're kept too warm and if they get slightly wet, then they start to sweat ammonia, which ain't so nice.

― chris (chris), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

oh god i couldnt have them anywhere near me. I purchased some veg from a well known supermarket recently & when i went to use it a few days later it had a maggot in it. I nearly threw up there & then. I just started crying instead & my boy had to sort it our for me.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:48 (twenty-one years ago)

That tv show may very well be your big breakthrough in the underground parasite culture, Momus!

From the Momus guestbook:

Wednesday 11/26/2003 10:58:45pm
Name: Scott
Location: Greenock, Scotland
Comments: I seen you on the programme about parasites, and thought I'd look up your web page. Marvellous stuff.
Scott

― Hanna (Hanna), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Pink, you should come fishing, an hour in their company and you'd be fine ;o)

― chris (chris), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I used to go fishing with my dad & bro when i was little. I don't think sticking my foot in the tub of maggots (by accident) with no shoes or socks on did much to help my hatred of the little buggers!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

mmmmm wriggly

― chris (chris), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:55 (twenty-one years ago)

maggot by itself - fine. MASSIVE maggot being PULLED OUT OF SOMEONE'S HEAD - not so fine.

― Alan (Alan), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:56 (twenty-one years ago)

might make really good bait though

― chris (chris), Thursday, 27 November 2003 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

To catch a shark maybe!

I can't understand why the woman was so calm though. I would be freaking if I had a maggot in my head, jeez!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 11:07 (twenty-one years ago)

The worm itself looked like it took a wrong turn on its way to the tequila factory.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 27 November 2003 11:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 12 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

it's a holiday in america barry

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

So the UKILXors are holding back in solidarity? Or perhaps it's the famed sense of British fair play - it's just not cricket to compete with them when they can't defend themselves.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

AND WHERE ARE THE KIWIS!?

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

well, Ed is at his new holiday-season job and the office people are probably getting their lunch right now, having lost it last night watching Golden Showers Minnows and the like.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't scabies lots of parasites?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I was forced to watch this despite whimpering and begging MAKE IT STOP and now I have developed phobias of meat, fish, dirt, other people, foreign travel and my own contact lenses. Especially as this was on after How Clean is your House (fairly clean at a glance).

― Emma, Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not the UK-ers wots missing, it's all the yanks swilling down their turkey and wotnot!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

scabies is a mite. it looks like this:

http://www.aad.org/pamphlets/images/skinmite.jpg

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

But didn't you think that woman with the birds was a complete loony Emma?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"a complete loony Emma" is my new adjective du jour.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

*sigh*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, she was totally insane. I have very little faith in the possibility of her keeping her house lovely and clean. She will probably catch parasites and die a slow, painful death.

― Emma, Thursday, 27 November 2003 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Bird parasites are seriously YUCK!!!

― Citizen Kate (kate), Thursday, 27 November 2003 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, not like those lovely cow tapeworms. I have always loved big juicy rare steaks but fear I won't be able to enjoy one ever again without carrying out a thorough search for tapeworm cysts. grr.

― Emma, Thursday, 27 November 2003 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

*smiles a smug vegetarian smile*

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 27 November 2003 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

*smiles*

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 27 November 2003 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG stop winding up PinkP!

― smee (smee), Thursday, 27 November 2003 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

eccentric symbiotic creatures could be made from parasites using biotechnology.
Biocomputer tapeworms, the loa loa could pass the data into the nervous system.
biotechnicians should engineer parasites to make em digest dirt and skin flake, crawling all over one's body, "sometimes produce pheromones, comfort the owner when in distress."
great occasion for living jewellery!

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 27 November 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

We must stop science. Now.

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Thursday, 27 November 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Mulder and Scully to thread.

― Miggie (Miggie), Thursday, 27 November 2003 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Cannot believe I spent 15 minutes ON THANKSGIVING reading this. The loa loa picture from google is crazy though, I'd hate to have it in my eye but it's very interesting.

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 27 November 2003 20:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Between biotech and nanotechnology, I can't wait to see what the first human engineered parasite will be.

http://www.marz.com/comedy/images/carrottop.gif

― Hunter (Hunter), Thursday, 27 November 2003 21:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I have heard that gastrointestinal parasites are much more common in London than they used to be, and this is all thanks to SUSHI. did the programme mention this?

― DV (dirtyvicar), Saturday, 29 November 2003 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I've also had a great idea - for a touch and feel children's book called "That's Not My Parasite!"

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 30 November 2003 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

My husband's talking about getting contact lenses, and I'm all "Do you want to end up like Momus!"

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Sunday, 30 November 2003 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I still wear lenses. Well, lens. There's no problem as long as you don't store them. Never, ever store. Discard. Put in a fresh one each day. Change them as frequently as you change your husband, if not more so.

― Momus (Momus), Sunday, 30 November 2003 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

the loa loa host looks like they've seen something even more horrifying than a worm in someone's eye

― DG (D_To_The_G), Sunday, 30 November 2003 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

WHY DID I CLICK THAT

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 30 November 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

pwn3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc

― DG (D_To_The_G), Sunday, 30 November 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

At the Hospital for Tropical Diseases they recognised the problem straight away - it was the living maggot larva of a botfly.

This is a major problem around here for squirrels--they dance around and rub up against trees to try to disloge them. Lots of people see them do this and think they're rabid.

They use maggots bred in a sterile environment to clean infected wounds don't they?

Not so much in America, unfortunately. It's really the best treatment for them--not only do they do a better job of debridement (removing dead tissue) than humans do, they excrete helpful healing chemicals as well.

Did I ever mention that Sébastien's one of my favorite posters?

great occasion for living jewellery!

Ever hear about the maketch (sp?) beetles? They were living beetles gilded and jeweled and worn as a pin. I'm assuming that they died from starvation shortly after they were bought. A truly inspired moment in the history of cruelty to animals.

That story has nothing to do with this thread, but I was reminded of it anyway.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Monday, 1 December 2003 04:17 (twenty-one years ago)

what stops the maggots eating the live tissue as well? don't they like it.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 1 December 2003 13:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I think contemporary transgenic art is advanced enough to make living jewellery,like making the nosey peek-a-boo leech the color of a jewel beetles (from the family Buprestidae) like this one
http://utenti.romascuola.net/bups/img/n_euraus.jpg, possibly making it suck nasal discharge instead of blood.

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Only 19:33, and I'm already grossed out. Jesus.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I wanna talk to you about forbidden pleasures of the flesh
The most thrilling satisfaction for all mankind
Better than everything you ever imagined in your wildest dreams
The secret of the crablouse
Here's a message for the girls about vaginas
And the consequence of fiddling with a partner
Mind your labia they're never out of danger
If you're gonna go to bed with a stranger
Creatures might be hidden in his pubic area
It's the crablouse that's out to get ya!
It's gonna grab you by the pubic hair
Shake your pussy when the bastard's there
It's there to stay, sucks all day
It's there to bite, my parasite
The little vampire, horny and so greedy
It doesn't care about a penis and it's envy
It's intelligent, nasty and it's sick
A party animal, a pervert and a pig
If a crablouse gets mixed up in your saliva
Stumbles through your body right into your vulva
Then waits patiently until a penetration
Gets it out of there and right into salvation
It's there to stay, sucks all day
It's there to bite, my parasite
Now we know the little crablouse is a raver
You can't get rid of it unless you use a razor
It's unbearable, funky and so cool
A real smartass and nobody's fool
If you meet a guy who's scratching at his totem
We all know that it's connected with his scrotum
He might tell you that his undie is too tight
But you'll know that it's the crablouse and you're right
It's there to stay, sucks all day
It's there to bite, my parasite
My love machine, my maddest dream
Turns me on, makes me come

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:48 (twenty-one years ago)

DB, another masterpiece of yours? Never knew you had it in you.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pretty quiet about my brief stint in the Lords, myself.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 00:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Hard act to follow, but what stops the maggots eating the live tissue as well? don't they like it.

I think the reason is that living flesh is too hard to eat and digest whereas the dead flesh is already halfway there.

― nickn (nickn), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 08:20 (twenty-one years ago)

two years pass...

My mother has just called to describe the worm she picked up in Barbados. It is residing in her foot and is three inches long! The GP was so excited she called in all her colleagues to take a look. Moral of the story: on tropical beaches, only walk barefoot on the sand that has been washed by the ocean.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 15 December 2005 16:38 (nineteen years ago)

This is what she's got.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 15 December 2005 16:41 (nineteen years ago)

Urgh, I bet that itches infuriatingly.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 15 December 2005 16:43 (nineteen years ago)

Woah - scabies for giants!

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 15 December 2005 16:47 (nineteen years ago)

She's been itching for a few weeks but only recently realised what was causing it. The thing appeared on one toe, then moved to another! Dad got a bit freaked out, apparently.

― Mädchen (Madchen), Thursday, 15 December 2005 16:53 (nineteen years ago)

four months pass...

Intelligent Design advocates? .....Hello-o-o?.....anyone?

― dr lulu (dr lulu), Friday, 21 April 2006 03:15 (nineteen years ago)

[admin: several instances of meds spam deleted. Thread locked to unregistered posters, sorry.]

― cheap valium, Friday, 21 April 2006 03:49 (nineteen years ago)

Any anti-parasite medication by any chance?

― jay blanchard (jay blanchard), Friday, 21 April 2006 03:53 (nineteen years ago)

I just went to the Meguro Parasitological Museum in Tokyo and they had some amazingly disgusting tapeworms in glass jars there. The worms had been extracted from human hosts and it was pretty barf-tastic just how long and fat and happy they looked. A super creepy touristic must if you're headed to Tokyo.

Didn't see any spam-bots in glass jars there though.

― Drew Daniel (Drew Daniel), Friday, 21 April 2006 04:16 (nineteen years ago)

http://web.tiscalinet.it/silviodr/facehugger.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 21 April 2006 04:21 (nineteen years ago)

For a second I thought that was a pic of matmos doing some recording. There goes my 'Hey, nice beard Drew' comment.

― dirk, Friday, 21 April 2006 04:36 (nineteen years ago)

a chest to burst is a chest to cure

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 21 April 2006 04:59 (nineteen years ago)

me and my parasite
a pair we are, a dynamic duo
me and my parasite
suck my blood you beautiful mosquito

me and my parasite
me and my parasite
me and my parasite

me and my tapeworm
he keeps me nice and trim
me and my tapeworm
he keeps my figure everlastingly slim

me and my tapeworm
me and my tapeworm
me and my tapeworm

my parasite don't answer to no one
he's his own boss
dwelling in my bowels,
he calls all the shots

me and my parasite
me and my parasite
me and my parasite

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Friday, 21 April 2006 07:55 (nineteen years ago)

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