Advice Needed Please

How long had you two been together before you split? And how many times have you already split up/got back togther again? i.e. if you do get back together again when her mental state becomes more stable, are you likely to be letting yourself in for a rollercoaster ride of emotions every time she goes through a bad patch in the future? Are you willing to cope with that, long term? I wonder whether being there to pick up the pieces like some knight in shining armour is a very good idea, but I admire anyone who is willing to do that sort of thing :)

It strikes me as odd that she should text you to say she has a new boyfriend. Why would she do that? To get a reaction out of you? To be spiteful and try and hurt you? Is she the type to play mind games, or not?

I'd be inclined to give her the space she wants, but keep an eye on things from a distance if you are able. Do you keep in touch with any of her family?

Personal experience only here, since I don't know a thing about mental health/counseling from a larger perspective.

My first great love, in high school, was a boy who had and has some mental issues. I'm still not sure exactly what they are because he didn't always have the money or focus to pursue treatment, but he's taken some meds (zoloft and such) off and on. We dated for three years and we're still in touch, albeit only a couple times a year at this point. I had my own mental issues at the time, and when we first met, it was like finding someone who had an understanding that I wasn't getting anywhere else. It was probably a little unhealthy, but it felt good at the time.

At the end of things, he was getting worse and I was getting better. It was a slow and painful breakup, and I worried that he was going to go over the edge and hurt himself (again) or me. I left him alone sometimes, and talked to him about his behavior when he was feeling better.

For me, I guess, I let him try to work out his issues with our relationship and his own mental health, but let him know that I was there for general support. He's still someone I care about.

We got together in April, and she fell ill in June, as her mental problems, which she thought'd she'd overcome years ago, returned. We put the relationship on hold then, and she said in September that she was way too ill to continue. I understand all that, but it's just brought back my earlier despondancy.

I don't intend getting back with her, even if she was well, as there's no guarantee this wouldn't happen again, so don't fear for me CJ ;) I don't know why she would tell me about a new boyfriend, really, as I'm in no position to judge her mental state. She may want me to accept it, or might want to tell me to leave her alone, or she might just have said it vindictively, bearing in mind that she's very unstable.

Re her family, her parents hold me responsible for her becoming mentally ill again. I don't know why - general protectiveness, I suppose - but they do. So they're no help in the situation.

Oh, and I am getting help from my friends, and I might go and see a counsellor about it.