Bringing along a friend on a date when you're going out with someone for the first time, without telling the person you're meeting that you're doing this

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What the fuck? What bullshit. I had a lunch date set up with this visual FX editor girl who seemed pretty cool, but the instant she and her friend got out of her Audi I knew I was going to have to leave early. PLUS she left after two minutes to go back to her apartment because she forgot her money, which was within walking distance (which explains why she needed a ride?). I spent the next fifteen minutes making small talk with her friend, who was actually very pleasant. Then my alleged date comes back with her purse and a very small, very loud chihuahua on her arm. As soon as she walked up with that, I thought "o fuck, a Hollywood nitemare girl".

So the FX lass talked mostly with her friend, then talked to a couple of people she knew at the cafe, and spent some time eyeing a Bronson Pinchot lookalike at the next table. I talked with the friend, and it seemed more like she was my date and the other one was the annoying friend she dragged along.

After an hour of barely talking to my date, watching as she let her yapping chihuahua run up to other dogs whilst feeding it bacon, etc., she stood up, downed the rest of her coffee, and said "ready kids? yeah, we've got to look at apartments now" (her friend was moving into the area). There was an awkward hug which should have been a handshake, a promise to make calls and such, and a quick exit on my part, no looking back.

WHY IS DATING SUCH A BITCH?

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

If you had Twix you could've handed a stick to each.

― Lysander Spooner, Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

That does sound like an awful date. Sorry it didn't go well. A Chihuahua? That's just wrong.

― Kevin Gilchrist (Mr Fusion), Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

You should have gotten the friend's phone number. In front of your 'date.'

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Was the friend cute at least?

― Lysander Spooner, Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, are you sure it was supposed to be a date?

― mcd (mcd), Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

hahahah you live in LA

― Lt. Kingfish Del Pickles (Kingfish), Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:25 (twenty-one years ago)

dud.

― pfeffernuesse (Jody Beth Rosen), Sunday, 3 October 2004 02:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I think the converse also kinda sucks: when a "friend" tells you that he and bunch of people are going to go to dinner/a movie, and everyone but him mysteriously doesn't show up.

Because that's not completely obvious, or anything.

― Laura E (laurae55), Sunday, 3 October 2004 04:22 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah i've done that laura. doesn't work. surprisingly.

― darragh.mac (darragh.mac), Sunday, 3 October 2004 04:50 (twenty-one years ago)

it was definitely a date. but something tells me I won't hear from her again, and the vice versa is definitely true. she was sort of hot in a Juliette Lewis on smack kind of way. key words being "sort of"

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 3 October 2004 05:16 (twenty-one years ago)

A fucking chihuahua. I always know what part of town I'm in when I see a chihuahua. Even a dachsund would be ok, or maybe a pekingese. Chihuahuas are for kicking.

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Sunday, 3 October 2004 05:20 (twenty-one years ago)

dude this girl told me she has four chihuahuas. how I ended up on this date I have no clue

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 3 October 2004 05:25 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a good question, though... how *did* you end up on this date?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Sunday, 3 October 2004 05:30 (twenty-one years ago)

I mean, the first time you met her, what about her clouded the fact that you would be in for a hurculean amount of maintenance and endless crying jags and eating disorders?

― Gold Teeth II (kenan), Sunday, 3 October 2004 05:35 (twenty-one years ago)

I was drunk on whiskey

okay, replace "drunk" with "zonked out" and "whiskey" with "Krispy Kremes"

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 3 October 2004 06:06 (twenty-one years ago)

whatever happened to the girl that you worked with that you genuinely liked but your midget coworker confused with some other girl???

― kyle (akmonday), Sunday, 3 October 2004 07:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I never actually spoke with the girl I genuinely liked, alas.

The midget apparently has become even weirder since I left that job.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 3 October 2004 07:24 (twenty-one years ago)

You can't just leave it at that, Gear!

― jaymc (jaymc), Sunday, 3 October 2004 07:57 (twenty-one years ago)

why do you even see the midget at all if you don't work there? and how can you not go hunt that other girl down?

― kyle (akmonday), Sunday, 3 October 2004 07:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Gear, two possibilities:

i) your date is on for a threesome (or a foursome, if you count the chihuahua), hence the friend (and chihuahua)

ii) your date decided that you were "not her type", but reckons you might be more suited to her friend, hence bringing her along.

OR - she might not have even realised it was a date. This happens.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Not in Dublin though.

I dream of living in a city that embraces casual dating.

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:28 (twenty-one years ago)

call the friend

― m. (mitchlnw), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Who, me?

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Why do these things always happen to Gear?

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Because he lives in America?

― Lara (Lara), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is Gear's life so constantly entertaining? It's the little details that get me, like the bit about the bacon. I sometimes feel the whole of ILE is living its life vicariously through his exploits.

As an Englishman, I find the whole dating concept alluring but utterly shrouded in mystery, so I can offer no sensible advice, but the idea of bringing along someone else has pleasing echoes of the old convention of chaperoning, so I quite like it.

I think the converse also kinda sucks: when a "friend" tells you that he and bunch of people are going to go to dinner/a movie, and everyone but him mysteriously doesn't show up.

This reminds me of one of my favourite Seinfeld episodes, where some guy keeps trying to trick Elaine into having a date with him.

― Alba (Alba), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I was going to mention Seinfeld. The overdosing on Krispy Kremes beforehand - very much a Seinfeld touch.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Sunday, 3 October 2004 10:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Not in Dublin though.

it happens to me - I've been on hot dates where my datee just thought we were going out for a friendly meal. I think Rener doesn't realise we are more than just flatmates.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Sunday, 3 October 2004 11:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Because he lives in America?

No, because he lives in Los Angeles.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 3 October 2004 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

As an Englishman, I find the whole dating concept alluring but utterly shrouded in mystery

I remember another English person once saying that they'd only ever been on dates with people they were already sleeping with. I think it might have been Archel, but I'm not entirely sure.

(sorry, Arch, if it wasn't)

I have been on dates, but they were never very successful. Far better to just snog someone you know from the pub, and start seeing them that way.

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 3 October 2004 15:49 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds like most people/places in the states too. Except for calling it a snog.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 3 October 2004 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

did you hit it off with the friend then?

weird date though, quite surreal. sounds like some odd meeting from robert altman's the player.

― splooge (thesplooge), Sunday, 3 October 2004 15:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I have been on dates. I think "English People Don't Date" is just us pretending to be all quaint and stammery again - at the very least it's kinda changing?

The idea of being "set up on a date" is still weird to me though. I would like to read the teenage Gear! diaries, actually, as a companion piece to the N ones, also.

― Gravel Puzzleworth (Gregory Henry), Sunday, 3 October 2004 16:00 (twenty-one years ago)

of course english, or british people, in my case, do date. we dont all live in a richard curtis film do we now.........

― splooge (thesplooge), Sunday, 3 October 2004 16:10 (twenty-one years ago)

This was definitely a date, and the friend wasn't my type either! She was probably early 30s and a flight attendant who worked on private, chartered airline flights (i.e. celebs flying to NYC and such).

Also, they both wore sunglasses the whole time so I never actually saw their eyes. My date pulled out an American Spirit about 30 minutes into the ordeal and asked if anyone else wanted one. I hadn't had a cigarette in two months but I jumped at the chance.

Also at one point she went inside to get some more coffee and while inside, knocked on the window. Not to get our attention, but to get the attention of "Sebastian", who she then waved to. Sebastian being the chihuahua.

― Gear! (Gear!), Sunday, 3 October 2004 17:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I read that as "Sebastian being the Chikara"

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 3 October 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Are lunch dates really dates in the first place?

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 3 October 2004 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's just lunch!"

― Guayaquil, Sunday, 3 October 2004 17:37 (twenty-one years ago)

an ex of mine always complained that our first date was me and a bunch of my friends.

in my defense, a mutual friend wanted to set us up but had not done much so i told him i'd be meeting her and some friends that night for a drink if he wanted to stop by, thinking it would somewhat take the pressure off the (quasi) blind date thing. She ended up not showing up while a whole bunch of rowdy friends did. all worked out in the end (except for the horrible breakup but as that was a year later can't blame it on the first date)

― H (Heruy), Sunday, 3 October 2004 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

this date is beginning to sound fantastically entertaining!

― splooge (thesplooge), Sunday, 3 October 2004 18:45 (twenty-one years ago)

It's probably peaked.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Sunday, 3 October 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

That happened to me before. (Getting picked up by the friend in a car, which I did not expect, I mean.)

The night was quite bad. I actually felt good by telling them after about 40 minutes into the "date" that I was going to go split, since it fortunately started raining. They were like, "Well, okay, so where are you going? Don't you want a ride?" (because we lived in the same neighborhood) I was like, "Nah, I'll take the subway. Later." It was just uncomfortable. And I *did* feel more at ease with the friend, too, just like you! I'm really not sure if I've ever seen here around since. I probably have and she probably thinks I was ignoring her.

― redfez, Sunday, 3 October 2004 20:59 (twenty-one years ago)

it happens to me - I've been on hot dates where my datee just thought we were going out for a friendly meal. I think Rener doesn't realise we are more than just flatmates.

The DIRTY Vicar earns his name.

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

If she was fobbing you off and needed rescuing from an hour of awkward conversation then she was RUBBISH at it. Everyone knows you get the friend to 'coincidentally' walk in after ten or fifteen minutes if you need rescuing.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I remember this girl I dated in college. I would later go on to write an entertaining spiteful song for her called "Artificial Red", but that's another story. Anyway, we would go out to places and she would be all flirty and lap-sitting-upon with all these other dudes (and not just dudes, but total cigar-smoking wearing-shirts-with-shit-like-"FARFROMPUKIN" fratless fratboy dudes who would refuse games of chess because 'like go back to the Middle Ages, nerd') and essentially I was just around to drive her places and to make out with when the heard of cheeseheads ran thin. Her The Friend that I got along with better than her was named Michelle. I still see her and we think back on that time and laugh and laugh. Anyway, once she was all like "do you like T1ffany (J4czgarz3wksy [sp? fuck it], one of her friends from the dorm)?" and I figured it would be A OK to be honest with her after all her honestly wrt her exploits with these cheeseheads mens, so I was like "shit yeah" and she got all mad and didn't call me again. I didn't really mind, except I had no way to get in touch with that girl Tiffany or her That Friend Michelle anymore. Fin.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 4 October 2004 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

her name was Roxy!

― Gear! (Gear!), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 09:20 (twenty-one years ago)

figures.

This happened to me last year and I still remember it. I met this cute gal at a party - she was the daughter of a pretty famous footballer, and quite nice, albeit I could see posh/high-maintenance signs already, but what the hell - we got on well so I asked her out. She agreed, emails/texts were exchanged, and we finally planned on meeting up for a drink in Covent Garden. Well, you know the punchline - she turned up with a Canadian friend, I suppose figuring this would make conversation all smooth. After chatting with this Canadian gal it became quite clear that we were from different sides of the tracks back 'home' - i.e. we had no respect at all for each other. As you can imagine, we carried on politely drinking our drinks but this 'date' ended as swiftly as possible.

I think part of the problem was London post-code snobbery - the whole 'East end boys, West end girls' thing' (OK, I wasn't east - I was 'south' at the time. Brixton, SW2. Not very impressive for a posho type.)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 10:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Which footballer?!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 10:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I MUST KNOW!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

i went on a date with a girl about 4 years ago and she brought her friend along. this wasn't great, but to make things worse it was a girl i'd snogged the same night i'd gotten together with this girl and who was still interested in me (i wasn't, plus she was a good 8 years my junior). it was a pointless and weird evening. i ended up having a nervous breakdown over the girl, unrelated to this story. hmm, i hope i don't read this post when i sober up lest it depress me.

― the surface noise (slight return) (electricsound), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 10:07 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

If I'm drunk enough at the next FAP, maybe I'll tell you, Matt.

"If" haha

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 11:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Was it Peter Beardsley?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 11:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Nobby Stiles?

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

*sigh*

He appears on the cover of the first 0asis album. You can probably figure it out. No names here ok thx bye.

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

(just realised there are 2 players on the cover - think city, not united)

― Rob Bolton (Rob Bolton), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i kind of ended up in this situation last night. my friend met someone that was a friend of a friend of mine. they arranged to meet for drinks. at the last minute, she told him she was bringing my friend. he doesn't know my friend that well, so he asked me to come along as well.

i came, talked to my friend for most of the night, while the guy and his kind-of-date really hit it off.

so it's not always a dud, although it's probably usually a dud.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Well if you both bring someone along I can imagine this would work well, but not if only one of the ppl brings along a friend!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah the fourth person makes all the difference, I kind of like it that way. It relaxes you and takes the pressure off a bit and can show you in a more sociable and fun light than if you are sitting there with someone trying to fend off awkward silences. Provided you get to talk to your date enough, anyway.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 12:19 (twenty-one years ago)

[grin]

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 15:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the french call it a "carré"!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 15:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Can we safely assume you were the one doing the hitting off? :)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Mr DC, are you claiming to have been on a date?

― Board Un-British Activities Committee (RickyT), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

aw, i left it all anonymous and stuff! i just thought it was funny that this thread was revived the day after the date...

the fourth person was key, i think. but the thing is, she didn't plan on there being a fourth. it was jim's clever thinking that turned it from a possibly-awkward situation into something that was ok.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Jim's a cutie though, I hope he gets some hott chix0r lovin'!

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw shucks, you're making me blush.

― JimD (JimD), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

yes yes, cute cute!! i hope he turns GAY.

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

(or bi)

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:46 (twenty-one years ago)

my friend asked me to come with her on a date she regretted agreeing to. essentially, i was to act as cock-block, but then she ended up fucking him anyway. he paid for my dinner though. so, it doesn't always have to be dud

― phil-two (phil-two), Tuesday, 12 October 2004 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

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