100 ways to suck all the motivation out of someone

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1. Wake up on December 1st and it's dark and rainy and your job is rubbish anyway

― Alan (Alan), Monday, 1 December 2003 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

2. catch up on ILX on a Monday morning after a weekend's break

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 1 December 2003 10:22 (twenty-one years ago)

3. Spend the first 2 hours of Monday morning stuffing envelopes.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 1 December 2003 10:25 (twenty-one years ago)

wake up with a headache and you haven't even been drinking (much) the night before.

― ken c, Monday, 1 December 2003 10:29 (twenty-one years ago)

5. Find yourself thinking "stevem OTM"

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 1 December 2003 10:35 (twenty-one years ago)

6. Peer at mystifying Photoshop icons which become pin-sized on your rubbish monitor and realise that you are NEVER going to be able to create what you want by class on Wednesday.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 1 December 2003 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

7. Spend the first 2 hours of Monday morning stuffing envelopes AND get a papercut so you bleed all over them.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 1 December 2003 10:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Check your account balance online only to find out that your rent has been debited but your international money transfer still hasn't arrived after five days, leaving you with a negative balance and potential extortionate bank fees and the knowledge that you will have to walk to and from school in the cold rain today if you can't find enough change for the bus.

― sgs (Mark C), Monday, 1 December 2003 11:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Yep, that'll do it. *hugs*

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 1 December 2003 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

9. Well it was GOING to be: taking French magazines out of their horrible plastic wrap that somehow sets my teeth on edge. But then I saw the hottie advertising Ralph Lauren on the back of Le Nouvel Obs and motivation came back a bit...

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 1 December 2003 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw sweetheart! Are you okay? Fuck the fucking fucks at NatWest. With knives, natch. *double hugs*

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 1 December 2003 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

10. Make up fake rules that only apply to them. Then really rub it in their face that they've been left behind.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

11) Do whatever they were going to do better and first

― Maria (Maria), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

12) with a very sharp knife and a straw

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

13) Have your boss mutter "Oh, are you still here?"

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

14) point out that YOU have done nowt but post laviciously on ILX all day

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Laviciously? It sounds... sensual yet violent. I like it.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

It's French violence, innit?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

15) arrange it so that no hot water comes from their taps on a monday morning so that they have to boil water to spongebath themselves with.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

16) Get fired.

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

having 1.25 to yr name, having a 192 pay cheque and having it all owed, so you cannot afford yr new drug prescription, because thats gonna be 160 bucks, thinking that having mental health meds be 7 bucks a dose w. a fucking drug plan isnt really helpful.

― anthony easton (anthony), Monday, 1 December 2003 15:59 (twenty-one years ago)

17. Find out they only paid you for the first ten days in November. Realise that you only have enough money to cover your mortgage and a couple of direct debits, Christmas is fast approaching and you are going to London on Thursday night with zero cash in your purse. Also discover that Personnel care so little about your plight they take 52 hours to put your name, address and the date on a form letter so that Payroll can release a cheque and that Payroll will not be able to release said cheque until tomorrow at the earliest, which means it won't get to the bank until Wednesday at the earliest, which means I won't see it in my account until Monday at the earliest. Monday is the day I come home from London :-(

― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Yikes. Can you try rearranging a few direct debits? I'm not sure how this works but I've seen a friend manage to do it when she didn't get paid for two months...

18. I am a big fatty.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

19. I am a blunt.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:25 (twenty-one years ago)

20. Oh shite I ate all the jelly babies.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

21. Remind them that they are in the military.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I have arranged an overdraft and am claiming any fees and interest back from Personnel's budget code. I will also sneak into their office at night and spill lambs' blood on their keyboards.

― Madchen (Madchen), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

have your landlord ripping you off and smugly telling you that you'll just have to get a lawyer because they know you can't afford it and then having to dish out a check that was your entire grocery/cigarette budget for the month of december and then thinking, well, i'm not quitting smoking....

― possible m (mandinina), Monday, 1 December 2003 16:27 (twenty-one years ago)

24. Remind them of the nature of reality

― oops (Oops), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:12 (twenty-one years ago)

25. Have them live in Minnesota

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

26. Or anywhere close to Birmingham (UK)

― ChrissieH (chrissie1068), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

27. not to mention...Saskatchewan

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

28. Wall to wall sunshine and very high temperatures

― jel -- (jel), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Minimum payment on mastercard bill is way more than you want to pay in the first place.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

30. Open an e-mail from your mom wherein she tells you that last week she put to sleep one of the dogs you've had since you were 11, and you are in another country far away and didn't really get to say goodbye.

I mean, he was old and in failing health, but still. I miss him.

Luckily my suckass bank situation appears to have partially righted itself.

― sgs, Monday, 1 December 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

remember that your folks made the dog suffer in neglect for years until the poor thing finally died. ouch.

― possible m (mandinina), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:39 (twenty-one years ago)

32) Remember that Christmas is thisclose, and you've only the lint from your pocket to give.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

33. thinking a test is only worth 25 percent anyway, admitting to yourself you're more worried about having to get out of bed and face humans before the healthy hour of 12.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:06 (twenty-one years ago)

34) Read part of the sad pet stories thread.

― j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 02:16 (twenty-one years ago)

35. Assign Derrida

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

36. Monday Night Football

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 03:34 (twenty-one years ago)

37. pick apart your daughter's lovingly prepared thanksgiving turkey with your hands and say something really mean and uncalled for when she asks you to use the serving fork

― bad jode (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 03:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Watch them smoke bucketloads of ganja for years while sitting on their ass, then they try to tell you that it would be "impossible" for them to go back and finish school because they are too old(29)/poor(no debt, eligible for financial aid). They are amazed that you are about to receive a graduate degree, having dropped out of school at the same time as you.

― webcrack (music=crack), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 05:07 (twenty-one years ago)

38. tell them they are a "freelancer"

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 07:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Sterling OTM
HA!

― Orbit (Orbit), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 07:55 (twenty-one years ago)

39. "Here, come stand in the 'Hunter zone'"!

― Hunter (Hunter), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 08:13 (twenty-one years ago)

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