help me get out of my lease

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must • get • rid • of • car

i no longer want to deal with tickets, scrapes, towing companies or parking permits.
i no longer want to shell out over $500 (canadian) a month for one of the greatest sources of misery i have ever known (next to various girlfriends).
i must get out of my lease.
i have a little over a year left.
i dread selling it on the private market because 1)it's been in an accident 2)the scrape on the bumper will be more expensive for me to fix than, say, the dealership if they were to purchase it back from me 3)if the dealership doesn't buy out the lease i will have to pay the gst

so any tips / people interested in taking over the lease/buying outright a '01 civic with a mere 52,000 k's / or people willing to "steal" my car and drive it into the lake a lá simpsons¿

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

also, some bastard stole the logo off the hood, like, a year ago.
so i'll need to steal myself a new one.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Dear Hond4 Dealer,

I am dismayed to report that upon finding a large sample of HUMAN STOOL in the driver's side airbag after my last routine tune-up, I must discontinue our lease. I hope that you will agree to dissolve our contract and not go through the very public, very embarrassing court system defending the HUMAN STOOL you or your employees put in my car.

yours,
Dyson"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 17:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

huck, you are no help to me today.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

and all other days I am?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

well,

today even less.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

sorry.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

A Civic, you say? I think I know who stole your hood ornament:

http://www.synergizedsolutions.com/simpsons/pictures/others/nelson2.gif

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

You must be one of the only people who hasn't had their Honda Civic stolen.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

Y'know the Civic Nation carwash commercial?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

yes

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

my friend is in that

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

helpinger and helpinger!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

So how much is the buyout? I have a very foolish brother who has a wealthy gf and together the combination is mind blowing.
And he is a Civic driver, or at least drives whats left of one.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

$13,000 roughly.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'll get back to you on that. He's in Engerland at the moment.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Roll it down a hill on fire, into a gas/chemical plant. Then run around in a leather jacket and sunglasses spouting random Terminator quotes...that way when you eventually goto court, you can plead insanity. This would then clear you of all charges, and hopefully rid you of the car problem.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

I thought it might work. In a round about sort of way.

― Spinktor the Unmerciful (mawill5), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

well, you've been more help then huck.

― dyson (dyson), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

http://www.avantech-heartsafe.com/images/broken-heart1.gif

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

Woah, Huck turned his face into a (broken) heart!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

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