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'Here, Try This'

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My co-worker, whom I'll call bitchface, heard me sneeze and said, "oh are you okay?"

Yeah, just tired and feeling a little like I might get a cold.

"Oh yeah? Here, try this... it's a homeopathic remedy I got and it really works."

What is it?

"Just try it. It tastes like bubblegum."

*chewchewchewOHDEARGOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, YOU VILE WOMAN?*

"Hahahahahahahahaha... it's gross, huh?"

Whatever this little red piece of hell is, it does indeed taste like bubblegum - for the first five seconds. After that, it morphs into some revolting pseudo-oily bit of non-chewable nastiness, and I am left feeling not only like I want to smash her bitchface in, but also like a piece of bubblegum just took a crap in my mouth.

Tell me I'm not the only one shit like this happens to?

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

HYSTERICS

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

I got halfway through the first sentence before I smiled bigger than I've smiled all day.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

I forgot to mention that you can't eat or drink anything for 15 minutes after you choke this devil's dingleberry down... I'm considering cutting my tongue out.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ick!

I never chew gum because it makes my jaw pop and that tends to gross people out.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 1 December 2003 20:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

If it tastes bad, it must be good for you. You can take advantage of that little bit of folk wisdom for years and years of yuk yuks. The fun never ends!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:01 (twenty-one years ago) link

'Here, Try This'

This is one of those phrases that no good can ever come from.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Broccoli: nature's killer. It even tries to warn you with its horrible, horrible taste."

― Dr. Hibbard (nickalicious), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

See also, 'hey y'all, watch this!'

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

well i hope the sneezing stopped at least. otherwise, smash!

― scissors (Honda), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:08 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm trying to figure out which circle of Hell Luna's coworker is from. "Oh, she's not feeling well. Let me pull a horrific practical joke on her that will make her want to vomit."

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

also, "dude, go check out what's in the sink"


DON"T GO

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

YOU ARE MISSING THE FACT THAT GUM POOED IN MY MOUTH.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

The best is, "EEEwwwww, peee-yoooo, SMELL THIS." Um, NO.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

Luna's tongue needs toilet paper.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:14 (twenty-one years ago) link

Boy if I had a nickel for all the times I've heard that...

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

(I'd have .05 - whatever, it wasn't funny that way)

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

I'm considering cutting my tongue out.

You could, but what about all the other great uses you'd miss out on?

Boy if I had a nickel for all the times I've heard that...

You could have become Governor.....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

"Here, stick your nose in here and inhale" was a personal favourite of mine for a while. I would offer forth a box of tattle-tape (library security tag-things), co-worker would sniff deeply, and then go purple and look at me and say "that is revolting."

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

Why do people always say "Ugh, this tastes disgusting - try it" or "This milk is off - try it"?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

Easy: they want to see if you are stupid enough to actually try [x].

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Also they want a second opinion. "Is this as nasty as I think it is? Oh, I guess it's worse; look at him gag!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

My mom used to mix this horrible health powder stuff into a paste form and put it on crackers for my sister and I. BLAUGHGHGUGH!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 1 December 2003 21:44 (twenty-one years ago) link

Two hours and forty minutes later, I can still taste strawberry poop. Help me, somebody.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

here, try this.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Not twice in one day. Try me tomorrow.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:35 (twenty-one years ago) link

OK.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 1 December 2003 23:35 (twenty-one years ago) link


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