Phone Sex Thread.

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Seriously, how much do people make doing this? Tell me more about the phone sex industry as I cannot google it at work without raising eyebrows and showing lots of porn on my work computer. I am thinking perhaps this would be a good job, except I'm worried I'd have to tell someone I'm basting them and putting them in an oven in order for them to get off, or worse :/

― allyzay, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"worried"

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Serious answers Popeye!!!

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm worried I'd have to tell someone I'm basting them and putting them in an oven in order for them to get off, or worse :/

That would probably only be the tip of the iceberg.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

if it works similarly to phone psychicking, then I think the hardest part of the job is living with yourself.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah but would I make mad money doing it? I mean I am under the impression that perhaps I could do it for only a few hours a day or week and maybe make like $20 or $30 an hour? Or am I skewed by the glamorous Hollywood view of prostitution?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I think (I'm not sure) it's similar to prostitution in that you have a "pimp" i.e. a phone-sex company that takes most of the $$ and you get a percentage.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-one years ago)

i'm pretty sure the money isn't really that great

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Honestly, I think you can make decent money, but the hours are probably weird. But you have to call a 1-800 number at the start of yr shift to log in, and then calls to another number are routed to your number and I think you get like less than a quarter of what the caller pays, but there are usually bonus incentives for keeping them on longer and stuff like that.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

damn somebody knows their stuff

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

opening scene of CB4 to thread.

[said in ultra bored voice] "yeah, I'm lickin' yer ballz. Best ballz i ever tasted."

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm looking in the back of the Voice, and there are phone sex ads that advertise rates of 99 cents a minute, 40 cents a minute, one-on-one live is $3.00 a minute. But I'm not sure if there's a surcharge. Still, the average call is probably under 3 minutes.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:13 (twenty-one years ago)

for you maybe!

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:14 (twenty-one years ago)

there's usually minumum charges, and also, strange lonely perverts giving you their credit card info!!!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

yanc3y's all 'you had me at hello'

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Yanc3y, I'd break the bank if I had to use one of these services.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

There's a broad spectrum, but it's a ... um, you know, a bell curve thing. There are people who make lots of money at it, but they're very very few and probably lucked into a niche situation, the phone equivalent of the four-figure call girl.

By and large it doesn't pay a lot, and the people who have the jobs are a) people who use it as extra money, not living expenses money; b) people who aren't qualified to do anything else, often simply by reason of location; c) people for whom the "added value" of the job (the hours, if they're negotiable; the titillation; the convenience of working at home, if that's the case; the sense of power) makes up for the lack of dough. One of the reasons 900# services are so expensive is the huge charge the phone companies tack on for it -- it has to trickle through a lot of fingers before it lands.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

various xposts

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

one of the most awkward moments of my adolescence: mom gets the phone bill, sees 1-900 calls on there. she comes to me, absolutely fuming ("the talk" was given to me via a dr. james dobson book), and asks if i had been calling sex numbers. the truth was much worse: it was a phone number to get help on beating zelda. i was shamed.

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:20 (twenty-one years ago)

once again, i worked in the phone sex industry.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

What'd you beat her with?

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Yanc3y rulz.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Most, if not all, operators have a ten-minute minimum. Also, many girls say on their sites what they won't do, so as to avoid the turkey basters. These are generally along the lines of rape fantasies, incest, scat, beastiality... The money can vary, depending on where you're advertising, whether you're working on your own or through a company, and the rate you charge.

Or so I've heard.

― Prude (Prude), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:22 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG, CHRIS -- STORIES NOW.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

what's scat?

― Yanc3y (ystrickler), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

don't open that door yance

― cinniblount (James Blount), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Erm... Think "tubgirl."

― Prude (Prude), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

i see that someone's just got her columbia tuition bill in the mail, then.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I worked in billing, not actually talking on the lines. But ocassionally you'd get someone wanting to get busy with you. I think the operators made approx $10 an hour.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

kind of like jazz improv singing. (really = shit fetish stuff)

(yes plz to stories chris)

argh inevitable x-post

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Here's where I worked, they obviously are trying to pass it off as a legit joint.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Did you try beating Zelda with the Power Glove?

http://www.poprocksandcoke.com/img/7/powerglove.jpg
"...It's so rad."

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

skeet bop biddley a bop dweet dweet doo bow

Ally, I don't know how the phone sex industry is set up at all, but after seeing "Girl 6" I would be all paranoid about a regular caller going all psycho-Columbo and tracking you down. (Perhaps it is not best to base my opinions on a fictional Spike Lee movie, but we work with what we've got.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

("the talk" was given to me via a dr. james dobson book

My high school was named after Dr. James Dobson, just FYI.

The other problem is that I dunno if I could do it with a straight face.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Be prepared....

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-one years ago)

its not a power glove, it's a love glove. dude's a visage fan, yo.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:41 (twenty-one years ago)

The beauty is you don't have to do it with a straight face. Perhaps tickling fetish chatlines are for you.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-one years ago)

I suspect that you'd find the job first intriguing, then tedious, then soul-destroyingly boring. In 3 months you'd be desperate to find something else. But it'd give you good dinner-party stories for a while, and you might kinda enjoy it some of the time.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

my friend applied a few years ago to one of the operators wanted ads in the back of the voice, and for that particular company she would have made $12/hr plus time-based bonuses. she bombed the "interview," though, which is one of my all-time favorite stories: the woman in charge of hiring was an extremely obese middle-aged lady with a bad home perm and crushing brooklyn accent. to my friend's apparently vanilla answers, she kept repeating, "fine. okay. but let's say he wants something a little more, uh... ya know... raunchy?"

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

most guys who call those lines just want to hear a friendly voice that they can tell their worries to.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, and on a not so amusing note, i have another friend who did it for a while in the bay area. she ended up having such a hidden aptitude for it that she was quickly promoted up through the salary ranks, becoming the phone equivalent of the four-figure call girl that tep mentions above. the catch was that by the end she was dealing almost exclusively rape/incest/gangbang scenarios. she didn't make it more than a few weeks at that point and claims to still have dreams about it.

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I didn't think of that. This is not the profession for me then.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 2 December 2003 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

That's bound to happen (not "almost exclusively," I mean, but "sometimes") at any level of the paycheck pyramid, I think -- no matter how "themed" the service is ("baster buddies, nothing but turkey action 24-7"), you'll end up with callers who want something else. Everyone I know hit her squick zone in a week or so, although that's not really the end of the world in of itself.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 18:51 (twenty-one years ago)

ally would be the phone-sex lady who deals exclusively with pie-sex and flock of seagulls-style sad porn fantasies, and zombie blowjobs. at the top price, of course.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:08 (twenty-one years ago)

there's all sorts of punk rock and emo p00rn out there, why not sad twee phone sex?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

sample call:

"tell me it's okay, tell me I'm nearly an adequate lover"

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:11 (twenty-one years ago)

a trip down ILX memory lane ... it's a little long:

"fruit pies"? wtf, do you DJ in gay bars or something?
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 24th, 2003.

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"fruit pies"? wtf, do you DJ in gay bars or something?
oh, and a meat pie would be like much more heterosexual wouldn't it tad. this says more abt you than me...

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), July 24th, 2003.

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and who in this bitch can link to the "clown porn" thread then?
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 24th, 2003.

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I never knew pies had sexual preferences until now.
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 24th, 2003.

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anyway, due to my not liking fruit or vegetables, anything not meat = fruit to me
-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), July 24th, 2003.

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you mean you never read "little jack horner"? that shit's teeming with double entendres! what do they have you columbia students reading nowadays anyway?
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 24th, 2003.

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JOHN STUART MILL NEVER COVERED THE PIE SEX, I FEEL SO GYPPED!
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 24th, 2003.

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"meat pies" = butch
"fruit pies" = fem

-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 24th, 2003.

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on the other hand, little jack horner also never said "nigga please"!
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 24th, 2003.

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"meat pies" = butch
"fruit pies" = fem
= all pies r gay!

-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), July 24th, 2003.

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Yeah, I think it was Old King Cole who was like all "Nigga please!" when those mofos gave him a pie filled with goddamned live blackbirds, what is that shit? That is NOT a gay pie, that's fucking hardcore S&M pie.
-- Ally (mlescau...), July 24th, 2003.

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especially if you put yr ass in it!
-- Dave Stelfox (destelfo...), July 24th, 2003.

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banana cream pie takes on a whole new meaning.
-- JuliaA (loginnam...), July 24th, 2003.

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ME SEEN NUFF OF U FASSYGEEK WITH TA MUCH TIME PLAYIN ON KEYBOARD WIT DEM PIECE OF SHIT LIKE DEM DILDO TING U GET FOR DEM INTANET PIESEX FLEX. U KNOW WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT I SEEN DEM VIDEO WIT 2 CHICHI WIT REMOTE CONTROL BANANACREMEPIE-DILDA FLEXIN EACH OTHER OVER NET.
-- Tad (llamasfu...), July 24th, 2003.

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Best thread of the year, clearly.
-- Ned Raggett (ne...), July 24th, 2003.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:15 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, now MY head hurts!

― Jeremy the Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

most guys who call those lines just want to hear a friendly voice that they can tell their worries to.

At $3.99/minute? Tis cheaper to rent-a-psychiatrist.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 22:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Or get a FRIEND.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Tuesday, 2 December 2003 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 18 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

D'oh!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:35 (twenty-one years ago)

HAhahaha now I will NEVER post to that thread!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Punch Drunk Love to thread

― JaXoN (JasonD), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 03:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Why don yoo jus becum an Dominatrix, Al?

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely you don't have to be female to be a phone sex operator?

I remember watching a daytime talkshow (Maury perhaps) and one day it was phone sex operators and one of them was a black dude whose working name was Raven.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Was he a shemale?

― Prude (Prude), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:26 (twenty-one years ago)

100% guystud.

― Leee Majors (Leee), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Aren't there also dudes in the phone-sex industry who are hired because they can convincingly "play" women?

― jaymc (jaymc), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Is there a shortage of women or som'n?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:49 (twenty-one years ago)

There's enough of a surplus that it can be hard to get work if you can't do an accent (accents are in), so I'd think the female impersonators are the rare exceptions ... but I could be making inaccurate generalizations from secondhand anecdote, too.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1890159484.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
http://cartalk.cars.com/About/Drive-Now/Images/sex.gif

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 06:57 (twenty-one years ago)

My friend did the text version while she was at NYU. Her boyfriend did it too, but he made her cover all of his shifts. She seemed happy with the pay, and the co. gave her a laptop to work on.

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

I can do any sort of accent! I am intrigued by this "text version", tell me more?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

This was at the beginning of the internet highway, back in '93-'94 or so... I think she maybe made about $13 an hour... She had all of these different aliases... one was a cheerleader...

― Mary (Mary), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude. Al. Go work at one of those S&M bars. They're down for College Chix.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

...and you get to hit people.

― ModJ (ModJ), Wednesday, 3 December 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

The text version sounds much better. Go for that.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 December 2003 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

My alter ego was Ty Webb, I was a yeti.

― Chris B. Sure (Chris V), Thursday, 4 December 2003 13:46 (twenty-one years ago)

ally are u not worried that chris penn will whack
your head in with a big rock ?

― piscesboy, Thursday, 4 December 2003 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

seven months pass...

i just spent an hour om phonesex!!!!!!!what do i do

― keezo, Sunday, 1 August 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Clean up the mess, you skanky ho!

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Sunday, 1 August 2004 07:07 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

I WILL PAY

― luriqua, Sunday, 26 August 2007 00:34 (eighteen years ago)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=O-iQpwT0T7E

― latebloomer, Sunday, 26 August 2007 00:37 (eighteen years ago)

I know a girl who was an operator, briefly. She said they made her pretend to be different ethnicities and do hammy accents.

― Hurting 2, Sunday, 26 August 2007 00:39 (eighteen years ago)

My gf had a roomate who did this for a while. Gf said she'd try to distract roomie from fake-orgasm-efforts by throwing sandwich meat at her.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 26 August 2007 01:42 (eighteen years ago)

Your girlfriend should have set up a phone line promising just that for interested callers. She'd make a mint.

― Ned Raggett, Sunday, 26 August 2007 01:46 (eighteen years ago)

Gf said she'd try to distract roomie from fake-orgasm-efforts by throwing sandwich meat at her.

"Oh yes! Pelt me with your meat!"

― accentmonkey, Sunday, 26 August 2007 07:24 (eighteen years ago)

i find pastrami to be the most sensual of the salty cured meats

― tehresa, Sunday, 26 August 2007 07:47 (eighteen years ago)

i should've listened to jimmy the mod

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 27 August 2007 16:56 (eighteen years ago)

you should've combined fantasy football with phone sex

― brownie, Monday, 27 August 2007 17:57 (eighteen years ago)

and pastrami

― latebloomer, Monday, 27 August 2007 18:05 (eighteen years ago)

that's just called every sunday, guys.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Monday, 27 August 2007 18:07 (eighteen years ago)

three months pass...

i dont mind being the sad bastid who owns up to having paid for phone sex a couple of times. did it a few times out of 'necessity' (and cos i dont feel right paying for sex) and curiosity but apart from a couple of instances of satisfying dirty talk, a fair amount of the PSOs were wastes of money.

― mr x, Sunday, 16 December 2007 21:53 (seventeen years ago)

What are you wearing?

― The Reverend, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:13 (seventeen years ago)

"The Dirty Reverend" needs a line of his own.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:28 (seventeen years ago)

Take off your panties.

― The Reverend, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:35 (seventeen years ago)

I'd just like to point out that I still have never posted to that clown porn thread.

― HI DERE, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:38 (seventeen years ago)

Rub your nipple.

― The Reverend, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:41 (seventeen years ago)

Now I'm kind of wishing I'd never posted to this thread.

― HI DERE, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:41 (seventeen years ago)

Let me see your non-multitasking pussy.

― The Reverend, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:42 (seventeen years ago)

you do feel ripped off when the pso makes no effort to do her job properly but what can you do? theres no 'money back' offer.

― mr x, Sunday, 16 December 2007 22:45 (seventeen years ago)

I used to have a next-door neighbor whose second job was phone sex (and now I wish I'd asked her more about the biz).

Her first job was something at Planned Parenthood.

-- j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, December 3, 2003 3:24 AM (4 years ago)

I think I know this person!

― Eazy, Monday, 17 December 2007 19:36 (seventeen years ago)

you do feel ripped off when the pso makes no effort to do her job properly but what can you do? theres no 'money back' offer.

woe. the pso ho was so distracted eating her pho to go and reading poe that it was a waste of my dough, bro

― dell, Monday, 17 December 2007 19:49 (seventeen years ago)

what a bad jo

― max, Monday, 17 December 2007 19:50 (seventeen years ago)

the psoriasis host

― Just got offed, Monday, 17 December 2007 19:52 (seventeen years ago)

phoney psoriasis, at that

― dell, Monday, 17 December 2007 20:00 (seventeen years ago)

kekekekeke

― Just got offed, Monday, 17 December 2007 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

snail mail sex is pretty hot

― dell, Monday, 17 December 2007 20:03 (seventeen years ago)

"Yup, still gardening. Am getting down and dirty with a hoe."

― Just got offed, Monday, 17 December 2007 20:05 (seventeen years ago)

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