Your petty public transport fiascos here

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

Waterloo Station, on my way home. Oh great, the first train to stop at Queenstown Rd, my stop, leaves in 2 minutes! I run for my train, find a seat. Train sits there, 2 minutes go by, 5, 10, 15 minutes go by. People reading their newspapers, displaying small signs of tetchiness, nothing major. If this was Paris, there's have been a minor insurrection by now. Finally the announcement - train delayed due to 'lack of driver'. What does this mean? They forgot to schedule one, or the driver's having a pint across the road and forgot the time, what? The minutes go by... fuck I'm stuck here and in the meantime probably 2 or 3 trains stopping at Queenstown Rd have already gone by... fuck! I'm just about to get off when there's a new announcement... train cancelled, get the one on platform 17 instead. Fuck it! OK, so we all hurry over to platform 17, find our seats. I leaf listlessly through a discarded copy of the Standard. I could have bloody walked to bloody Queenstown Rd by now!!! The minutes go by, nothing, NOTHING happens. Even British upper lips are beginning to unstiffen now. 5, 10, 15 minutes, what the FUCK is going on? Finally the announcement: they've 'found' a driver, but the train will, as originally, be leaving from platform 19. Jesus Christ, are there any new levels of incompetency to be scaled? And what's this about 'finding' the driver? Where in the hell was he hidden in the first place? We all move back to platform 19. It's exactly the same train as before. We sit there. Once again, the minutes pass. Finally those little noises of the train booting up. And finally, we get going!! The train driver comes on over the PA with a sort of airline-pilot style patter: "Good evening ladies & gentlemen, we would like to apologise, bla bla bla, cruising speed, outside temperature bla bla bla. I would like to inform passengers that due to timetable problems this train will NOT be stopping at Vauxhall or Queenstown Rd, or repeat this train will NOT be.... AAAAAAAAAAARRRGGG

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 4 December 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

the first story in "Thurber Carnival" wd be right up yr alley, Jonathan

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 4 December 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Was that yesterday, Jonathan? I think I came in at the tail end of that. Of course, going to Barnes I didn't have to worry about it, but there were some pretty cryptic messages from the announcer. In the end I shrugged and got back to my book, after only changing trains twice.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

this is the 20th london transport related thread this week isn't it? they think we're just fascinated by the weather but no, bus/train aggro has surpassed drizzle mania.

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:08 (twenty-two years ago)

(x-post)

Yep, yesterday...

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:09 (twenty-two years ago)

anyway this is far from petty. it's the kind of thing that pisses me off because it should never happen. i think the public/commuters need to start kicking more arse and throwing their weight around (even tho there's no room in the carriages to do so)

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

It took me twenty minutes (at least) to do Baker street to Finchley road this morning on the metropolitan line. :o(

― chris (chris), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Does anyone else succumb to tube rage? While heading home on the Northern Line last nite I was sat next to some dude who stuck the point of his elbow all the way across the armrest and right into the side of my arm, from Kings Cross all the way to Charing Cross. I kept shifting my arm to indicate how uncomfortable this was, but this just caused him to dig his elbow in harder. In the end I was so enraged that, when he got up at his station, I "accidentally" scuffed my shoe into the side of his ankle. He turned round and berated me, but had to get off before the doors closed, otherwise I think he might have given me a slap. But for a second there I knew what it was to reach Barry-Lasagne level fury.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

I do think the stiff-upper-lip take-it-on-the-chin attitude of the British public has something to do with the fact that things like the trains have been allowed to get so bad. In France, there is no way anything like the tube 'public private partnership' balls-up would ever have got anywhere near being implemented. Drivers would have gone on indefinite strike, there'd be mass protests in the street, etc., etc.

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

A few years ago, my wife and I were travelling by train from Newport to London with booked seats and the whole kaboodle, what with it being our honeymoon. The train (one of those HST types with an engine at each end) speeds away from Newport, slowly crawls through the Severn Tunnel and finally crawls to a halt around two miles from Bristol Parkway station. After half an hour an announcement is made.

"We apologise for the delay on this train, this is due to the front engine breaking down. We're trying to restart it and we'll be on the move as soon as possible".

Nothing happens for a further half an hour, and my wife and I are busy watching some sheep in a field. People are getting tetchy and bored now. A second announcement is made.

"We apologise again for the delay to this service, this is due to the front engine breaking down. While trying to restart the front engine, we had to stop the rear engine and now that won't restart either. We do apologise for this blah blah blah."

In the meantime, there is another train to London waiting behind us and not getting past. Eventually the rear engine restarts and the train crawls through to Bristol Parkway where it finally dies a death. Everyone gets out and is reassured by announcements that they can catch the train that was behind us.

Only the train behind us is late, so makes an executive decision to not stop at Bristol Parkway, shooting through at top speed with our trainful of passengers watching it in amazement.

By now my wife and I are furious and see a train pulling in on the next platform which is going to Plymouth or Southampton or somewhere down south. We rush for it, catch it and make our way to Bristol Temple Meads where we change and catch another train to London which proceeds to crawl to London because - irony of ironies - the front engine has also broken down!

We arrive in London three and a half hours late, missing the afternoon show we were supposed to see, and very pissed off. A letter of complaint to BR netted us £100 worth of train travel vouchers which were used to get me to see the Trembling Blue Stars gig at Notting Hill Arts Centre a few months later.

― Rob M (Rob M), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Is this where I confess that I flick bogies at people that have annoyed me on the tube?

― chris (chris), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I once had to crawl out of a train and down a rat infested subway tunnel to get out of a completely broken subway train; you all have nothing to complain about! Actually that was far more cool than a petty fiasco. A petty fiasco would be the fact that every single time I take Amtrak, I get trapped in Metropark, NJ, which is still a place I am convinced does not actually exist per se.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Rob M., not much has changed since your story...

Newport station, Monday 5:15 pm. We get on the fast First Great Western service to Paddington (normal journey time: approx 1hr 45mins). After a ten minute wait, a barely audible on-train announcement advises people to change at Bristol Temple Meads. Confusion expressed as train meant to be going via Bristol Parkway. Another announcement advises train is terminating at this station, passengers advised to join train at platform 3. Train at platform 3 is 2-carriage Wessex Alphaline stopping service to Exeter St. Davids. Everyone crowds on to 75% smaller train and awaits further info. No announcement forthcoming for 15 minutes then train moves off. Myself and other London-bound passengers flag down steward and ask what's happening, steward advises that the Severn Tunnel has flooded and we should change at Gloucester which will be the first stop. We settle in for long journey around the top of the Severn Estuary. Half an hour later, we stop at Severn Tunnel Junction. Then Patchway. At this point another barely audible announcement tells us the train is not going to Gloucester and gives impression it will be necessary to change here (Patchway = tiny halt in the middle of nowhere). London passengers erupt, besiege the only visible member of the train staff - the chap with the refreshments trolley - and demand answers. To his credit, he goes off and comes back with the goods, advising us to stay on until Bristol Temple Meads. This we do and, after another half hour wait, our journey resumes and finishes without incident. Total journey time: around 5 hours.

― robster (robster), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

A young girl asked me if the seat next to me was taken. I said "Yes, Pedro the Cruel sits there."

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, Robster, Monday was a superb night to be travelling First Great Western. My 15 year old godson was travelling from Newport to Cardiff to meet me for his birthday present, a Muse gig. He arrived at Newport at 4:30 and finally got to Cardiff at 5:50. It was his first train journey on his own, bless him, and he hated every second of it.

― Rob M (Rob M), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

And then, when he thought it couldn't get any worse, he went to see Muse.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I presume he got his own back because I hated every minute of Muse. He thought it was 'awesome'. Bless the innocence of youth.

― Rob M (Rob M), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally describe the subway story in more detail or is it elsethread?

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 4 December 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

People in the way tend to get a shoulder barge from me. Quite a hard one if I don't like the look at them/they are an old lady/they are Julio.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 4 December 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Jonathan's story reminds me of several misadventures at London Bridge Station. I won't go into any specifics, but suffice it to say that Sunday was always the worst day (happily I no longer live in that part of the world). Why is it that these fuckers assume that nobody travels on a Sunday? They also seem to assume that those naive twats who do leave their homes on the Christian Sabbath do not care a monkeys about dull things like communication with the passenger and so forth.

― Daniel (dancity), Thursday, 4 December 2003 23:13 (twenty-two years ago)

The subway story is elsethread but I can't find it, I did a search on "Ally subway" and came up with all sorts of stories about me on the subway EXCEPT that one. Anyway, the train apparently just completely died, I forget the exact situation--IIRC the tracks flooded out at an upcoming station so they shut down the entire electricity to the line for obvious reasons, though maybe I'm thinking of ANOTHER time I got trapped on a subway. Anyway after about 45 minutes they finally just gave up on fixing it and started directing people to get out of the front car via the pried open door, shimmy down to the proper front of the train, and carefully work their way to the station up the track, climbing back up to the platform and then going on their merry way. There was this woman in front of me the entire time screaming "Oh no! You do not think I am going to go into that subway tunnel! Oh no!" which was really funny. There were loads of rats and I was wearing very fancy clothing, stiletto heels and a proper silk skirt! These were all psuedo-ruined, obviously. It was the middle of the summer too so it was gross and hot. I was on my way from a work party to my logic class at school! I missed the class, obviously.

I really have very poor luck on public transit; my planes are always cancelled or seriously delayed (the worst was an almost 20 hour stay in the Orlando airport right after 9/11 with an Israeli boyfriend, which made us HUGE FAVORITES of the security staff) and my subways are always the ones with the sick passengers or technical problems and my trains always get stalled. This is why I walk as many places as possible and love to be in cars!

― Allyzay, Friday, 5 December 2003 04:30 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm tempted to volunteer for one of those staff training exercises they do in which they enact a passenger evacuation of the tunnel - thought it might help me get over my own 'Tube fear' but not done it yet.

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 5 December 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

tube rage? i could be here all fucking day. wearing headphones massively suppresses the urge to headbutt people, but i CAN NOT FUCKING IGNORE the selfish/vacuous/thoughtless fucks who stand on the platform IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DOORS and try to barge their way on to the train AS SOON AS THE DOORS ARE OPEN, completely ignoring the fact that there are THIRTY FUCKING PEOPLE trying to get out of the carriage first. i mean, wtf? do they not fucking realise that if they get out of the fucking way and let more than one person trickle off the train at a time, theyll get in there a whole lot quicker? after four and a half years in london, im still not inured to it.

standing in the carriage waiting for the doors to open gazing at the middle distance over the tops of the people on the platforms heads (after a cursory check to make sure none of the people on front of me are very old/very young/pregnant/crippled: im not a monster or something) then walking blithely off the train and through the middle of all these stupid fucks as if they just werent there does help calm me down a little, though.

― emsk, Friday, 5 December 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I hate people who stand in front of the doors too, but once I was at Finsbury park and there was a huge crowd of people on the platform. The train came in and the people behind me started pushing in. I was pushing back, trying to make room for people to get off the train. The guy on the train rammed his shoulder into my face as he stepped off the train and it hurt and I started to cry.

― marianna, Friday, 5 December 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Emsk, the bargers are the ones who get my shoulder most frequently, or my elbow if I'm feeling in an ABH kind of mood. One wonder what I'd do if Julio was one of them.

(Marianna, I don't *think* that was me :))

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

It was a pretty bad situation - the platform was completely packed. I thought someone was get pushed in front of an oncoming train. Also once on the W7 a teenage girl hit me on the top of my head (really hard on purpose) as she was getting off the bus for no apparent reason - I also started to cry then.

― marianna, Friday, 5 December 2003 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, the rage of being falsely accused of these Tube crimes - once on an utterly packed northbound Northern line train from London Bridge I found myself squashed up against the doors and half-swept out of the carriage when we arrived at Bank and the financial types piled out.

I grabbed hold of the door frame, keeping myself half inside and then swung back in as soon as I was physically capable. To the last few disembarkers this looked like I was boarding at Bank and pushing on early. At least two people muttered "Wanker" under their breath.

B-but...!

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Friday, 5 December 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

An old fella was turfed off my bus in Leytonstone this morning because it was "too early, guvnor"

He was so perplexed I alomst explained to him that his pass prohibited travel before 9am. But then a cute looking girl got on and made me forget.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Friday, 5 December 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

A good tip for getting out of tube trains is to wheel away like Mario Kempes after his second goal in the 1978 world cup final.

― MikeyG (MikeyG), Friday, 5 December 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

marianna, thats rubbish, im sorry! a girl once waylaid me in brixton tube station and started laying into me with her handbag, screaming abuse. ive no idea who she was or why she did it, maybe she mistook me for someone else. i was in such shock i didnt even have time to react before she was gone.
luckily (for me and for everyone else) im not normally on the tube at rush hour, due to starting and finishing work at a civilised hour, so the people in front of the doors are there through choice, not being pushed...

― emsk, Friday, 5 December 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Aww, Marianna. There is a certain kind of eeeevil future-statistic 15 year old girl on buses who gives me the Proustian abdabs, probably because of who I was at 15. I'm sure if one of them hit me in public I'd go A.P.E.S.H.I.T.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 5 December 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

the farty-three stopped at Highbury Corner today. no explanation. "Everybody off!!!" so i got off and walked to Angel. as i approached Pentonville Road i saw the empty 43 coming up behind me.. hahahaha why do i bother??

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 5 December 2003 16:58 (twenty-two years ago)

You haven't seen your girl in three months and you are ON THE INTERWEB. Mentalist.

― suzy (suzy), Friday, 5 December 2003 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

So is Tracer boning a celebrity?

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 5 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

we have these bus passes here in oxford where you put yr pass in the machine and it goes bleep to say its valid and then you go and sit down. only occasionally, the valid pass gets damaged in some way so it goes bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep which is normally the thing that means its invalid, so you have to show it to the driver to prove that its a bona fide valid ticket.

i haven't had any problems with the bus company I travel with now, but with the old one on one occasion my pass got swallowed up by the machine! And the driver didn't have a key! So I had to go to the bus garage at the end of the day to trtrieve the ticket and the bus driver had to spend the whole day saying to his passengers "Don't put yr pass in there, show it to me!"

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 6 December 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

on my way home to Oxford after Belle & Sebastian on Friday i felt a bit peckish so I went into McDonalds at Marble Arch. I ordered a big mac, fries and a Coke but decided to eat in as it was quite a while before my bus was due. However, by the time the bus was due, I had finished my food but still had half of my drink left. I got on the bus, the driver punched my ticket and then he asked "Where's the rest of your McDonalds?". "There isn't any, I just have a drink" I replied. He looked at me sceptically and then started to pat my chest with his hands to make sure I hadn't stuffed the food up my jacket. This made me very annoyed. I could see why he wouldn't want ppl eating food on his bus, but I was cross that he didn't believe me when I said I hadn't got any food.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

i waited at Turnpike Lane bus station on Saturday night for FIFTY minutes but no 123 turned up. the plan to journey to Walthamstow was abandones. i trudged home, cold and in mild despair.

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe he just wanted to pat your chest Mark. Ew.

― Archel (Archel), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

You should complain. If they ban food, that's fair enough BUT they don't have the right to feel you up to look for it.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

you should've got a 231, 217, 444 or 144 to Edmonton (Cambridge) and then got a 34 to Walthamstow, Stevem. a roundabout route I know, but the aforementioned bus routes are much more frequent than the 123.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I do feel like complaining Suzy, but what good would it do?

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Archel, what's so ew about Mark's chest?

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark, I don't know if the driver would get disciplined but if you were feeling less than happy with this it DOES count as assault whatever so they'd have to take it seriously if you complain.

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

appreciated Mark H but it was TMFD to get to Cabbage's gaff i fear

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

It took me five hours to get from Gloucester back to good old Lndon Town last night. It usually takes two hours, but hey, at least from Reading I got a train to Waterloo and jumped straight onto a 171 aaaaaall the way home. It almost made up for it!

At Reading my hands were so cold I could no longer hold open UNFINISHED TALES so I had to phone RickyT and ask him why Galadriel got exiled in the first place. We came up with the solution that she was an irritating bint.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Archel, what's so ew about Mark's chest?

well it's got a BigMac stuck against it!!!

(sorry mark!)

― ken c, Monday, 8 December 2003 11:34 (twenty-two years ago)

The 123 can be an absolute bastard. I once waited outside Tottenham police station for over an hour, so long that I phoned up the london transport help line to ask if there was a problem on the service. About 10 mins later I got a very cheerful chappy saying that no, there wasn't a problem, just one with the 123 itself, as so many people phoned up waiting for it all the time. My brain must have been slightly frozen as it was only 10 mins later that it dawned on me that I should have asked him if there had been so many complaints why LT wasn't having it out with the operator then...

― Vicky (Vicky), Monday, 8 December 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.