Given the opportunity, would you sleep around if you were absolutely certain your partner could never find out?

Maybe I don't understand cause I've not been in a relationship long enough for it to get boring enough to want to sleep around... but what would be the point?

a lot of people disagree with this outlook, however. including my partner.

If you want to be with someone, then be with them. If you want to be with someone else, or else you want to sleep around, then be single. Maybe this is too simplistic a dichotomy, but I just don't understand being any other way.

Let's shag.

(Joke, btw)

i know what kate means in re terminology, but this sounds kind of humane really.

BILL : What makes me an exception is that...I
happen to be in love with you and because
we're married and because I would never lie to
you or hurt you.

ALICE: Do you realize that what you're saying is that
the only reason you wouldn't fuck those two
models is out of consideration for me, not
because you really wouldn't want to?

BILL: Let's just relax, Alice. This pot is making you
aggressive.

"I mean, even Bono cheats on his wife, and he's next to God!" - The Boy

UK ILX = "Coupling"!!!!!!

They weren't queueing up, admittedly. But they don't. (unless you are vaguely famous apparently, but anyway)

If it's not OK for your partner, then it's not OK for you. End of story.

The funny thing is, my partner is fairly secure, and has even joked about me shagging other people. I don't find these jokes funny, because if he shagged someone else, I'd go mental and definitely leave him.

I totally agree. What I meant by "heavy romanticised emotional attachment to sex" is that sex does not always automatically equal love. Having sex with someone doesn't mean that person loves you or even likes you, which ties back into your comment about emotions note being something to toy with. Trust and honesty are important in any relationship, not just a sexual or Relationship relationship.

Hah hah! Tell him we're off the see the Channel Six and see how secure he is! ;)

Maybe he's just trying to tell you he wants to see you and some of those ladies from that Renault commercial shake your groove thing ensemble. *rrrrrggglllllleeeee!!!!*

i.e. not the same.

However, the one time that he did actually get jealous and weird was in regards to the C6. (Even though that's a crush that's so dead I forget it ever meant something to me.) I said that you wanted to take me to see Dan C6, and he said "Who's Dan C6?" and I said "the boy that Channel Heaven is about" and he just got this supremely pissed off look and said "you're sacked!"

Conversely, I would never admit I fancied any girl (famous) to her. mostly as I don't. (That doesn't look right, but I'll leave it like that)

Maybe he's just trying to tell you he wants to see you and some of those ladies from that Renault commercial shake your groove thing ensemble. *rrrrrggglllllleeeee!!!!*

eh?

yeah, and he wasn't even the reason we were going! he was just an opening act!

I bet that has a lot to do with the art produced as a side effect of that crush. "Channel Heaven" is a luverly song and he's probably just moaning that there aren't any luverly songs about him on yummylicious thick raspberry vinyl.

I would like to see a culture than can institutionalise a woman having more than one husband or a harem instead of the other way around.

(x-post. sorta)

I'm way too lazy to even think about dealing with someone who doesn't know what I like in bed.

ha ha. Just kidding.

But seriously, folks. I love my bf so much that I'm not having sex these whole 2 weeks he's out of the state. Isn't that amazing?

Sex without love is like sharing potato waffles without love.

It doesn't always have to equate to sex either. I'd love to be able to cuddle and have a snog/be physically close to a few of my lovely male friends. I choose not to because I know Nick would be upset about it. But we can both happily perv on people (of either sex) and tell each other about it and not get upset. Now THATS trust if you ask me. Hell, I was telling Jim about someone I crush on the other night and Nick was sitting right next to me and didnt mind a bit.

Cos he knows I lub him!

if you were absolutely certain your partner could never find out?

Is the bit that bugs the shit out of me. Even what Catty is talking about is something very different from this. IF you are the type of person that wants/needs a flexible or open relationship, that's still very different from the subject of this thead. Because in infidelity, it's not the SEX that hurts and destroys the relationship, it's the lying. It's called infidelity for a reason.

I think what is being asked in this thread is "would you sleep around if you were absolutely certain that your partner COULD NOT GET HURT BY IT" which is NOT the same thing as not finding out/knowing about it. Not finding out/not knowing actually makes it WORSE because lying and betrayal of trust compounds the actual sex.

What Catty wants is a "get out of relationship free card" for fantasy.

The only way I could possibly see it as being OK is if both partners were aware of, and OK with it. And I am just not that kind of person. (Not a value judgement, BTW. It's just not in my personality.)

That scenario before (polyamorous), I know if my favourite girlfrend was getting cuddly w/someone else, i'd just get sulky.

It's not for me, but yeah I've seen it happen. It doesn't work though, not as well...