unwitty sayings

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god! i get really irritated by unwitty overused comments that people make, thinking that they are somehow funny or entertaining. one of the worsts is "opinions are like assholes, everybody has one" apparently not everyone has a brain!!!!!!!!! anyway, list these offensive phrases here.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHA, my entire posting history to thread.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 5 December 2003 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

monty python to thread.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

NOT!

― andy, Friday, 5 December 2003 23:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"god!" or "!!!!!!!!!"

both of those come to mind.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"well fuck me sideways.....and call me Susan...." etc.

Ben friggin Elton.

― pete s, Friday, 5 December 2003 23:17 (twenty-one years ago)

All variants of 'rayap is crayap'

― F. Anthony O'Reilly (Ferg), Friday, 5 December 2003 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thebigt.com/verizon.jpg
Everyone I've seen use a microphone in the last year has used this.

― David Beckh0u5e (Dave Beckh0u5e), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Agree with Andy re 'not' at the end of a sentence in case I, the listener, am too bloody dim to pick up the irony.

Whoever wrote the 'Caine Mutiny' script (where Bogart/Captain Queeg said 'I kid you not' at the end of every second sentence) must be appalled at the monster he helped create.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:08 (twenty-one years ago)

'You shouldn't assume. It just makes an ass of u and me'

'There is no I in teamwork'

'The only place you'll see success before work is in the dictionary'

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:10 (twenty-one years ago)

"you don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!"

AAARGH DIE

― Trayce (trayce), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

There is no teamwork in I.

― Leee Trevino (Leee), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i like changing these in silly ways, or using them out of context.

"opinions are like assholes, they taste like roast beef"

ahem.

"i like my coffee like my women, cold and sorta weak."

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I like my coffee how I like my women - ANALLY

― F. Anthony O'Reilly (Ferg), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"i like my ____ like my women, ______ and ______" is infinite in its possibilities.

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 6 December 2003 00:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"that's so wrong in so many ways" "that's disturbing"/"i'm traumatised" as expressions of shock and disbelief

― minna (minna), Saturday, 6 December 2003 01:53 (twenty-one years ago)

or eddie izzards variation: "i like my women like i like my coffee: in a polystyrene cup"

― jed (jed_e_3), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"You're shittin' in my mouth and callin' it a Sundae!"

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually I like that one.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:14 (twenty-one years ago)

"I've got to drop the kids off at the pool." I apologize for my scat-centric posts.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"No shit, Sherlock!"
"Smooth move, Ex-Lax!"
"Here's a quarter, call someone who cares!"
"Life is like a box of chocolates..."

sadly I have already said three of the above today. I said them in an ironical way, which makes it a lot worse.

― Poppy (poppy), Saturday, 6 December 2003 02:39 (twenty-one years ago)

minna is SOOOOO correct. It's a way for boring people to dramatize completely benign situations, or perhaps to clarify with "humor" that they are so well-kept and discerning that such and such phenomenon/event/sight unsettles them, though they can HANDLE it and it's even FUNNY to them. Ha! ha! I'm also looking at those of you on ILX who totally overreact to a slightly weird picture or sexualized comment with the "I've been traumatized here guys!" tone except to praise the poster of said shock's provenance.

― Dancing Queen, Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:37 (twenty-one years ago)

!" tone except to praise the poster of said shock's provenance.

dancing queen you sound like C*l*m!

― Orbit (Orbit), Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Also! People that say, "Ooo....kay?" like they're very weirded out by something you just asked or did, usually without any justification aside from trying to make the situation or yourself seem "crazy."

"Wow, I haven't had an ice cream bar this good since the days of Regal!"

"Ooooooooooo KAY????"

"Oh, Regal was this company that made really upscale dark chocolate ice cream like five years ago. It's not that weird."

"Ooooooooo Kay then."

― Dancing Queen, Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah I know I'm not allowed to talk shit about anything anyone here does, but I'm not even close to Calum. Ooooo KAY?!?

― Dancing Queen, Saturday, 6 December 2003 03:44 (twenty-one years ago)

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