when people dont get that you are joking

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

ok so its more tricky online to convey humour in some instances unless you resort to 'emote-type things', but sometimes i am stunned at the reaction from the person on the receiving end of my comments, both IRL and online.
do i really need to submit a stupid smiley face before every comment? in real life too? i must be talking to the wrong people!
anyone else have this problem?

― donna (donna), Sunday, 7 December 2003 06:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I've learned it's easier to use emoticons a lot. I get made fun of sometimes but my meaning is a lot clearer...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 7 December 2003 07:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Stop starting stupid threads, commie;)

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 7 December 2003 07:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Ned you are a pansy for using smileys. ;-)

― Leee Trevino (Leee), Sunday, 7 December 2003 07:32 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nhc.rtp.nc.us:8080/images/donogh5.jpg

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 7 December 2003 08:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you're a rich fucking motherfucker who owes me a fucking shitload of fuckin' cash, that's what I fuckin' think, you rich motherfuckin' motherfucker! You want some fuckin' blow you bring me some fuckin' cash, motherfucker! Fuck you!

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 7 December 2003 08:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(But of course you know I'm just kidding, right?)

― Girolamo Savonarola, Sunday, 7 December 2003 08:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This happens to me a lot in real life, but when I smile, I usually get smacked in the face.

― Francis Watlington (Francis Watlington), Sunday, 7 December 2003 09:24 (twenty-two years ago)

haha my roommate today asked me where the lightbulbs were and i told him that i used them juggling and not to walk with barefeet in the kitchen.

his response: wait, was this today?

i am chalking it up to lack of sleep on his part.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Sunday, 7 December 2003 09:47 (twenty-two years ago)

setting: first year history of art tutorial group, hadn't met most of my classmates yet, we're doing a lame-ass exercise in exploring 'what the clothes we are wearing say about us'.

they get to me, and i think it's time for an icebreaker:

"hi, my name's mitch, and i'm wearing women's underwear!"

(cue stunned silence.)

old lady teacher: "uhm, that's.. okay, i mean.. that's good! i mean..."

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Sunday, 7 December 2003 11:22 (twenty-two years ago)

hadn't met most of my classmates yet

this bit is U&K

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 7 December 2003 12:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Half my posts are intended as jokes, lame ones granted. I'm gonna start using emoticons more :)

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 7 December 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i think I don't get that other ppl are joking more than other ppl don't get that I'm joking.

― MarkH (MarkH), Sunday, 7 December 2003 12:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Joke, shmoke, whatevah...I lost my nards in the war..i'm feeling frisky. Sleep deprivation...ellipses...are...fun...to...use...

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 7 December 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Combining an insult with a smiley in order to pass it off as "ironic" - C or D?

― man, Sunday, 7 December 2003 17:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i like following a smiley with an insult to make it clear that the smiley is evil rather than reassuring

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Sunday, 7 December 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had some problems with that, and my brother once pointed out that it's because I have a tendency to be completely sarcastic in a deadpan way, so people often don't realize it.

Anyways, I use smileys a LOT online, though it depends a lot on who I'm talking to. IE I don't use them much here, but on AIM i'll smiley myself off into a bun.

Hell, I once wrote a program that converts plain text into the text represented by smileys (Don't ask, or I'll punish you by using it on this forum!)

Obviously the best idea is to be more self-conscious about the way you write, to try to minimize the chance of people not understanding that you're joking or what have you.
Or not care too much if people take things the wrong way.
Asshole.

― Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Sunday, 7 December 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Emoticons are ugly and unsubtle, but I couldn't do without them. People who hate them and refuse to use them tend to be the people who get into the most fights and misunderstandings. Go figure.

― Markelby (Mark C), Sunday, 7 December 2003 21:15 (twenty-two years ago)

i am definitely going to be using emoticons more, even though frequent use can make me seem like a bumbling ditz, which i honestly can be at times, so i guess that doesn't really matter. i tell really bad jokes and worry that they're taken the wrong way even when i use emoticons. so i'm just going to stop joking and make the world a better place:)

― possible m (mandinina), Sunday, 7 December 2003 23:09 (twenty-two years ago)

it's much more fun when people don't get your jokes. :)

― ken c, Monday, 8 December 2003 00:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I pretty much use emoticons if the joke is targeted at someone that might not know me as well (newbie, Brit), and leave it plain if it's someone I "know" better.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 8 December 2003 00:25 (twenty-two years ago)

But even then, just occasionally a friend might be having, or might view certain words different from how you meant them, and before you know it you're having a full scale fight with them. Better safe than sorry?

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 8 December 2003 00:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Probably, you cocksucker.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 8 December 2003 01:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Last night, all pumped up and sweaty in the washroom at the club.

Me: "I'm sweating like a pedophile in a playground!"

Stranger gives me steely look.

Me: "Whatever!"

Uptight fucker.

― Dancing Queen, Monday, 8 December 2003 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

The other day, out in the world, at my favorite bar, I told someone that something-they-did was a "good schtick to have". I think he took it offensively. It makes me sad, cuz he's a cool guy.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck you fucking fuck. you think i'm joking? i said FUCK YOU

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, wrong thread (hahaha)

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:21 (twenty-two years ago)

You wanted the "pretend to be Mark C" thread, Stevem.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:24 (twenty-two years ago)

what's worse, people who don't realize you're joking or people who think you're joking when you're dead fucking serious?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

People who use the excuse "I was only joking" to cover the fact that they really are, at heart, total fucking assholes? (OK, yes, I am guilty of this myself, but still.)

― THAT Kate (kate), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

when I'm being an honest-to-gosh axe-grinding asshole, that's when people usually think I'm joking.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:42 (twenty-two years ago)

i too have done what kate has done when an insult doesnt quite take

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Just because it is a joke, doesn't mean you don't actually *mean* it.

I think that C*l*m's post up there is very very telling - the fact tht he thinks he's "joking" does not change how freaking offensive his posts are.

― THAT Kate (kate), Monday, 8 December 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd rather say (to use a recent example):

Let's shag (joke)

than

Let's shag :)

I think the lower down one is more open to misinterpretation...

― mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 11:19 (twenty-two years ago)

H.Mann picks up on the bane of my existance. "No, seriously, leave me alone." "Hahaha you are so adorably eccentric! You kick ass!" "No, for real, I fucking hate you you dirty goddamned motherfucker." "Hahaha! You're so spicy!" "ARRGH."

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The last time I punched someone was something like that. He = stole my guitar from my house. Me = "dude, what the fuck!@?!!?". He = ha ha ha ha. Me = "motherfucker! this isn't a joke!". He = ha ha ha "you're so funny". Me = *BLADOW*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

That happens to my wife all the time. There was a famous occasion in college where we were out with a big group of people and the guy next to her was getting on her nerves to the point where she interrupted him mid-sentence and said, "Look. You're an ass. I don't like you. Stop speaking to me." The guy laughed and said, "Oh, that's hilarious. Anyway..." and she turned to me and another friend and said very loudly, "Didn't I just tell him that he's an ass and he shouldn't speak to me?" The table was in hysterics and she kept saying, "What? I'm SERIOUS!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I CANNOT BE REAL SPECIFIC HERE BUT LET ME JUST SAY PEOPLE WHO CONTINUALLY WALK UP TO YOU AND TALK OVER CONVERSATIONS YOU ARE CURRENTLY HAVING AS IF YOU WEREN'T HAVING A CONVERSATION ALREADY AT ALL AND DON'T GET THE HINT EVEN WHEN YOU BLATANTLY IGNORE THEIR "CONTRIBUTIONS" IE MONOLOGUE MAKE ME A VERY SAD PANDA.

THAT IS ALL.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:35 (twenty-two years ago)

wtf?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

ie they seem to think you ignoring them or "sassing" them or blatantly just being rude to them is like your adorable "thing".

It's like no one "gets it" when I hate them but if I make a rude joke that can be taken as an insult to someone I like, they invariably take it the wrong way. How to reverse this?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Make nice; they'll (we'll? I dunno who you hate) think you're being sarky.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I think this may have less to do with people's inability to distinguish between joke and not-joke than people's unwillingness to consider that cool people like us don't find their petty little shit amusing or worthwhile.
I think I'm getting fired today. I can't decide if I should be sarcastic, morose or rub my hands together as if this is all part of the masterplan.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Burst into song (preferably a fully-choreographed Broadway tune)!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:49 (twenty-two years ago)

A couple people told me recently that they can't tell when I'm serious and joking, I found that insulting but now I'm thinking it's a quality that could be interesting if harnessed the right way. (What right way is that?)

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Confusing ILXors, Maria. Trust me.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, Maria, trust ME! Allyzay lies!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus, just don't get offended by anything that ppl say online. Assume everything is a joke if you have to. What's the problem?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, everything is just a joke to you, huh?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck you, you oversensitive twat.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahahahaha.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I really sometimes wish you all would just die already. Especially N., the world doesn't need any more racist batists.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

God I hate you so much right now.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Whatever, Kelis.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Interesting. She is singing out of my speakers right now actually. one thouusand, two thoousand...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i have given up on even trying to explain that i am joking 75% of the time anymore. people will believe what they want to believe at the end of the day.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

so, fuck it, you pieces of shit.

― fiddo centington (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

someone should invent a sarcasm font

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I DID BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

So wait, that's sarcastic, right?

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like a moebius strip in bright red letters, NA.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

thick with brains!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck off, vivisectionist.

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Bite me, goat-legs!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

vuh vuh vuh VIVI vuh vuh vuh VIVI vuh vuh vuh VIVISECTIONIST

― benny and the jets (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarcasm is an art. I grew up with it, but I usually have to write the emotion in: (hugs), (grin), (dry tone), etc. Takes longer, but it keeps down the confusion.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I almost burned a bridge and lost a friend because of misread sarcasm from me. I later did burn that bridge and lose that friend, but he knew damn well I was sincere that time!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 21:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Some people use endless, kneejerk "humour" to cover the fact that at heart, they are just a deeply offensive and socially incompetant asshole. This isn't humour. I think this is some kind of psychological sickness, and it worries me that I'm getting more and more interested in finding out *why* people are like this, and poking them to provoke them in order to see what makes them tick.

Humour requires (I think) two people laughing with each other. If only one person is laughing, does that mean that it's still humour or joking? Some offensive things are actually very funny. But not to the person being offended. Sometimes offensive things are funny because you're laughing *at* the person being offensive, rather than the "funny" thing.

Sometimes there is this feeling that the butt of the joke should lighten up. Sometimes there is the feeling that the joker should realise that he isn't funny, he's just cruel. Where do you draw the line?

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate OTM.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, thanks, but it's a question as much as a statement. Where do you draw the line between "Dude A, lighten up" and "Dude C, that isn't funny"?

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 10:49 (twenty-two years ago)

It's possible, if not likely, that both parties will be so far apart in how they view the argument that both comments are pertinent.

My view - if one person is hurt and upset by the other person, even if they *are* taking it too seriously, the other person should have some sensitivity and awareness of what they're doing and stop "joking". Of course, if there's malice involved then they probably won't.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes, I agree, actually. OMIGOD MIND MELD, WE ARE ONE, BARRY!!!

(Except your paragraph two only goes to show my initial assertation that people who consistently do this, generally do this cause they are actually assholes to start with.)

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, I didn't mean to assert that, really. Teasing/faux-insulting joking is very easy to do, and usually hard to tell if you're offending someone. If that person makes it clear, though, and you keep doing it, well, that just seems vicious.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Thanks for putting your words and neuroses in my mouth, Calum. My mouth feels all icky now.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone who tells me to "lighten up" gets it in the shins

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

None of those singers present themselves solely as 'sex objects', C****.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:10 (twenty-two years ago)

There's a certain sense of the "little boys who pull the wings off flies and laugh, cause the reaction is so funny" to people who keep going on and on, even after it's been made clear that their "sense of humour" is not appreciated and their presence is not welcome. It points to either the "streak of cruelty" that Mark talks about, or else some deeper psychological problem.

Because sooner or later, you'd think they'd get bored with it. When they DON'T get bored with it, you realise that there is somethings genuinely psychotic and disturbed going on there.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Sportique to thread!

― Sarah (starry), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:14 (twenty-two years ago)

please stop wasting your time responding to him, it all winds up in the shitcan, or replaced with teh funney gif in the end anyway.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry, Pash. I had a brief episode of fly-poking but I've seen the error of my ways now.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:50 (twenty-two years ago)

No, no, what you're saying is prefectly decent and right, but I mean it's pointless to respond to specifics, so to speak.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I poked by starting the Chris & Gwynnie thread to start with. Oh woe is me and my fun-hating ways.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

anyone who tells me to "lighten up" gets it in the shins

http://www.missionmedia.net/space/images/art_gallery/shins_thumb.gif
"What'd we ever do to you man?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

What if they tell you to tighten up?

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

tighten yr abs or tighten yr ass?

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:02 (twenty-two years ago)

ally then you break out the archie bell and drells 45 and hit the dance floor duh

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

DO THE TIGHTEN UP!

fuck your x=post in the post hole!

― Archie Bell (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.recordsnyc.com/upload/ArchBell.jpeg

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Unless you had this webpage up for 25 minutes straight, there is no way that is actually an xpost and instead you just posted my joke over again, nickalicious! That's very boring! Am I joking or am I not? Who can tell!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, it was an x-post with Ams, not you!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I ate the tele!

― Vyv (nickalicious), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

That makes your joke even worse, nick!!!! I also ate the tele!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 10 December 2003 15:09 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.