Gwynyth and Chris Martin secretly married!

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I just saw it in the newspaper in M&S!

(I also saw RickyT in the M&S but that's another story.)

Just thought you'd want an update on ILX's poster child's favourite couple...

― Guess Who (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:45 (twenty-one years ago)

A shotgun wedding!

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

(Yes. To shoot them, with gunz.)

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:49 (twenty-one years ago)

(Man, I was so hoping this thread would be mistakenly deleted for a laff.)

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

why do ppl hate coldplay so much? i mean they're better than oasis, paul weller, or the strokes ever have been. i wdn't buy they're records, but wtf? as for gwyneth, again, why is she hated on more than say, julia roberts?

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:52 (twenty-one years ago)

I hope they're very happy together - Congratulations Chris and Gwynnie!

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't hate either of them. Well, not particularly any more than anyone else. Coldplay bore me, but they've got one kinda OK-ish song, you know, and Gwynyth, well, she's kinda dull as an actress, but inoffensive. I wish them luck and congratulations!

I'm just really amused by how much the pair of them really wind up certain people.

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

here's my problem with gwyneth paltrow: she went to school with a good friend of mine and was a tormenting bully, so whenever i see her i have to think, "grrr."

― lauren (laurenp), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, well, Chris "I didn't lose my virginity till I was 21" Martin apparently nicked a girlfriend off the bandmate of an aquaintance of mine...

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 12:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I am mainly irritated by how he performs onstage, it's like he's trying to feign disability.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:00 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, I'm convinced. They're awful. Have them stoned.

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I read an interview with her in Vogue and my GAWD she's so conceited. I still find the pairing extremely odd.

I suggest throwing Gucci bags and pianos at them.

― nathalie (nathalie), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, but an English indie husband half your age is so NOW!!! Madonna is doing it, so we all have to, too!

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Guy Ritchie is indie?

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Isn't he? I don't know anything about film.

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:08 (twenty-one years ago)

Besides, anyway, the indie boyfriend is so LAST YEAR. Vogue told me that the current de rigeur accessory is the Art Guy boyfriend. They suggested Banksy, but I subsituted an alternate Banks.

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

i wonder if i qualify as Art Guy

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you make art?

― THAT Kate (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

you're more Artie Fry, Steve

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

the guy who invented Post-Its?

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

mmm

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Nice one, N!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 14:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I liked Paltrow in Emma.

I was all about the younger indie boyfriend. Mine sketches sometimes when he's bored - does that qualify as artsy?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Artie Fry is the man in the helicopter in the simpsons

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparantly, the secret is OUT.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate Julia Roberts more than Gwynnie Paltry. But I hate Gwynnie. She's overrated, untalented, and is incapable of posing for a picture without doing her stupid lopsided smirk thing.

I've got £20 that says their baby will be a girl named Hannah.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I've don't think I have a Pound Sterling symbol.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Wow, you must really hate Sterling.

― NA (Nick A.), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

hey, is Chris Martin indie? Don't you cease being indie when you Break America?

I am mainly irritated by how he performs onstage, it's like he's trying to feign disability.
Ronan OTM. He thinks he's the new Michael Stipe or something, with his Free Trade scribbles on his hand in videos. Whatever. Save the sloganeering for Kathleen Hanna, she's better at it than you, whitebread!

Oh, and the other reason I hate Gwynnie is she saw the script for Shakespeare in Love 'round Winona's house and the next thing you know, she's got the part and Winona isn't speaking to her anymore. That's a pretty slimy thing to do to your mate. Now Nonie has no one to sing Spice Girls tunes with in the mirror.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

look out below chris, i just dropped my bagel

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

(i had a feeling it was a Simpsons ref but was thinking of Artie Ziff instead - Marge's prom date ya know)

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd rather be sloganned at by Chris Martin than Kathleen Hannah, thanks. Though it's really a devil, deep blue sea situation. It's easier to ignore Chris Martin. Plus, his causes aren't anywhere near as annoying.

― Kate 22 (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris Martin should have married Kathleen Hanna, they would be a perfect match.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

WOOP WOOP

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Can you bounce with me, bounce with me.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Aw, Gwynie was mean to Winona?! I just don't know what to think any more.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

he has tractor underpants! which makes me like him a little more.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

She was! Bitch! Maybe she was mad because Nonie wouldn't share her drugs.
I agree that Chris Martin is easier to ignore than Kathleen Hanna. But I think the firebombing of Dresden would have been easy to ignore if there was a Le Tigre concert anywhere in the vicinity.
"Revolution girl stylee now! wah wah wah!"
*booooom*

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/showbiz/articles/8085985?source=Evening%20Standard

― jed (jed_e_3), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Poor old boy Mr Martin, I fear he may be the latest recipient of my positive contrarianism.

lay off him hataz, he's grebt.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 15:58 (twenty-one years ago)

...for us to POOP ON.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:11 (twenty-one years ago)

They really are kind of a "WTF?" couple, but you know, I don't understand why they inspire that kind of hatred.

― Kate 22 (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:12 (twenty-one years ago)

exactly, they're hardly out there getting in yr face are they?

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:14 (twenty-one years ago)

oh yes they are. why do I know his feet smell? because I had to hear all about how Gwynnie was on tour with them and washed his dirty socks. this is not information I needed to know and I did NOT search it out. It came to me. It came from THEM.

― Catty (Catty), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:15 (twenty-one years ago)

I think now that Bennifer has sort of dropped from the front pages, they've just become our celebrity couple target of loathing and wretching. Like how "we" started eyeing Syria as soon as we toppled Saddam's "regime."

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Bennifer was WAAAAAAYYYY more irritating.

― Kate 22 (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Just like Iraq was WAAAAAAAY more irritating than Syria. But we haven't gotten it all out of our system yet.

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:21 (twenty-one years ago)

47 answer in? Jeez, took ya long enough.

― Kate 22 (kate), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

jealous

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Catty, you say it camme froim them - ok maybe but some sap actually wrote it down and some sap actually bothered to read or listen (that would be you by the way)

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 9 December 2003 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 55 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

NO, but the ironing was delicious! Piers complaining about rubbish celeb culture etc. etc. ON THE SAME CHANNEL THAT BROUGHT US BIG BROTHER, THUS SPARKING THE RUBBISH CELEBRITISM IN EXTREMIS!!!

The program was riddled with hypocrisy. Complaining about the celebritisation of "proper people" like War Correspondants, then the next minute, complaining that we should celebritise "proper people based on merit" instead of rubbish celebs.

It was very very strange.

And the typical "let's get a bunch of sad fans off the internet and laugh at them" while showing clips about psycho stalkers condescention... But anyway. More on this later because I have a lot of work to do this morning.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:21 (twenty-one years ago)

It was also v cheap TV. I didn't see it last night, but the first two weeks were basically the same show -- interviews with same ppl (Jodie Marsh, Caprice, Damon Albran). It also evoked the 'after 9/11, everything changed' stuff. Terrible.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Perhaps it was good that I skipped all the early shows and skipped quickly to his "Duh! Scatchingly obviously conclusions!" section - i.e. where he started moaning that "celebrities have taken the place of religion" and "internet communities based on fandom have taken the place of real communities!" etc. etc. etc. blah.

(Wow, this thread reads weird now. Was stuff deleted last night?)

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Yup!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Did I miss anything other than the usual three stock C*l*m insults, and his usual missing the point about free speach = his right to be an asshole?

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:30 (twenty-one years ago)

He was his usual charming self to you & I think that was pretty much it. You saw that though, I didn't see anymore than that.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah well. Not bothered, really.

I always feel a bit weird when I see "Experts" talking about internet fan communities when they've obviously had no experience of them themselves. Yeah, having been a member of several internet fan communities, I know all the horror stories etc. etc. - but I know that's also a little tiny percentage of the actual story. There's this poor single mother on the program, saying "Oh, I spend 16 hours a day on the internet talking to my friends about Stephen Gately" and on one hand, yeah, that seems like it could be pretty freaking pathetic, ha ha, yeah, let's be horrified at the losers. But, you know, without community, without support - what would this woman's life be like *without* her fandom?

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:46 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pretty new to the boards and kind of feel odd abt prospect of ever meeting anyone IRL. But *most* ppl here hardly seem weird at all. (says a man who posted a pic of a cult music journalist on a board yesterday and then discussed it at length.)

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I think we don't seem weird to each other, because we recognise a certain kinship in each other. Each of us knows (or is convinced) that "*I* am not weird" so we project a kind of "I'm OK, you're OK" onto other people who share our kinship weirdness.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 09:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Certainly no weirder than ppl IRL.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 10:02 (twenty-one years ago)

The program was just very strange because it was someone VERY MUCH CONTRIBUTING to the "problem" or at least the culture of celebrity worship, being very much patronising and condescending in their condemnation of the celebrity-obsessed.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 10:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Piers Maron is not unlike one Charles Foster Kane -- the post-9/11 hubris of digging up Pilger, Chris Hitchens, all these other lefties to make a serious, Big Brother-hating paper, then realizing that exactly what is worth defending is stuff like Big Brother (we-ell, you know what I mean). But the man was editor of News of the World! Total hypocrite. And he's had to eat his words because the Mirror - surpirse! - lost readers.

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i showed calums posts to my friends (thats many friends, as in, like, loads of them), they all agreed he was very erudite, witty, generous, and a good listener, and rather mysterious tolo, yet in an approchable way. rachel said you had great hair too. i must admit, they have something of a point. well done you!

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I think calum must use l'oreal, cos he's worth it, check out those bangs.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

How sad must someone's life be when they insist on hanging out with people who make no secret of the fact that they loathe them. Go on Calum, go and find some friends. Shoo.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark OTM.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, snap -- the friends I showed it to were all like, why isn't this guy on primetime TV or something? He deserves recognition!

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

seriously though, i think its really nice how you have treated kate, and ally, and some of the others here. a lesser person would have been really nasty and stuff, but you have been really even handed and stuff, and its totally ages since you threatened to call the police, or sent a silly message to the moderators!

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

G, are you being ironic? I can't tell any more.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

and i totally have mad respect for the way you still take an interest in chris martins life even now, i think that says a lot about you. i think we should all respect that

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth is a wit and a gent, he's being gallant, Kate < /old-world values>

― Enrique (Enrique), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I've given up trying to understand the inscrutability of the G-man ages ago. PLUR.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

But that's just it, Calum, it's not fun. Not for us, and if it's fun for you then you're a hateful misanthropic creep. It's not interesting to interact with you. We just want you to go away. Really, really badly. And if you stay here cos you get kicks from pissing people off, then even when you *do* make valid points, no-one's going to listen.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

its fun for me

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. and please take Gareth with you.

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

i like it when he types long posts, and then i delete them, or replace them with a picture of captain mainwaring from dads army. i dont do this for any other reason that it amuses me when i am bored

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes it's fun. But more because I'm laughing *AT* him and laughing at the things which he so dementedly thinks are insults towards me. But I get bored with that really quickly, and it just becomes tiresome and dull.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

Why don't you get a hobby or something instead, Gareth?

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

i shall delete the thread in 25 minutes. you can all have your say until then

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Please don't delete the entire thread. There was some interesting chatter about the nature of celebrity and calling Piers Moran a cnut and all that until C**** showed up.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ok, i will leave the thread, i think the last few posts calum has made are pretty good actually, if you re-read them

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i am sorry if i have annoyed you mark, believe me, no harm was intended, i can leave if you would prefer it?

― charltonlido (gareth), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

OMIGOD, WTF?

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Gareth, now *I'm* joking :)

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

i think gareth (if that IS his real name) may have gone mad with power

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:33 (twenty-one years ago)

This is the reason why I'm glad I'm not a moderator.

― Kate 22 (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:34 (twenty-one years ago)

i wish i was but only so i could correct my own typos

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

The Bachelor breakup? HA ha ha. She worked for my company and they did a big writeup on her in the internal newsletter. I wonder if she wants her old job back...

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Nickalicious needs to learn what a rubba rubba friend in case he ever runs into Michael Jackson.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

What?

― Spontaneous Existence Failure (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I too nice to buy you ice?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Nic, what are you replying, too? Even though I was actually asking "What?" to Catty.

― Spontaneous Existence Failure (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I suppose there was good telly on last night, Kate. I forgot Jane Goldman Investigates was on. I just got sucked into Pirates of the C'AARRRRRbbean and went to bed.

< / glossing over of half end of this thread >

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

I was replying to the "rubba-rubba friends"? wtf, are you fozzy the bear? upthread. It was kind of charming.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, OK, that makes sense, Nicole. Cat, what are you talking about the Bachelor Breakup and ??? who the heck is Jane Goldman?

― Spontaneous Existence Failure (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, the Bachelor breakup newslink is further upthread. Right under the Spike Jonze one.
I didn't even know about that show until the stupid internal newsletter did a fucking two-page SPREAD on her. And this was *after* she quit the company. They're going on and on congratulating her and so on and it's like, what did she do to earn this kind of adulation? She won a game show and her prize is a rich husband. She actually seems like a sad, shallow little person.
I wonder if she will become America's Jade Goody. brrrrr.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm so confused.

― Spontaneous Existence Failure (kate), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:01 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder if she will become America's Jade Goody. brrrrr.

I doubt it! There are so many different reality shows now that she'll soon be forgotten.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Jane Goldman is Jonathan Woss's other half. She's been doing this series on paranormal investigations that I unfortunately missed 6/7s of. Last night she was going to talk to the dead. I managed to catch the episode where she learns about witchcraft and tries to cast a spell so David Baddiel could beat Jonathan Woss at tennis. It didn't work. He actually lost quite spectacularly.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I doubt it! There are so many different reality shows now that she'll soon be forgotten.

Err.. well... she did work for one of the world's largest news photography suppliers, so you never know. Maybe they'll hire her back and consider her part of the company's assets.

― Catty (Catty), Wednesday, 10 December 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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