What if all money was made of Chocolate?

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Oh no, I just ate the change they gave me at Starbucks!

And then realised it was their holiday gift chocolate coins.

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

How much would a chocolate bar cost, in that case?

Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 12 December 2003 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Screw the bar, just cut out the middle man & eat the money you would have used to buy it!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 December 2003 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no, I just ate my whole paycheck!

This could be an even dumber idea than handing out pay packets in pubs!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

(I am slightly disturbed by the fact that I've become such a regular that all the staff now know my order.)

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

problems in summer! the money would melt!

MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 12 December 2003 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

i would be a poor, but happy, girl.

colette (a2lette), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

(although i've had problems eating chocolate coins since some made me sick-- i think they were poisoned by my boyfriend at the time's mom)

colette (a2lette), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

I would be poor & fat!! hmmm!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I would be poorer and fatter...

smee (smee), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Why does the chocolate in chocolate coins always taste so strange? Like it doesn't have a very high cocoa content or something.

What other strange non-metal things could money be made of? Cheese?

I know in the Danelaw, honey was acceptible as a form of currency in which you could pay your tax and your tithe! And on certain islands, apparently it's still legal to pay your taxes in puffins! (Or at least it was back in the 70s when I was still reading such facts in Puffin Annuals.)

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Would international chocolate-production rings have to be busted?

Will different countries have different types of chocolate for pay? White chocolate in Switzerland, chocolate with hamburgerjuice in America etc?

Would they be wrapped? Would some money have a Charlie's Chocolate Factory gold slip in them, and you'd get to go to the chocolate factory to see money be made?

Could rich uncle scrooge guys finally melt their money and truly swim in their money without getting bumps on their noggins? assuming you can blend it out, not boil it and die.

Will Bling Bling change name to choco loco?
Will Mr T be delicious?

Will banks be replaced by confectionaries?

I think I'll miss jingling change though. Sticky pockets just doesn't sound as exciting (or possibly TOO exciting, but this isn't the "what if all money was made of jism" thread)

Obviously different types of chocolate would be worth different amounts of money. But what about blocksizes? Will f.ex. a 1kg piece be worth 4 times as much as a half-kilo block? Will one of those giant Toblerone-bars be like gold bars are today? Or are they impure due to the honey and nuts? I think they'd be the equivalent of gold bars, for that makes me happy.

"All that doesn't glitter is not chocolate"?

Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Bill Gates would actually look like

http://www.english.uwosh.edu/roth/wonka.jpg

stevem (blueski), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:48 (twenty-one years ago)

I had an idea once that they should just make money out of drugs. That way you remove the dangerous middleman. If you get a bad dose you just complain to the Treasury Department and then they send the Secret Service out to find whoever it is who's putting out fake tabs on the street. Also being clean would be its own reward, you'd have more money for furniture and laundry service.

TOMBOT, Friday, 12 December 2003 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh goodness, so many questions, Øystein!

What about different grades of chocolate for different coloured money? Like milk chocolate could be silver money and dark chocolate could be gold money, and, erm, white chocolate could be, like coppers.

Of course, then we'd have to abandon both the decimal system and paper money. And the third world debt would be sorted out, because chocolate-producing nations would be richer than first world nations!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:51 (twenty-one years ago)

that pic made water come out my nose, stevem.

colette (a2lette), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Omigod, I missed the Willy Wonka photo in an x-post! Bwah hah hah, oh that's utterly great.

How about the new slang for money, then? Cross my palm with Galaxy? Rhyming slang for Cadburys? Don't EVEN try passing that Hershey's on me, man!

Victorian street urchins being told "Let me see the colour of your chocolate, young man..."

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Hand over the mocca, bro

Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)

So Cadbury's would be The Mint?

C J (C J), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

no, that would be Bendick's

chris (chris), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.thesouthafricanstore.com/shop/img/productImages/150/ca224008.jpg

C J (C J), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

What if cd's were made of cheese?
And guitars of concrete??

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:47 (twenty-one years ago)

CJ - that wouldn't be recognisable currency over here - not if it's South African

chris (chris), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Testing for counterfeit money in shops would be interesting though! i.e. licking it.

"I'm sorry madam, we don't accept Hershey's Kisses here...."

C J (C J), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

And exchange rates - how would we work those out? How many Mars Bars to the Curly Wurly?

C J (C J), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Chocolate money always tastes rank because it's cheap chocolate.

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

the Australians would be piling over, getting five mars to the Cherry Ripe

chris (chris), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

and what of Pocky?

http://www.nephco.com/japan/pocky.jpg

El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

hmmmm

stevem (blueski), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not a proper Seth Efrikan mint crisp, I don't know what that is, it's disturbing me!

"Minted" would stop meaning that you were rich, and start meaning that your money was adulterated! Like After Eights! Or maybe "Minted" means more than Eight Squid...

The exchange rates could get so confusing... Aussie to Euro would be, perhaps, how many Golden Roughs in a Lindt?

Though US to UK would be hard... no way a Cadburys is worth 1.6 Hershey Bars. More like 10 Hershey bars!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

If after eight mints were used as currency I would be in a very bad cash situ!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

(What if CD's were made of cheese? And guitars of concrete??)

t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:08 (twenty-one years ago)

HSA would permanently be clearing out my band account!

And I always used to get After Eights because no boyfriend I ever had liked them!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd have a cupboard full of coffee creams, orange creams and strawberry creams which had been left in the bottom of Milk Tray boxes. I hate those.

C J (C J), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I would also like green Fruit Gums to be designated as currency. Normally I just throw them away because they're horrible, so it would be nice to spend them instead.

C J (C J), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah, but if we folded it and stuck it in our back pockets the way we do with money, it'd melt and then we'd have an awful lot of people who look like they just crapped their trousers. "No, don't worry, it's just money." The bigger the stain, the richer the person. Hmmm.

Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:25 (twenty-one years ago)

All those socialites furiously shitting themselves.

NA (Nick A.), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:29 (twenty-one years ago)

As if they don't already.

TOMBOT, Friday, 12 December 2003 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I like coffee creams, but strawberry and orange cremes? YUCK!!! Why do they make them? I used to have this boyfriend whose only use was that he actually liked the orange and strawberry cremes that I couldn't stand.

They can be, like, the beaded shells of currency or something!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick likes them. I think they were designed for boys.

Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

But they're, like, fruity and girly!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh wait, maybe that just says something about our taste in men...

::ducks::

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

(I am slightly disturbed by the fact that I've become such a regular that all the staff now know my order.)

Gingerbread latte by any chance?

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, but they even remembered the fact that I always have an extra shot of coffee!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

They try that one on with everybody though...

mark grout (mark grout), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

No, I had to keep telling them for, like the first month!

HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

If money was chocolate,

Halloween would suddenly be a lot more dangerous for little kids to be openly carrying bags of candy. People would have shotguns when answering trick-or-treaters at the door. "Take only one and get the hell outta here before you get hurt."

Robbing a bank would be like, "Load this sack with unmarked Godivas, and leave those foil coins out."

Money laundering would be much easier, you just melt the money and re-mold it in the fridge.

Counterfeit money would be made of suger-free Carob.

sucka (sucka), Saturday, 13 December 2003 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

The old western-movie tradition of biting coins to check if they're real goes back in fashion.

Except there's a downside, as when you bite in, you immediately decrease the money's worth.
Greedy people go mad, not wanting false money, yet not daring to bite in, in case it's real.
Eventually they can't take it anymore and start distributing it at random to poor people, and write hippiesongs about it.

Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Saturday, 13 December 2003 13:30 (twenty-one years ago)


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