This is the thread where I answer to you with literal translations of obscure Finnish proverbs.

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It had to be done.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Howdy?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:52 (twenty-one years ago)

He who climbs to the fir-tree shall fall onto the juniper.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

My dog has no nose.

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the meaning of life, death and the universe?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(x-post)

You shouldn't look into a dog's hair.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Tiit: If booze, tar, and sauna won't help you, you're surely heading for the grave.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

n-n-niiiice! :)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Q: Could Lou - if he be Reed - jump over the moon, now could he??

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I think my first answer applies to that question.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Did we come here to talk or to drink?

― Alfie (Alfie), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

i want to change my life but have decided i'll impose many changes in the new year - am i just kidding myself?

― jed (jed_e_3), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I tiger can't do anything to it's stripes.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

White Stripes or Black Dice?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Many cakes look good on the outside.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

FINNISH PROVERBS ARE THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD, EVER!!!

Dara (who posts here sometimes) used to have this mad Finnish boyfriend who would tell us all sorts of advice, usually while cocking his head, saying bizarre things like "Always look twice before crossing the blind goat!" and nodding like he'd just said something very wise indeed.

I always wondered if they just translated badly, or if they just made no sense in the original, and Finns are mad. Fortunately Tuomas will confirm this, I hope...

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the "hair is good, everything is good" but I think that's just cause he was a glam-obsessed Hanoi Rocks wannabe.

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:13 (twenty-one years ago)

'Nother Q: Is Jimi Tenor out to lunch?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate, that's originally "the ending is good, everything is good" which is the Finnish version of "all's well that ends well", but I've heard the hair thing mentioned as well, so it wasn't your friends invention. Also, there's a newish saying which goes: "Hair at behind, life in front." No, I have no idea what it means.

The goat thing makes no sense to me either, sorry.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Tiit, nature will drive the baby woodpecker back to the tree.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:20 (twenty-one years ago)

The far reaching tentacles of indie rock destroyed the infant disco in it's crib. An army of whispered voice Nick Drake fetishists refuse to make dance music. Tuomas, help!

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

One shouldn't swallow before it drops.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I want to cover you with honey and lick it off every inch of your body.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel duped, my Finnish co-worker doesn't come out with any of these, mind you she did just say that we should all go out and get slashed before christmas.

― chris (chris), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Your own land is the strawberry, another land is the blueberry.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Chris, Finns have hundreds of weird euphemisms for getting drunk. As do most peoples, I think...

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

very true, never heard that one though

― chris (chris), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it bad form to get drunk in front of your students?

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

A courageous man will eat the soup.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

(Or woman.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 14:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha is the soup made of puffer fish or something?

― Archel (Archel), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Q: Do Finns have fins?

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:08 (twenty-one years ago)

No one is a blacksmith when he's born.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:22 (twenty-one years ago)

How many roads lead to a Rome built in one day?

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

(Oh yeah, we made up the bit about the blind goat, just to confuse Andy/Mika.)

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:36 (twenty-one years ago)

You've got your own cow in the ditch.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

You should publish a book of these sayings, Tuomas! Like a coffee table book illustrated with quirky cartoon drawings! I'd buy it!

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Who should lift the cat's tail, if not the cat itself?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

When you're done, can I print out this thread and keep it?

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:41 (twenty-one years ago)

What comes by singing, goes away whistling.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:42 (twenty-one years ago)

(Yes you can.)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Question: Do you know the way to San Jose?

― Rob M (Rob M), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:44 (twenty-one years ago)

The third time tells you the truth.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Or, in other words: "The tricks are many", said the old lady while wiping the table with a cat.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Wiping the table with a cat?

― Rob M (Rob M), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

The tricks are many.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I just had not one but two Finns write me randomly about various musical things (one of whom was a member of the well-groovy sorta gazey band Coo back in the nineties). Should I take this as a mystical sign?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:53 (twenty-one years ago)

X-post: A band called Coo? What a fantastic name!

― Rob M (Rob M), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Water that's carried into the well doesn't stay there.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 12 December 2003 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Many cakes look good on the outside.

my new mantra

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 12 December 2003 17:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 22 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

The stranger the better. OK, here's a question for ya!

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Monday, 15 December 2003 10:18 (twenty-one years ago)

The answer to that is as useless as the balls of the Pope, the nipples of a nun, or the papers of the taxman.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Monday, 15 December 2003 10:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Here are some Swedish ones for ya!

Taste is like the ass.
Sour, the fox said about the rowanberries.
He has planted his last potato.
He has a fox behind his ear.
You can't capture a rabbit with a drum.

― Hanna (Hanna), Monday, 15 December 2003 11:28 (twenty-one years ago)

You know, taste *is* like the ass!

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 15 December 2003 11:39 (twenty-one years ago)

What does he has a fox behind his ear apply to?

― isadora (isadora), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

What is the meaning of life?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"You'll have to ask me a question first" is odd in its straightforwardness.

― Leee Iacocca (Leee), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Luck for some, summer for all.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 07:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Okay, I'm back, here are some more proverbs, for Kate only. Merry Christmas, Kate!

"Time comes for everyone," said the goat while being beheaded.

He who has beer, has friends.

Frost will drive the piglet back home.

The forest answers the same way you shout there.

Old salt makes you thirsty.

Ass is made for farting, not for growing beans.

Learning won't knock you down the ditch.

The more you delve into shit, the more it will stink.

Dogs bark, but the caravan goes on.

Even the blind hen will wind a grain someday.

Hair and wit don't fit into the same head.

What the big ones do first, the little ones will do later.

That dog will yelp who gets hit by the stick.

A lie has a short trail.

Pussy won't wear out by fucking.

You shouldn't go fishing beyond the sea.

God on mind and pants on.

Joy without booze is faking.

Even the snot-nose will become a man, but not the one who laughs for nothing.

Your buns are well in the oven.

Only cat lives by thank you's.

The rooster won't sing by telling him to do so.

Even a mouse has his lusts.

You get billed for stupidity.

You have the same head for summer and for winter.

Work won't end by working.

A shitty trip, but it's done anyway.

Where butter melts, there the skin will burn.

The tracks lead to the brawn factory.

Crop comes from earth, men come from pussy.

The mouth won't crack by talking, nor the ass by farting.

You shouldn't paint the devil on the wall.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, I didn't even notice this before cause I got so caught up in other nonsense!

Thank you, Tuomas, these are great! I kiss you! Thank you so much!

You get billed for stupidity... heh.

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 14:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Ass is made for farting, not for growing beans.
The mouth won't crack by talking, nor the ass by farting.

I love those two.

― Leee Iacocca (Leee), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, I spotted a mistranslation there. The proverb about a cat should read:

Only cat lives on thank you's.

(Meaning that you need more than thank you's to get by.)

There are several more pussy-, cock- and arse-related proverbs in the book I mentioned earlier, but I fear your image of Finnish folk wisdom would be ruined if I'd put them all here.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

No ruined, Tuomas, HEIGHTENED. Do you have any old wives' tales? That other thread could do with some!

― HRH Queen Kate (kate), Thursday, 18 December 2003 09:22 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

Revive!

Any new questions?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 09:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Very nice, indeed, Tuomas.

What do you get when you fall in love? (You get enough germs to catch pneumonia)

― Skottie, Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:46 (twenty-one years ago)

The tracks lead to the brawn factory.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 12:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Some Swedish ones:

Don't sell the bear's skin before it is shot.

Don't judge the dog by its hair

Don't cross the river to get water

Better a bird in the hand than ten in the woods

Small kettles has also ears

There's no cow on the ice

A lot of noise for little wool, said the lady who cut the hair of the pig

Close doesn't shoot a rabbit

Oh, us Swedes have the 'Don't paint the devil on the wall' as well.

― TBA (TBA), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

"Better a bird in the hand than ten in the woods" is similar to "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" except I can't tell if Swedes are easier to please or harder to please

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Of course. My mistake.

― TBA (TBA), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:11 (twenty-one years ago)

TBA, The first four are in use in Finland too, I think we've gotten many proverbs from you guys.

The Finnish version of the bird proverb goes like this: "Better a grouse on the lap than ten on the bough."

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Finns have poetry in their souls

― Dadaismus (Dada), Tuesday, 29 June 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...

Revive!

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:22 (twenty years ago)

Hello o wise Tuomas. How can I please my family while also pleasing myself?

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:34 (twenty years ago)

When you bow to west you moon to east.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:37 (twenty years ago)

Then again, everyone is the blacksmith of her own good.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 3 March 2005 09:46 (twenty years ago)

Should I spend my money on a swedish axe or a finnish knife?

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:05 (twenty years ago)

what does There's no cow on the ice mean?

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Thursday, 3 March 2005 10:27 (twenty years ago)

I think it means:
You've got your own cow in the ditch.
-- Tuomas (tuomas.alh...), December 12th, 2003.

My question:
Can this black box see into the future?

― weather1ngda1eson (Brian), Thursday, 3 March 2005 12:19 (twenty years ago)

I love this one:

Dogs bark, but the caravan goes on.

― moley (moley), Thursday, 3 March 2005 12:22 (twenty years ago)

Should I spend my money on a swedish axe or a finnish knife?

Some like the mother, others the daughter.

Can this black box see into the future?

Empty barrels clatter the most.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 3 March 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

what does There's no cow on the ice mean?

I have no idea, that was a Swedish proverb.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Thursday, 3 March 2005 12:52 (twenty years ago)

What should I get my boyfriend for his birthday?

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

Pussy won't wear out by fucking.

I beg to differ, but I like it anyway.

I also like the one that's about mice lusting.

― sugarpants (sugarpants), Thursday, 3 March 2005 21:34 (twenty years ago)

This thread is quite a thrill!

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Friday, 4 March 2005 05:44 (twenty years ago)

The mind of a young man is like the snow of April.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 4 March 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Pussy won't wear out by fucking.
I beg to differ, but I like it anyway.

I take it you have first-hand experience then?

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 4 March 2005 10:55 (twenty years ago)

Q: Will Holland ever win the World Cup?

(I'd really wannannanna-aaa kno' what Finnish proverbs predict on this issue)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Friday, 4 March 2005 11:05 (twenty years ago)

He who digs a hole for another shall fall there himself.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 4 March 2005 11:54 (twenty years ago)

Tuomas, did you just ask a lady about her fucking??

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 4 March 2005 11:55 (twenty years ago)

Yes, and it wasn't the first time. ;)

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 4 March 2005 11:57 (twenty years ago)

See, all this "oh I'm a wide-eyed scando innocent" bullshit is just a front :)

Another pic of Tuomas with a blonde lovely:

http://www.efestivals.co.uk/festivals/glastonbury/2004/PEL-michael-emily.jpg

― Markelby (Mark C), Friday, 4 March 2005 12:03 (twenty years ago)

"Another"?

I never claimed I was innocent, I'm quite straightforward when talking about sex. I thought it would've shown in here too.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Friday, 4 March 2005 12:06 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

* Olin seitsemän vuotta sedälläni kodossa renkinä (Finnish). "I was seven years at my uncle's home as a servant". This is to tease Eastern Tavastians, who pronounce 'd' as 'l'. It becomes "olin seitsemän vuotta selälläni kolossa renkinä", which means "I was seven years a servant in a hole, lying on my back" - certain connotations of being a sex slave.
* Kurri etsi jarrua murkkukasasta: "Kurri sought for a brake in the ant pile." The Finnish phoneme rolled R [r] in general is considered a "shibboleth" between normality and various types of speech defects. Small children usually learn the phoneme /r/ last, using /l/ instead. Older children can trick them to say "kulli etsi Jallua mulkkukasasta", "The cock sought for a Jallu (porn magazine) in a pile of dicks."

― lord pooperton (ex machina), Wednesday, 7 June 2006 18:32 (nineteen years ago)

nine months pass...

mr. and mrs. tuomas

http://www.danny.fi/armi/kuvaalbumi/aJAd_laser_tvohjelma01.jpg

― Eisbaer, Friday, 16 March 2007 03:55 (eighteen years ago)

this thread is great, i want to go to finland just to have it as an actual conversation

― Maria, Friday, 16 March 2007 04:37 (eighteen years ago)

This is still one of my favourite threads ever. I did cartoons of some of them! I found them when I moved.

― Masonic Boom, Friday, 16 March 2007 10:08 (eighteen years ago)

six months pass...

* Olin seitsemän vuotta sedälläni kodossa renkinä (Finnish). "I was seven years at my uncle's home as a servant". This is to tease Eastern Tavastians, who pronounce 'd' as 'l'. It becomes "olin seitsemän vuotta selälläni kolossa renkinä", which means "I was seven years a servant in a hole, lying on my back" - certain connotations of being a sex slave.
* Kurri etsi jarrua murkkukasasta: "Kurri sought for a brake in the ant pile." The Finnish phoneme rolled R (r) in general is considered a "shibboleth" between normality and various types of speech defects. Small children usually learn the phoneme /r/ last, using /l/ instead. Older children can trick them to say "kulli etsi Jallua mulkkukasasta", "The cock sought for a Jallu (porn magazine) in a pile of dicks."

Where are these from, I've never ever heard of them. They're both correct I guess, though they sound awfully complicated. When I was kid we had a much more simple trick to pull: we asked someone to squeeze their nose with their fingers and say, "Mä oon meidän luokan pomo!" ("I'm the boss of our class!"), which due to the nose-squeezing would sound like, "Mä oon meidän luokan homo!" ("I'm the homo of our class!").

― Tuomas, Tuesday, 2 October 2007 09:49 (eighteen years ago)

five years pass...

more pls

― mookieproof, Saturday, 5 January 2013 03:44 (twelve years ago)

six years pass...

^^^

― mookieproof, Thursday, 12 December 2019 15:53 (five years ago)

one month passes...

As we say in Finland, he passed that one straight to the blade of the hockey stick.

― Tuomas, Thursday, February 6, 2020 2:52 PM (thirty-six minutes ago)

― mookieproof, Thursday, 6 February 2020 20:30 (five years ago)

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