This is the thread where we post random odd lines from "The Young Ones" "Kevin Turvey" et al and laff.

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"And neither do You.. Theatre! (snirk...)"

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago)

"PISS OFF, POSTIE!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:25 (twenty-one years ago)

"It's only University Challenge, Rick, It's only University Challenge!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

"Checkmate...and why not?"

i was wondering why the Scottish/Jewish guy turns to camera to say that, and who he is/based on anyway

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:26 (twenty-one years ago)

If British Rail want £50 they can just about blummin well go and become prostitutes, which they virtuall are anyway come to think of it

right commuters?

― Rikk (silent P) (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I wish I could remember the poem read by rik "street poet", to some policemen. "You're really rather a fig, PIG" is the only bit I can remember.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

it's 'do you really give a fig, pig?'

and 'what's your favourite type of gig, pig? Barry Manilow, or the black and white minstrel show' (Bokko!)'

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"GOD I'm bored! I might as well be listening to GENESIS!"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:32 (twenty-one years ago)

"You got yer Garibaldi, right, you got yer Bourbon, and you got yer Peek Freans Trotsky assortment"

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

hence 'i wish i could remember'!!! (thx)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

"I HAD TO! I was DRUNK!"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:33 (twenty-one years ago)

The Scot was Arnold Brown, a stand-up comic prominent in the Comic Strip generation, but very different from his 'anarchic' contempories. "And why not?" seemed to be a bit of a catchphrase of his.

"It's all muscle, this. It's just not tensed at the moment."
"Just as well. Try to tense that lot and you'd break your neck."

― Michael Jones (MichaelJ), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

"University Challenge?.......TO THE STATION!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

"World's smelliest bottom burp.....Vivian, Bwitain!"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Darling Fascist Bully Boy,

Give Me More Money You Bastard.

May The Seeds of Your Loin Be Ever Fruitful in the Belly of Your Woman,

Neil

― TOMBOT, Monday, 15 December 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"come on Ryk it's only five minutes"
"'come on Ryk it's only five minutes'...tell that to Roger Bannister!"
"Roger it's only five minutes"
"Oh really? How interesting!"

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 15 December 2003 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Well I have a new letter of resignation thanks to this thread.

― Allyzay, Monday, 15 December 2003 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm going to write a letter to the lead singer of Echo and the Bunnymen - Dear Mr Echo, ..."

"Even mindless violence seems boring today."

(Rik speaking to Madness)
"Do you know Summer Holiday by Cliff Richard ?"
"You hum it - I'll smash your face in."

― darren (darren), Monday, 15 December 2003 18:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"...You have come bottom in the whole world."

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh no! I forgot about the time difference between here, and Johannesburg!!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"You can never hammer in the last nail!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"My lentils."

― neilalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:20 (twenty-one years ago)

"Ooooooh, have we got a video?"

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"nobody ever listens to me, i might as well be a Leonard Cohen record"

(best thread ever)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'M VERY SOBER, AND VERY VERY BORED!!!"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 21:56 (twenty-one years ago)

"the old trick eh, EAT the telly!"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"Have we got a video then?"

― isadora (isadora), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:02 (twenty-one years ago)

"Only pop music can save us now!"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"Come on, Neil, that ISN'T food!"

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"Open up, it's the piiiiiiigs."

― Prude (Prude), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence..."

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"I've got a Porsche!"

― rainman (rainman), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"Hands up, who likes me?"

― Sean (Sean), Monday, 15 December 2003 22:47 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Botticelli vs Jelly Botty

― sailor moonie, Monday, 15 December 2003 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"is this tobacco? or Pink Floyd?"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:42 (twenty-one years ago)

*neil smashes stereo*
"Oh no! Steve Hillage!"

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:44 (twenty-one years ago)

"hi, mike"

"not yet, but i soon will be"

*mouth trumpet noise*

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Pollution!
All awwound!
Sometimes... up
Sometimes....down!
But always.... awwound.

Pollution, are you coming to my town
Or am I coming to yours?
HA!

We're all on different buses, pollutions
But we're both using...
PETROL!

....bombs!

(fuck I wrote that entirely from memory, I am sad)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

hehehe nice one

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"we plant the seed, nature grows the seed, and we EAT the seed!"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'm sorry I don't believe in god"
"well then how d'you know his name, SMARTARSE"

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Do you dig graves?
Neil - Yeah, they're allright.

― sailor moonie, Monday, 15 December 2003 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

She's talking about peeeeeeeeeeeriod pains...

― suzy (suzy), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:54 (twenty-one years ago)

"eurippides trousers, you menda deez trousers"

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh wow I hope Mike hurries back with the cure"
"no no neil - its Madness this week"

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:56 (twenty-one years ago)

(This thread is making me YO sentimental.)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I got both seasons on DVD recently! woooooooo!

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 15 December 2003 23:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I love the Euripides one. Also the guitar which Neil's grandad(?) fashioned from toothpicks in the same episode.
And the surviving rat eating the dead one, enthusiastically, "It's what he would have wanted"....

― sailor moonie, Monday, 15 December 2003 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"why you smashing up saucers rik, your prints on 'em? i used to feel the same way about saucers. there's a lot of bodies buried in the bottom of the garden because of a saucer in the works."

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

(i got that slightly wrong)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 00:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 40 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

bags not ryk!
bags not vyv!
bags not....neil

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

"You fascist junta!"

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

MIKE: It's a Vampire!
VYVYAN: In a parcel!
RICK: In the kitchen!
NEIL: Hate mail!

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Tuesday, 16 December 2003 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Neil, the bathroom's free! Unlike Britain under the Thatcherite junta, right kids?"

"That's because it's a payphone, Rik."

"I've just nailed my legs to the table."

"Wow, it's my bike! I was wondering where it had gone..."

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Wednesday, 17 December 2003 08:44 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...

Oh, la-di-da! Look what I found in my laundry bag. All of
Felicity Kendall's underwear, that needs a good wash!

― Wanda (Wanda), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I always poo before I get up

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:12 (twenty-one years ago)

"goooood gooood daddy long legs, hope it makes more money than Pegggy Sue=hoo, wuh-ha-ha-huh-hooo....AIEEEEEE!"

― buddy stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:14 (twenty-one years ago)

I always poo before I get up

oh god that's one of my favourite lines ever!!!

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"Neil!
How does in feel,
Neil,
to make a meal,
Neil,
surreal!
Out of totalitarian vegetables!"*

"I should mention that you DO need to have a degree..."

― Simon H., Wednesday, 4 February 2004 00:58 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...

This thread is revived purely becuase, in a Bristol pub at the weekend, I had a packet of Roast Ox crisps.

"What flavour, Neil?"
"Anything without meat Vyv, I'm a vegetarian."

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 26 July 2004 09:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i don't abuse my body in the world that i live in

― the neurotic awakening of billy balovski (blueski), Monday, 26 July 2004 09:48 (twenty-one years ago)

OMG roast ox crisps exist! My life is complete.

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 26 July 2004 09:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.realfooddirect.co.uk/product_info.php?manufacturers_id=46&products_id=301

Order stacks of stuff and the postage to AUS won't be that expensive. :-/

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Monday, 26 July 2004 10:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm with Trayce, I thought Roast Ox crisps were a joke!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 26 July 2004 11:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Cliiifffff...

― holojames (holojames), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait, I never contributed to this thread before? I must have been sick.

"Or are you cliff?
Or ARE YOU, Cliff?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

the funny thing about that line is that Rik says it 'wrong' both times. Surely it should've been 'Or are YOU Cliff?'

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

"Have some Turkish delight...eurgh, who's farted?"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"Oh. Sorry, John. I thought you was a nigger."

― Onimo (GerryNemo), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:49 (twenty-one years ago)

ha Ned, that scene is funny too because Viv makes fun of Shirley for having a girl's name tho he has one himself.

"And who said Sunday was a day of rest"
"God did"
"That's right! I knew it was some bloody tory!"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:52 (twenty-one years ago)

"HALLO, Vyvyan."
"...oh. Hallo mum."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

that looked just like a fatal reality inversion

― the neurotic awakening of dr neil goebbels (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:55 (twenty-one years ago)

RIK: "Do you know anything by Cliff Richard?"
SUGGS: "You try it, I'll smash your face in."
RIK: "I'll sit over there."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 14:58 (twenty-one years ago)

"I'll have a coffee"
"Rik this is a pub, they don't do coffee"
"Well in that case I won't have anything I don't find it particularly clever to drink, I want to stay in control"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:03 (twenty-one years ago)

"The table *is* shrinking. And last night . . . I found . . . my guitar . . . on the fire!"

― J (Jay), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"Speaking as a feminist..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:05 (twenty-one years ago)

"Open up, it's the pigs."

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:13 (twenty-one years ago)

"Right, ashes to ashes --"
"Fun to funky."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:15 (twenty-one years ago)

"The table *is* shrinking. And last night . . . I found . . . my guitar . . . on the fire!"

heheh, that one is all about Vyv's nodding head tho

― the neurotic awakening of s (blueski), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:17 (twenty-one years ago)

"No one listens to me. I'm like a Leonard Cohen record."

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

How did I miss this thread before?

second "I'm being hassled in the street by chick!" -- I still say that sometimes.

― briania (briania), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I also say (not that funny in print): "Oooh, MaRILLion."

― briania (briania), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:30 (twenty-one years ago)

"Don't hurt me, I'm a vegetarian!"

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Ric, pointing at camera: "I hope you're happy, Thatcher!"

― Wooden (Wooden), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

that looked just like a fatal reality inversion

i like that one too, but it's: "that looked just like a negative reality inversion"

also when Special Patrol says "Up Scumbag!" in the University Challenge episode.

and of course: "Ohhh, have we got a video?"

http://www.michael.phatcatz.net/awtv/Comedy/YoungOnes/faq2/special-patrol.jpg

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:39 (twenty-one years ago)

"Neil, my barely adequate psychic defences are crumbling."

and

"Death? Want a game of Travel Scrabble?"

this site has all the YO scripts >>> http://www.4q.dk/yo.htm

― Joseph Pot (STINKOR™), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 15:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"I really think I should lay this one on you: That's a really negative way to kill yourself. Like, I've tried it hundreds of times. There's no way you can hammer the last nail in."

― martin m. (mushrush), Wednesday, 28 July 2004 16:18 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

"It's risotto, Mike."

― nate woolls, Monday, 30 July 2007 14:48 (eighteen years ago)

"I knew she was Catholic, I didn't know the Pope was"

― DJ Mencap, Monday, 30 July 2007 15:54 (eighteen years ago)

"completely ready when you are shakey..."

I still say that to myself all the time....

― Hamildan, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 23:17 (eighteen years ago)

everyone knows sleep causes cancer

― Shakey Mo Collier, Tuesday, 31 July 2007 23:27 (eighteen years ago)

"Bastard Squad is on!"

― Elvis Telecom, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 14:22 (eighteen years ago)

"Thatchers' bloody Britain!"

― Ste, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 14:25 (eighteen years ago)

"don't die, People's Poet!"

― The Real Dirty Vicar, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:06 (eighteen years ago)

"seeyew teddy bear c'mere" (headbutt)

― blueski, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:10 (eighteen years ago)

Neil - "Oh wow. I never knew I wore a wig."

― Kim, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

Neil, your bedroom's on fire.

― aldo, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 15:24 (eighteen years ago)

I wonder how many lentils I've eaten in my life

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 17:38 (eighteen years ago)

I wonder how many lentils I've EVER eaten in my life.

(pedantic I know, but it does make it funnier)

― Jon Lewis, Wednesday, 1 August 2007 17:40 (eighteen years ago)

six years pass...

Library.

― Mark G, Monday, 9 June 2014 20:34 (eleven years ago)

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