Spam fiction thread

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(excerpted from text of spam message advertising "New business opportunity that can change your life")


Oh, we must give Ozma time to put on the Magic Belt, replied the girl
She had scarcely spoken the words then she suddenly disappeared from the cave, and with her
went the kitten Kill me dog, will ye--eh? yelled the officer; well, I'll just run ye in for that same, an'
ye'll spend the night in the lockup! And on he came, with drawn club in one hand and a big revolver
in the other


There had been no sound of any kind and no warning You'll have to catch me first, said Rob, still
laughing, and to the amazement of the policeman he began rising straight into the air

Pashmina (Pashmina), Saturday, 3 January 2004 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Pash, are we to continue this story? Is that the idea?

the music mole (colin s barrow), Saturday, 3 January 2004 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

penis enlargening one titled "n Doc is in vbpp "

ice sang with an awe of its own, the wonder that the truth could feel so good. "I know..." "Here," he said, handing her the phone, "talk to my daughter while I hook another line up to the conference p her means

jed (jed_e_3), Saturday, 3 January 2004 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

music mole - various spam companies have started attaching bizarre text on to their messages - the idea i think is to excerpt the obscure stuff they put in their spams in order to confuse the spam filters/get you to read the email.

jed (jed_e_3), Saturday, 3 January 2004 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

Aha. Sneaky.

the music mole (colin s barrow), Saturday, 3 January 2004 21:47 (twenty-one years ago)

ice sang with an awe of its own

I really like this.

Prude (Prude), Saturday, 3 January 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

peasant but post rabbit, seen leave bit .
cauldron chin steady - howled sage nibbled.
upright curiosity cheer bodies cluck neither natured ?

More of a spam poem really - still bizarre though.

Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 4 January 2004 03:16 (twenty-one years ago)

From the ironically entitled Spam "Stop Spam Forever"

Hello,

Remove me,
this thing is unwanted;
Do you find lists,
self-hate,
together?

Consistently adding tons
did I know
wonders,
spammers,
friends?

You owe it,
tried, all bottom
this software
adding weeks, included
as many people possible.

Together, you hope, try...
I worked, haven't gotten
forward people clear.

Original:

This thing really works.
Do you find yourself consistantly adding your email address to ton's of spammers "remove me" lists?
I know I did. I tried out this software (the ad and link which I have included at the bottom of this email) and I haven't gotten an unwanted email in weeks. This program worked wonders for me. If you hate Spam like I do, you owe it to your self to try this program, and forward this email to all of your friends which also hate Spam or as many people possible.

Together lets help clear the Internet of Spam!

Hope this helps,
Rodney Greenwald
---------------------

Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 4 January 2004 03:27 (twenty-one years ago)

This is from the classic work "Are you naught or nice? Bedroom secret revealed" by none other than Luz Ortiz

"And now the Tin Woodman arrived, his body most beautifully nickle-plated, so that it shone splendidly in the brilliant light of the room

The Tin Woodman loved Dorothy most tenderly, and welcomed with joy the return of the little old Wizard
Your Majesty, said Rob, I have here another queer invention

Sir, said he to the latter, I never can thank you enough for the excellent heart you once gave me Will you please wear these spectacles for a few moments? The king at once put them on"

Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Sunday, 4 January 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

hooray for typos, that was "naughty or nice"
Which makes the story so much more interesting.

Øystein H-O (Øystein H-O), Sunday, 4 January 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

from accelerates recovery from athletic injury (2004)

Folks don't fall into the middle of the earth and then get back again to tell of their adventures--not in
real life

And the whole thing has been unnatural because that cat and I are both able to talk your language,
and to understand the words you say Rob was much frightened, on his part, for he knew if his
hands slipped from their hold he would fall to his death


And so can the nine tiny piglets, added Eureka Indeed, one hand was slipping already, so he made
a frantic clutch and caught firmly hold of the Turk's baggy trousers


If I, like, read all of my spam messages, do I get the whole story?

Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I find the idea of spammers fighting technology with literature incredibly amusing.

Dale the Titled (cprek), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Why is everyone in these stories called Rob?

Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:15 (twenty-one years ago)

yes, but it's totally fucked-up.

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:19 (twenty-one years ago)

I just had this deranged idea of the person responsible for composing spam emails being a failed novelist, and s/he is adding the text of thee 'unpublished masterwork' piecemeal to all of the spams they write in the hope that a publisher will accidentally read some junk mail and think 'hmm, some potential there'.

Pashmina (Pashmina), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Imagine the interviews in the Sunday supplements!?

"Yeah, you remember that really big spam entitled 'Jess1ca Simps0n cum guzzling harpy ready for your table'; in between all these descriptions of the nubile young singer performing dubious sexual acts and details of sites where one could attain these, I slipped what my publisher described as 'a heavenly slice of literary bliss'. No, I enjoyed writing the porn more, if I'm honest. But it's so anonymous, isn't it?"

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:24 (twenty-one years ago)

"Anyone could be wankign to it and they'd have no idea who I was."

Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

BAHAHAH. these all read like Marissa Marchant rants.

I think that we have a Country of CULTURALLY ILLITERATE PEOPLE. Our government does not place an emphasis on art and music in the school systems. They don't offer in depth programs for kids to learn about music at a young age. Our government doesn't fund talented people, like other countries. The country is in need of serious EAR training courses. They have no clue to what talent is and can't tell what great music is or isn't. At this point, from seeing how horrendous alot of these people are in the entertainment industry, I can tell that this country needs ear training. Not all of it is horrendous, but most of it is. And none of it is great. The studios are great, some of the production is great., but the talent isn't there, and our country doesn't care. The United States is not great country. This country doesn't support the arts and extremely talented people.

Kingfishee (Kingfish), Wednesday, 7 January 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
X-Authentication-Warning: abuilding highfalutin
Date: Fri, 20 Feb 2004 03:06:18 -0500
From: "Erick Nielsen"
Reply-To: "Erick Nielsen"
Message-ID: <234963861246249.437446812729833732822@dendrite>
Subject: intestinal buttonweed proliferate intense belying
References: <12624111010759252546281@landlord>
In-Reply-To: <12624111010759252546281@landlord>
X-Mailer: fischbein bombproof gutsy headstand

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bungalow change buildup archae componentry coliseum ellen colorimeter coeducation patchwork chant blithe gallonage
myoglobin brasilia catechism mardi sacrament faustian klan clay elector precede dwell chateau drape goose explain autism bewhisker aquarius eohippus abed dugout bed farce
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scala gluey cardioid billiken disambiguate sauterne eclat justinian minsk morphology landis gold chine boastful chapman peruvian brandt contour licensee base nutate
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antwerp delphic alewife excusable cackle frye fur duffy hyacinth inquest exudation resilient secondhand coralline furious engel absinthe hone siegel missile nantucket gallstone ecumenic departure furthest
gerry ebony access howsomever impatient duffel low chef ablution aries goodyear roster rilly gaussian comatose filial counterargument dobbin electress goldeneye caulk galapagos rabid clifford holmes indefinite homomorphism fluent commonality bronco
implementation belvidere jacobsen newbold cranky regiment dinosaur ceramium crank blather electrocardiograph diopter irrevocable seashore il imputation lineprinter gorton sabra digging downing centrifugate cyclotomic millinery arrowhead breastwork boatman lunacy ambulate josef enid jerk marten facial empower cerebellum frostbitten human commonality ahoy
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implicant boyfriend gerundive conciliatory broadway appleton disparage ripoff ammoniac family preparation saunders handbook medicate rwanda demography fractionate parry berra
appropriable dater elliot aroma diphtheria awesome chigger hectic lubbock behavioral abase potato capacitive naval mettle cowslip aliphatic allen rutledge finessed buteo hysterectomy backhand danubian extol burro disastrous heterostructure purcell colonel inexplainable filler fetter
gettysburg asterisk authoritative morel scarecrow cyclotron hartman pall annular augustan dendritic automat earth horrify edifice botulism open adler
certified he'd ravenous furthermost deject billfold felon ducat abram crud
hefty ahmadabad graybeard address busy raoul chin exclusive bull boar control bus babyhood fake goucher groundskeep crafty iv loveland itself hazelnut concertmaster medford cheap faust inflater dee ersatz frieze fusillade foulmouth preponderate goldman
shipbuild cabinetmake afterword polo rerouting congress sheathe mansion olga bucket guerdon homeopath jubilate callaghan paramus parthenon lieutenant pierson confess anomie contretemps gondola deferrable highland seville patrimonial icarus cargill advantageous ariadne arccosine hotelman mephistopheles mumford
commerce rosen kipling dianne dialysis oncoming acropolis brazzaville chevrolet guilford kaskaskia byzantium greenwood earthenware afternoon
kampala rug polymeric anorexia cosine circulatory mace nolan barricade compliant hindmost lucille guild monogamy cosmetic capitulate baboon bechtel fulcrum fodder christensen collegial gop h's logarithm ingrown booky daredevil decide replicate
ackley ballyhoo haley fang jose david everett desirous grandpa deceive ajar sideboard append barge person graph celibacy disneyland cod laterite fragrant alley reciprocity confect inapt savannah regulatory framework
countywide indissoluble meddle punish glendale erudition extricable apperception rockbound sardine crust bewhisker highland equipped ark pine regal canny pulsar femur reedbuck indentation cargoes dint carolingian doria athens checkmate homesick catalogue cahoot charles avenge brethren exist armco cruz aerobic
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grease cheese irreproducible fog abrade brainard microjoule ayers bernardo newcastle coastline customary hyades english screwbean emigrant aberrant brainard counsel pinafore polariton chunky scoria incise pea hairy harold gentry confucian
random preamble breathe reeve coppery celandine casework compleat buckshot legatee

teeny (teeny), Friday, 20 February 2004 15:16 (twenty-one years ago)

My lord! It's like the ultimate Language poem!

Prude (Prude), Friday, 20 February 2004 19:36 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
New and improved spam, with a green font:

info crump bathe sextillion analeptic c= 's
brunswick charlottesville alpine mutatis diagnosable sisal
took massif axial bandpass satisfaction wellesley
deck mortgage sophistry archer ballfield diatom
baneful gerhard palladium delusive carbone phage
standby bubble scorch gnat collimate betroth
span arenaceous annulling detonable cultural impunity
methodic matchbook avowal bushel relic honorific
diplomacy andre bullseye balloon coulter piss
shortage bigot electrician ox kalmia touch
muscat hamper alderman depletion ymca gnash
texan asteroidal clatter mash at bourgeois
caveman barefoot allyl dividend burial begotten
= obelisk heyday attach metropolis drainage bock
acorn stopover dewitt ephemeris el rundown
heckman earthquake bivariate jocose arthritis declarator
somal group countenance productivity pliocene arpeggio
aylesbury africa assess archbishop blast abstention
vought chiefdom dollop politic benediction trenton
trifluouride regard anastigmatic whereas beta printmake
aug fever arcsine debarring blaine carrara
depend cardamom concretion alicia chaos beijing
slovakia gratis verna calf duma byrne
lambda inconspicuous aspersion woolgather asheville allyl
azure tour bred reconcile vein backside
bundoora immunization invariant versa preemptor biplane


mouse, Sunday, 4 April 2004 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Spam random poetry can be quite beautiful. Here's one I got yesterday:

Subject: control dirty gwpoaw

country rail after so degree flame building front normal electric wool as tray complete theory value way harbor powder ant band able waiting surpri electric bird free silver shelf public dark wax foolish design comb new neck roll fixed brain wire salt of flag tin tall

V 1 . C . O . D . I . M drain

breadbrass.com

enough doubt finger female field fish quiet comb ornament serious meat sky medical organization wound theory form pot like thing cook complex cry roll opposite full retrelation till quick of offer wall square feather quite need arm framegarden rub attempt black price steel again process discovery flag woman than cushion taste long south man cotton hearing ear though rod under than rhythm taste request instrument fdtpxy jmelvd pqojrk msdvee maerfx dytmmx ievawl oxddsh xnrmpv vvpbvj kktuop lbhdcl uukskc dapbwf urufco sfvgie krsgod bilekb hhicbf dukxcg kmoxgj uohwws iwjrgt hygmvs xcqlof xqpsgy fuvprf xyhhxp wlgunw efrcvj ejpkgl xqkxrt smbpxj lgtrnn mxsqjk pwenpo kjudxx vhfjpb erxqps yglqdr ugtfro pmfnvn lqdrib awuydi iavfir biaswg svihml vpmvmh rrpcro agwdra ogikcq qdsmsf holbgb apmbym smfhun yhnpkj foqmgc mfsnvh wvwrkf fuvecj ouctks qwvfco awlyul gsslnq scrhxt kokdlh pvequr qfjwxe oufhww uqshhe sntlla hrtaad xjloer eqnyii rotncn opdxkw kdyimk rcvxtl ewgxld qqkhhn rnfese fqoytl pywvvf kigdcs ljrfww rdxwvn pbvhau ydalli pdbbos nrpfwq seelfc hxbibd onkfql iepvvh

A Nairn (moretap), Sunday, 4 April 2004 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I like this one

hostage cassock glimpse drastic dress instrument fermion front utica guber=
natorial conservatism=20
condense insensitive blasphemy lindbergh roman crummy emanate arsenal deaf=
en abstractor tremulous=20
pagan handle periphrastic alcestis duress sprue attestation amaranth bagpi=
pe cravat tapa acrobacy peddle commonweal biotite additive stratton peregr=
ine windshield came slope sweepstake fiftieth=20
lymphocyte sex sussex snore diplomacy decorous periphrastic ellis audacity=
siskin staminate addressograph protector grantee problematic dater octoge=
narian devastate durham systemwide ripen whitney antenna conflict vein sch=
neider appendage beatific intensify gradual revving angora lift comedian=20=

badger Kitten (badger Kitten), Monday, 5 April 2004 07:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Spam or Ghostface lyrics contest:
http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/000501.html

Sym (shmuel), Monday, 5 April 2004 07:42 (twenty-one years ago)

at u miss better best ever alot of overlook Belive it more more need
sweety
catch at things happy thing the this in the of is saw of all Belive
Don't
Miracles all self life these shit where Miracles of happy catch will
like
where she at things is meds sure more the meds will Don't things this
things
is overlook happy these best we is to of where happen . for this saw do
she things of want in u these Miracles best it this alot should things
want want better do of ever should happen Disrepect we will

hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 5 April 2004 09:17 (twenty-one years ago)

If I told him would he like it. Would he like it if I told him.
Would he like it would Napoleon would Napoleon would would he like it.
If Napoleon if I told him if I told him if Napoleon. Would he like it if I told him if I told him if Napoleon. Would he like it if Napoleon if Napoleon if I told him. If I told him if Napoleon if Napoleon if I told him. If I told him would he like it would he like it if I told him.
Now.
Not now.
And now.
Now.
Exactly as as kings.
Feeling full for it.
Exactitude as kings.
So to beseech you as full as for it.
Exactly or as kings.
Shutters shut and open so do queens. Shutters shut and shutters and so shutters shut and shutters and so and so shutters and so shutters shut and so shutters shut and shutters and so. And so shutters shut and so and also. And also and so and so and also.
Exact resemblance to exact resemblance the exact resemblance as exact as a resemblance, exactly as resembling, exactly resembling, exactly in resemblance exactly a resemblance, exactly and resemblance. For this is so. Because.
Now actively repeat at all, now actively repeat at all, now actively repeat at all.
Have hold and hear, actively repeat at all.
I judge judge.
As a resemblance to him.
Who comes first. Napoleon the first.
Who comes too coming coming too, who goes there, as they go they share, who shares all, all is as all as as yet or as yet.
Now to date now to date. Now and now and date and the date.
Who came first Napoleon at first. Who came first Napoleon the first. Who came first, Napoleon first.
Presently.
Exactly as they do.
First exactly.
Exactly as they do too.
First exactly.
And first exactly.
Exactly as they do.
And first exactly and exactly.
And do they do.
At first exactly and first exactly and do they do.
The first exactly.
At first exactly.
First as exactly.
At first as exactly.
Presently.
As presently.
As as presently.
He he he he and he and he and and he and he and he and and as and as he and as he and he. He is and as he is, and as he is and he is, he is and as he and he and as he is and he and he and and he and he.
Can curls rob can curls quote, quotable.
As presently.
As exactitude.
As trains.
Has trains.
Has trains.
As trains.
As trains.
Presently.
Proportions.
Presently.
As proportions as presently.
Father and farther.
Was the king or room.
Farther and whether.
Was there was there was there what was there was there what was there was there there was there.
Whether and in there.
As even say so.
One.
I land.
Two.
I land.
Three.
The land.
Three.
The land.
Two.
I land.
Two.
I land.
One.
I land.
Two.
I land.
As a so.
They cannot.
A note.
They cannot.
A float.
They cannot.
They dote.
They cannot.
They as denote.
Miracles play.
Play fairly.
Play fairly well.
A well.
As well.
As or as presently.
Let me recite what history teaches. History teaches.

hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 5 April 2004 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Autism Q. Denunciations just HAS to be the patron saint of ILM.

Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 5 April 2004 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

whoaaa, hmmm. That one is incredible!

A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 5 April 2004 13:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Yeah. It's totally awesome isn't it.

hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 5 April 2004 13:21 (twenty-one years ago)

It's actually a poem by Gertrude Stein called "IF I TOLD HIM a Completed Portrait of Picasso". It's awesome how similar it is to the spam poetry. It's a bit better though.

Sorry for not specifiying what it actually was, I just wanted to see what would happen.

hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 5 April 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

ooh, but yeah, I totaly thouht it was randomly made by a computer

A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 5 April 2004 13:24 (twenty-one years ago)

And it kind of makes it worse knowing it is just an avant garde writer is just an avant garde writer is just an avant garde writer is just an avant garde writer.

A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 5 April 2004 13:36 (twenty-one years ago)

I quite like it. I just came across it the other day on a DJ spooky CD where he mixes Ms. Stein reading it over a DJ wally track. Works quite well.

hmmm (hmmm), Monday, 5 April 2004 13:40 (twenty-one years ago)

field why toe boiling potato answer other new let attempt snow second development bulb lead north harbor finger curtain over as over door degree representative process pain political now some ill teaching cover secretary white dress sign noise sort different paste air white driving certain stretch direction mist operation kick move please any crush education same electric sweet sky stitch bite pig road reward girl boiling wax building before complete


Click Here For V i c o d i n and X a n e x and C i a l i s


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sunjamm, Monday, 5 April 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Welcome to the little ladies paradise.
Here you will meet small erotic nymphets.
They are ready to show off their cute hairless pussies,
developing tits with hard tasty nipples and tight pink asses.

Some of our finest models are still too shy - no wonder, most of them
spread their legs in front of someone else for the first time.

Yes, thats right beautifull virgin ladies expose their pure bodies in front of
the cameras just for you ! And moreover, this barely legal babies play with
different adult toys, sticks huge dildos and more ! MAny man would like to
possess such chiks - and soon you will see the lucky guys penetrating their
tight virgin
fuck holes !

Prude (Prude), Monday, 5 April 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.firstpr.com.au/stick-insect/Nicolae-stick1-2.jpg

Dada, Monday, 5 April 2004 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...
Just found this in my inbox :

dissimetrie apt-invest mdf wismoth

A special Swimming tournament that is about to take place. For the tournament, the participants include a guy without arms, one without legs, one with just a torso, and... just a head. Starting pistol goes off, everyone goes forward, but the head sinks right away. After the event, reporters ask: What did you count on?"Well, see," the head says, "I've spent seven years in training to use my ears... but those idiots put a swimming cap on them."

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Tommy, a child in¡¡the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Tommy, what's the matter?"Little Tommy responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm gonna have a wife."

In Newcastle, England, recently a cat called Ziggy was found to have stolen things worth more than 1,000 pounds from houses in the neighborhood of its owner. At first, people reported to the police that they had many things stolen and Helen Lucarelli, Ziggy's owner, kept finding new things in her kitchen,. The things were not hers and they included jewelry, underwear, toys, napkins from a restaurant, watches, rubber gloves, soap, and a hat,. Ziggy even got back police tape that had been important in a case. Helen had no idea where these things had come from, so she gave them to local charity shops. When the whole thing was fond out, Helen said to her friends. "It was awfully embarrassing when I found so much strange underwear in my kitchen."

Three tourists climbed up the tower with London's Big Ben and decided to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch them before they hit the ground. The first tourist threw his watch but heard it crash before the had taken three steps. the second threw his watch and made only tow steps before hearing his watch shatter . The third tourist threw his watch off the tower, went down the stairs, bought a snack at a shop up the street and walked slowly back to Big Ben in time to catch the watch." How did you do that?" asked one of his friends. " My watch is 30 minutes slow." he explained.

zeng1ammattivest07akyab.

That's all. No sales pitch. WTF?

Frühlingsj4n (Wintermute), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"zeng1ammattivest07akyab" is the sales pitch.

martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

I guess it's Hungarian for "your dick is too small".

Frühlingsj4n (Wintermute), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Pretty much. It literally translates to "You have a snake that is not like a long snake."

martin m. (mushrush), Monday, 26 April 2004 22:27 (twenty-one years ago)

this one is magnificent:

truthfully . she these biggger is all what u Disrepect best truthfully
truthfully u is Belive in this them people happen best to peace we the
will biggger them is tellin shit best Love that is best shit man to
stuff
is yourself where this the peace them where Don't happen meds overlook
don't u this thing yourself your later peace thing you shit this best u
is this this of thing of things alot is things u make Belive of need
Don't
things overlook happy ever . shit should is stuff better it life that
products
Don't is is

hmmm (hmmm), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:43 (twenty-one years ago)

it's 'belive' repeatedly mis-spelled that makes it.

hmmm (hmmm), Friday, 30 April 2004 11:47 (twenty-one years ago)

one month passes...
presoft adsnet bigras balls-out arabesques
 
 
 
gostima mokkurkalfi norvi
What does that matter?' answered Ali.'Well, my writing is so strange that only I can read it , and if I have to travel a long way to read your letter to your wife , it will cost you a lot of money.' Ali went away quickly

An old man died and left his son a lot of money.But the son was a foolish young man, and he quickly spent all the money, so that soon he had nothing left. Of course,when that happened,all his friends left him. When he was quite poor and alone, he went to see Nasreddin, who was a kind, clever old man and often helped people when they had troubles. ¡¡ 'My money has finished and my friends have gone,' said the young man. 'What will happen to me now?' ¡¡ 'Don't worry, young man,' answered Nasreddn. 'Everything will soon be all right again. Wait, and you will soon feel much happier.' ¡¡ The young man was very glad. 'Am I going to get rich again then?' he asked Nasreddin. ¡¡ 'No, I didn't mean that,' said the old man. 'I meant that you would soon get used to being poor and to having no friends.'

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman.""Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?""They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once."Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
whitesand7yokuhlela05lunokusetyenziswa .

:|, Wednesday, 23 June 2004 14:25 (twenty years ago)


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