What daft things have you said to your pet?

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Yesterday, out of the blue, I said this to our cat:

"You're my long-haired lover from Liverpool."

Even though

a) he has never been anywhere near Liverpool.
b) he is short-haired
c) he doesn't speak English

Please tell me I'm not the only one.

― R t V (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 13:47 (twenty-two years ago)

"do you know what time it is?"

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 14:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha.

― R t V (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

having said that, the cat was running up and down stairs trying to make noise. It stared blankly at me when I said it. Then I said "It's a Bank Holiday monday", so she shrugged and went downstairs. Normally.

― mark grout (mark grout), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 14:15 (twenty-two years ago)

1. Look at the moon.
2. Stop pulling.

Anything other than his name and 'sit.'

― youn, Wednesday, 14 January 2004 20:49 (twenty-two years ago)

"Buster!? What the fuck?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 20:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no. These responses are so logical that I now realise how far I've lost the plot. I'd been hoping to be reassured that talking surreal bollocks to the cat was normal.

― R t V (Jake Proudlock), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"ow! stop eating me! here, go eat the girl!"

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 22:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Nothing I say to them is half as weird as the stuff they say to me.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 22:06 (twenty-two years ago)

oookay...

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I went through a phase when I was 8 or 9 where I referred to my dog as Dinty Moore beef stew when I spoke to him.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"With 65% more dog!"

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I once called my cat Sindy "my little captain of industry".

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I have taken to calling one of my cats "sir" when he meows at me:

him: "meow"
me: "no thank you sir"

this can go on for ten minutes

Also, I like to point at him and yell, "You're the man now, Dog!"

because, you see, he is neither a man, nor a dog. So, funny.

― anthony kyle monday (akmonday), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"I want to eat your face!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I talk to my cats constantly. I am one of "those" people, the ones who love their cats so much it's kind of scary.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 14 January 2004 23:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I have yelled 'you're the man now, dog' at my dog.

He was unimpressed.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 00:03 (twenty-two years ago)

i once said to my dog, 'here's your last chance fancy don't let me down'. silly 'cos her name is bella.

― saza bob, Thursday, 15 January 2004 01:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I have pointed out to family dog Lexie that she is a wondrously ridiculous beastie, which is accurate, but does not change her attitude or approach to life. A good thing really.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 15 January 2004 02:00 (twenty-two years ago)

what?

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Thursday, 15 January 2004 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

(not to my dog, but...)

"ha ha DO IT PEANUT! HUMP THAT FUCKER!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 02:53 (twenty-two years ago)

(Peanut = little yip dog)
("that fucker" = passed-out drunk dude's leg)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 15 January 2004 02:54 (twenty-two years ago)

six months pass...

to my cat: "Have you been smoking?!"

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 12 August 2004 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

said my friend to my cat "Gypsy, are you Muslim?"

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Thursday, 12 August 2004 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"Benchley, would you like some chicken?" I also reguglarly ask him his opinion on political questions though his resposnes have so far been laconic, to say the least.

― Michael White (Hereward), Thursday, 12 August 2004 15:32 (twenty-two years ago)

To the cat:

"Ooh, you do have furry districts"

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 12 August 2004 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

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