ILX kitchen noticeboard

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Who's eating all the Weetabix? they're mine

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Is that milk or cheese in the fridge? Quite frankly I can't tell any more.

We've got half a dead seagull in the garden. Who wants to remove it?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

C-Man rang.

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:51 (twenty-one years ago)

The cat will take care of the seagull, I'm sure

― caitlin (caitlin), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

My mother is coming round next week, can you all remove your pron from the living room before that, and possibly attempt to tidy up a bit?

― chris (chris), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:53 (twenty-one years ago)

CLEANING ROTA:

No-one?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Fuck it, let's just get a cleaner.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought that blackboard in your kitchen would cause trouble Alang.

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

The seagull is mine. Leave it alone.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

THE FRIDGE IS NOT A COMMUNE. I AM NOT FILTHY RICH AND THEREFORE CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY TWO PINTS OF SOMERFIELD SEMI-SKIMMED MILK EVERY FUCKING DAY! CONSTANT OFFENDERS WILL HENCEFORTH BE REPORTED TO THE LANDLORD.

THANK YOU.

AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, SOCIALISM STOPS AT MY SHALLOTS!

THANK YOU.

― Phoebe Dinsmore, Thursday, 15 January 2004 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha My housemates and I are still debating whether or not to get a cleaner.

I am 26.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen my bicarbonate of soda?

Chris, what are you going to do about the smoke coming from Dave Q's room?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

And STOP STEPPING ON THE SCALEXTRIC!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Barry you're a bald cunt and if you don't hoover the living room I'm going set fire to your fucking cat.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick do you not think having 43 empty wine bottles on the mantlepiece is a bit excessive? Please clear it up.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Those underpants can be discarded now. I've decided I don't want them.

Also: C-Man's social-worker called.

― omg, Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Plz stop kicking gardn nome, IT IS THERE FOR A REASON!!!

― William Bloody Swygart (mrswygart), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Indian Takeaways s/d
Search: The Asha 0207 546 2162
Standard Tandoori 0207 689 6891
The Indian Chef 0208 465 1359
Destroy: Holloway Tandoori 0207 564 2156

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:09 (twenty-one years ago)

If Stevem rings, I'm not in.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

STOP TAKING MY FUCKING UMBRELLA! EVERYONE KNOWS ITS THE PINK ONE WITH THE POP-UP PIG EYES!

― omg, Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

If anyone has my Simpsons mug, please could they return it to the cupboard immediately. It's been 5 years. thx.

― robster (robster), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

WHO MOVED MY CHEESE?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Are we going to get anyone else in to live in Doomie's room? Or do you think he'll come back again? Does the landlord even know?

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Whose homework is this?

http://members.lycos.co.uk/jwc/wanking.jpg

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Thursday, 15 January 2004 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll move them on Sunday like I always do, Matt. It's only a week's worth.

PS HAS ANYONE SEEN THE ALIEN?! I need it for work.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT

STEVE

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:23 (twenty-one years ago)

DO NOT TOUCH THE VIDEO, TAPING DAWSON

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I've had ENoUGH with the gamelan at 4am already. SToP iT.

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:28 (twenty-one years ago)

There were SIX bottles of Christal in here. Replace them by tonight and I'll turn a blind eye. Any later and you won't see dawn. Peace out, E.

― Enrique (Enrique), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear ILX,

I resign. There are too many crap records, old copies of Sight and Sound, jizzy tissues, Buffy DVDs, empty wine bottles, Amazon packaging and overpriced shoes here for me to even START cleaning.

Thx bye.

Doris (the cleaner)

PS. I have taken a rather amusing Simpsons mug in lieu of the wages you owe me.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

HAS ANYONE SEEN MY SIMPSONS MUG??

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Out of town again this weekend, dunno when I'll be back. Forgot to go shopping oops! I think there is some coffee tho.

xoxo
Ally

PS if Spencer rings ask him about the French music.

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:35 (twenty-one years ago)

Where's Donnie?

― Llahtuos Kcin (Nick Southall), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Dean Wormer called. As of now this house is on DOUBLE SECRET PROBATION and if we don't all raise our grade point averages we're OUT!

― Tom Hulse (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god oh my god oh my god!

― Hoover (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

― John Belushi (Mark C), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

STEVEM STOP USING MY MUG!!

― robster (robster), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

CORK IT SHRIMP

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

WANK MOUTHZ GO!

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear Tom Hulse:

Your girlfriend is only 13.

xoxox
Ally

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:44 (twenty-one years ago)

rather amusingly, the U, in MOUTHZ, is, in fact, an upside down n and the !, at the end, is really an upside down i.

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Please archive your threads, don't just leave them on the surface for someone else to do your job

― Jaunty Alan (Alan), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:49 (twenty-one years ago)

RJG:

Do you have any plastic injections you can lend me? Don't ask.

xoxox
Ally

― Allyzay, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

*constant hammering*

― Carter Hayes, Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

AL:

that's not any of my business

RJGXXX

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:51 (twenty-one years ago)

THE NEXT PERSON TO USE THE FONDUE POT WITHOUT CLEANING IT AFTERWARDS GREETS A MESSY AND UNTIMELY DEATH!

Sincerely,

The Management

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:54 (twenty-one years ago)

U R ALL GAY.

― Chris V (Chris V), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:55 (twenty-one years ago)

What?

― ken c (ken c), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Note to ALL:

PLEEZ dispose of your prophylactics in a proper manner, not squiching them into a Coke can, which you then drop into trash basket in the bathroom. The last time you did this had unintended consequences when the cans were returned for deposit...

― Kingfishee (Kingfish), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

This house has gone to shit. I'm moving out.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 15 January 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 111 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

~~Hey, who crossed out NOW on my last note? At least I won't have to hear someone playing guitar at 4 in the morning.~~

who moved my Marshall amp?

― MarkH (MarkH), Friday, 16 January 2004 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

battle of algiers - saturday - westside pavilion (7:10) or laemmle's sunset 5 (7:00) - see you there!

― youn, Saturday, 17 January 2004 00:50 (twenty-one years ago)

toot toot!

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 17 January 2004 01:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Alang if you're going to take in several kittens PLEASE clean out the litter box before the EPA busts us.

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 17 January 2004 01:47 (twenty-one years ago)

― j.lu (j.lu), Saturday, 17 January 2004 03:50 (twenty-one years ago)

What happens when a kitten swallows the Ring of Power.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 17 January 2004 04:03 (twenty-one years ago)

My kitchen noticeboard has Paul Morley on it.

― the pinefox, Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Wouldn't he be uncomfortable?

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

It's to punish him for most of the first 120 pages of his last book.

It has to improve considerably before I unpin him and let him down.

― the pinefox, Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:26 (twenty-one years ago)

That sounds tough yet fair.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Saturday, 17 January 2004 14:41 (twenty-one years ago)

dear ilx, the april 1st fap thread is not a joke. thx k bye, coz xxx

― cozen (Cozen), Saturday, 17 January 2004 15:33 (twenty-one years ago)

dear all, please kick paul morley in the nuts as you walk by, he must learn

― Ed (dali), Saturday, 17 January 2004 16:08 (twenty-one years ago)

People,
I've fed Paul Morely the last wek running. It is SOMEONE ELSE'S TURN to go to the shops for rock critic food. A music journalist is for life, not just for Christmas.

― Anna (Anna), Saturday, 17 January 2004 17:11 (twenty-one years ago)

six months pass...

no asssex on the couch please.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 10:45 (twenty-one years ago)

and no trucker hats, please.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 10:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi guys!

My therapist says I'll better in touch with myself and my "issues" if I don't wear any clothes at home and just let my Natural Beauty shine. In case you wonder.

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas,

Finally!!!

Love Pink xxx

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:06 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi.

Today I also decided to dye my pubies orange, so if you find any orange hair in your food, it'd be mine. Be nice to the little fellows.

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear All,

Sometimes you can go too far!

K thanx bye!

P xxx

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:12 (twenty-one years ago)

What's the matter with you guys?

You're all keeping your doors locked, and I haven't spoken to anyone except Pink for two days. Don't you like my Natural Beauty?

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi guys!

I've talked with my therapist, and she says you have issues with nudity which need to be confronted. To help you confront them I'm gonna wake you up every morning with my penis. It's for your own good. :)

Love,
Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:24 (twenty-one years ago)

is it cut or -un?

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Tuomas
Wake me with your penis if you must, but slapping me about the face with it is not the way to do it.
Regards,
Nick

― St. Nicholas (Nick A.), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Mike:
I noticed you didn't write down the call you made in the 'calls we each make' book. I wonder how many other calls you've conveniently forgotten to write down.

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:31 (twenty-one years ago)

dear tuomas,

i must warn you that i often bite while i'm sleeping.

ken

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear All,

Ken didn't mention that he also shouts out all of our names in his sleep. Yeah I'm listening buddy!

P x

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, when I was living with my previous flatmate, before she moved in I warned her that she shouldn't be surprised if she'd wake up one night and find me standing in her bedroom naked, singing an aria. When she was moving out, she confessed she was disappointed that this never actually happened.

I miss her.

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Lady, quite whining!

P x

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen the robot I've been working on in the basement? In my aims for a utopian society, I imbued it with the latest in AI - a sense of reasonableness to 1/1000th of a degree and a set of liberal Scandinavian attitudes, as well as an ambiguous sexual attractiveness and a certain sense of vanity. But all it ever thinks about is its winky. It answers to the name of Tuomas, and is uncircumcised (this info may well be useful to you).

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Mark!

I'm off, the world is mine!

Sincerely,

The Robot

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark, your robot appears to have taken over the world and forced the entire population to shed our clothes and dye our pubes orange. Also, you've still not washed your breakfast bowl and the cornflakes are now like concrete.

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi Mark, I'm back!

The world turned out to be an awful place full of mean people, none of whom want to talk about penises. I'd much rather stay here.

Love,
The Robot

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:37 (twenty-one years ago)

001011011011010111010110111011010101010110101101011101101101011011011011111011010101101101011010111011011011000101010001010001010111001101100100111001110011000 means love

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:39 (twenty-one years ago)

1001 menas a girl with two large boobs with both her arms raised horizontally.

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:58 (twenty-one years ago)

010 is a circumcision gone wrong

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 13:59 (twenty-one years ago)

dear ilx,

i think i'd prefer real porn strewn around the house to number code porn.

thanks!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:18 (twenty-one years ago)

p.s. tuomas, what on earth were you doing to end up with orange pubes in the ice trays?!

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Colette,

I get around.

-Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:23 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.collegegear.com/sf/stores/product_images/1505.jpg

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:27 (twenty-one years ago)

ken,

you're banned from google image search.

but i'm giggling.

you must now create a house cheer to use those pompoms with.

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Kate,
When come back bring pie
- Julian Assablancas

― Julian (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Has anyone seen my trucker hat? I lent it to Gear ages ago. I bet it'll turn up down the back of the sofa or something.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Mark,

The trucker hat is now wedged in the folds of my sweet sweet ass quim. You can help me pluck it out tonight.

Love,

Assy

― Gearsroomate (Chris V), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttp://uk.geocities.com/turnipfish1/fridgememo.txt

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear housemates,

Your message about the shower has caused me to blush in shame at your behavior. Clean the tub!

Love, your pirate fridge magnet

― jocelyn (Jocelyn), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 14:50 (twenty-one years ago)

Fellow kitchen-users:

Please do not ever use the word quim. It's easy to confuse with quince, which are sweet
and delicious.

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeremy,

So is my ass.

Love,

Assy

― Assy (Chris V), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.vh.org/adult/provider/anatomy/atlasofanatomy/plate32/images/32-4_static.jpg

― j e r e m y (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.ubu.com/found/ass/lingling.gif

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Hi guys!

Who let Amazing Randy out of his cage? You know it's gonna take the whole day to put him back.

Tuomas

― Tuomas (Tuomas), Tuesday, 20 July 2004 21:05 (twenty-one years ago)

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