I was bored and did a Craig's List experiment. slightly depressing, if predictable, results ensued

- from a 47 year old married man: "my wife and daughter are driving me up a wall, so a good fuck with you would help."

- from a 21 year old college student: "you sound hot, give me your number"

- from a 30ish "professional trainer": "As you can see from this photo, I'm ripped up, in totally great shape. I can go all night, and maybe you can keep up with me. My girlfriend can't."

- from a self-proclaimed 'nice guy': "I really am a good guy, but the girl I'm seeing just isn't doing it for me anymore. I'd love to take you out to dinner and then have a quiet night of passion at an oceanside motel."

- from a 20something guy who looks like he stepped off that infamous Manowar album cover: "u need good sex I can tell or u wouldnt be cumming (LOL) onto this site...i can help u, and you wont go back to your guy after youve had me"

- from a married 52 year old businessman with an email that was something along the lines (but not exactly) of "jennysdad@....: "I'm looking for something discreet and ongoing. interested?" (I could only think of 'Jenny', poor kid....)

- from a sad faced 24 yr old: "My girlfriend isn't around and I get lonely when she's at work....if you're not working today I can come over and we can see how things go...."

- from what was clearly a form response: "Hello! I'm a 28 year old grad student who is studying law! I'm very interested to hear more about you and I liked what you had to say. I'm looking for the same thing as you, and hopefully we can find some common ground and maybe even meet. From your description (?) you sound very attractive and from your words (??) you sound very intelligent! That's rare to find on a site such as this, which is why your ad stood out for me. I'd love to hear much more about you. I've attached a pic of myself, taken very recently. That's me on my boat! That's right, I own a boat. If you're lucky perhaps we can go sailing sometime! A romantic night at sea, listening to music, talking about life and live and other aspects of the world we live in now. Please reply soon! Thanks!"

- another fellow sent a pic with this message: "this is me and my ex girlfriend, I'm single right now!" This picture was him clearly on some romantic evening out with a poor hapless girl who was kissing his cheek. I'm not sure how "ex" she was since the photo had a date in the lower right corner of 1/18/04(!)

- finally, a reply from this gentleman: "I'm a romantic, II've been told I resemble the barillas pasta guy (I don't see it, but I've heard) in face and in humble romantisism. maybe I'll bring a bag of pasta over and we can enjoy a night of Italian romance...."

most of them were boring and along the lines of "here's my number, call me!" with an attached pic of a face or a cock.

I imagine this guy looking like the 'trained gorilla' in the one AbFab episode. "O-KAY! Let's get to work on those abdominals!"

Suggestions:

- Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
- Try different keywords.
- Try more general keywords.

Space?

Has Star Trek taught you nothing, Ned?