Gerald Sinstadt

But I think the main man I have to thank for initially becoming Blue is a little man with a moustache and glasses who looked uncannily like the cartoon  tax inspector who keeps popping up to tell us about self-assessment... his name was Gerald Sinstadt, and he comes from a time long gone, when Sunday afternoons meant not Sky Sports Super Sunday, Manchester United vs Anybody, but our very own, free, north-west regional 'Kick Off Match'. The concept of ITV's football coverage in the late 1970s and early 80s is probably impossible to grasp for anyone under the age of 21. Believe it or not, each region had it's own hour-long highlights programme every Sunday at 3 o'clock (usually just after 'The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams', a fictional character reportedly based on Gerry Gow). Granada's 'Kick Off Match' was easily distinguished by it's fantastic theme tune - something that sounded as though it was being performed on a Rolf Harris Stylophone. This classic piece of music began and ended with five seconds of the Stylophone pencil frantically and haphazardly scribbling over the metal bit that made the sound, with the main body of the piece consisting of the same five notes being played repeatedly in ever ascending key. It may not rank alongside 'Bohemian Rhapsody' or 'Blue Guitar' as the most profound of musical statements from the era, but for me it was the highlight of the week, as it signalled the arrival of my ticket to the weird and wonderful world of professional football.

The great thing about 'Kick Off Match' was that City were on it for roughly two weeks out of every three. If we were at home, of course, there was a more than even chance of us being featured, with Gerald Sinstadt doing the commentary. It's so strange to hear Sinstadt's lack-lustre commentaries for the BBC these days, because back in the days of 'Kick Off', his enthusiasm was so infectious, he truly brought some of the unique atmosphere of Maine Road - or wherever - into Sam's old back room.

I hope he's not dead.

COMPLETE FICTIONAL WORKS

* Cup Tie, (ss) Argosy (UK) Dec 1966
* * Cut Out, (ss) Argosy (UK) Mar 1966
* * Diary of a Mercenary, (ss) Argosy (UK) Jun 1967
* * Never a Loose End, (ss) Argosy (UK) Aug 1966

I think that I have in mind the grain of his voice - the awkwardness that is not worried about itself. The slowness which nonetheless never falls behind the action of the late-night highlights he relates. The seeming stodginess which nevertheless encodes or alllows or includes wryness.

All of this is not to remark on the image. The man who has visisted so many playing grounds and training grounds and held interviews walking along the green side of lush fields.

A mystery lingers around the man.

The Nipper told me earlier that he imagined Sinstadt as looking like Alan Whicker. And I could not but say: Yes - he does! At least somewhat.

the holy trinity

I can't remember anything about Gerald Sinstadt at all.

In the ATV region we had STAR SOCCER with Gary Newbon.

Are you at each other's house?

Classic Gerry: at Goodison, Nov '77, the flowing, glowing Everton side Bingham couldn't marshal who magically gelled for Lee - Sinstadt roaring his approval as Latchford drills EFC's sixth vs Coventry City. Another explosion of Gerryjoy - Cyrille Regis bursting Stepney's net, the violent upstroke of a satisfied tick-mark on MU 3-5 WBA, Xmas '78.

Elton W as commentator - the Blues going top (briefly; LFC and West Brom lurked with fistfuls of games in hand as Britain pulled on another sweater in the Big Freeze) in Feb '79, Bristol City crushed at home with an Andy King hat-trick.

I remember when they brought Kick-Off back in about 1988. I was so excited - a sure sign that football was coming out of the post-Heysel doldrums when Granada decided to give 30 Friday evening minutes to previewing the Saturday fixtures (or Friday in the case of Tranmere and Stockport) and interview with Tony Philliskirk and David Reeves. Total classic.

Dud moment for Gerald Sinstadt - he was the BBCs man at Spurs recently when Spurs won; he sounded senile. His description of the game sounded like that of a man who's had a stroke reading it out but not understanding what any of the words actually meant. Sad.

Gerry always makes me think of gravy, as I associate his voice with that regional commentating slot at the same time as we'd eat dinner in front of said regional show. Happy days etc.

Best Phrase Ever - well, *definitely* Best Phrase About Gerald Sinstadt Ever.

Miller: yes, he was at mine and I was at his - that's how we did it.

THE FIDELIO SCORE is a must-read, almost literally. I wonder whether 'SCORE' has a double or even treble entendre in this work.

It concluded: "And now he's gone" - that last word choked out as if he was overcome by unexpected poignancy, by the pointlessness of life and death. Then he recovered to say, in maybe shaking and certainly sincere-sounding final voice: "Sleep well, Gentle Giant".