Am I alone in this ambition?

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When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn't go and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens . . . So maybe I ought to practise a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple. "Warning" by Jenny Joseph

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

sorry thats hard to read, Lady Die just pointed out to me that I need to be able to do HTML. Dammit yet anothe life skill I need to acquire.

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

along with spelling and typing

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

My grandmother is the living embodyment of this poem

― turner, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh my God Menelaus, thats beautiful, I could kiss you, you know i really love you, you are my best friend, oh my God, I'm gushing, I'm so overwhelmed with emotion for you, I could kiss you. Lets go make daisy chains. Your hair is so soft and shiny, I love the way it catches the sunlight. Oh my God. Lets hold hands. I love you.

― cheezwhizz, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Did I mention? Oh my God.

― cheezwhizz, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

lets get married

― Menelaus Whizz, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

ewwww are you a lezzo?

― cheezwhizz, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Only when I am wearing my amber-visions...

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh my God of course I'll marry you.

I've always wanted to get married and have babies.

― cheezwhizz, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

M. Darcy, I question your claim to a sober youth. You didn't look very sober that time I saw you after your highschool reunion...though admittedly I'm not going into further detail on this because you've been less drunk than me around my own unsober behaviour MANY more times than the reverse...

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahhh, but you see, that is all part of my master plan. the metamorphosis has begun. I used to be quiet and mild mannered, but now, now I am dodgy. And though I was not wearing a red hat, I did have a purple one with a purple and red and white dress. Sop don't you tell me off young lady.

I think we can all just put those unsober occasions behind us can't we? please?

― Menelaus Darcy, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Sop don't you tell me off young lady.

Mene stop calling me young. I'm at least twice your age.

― elizabeth anne marjorie kane, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This is tryly my mother's poem. In her old age, she wants to turn into Great Auntie Nettie, who gave her filled in colouring books for Christmas and planted lightbulbs in the garden.

― Madchen, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

that is me now! (apart from the butter. i dont buy butter. and i can only have vegan samples in shops. and i don't have a pension but i do have a fondness for brandy and satin sandals)

Jenny Joseph didn't mention the essential ingredient for being a batty old woman though: OWNING AT LEAST 20 CATS. without this factor you are not truly batty, merely eccentric.

― katie, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Please god, I'm only seventeen!

― Kerry, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kerry are you saying you're only 17 years old or that you only have 17 cats?

― Samantha, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

my wayward boyfriend hijacked my identity and posted using my full name...and he lied. And he's done it once before and used incorrect grammar. AND he uses my cute little soft toys to beat me up with, too. (well some of them are actually quite hard for "soft toys").

― elizabeth anne marjorie, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Elizabeth is 17 and has to get her 70 year old boyfriend to buy her alcohol at the supermarket. Menalaus is older than all the people she calls young.

― hamish, Tuesday, 16 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

slander! just you shut your mouth old man. you are a crusty old fart and no amount of denial is going to turn you into a crusty old woman like me.

Or was that Liz in disguise?

dammit I am going to call sips about that soft toy abuse paedophile

― Menelaus Darcy, Wednesday, 17 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am not older than you am I? I dont even qualify for an adult allowance like you, and don't remember when having one big peoples dread was cool...

― Menelaus Darcy, Wednesday, 17 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

dammit I am going to call sips about that soft toy abuse paedophile

The correct term is plushophiliac. And no i am not one. Maybe my older woman will direct you to a website where you can learn more about this exciting field.

Monodreads were never cool.

― hiatus at ihug dot co dot nz, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well there were some comments about you being a crusty seventy year old, so I thought that in this relationship you were a paedophile.

I am well aware of Plushophiliacs, but was not aware that you were getting sexuazl gratification out of handling them, rather than using them as a means to beat your woman.

― Menelaus Darcy, Thursday, 18 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought that in this relationship you were a paedophile.

No that was a typo. i'm actually 7, not 70, and my older woman is the paedophile.

― hamishnoonannnnn, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK then, thats the last time I share any of my smirnoff with you little boy

― Menelaus Darcy, Friday, 19 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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