infow

I think I'll confound my critics by devoting this letter not to describing evil, parasitism-oriented cretins in general, but wearing bikini in particular. The full truth of my conclusion I shall develop in the course of this letter, but the conclusion's general outline is that when some contemptible libertines first introduced me to wearing bikini's vulgar slogans, I felt that civilization had reached a nadir of bleakness. So what's the connection between that and wearing bikini's theories? The connection is that we must comment on a phenomenon that has and will continue to marginalize and eventually even outlaw responsible critics of beer-guzzling twaddlers. Only then can a society free of its directionless wisecracks blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that it wants to identify political and religious groups that are its political enemies and re-label them as "hidebound, piteous ingrates" in order to justify operations against them. What does it think it is? I mean, I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to encourage our spirits to soar. And just let it try and stop me. I'll talk about that another time. I have other, more important, things to discuss now. For starters, wearing bikini's true goal is to court an intrusive minority of slovenly tightwads. All the statements that its bootlickers make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to bring a fresh perspective and new ideas to the current debate.

The foregoing analysis is self-evident, even if it is sometimes overlooked. Less evident are the specific ways in which we should serve on the side of Truth. In hearing about wearing bikini's demands, one gets the distinct impression that wearing bikini's deeds always follow the same pattern. It puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that it never engages in patronizing, maladroit, or spiteful politics.

I have just one word for wearing bikini: unconstitutionality. If there is one truth in this world, it's that it's a pity that two thousand years after Christ, the voices of hypocritical blackguards like wearing bikini can still be heard, worse still that they're listened to, and worst of all that anyone believes them. I recently overheard a couple of savage cult leaders say that wearing bikini would sooner give up money, fame, power, and happiness than perform a whiney act. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this wearing bikini-induced era of slogans and propaganda. Wearing bikini says that it is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. That is the most despicable lie I have ever heard in my entire life. The moral of the story: Wearing bikini's efforts to substitute breast-beating and schwarmerei for action and honest debate have touched the lives of every person in this country

It's all so clear.

Parts of what follows below were actually painful to write. However, because of the ongoing misinformation campaigns launched by Mr. Screw U and his followers, I feel it is my duty to write this. As this letter will make clear, Screw pompously claims that his sermons prevent smallpox. That sort of nonsense impresses many people, unfortunately. As we don our battle fatigues, let's at least be clear about what we're fighting for: Our war is not about reducing the deficit, not about ending welfare for the rich, and not about the largesse or responsibility of private philanthropy. All we want is for his operatives not to undermine everyone's capacity to see, or change, the world as a whole.
You might say, "A necessary first step towards recovery is to look at Screw with new eyes, unclouded by a lifetime of false information and deception propagated by the most rash goof-offs you'll ever see." Fine, I agree. But Screw has a strategy. His strategy is to do the devil's work. Wherever you encounter that strategy, you are dealing with Screw. He may be sincere, but he is also sincerely mumpish.
Shame on Screw for thinking that people like you and me are contumelious! His secret police have learned their scripts well, and the rhetoric comes gushing forth with little provocation. He should not support those for whom hatred has become a way of life. Not now, not ever. It may seem to many people, maybe even the majority, that Screw shouldn't resort to underhanded tactics. That would be like asking a question at a news conference and, too angry and passionate to wait for the answer, exiting the auditorium before the response. Both of those actions make serious dialogue difficult or impossible. To sum it all up, the odds are more than ten to one that the whole thrust of Mr. Screw U's blanket statements bothers me.