112 When saluting a ‘leg’ officer, an appropriate greeting is not "Airborne leads the wa- oh...sorry sir".

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

The 213 Things Skippy is No Longer Allowed to Do in the U.S. Army

These are clearly mostly bullshit, but I am curious: how far can you go in a do-nothing post in nowheresville? If you don't mind Latrine Duty (or whatever you get when you fuck up these days) and aren't seriously considering re-enlisting? Also if you are in fact a specialist of some sort. NB: I suspect the answer is "No far. That's why they call it the army"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 15:20 (twenty-two years ago)

11. Not allowed to join the communist party.

Hmmmmm.

― Enrique (Enrique), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 15:25 (twenty-two years ago)

#31 Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
#32 Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

― Dale the Titled (cprek), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 16:18 (twenty-two years ago)

That is DEFINITELY the Army I was in. Finally.

― Skottie, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I could swear I ran into this guy in language school. All the PSYOPS trainees were bonkers, though. Good times.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

these are awesome!

The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.

Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.

― Kingfish Funyun (Kingfish), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm assuming 'head = army slang for toilet' is in action for the last one.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Can a sock monkey take responsibility, though?

― Allyzay, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Head is Navy/Marine slang. Army people say latrine.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Heh:
124. Two drink limit does not mean first and last.
125. Two drink limit does not mean two kinds of drinks.

I'm pretty sure they swiped that one from the Coasties. ;-)

― lyra (lyra), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, this is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time, I meant to post it today.

"I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test."

"Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same. "

"128. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word."

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, this one is my fave:

Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing "Eat Pork or Die" in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.

― Kingfish Funyun (Kingfish), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 17:45 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.