Me Dum Amerikin want to be skoold on Le Francaize!!

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One of my New Year's resolutions is to attempt to re-teach myself French. (I took French when I was going to this awful prissy Hollywood private West L.A. private school until 4th grade... I've since forgot all of it. Any guesses for the L.A. folks which school I'm talking about? I knew you'd know).

Admittedly, I just want to relearn it on a level that will allow me to not be totally lost if I'm in, say, Quebec -- outside Montreal, or if I ever decide to visit Brussels or Paris. Or, to cut to the case, if I want to pass a Canadian citizenship test. Initially, that is. But I have long term plans to be fluent in it.

Is it worth taking a community college course for it? Or would I be best off just getting a decent audio/book instead for now? I don't mind paying it a bit more for a slightly more in-depth dive into the language, rather than just a cheat-sheet for touristy phrases.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

best thing to do would be go and live in a provincial french city for a while (or say Martinique or Guadeloupe if you don't want to go that far). Failing that one to one or very small group teaching would be best. Check out the Institut Français in your city or one close to you from accredited courses and teachers.

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 18:57 (twenty-two years ago)

if I want to pass a Canadian citizenship test
repeat after me:
Les Cheerios
Les Flacons Glacés du Tigre qui s'appelle Tony.
Le Ketchup
La Poutine

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm SET! Thanks, Horace.

Seriousy though, I hear the French part of those tests are quite difficult.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I didn't know there was a French component for the citizenship test. To work for the Federal Gov't, yes, but I thought you had your choice of official languages if you wanted to be a Canadian.

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

now, repeat after me:

Wham
bang
mon chat "Splash" gite sur mon lit a bouffe
Sa langue en buvant trop mon whysky
Quand a moi peu dormi
vide
brime
J'ai du dormir dans la goutiere
Oil j'ai un flash
ouh
ouh
ouh.
En 4 couleurs
allez op
un matin
Une louloute est v'nue chez moi
Poupee de cellophane
cheveux chinois
Sparadrap
une gueule de bois
A bu ma biere dans un grand verre en caoutchouc
(Ouh
ouh
ouh) comme un indien dans son igloo
Ca plane pour moi
ca plane pour moi
Moi
moi
moi
moi
ca plane pour moi
(Ouh
ouh
ouh) ca plane pour moi
Allez hop
la mama
quel panard
quelle vibration
De s'envoyer sur le paillasson
lime
ruine
vide
comble
You are the king of the divan
qu'elle me dit en passant
(Ouh
Ouh
Quh) I'm the king of the di - van
Ca plane p6ur mai
ca glane gour moi
. . .
Allez hop
t'occupes
t'inquietes
touches pas ma planete
It's not today que le ciel me tombera sur la tete
Et que la colle me manquera
(Ouh
Ouh
Ouh) ca plane pour moi
Ca plane pour moi
ca plane pour moi
. . .
Allez hop
ma nana s'est tiree
s'est barree
Enfin c'est marre
a tout casse
l'evier
le bar
Me laissant seul comme un grand connard
(Ouh
Ouh
Ouh) le pied dans le plat
Ca plane pour moi
ca plane pour moi
. . .

― Kingfish Funyun (Kingfish), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Ça plane pour moi!

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

(was just doing backups on the chorus)

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:02 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHAHA! Thank the good lord for Belgian one hit wonders.

Ed, while surely that would be the best thing for learning French, it's unfortunately not practical for me, financially.

It's not really a big secret that probably within a decade, if not sooner, I want to leave the United States for good (regardless of whether Bush is re-elected or not -- I just sense a slow steady decline in the standard of living, in regards to issues of liberties and finances, in this country within a decade, though anything could happen between now and a few years much less a decade, granted); and I've never had a chance to visit Europe, and I want to experience some parts of it this year, if I get the free time.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Je suis un fop.

(Fake Franglais is my solution to everything.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Any guesses for the L.A. folks which school I'm talking about?

Is it on Overland?

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

if you have a background, then some solid exposure to the language should revive what's lurking in dark corners of your mind.
Seriously, the best way to pick up a language is to immerse yrself in it. I'm sure there's a Frenchy Neighbourhood Centre or something not too far from you where old dudes play petanque (lawn bowling) and laugh heartily.
Spend an afternoon a month there or something.

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Many people don't know that the nearest parts of europe to the US are the Frech Islands of Martinique and Guadeloupe, French Guinea and the weird french dutch hybrid of St Martin/Maarten (kind of like belgium with white sandy beaches I guess)

― Ed (dali), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:10 (twenty-two years ago)

(x-post to dean)

VERY MUCH SO on Overland... although the one I went to was the miniature campus in Pacific Palisades..(which still exists! and looks hardly different, which made me shudder of memories of past when I walked by it on my T-day holiday in L.A.)

(heh heh, can we say "grade fixing"? Is the school still run by the K*bb*z clan?)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:12 (twenty-two years ago)

db, was your campus on deadman's curve?

― gygax! (gygax!), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:13 (twenty-two years ago)

WOW so you went there, hmm. Maybe we can photoshop your head into a nice little blue jacket. We may have to photoshop a smug look on your face too.

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha! Oh DB has already had quite a bit of fun with those images from his past...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Huck, I'm sure that will be the case. I don't remember conjugation rules that well, or even some basic words that aren't food items, but at least, I remember some basic pronunciation rules... (enough to know that "oi" is like English "wah", and "c'est" is "seh")

Unfortunately, Seattle isn't really known for it's mini-European villages.. the closest thing is the rusty Scandinavian Ballard neighborhood, and that's hardly a place you can immerse yourself and learn Scandinavian culture really... (though you sure will see a lot of deserted warehouses, rubble piles, taverns, and pissed off sailor types behind all Les Restaurantes De Gentrification).. even though we get a lot of imported products from Canada in our supermarkets, so that's the only regular exposure to French I get.. though my Kleenex purchases or what not.

My visits to B.C. has been the closest thing I've gotten any level of exposure to French, and that's just on a level of looking at stuff to buy in markets.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

watch lots of pepe le peu cartoons, it'll all come back.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

gyg, Dead Man's Curve is well away from where I went to school, though I used to go past it every day. That's near-Brentwood Pacific Palisades though.. the really curvy nauseous part of Sunset Blvd., near Will Rogers State Park, I think.

Dean, I have a good collection of yearbooks from my days at Le Lyc** D* Fr**c**s... They figured heavily into that 1978 CDR Go! compilation cover art, actually (for those who have it). Again, I left the school in 4th grade because my grandmother was pissed off that my main teacher that year was a *gasp* communist and was verbally insulting my grandmother and me during class for me saying that "my grandmother thinks communism is bad". Not to mention that the teaching was pure suckage, and the tuition was really high. I got a "0/100" on time on a spelling test for spelling the word "stopping" as "stopping" rather than the 'correct' way, which was "stoping". (A big stink was raised about that, and my score was changed appropriately)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I was in French Immersion to the 8th Grade, but I was a terrible student. When I took regular high school French, I knew next to none of the rules, but could speak it fine. Just like English.
Similarly, when I lived in Quebec, one person told me that I barely had an accent after several months. I think they were just trying to butter me up, because some people think I have an accent when I speak English.
Vancouver has lots of little "expat" communities/associations, and it wouldn't surprise me if there were one or two in Seattle. You might have to do a bit of leg work though. Maybe ask the Open Door Society?

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I'll do some investigating, though. It wouldn't hurt. Thank you, Huckace.. (or would you prefer Horadelia?)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I thought for a moment you called me huckface, like fuckface, but a pun. I was briefly incensed.

― Huckface? (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, has anyone here BECOME a Canadian? Again, I've only heard that the French part of the citizenship test is not trivial. I do have many Vancouver-to-Seattle-to-Vancouver-to-wherever-excelsior-and-back-to-Seattle friends here, so it's best I ask them.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

The Overland campus looks nice, if not cramped and out of place. Some of those kids are dicks, but then again, most kids are, so I can't complain.

― dean! (deangulberry), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:30 (twenty-two years ago)

It's sad because, if the same bullshit that was happening decades ago, is still happening, most of those kids at that school who graduate will end up at UCLA or equivalent and just get education shock (as in, holy shit, I'm not qualified to be a student here even though all the "A"'s on my "report cards" here made it easy for me to get in... stupid-ass SAT test notwithstanding)

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-two years ago)

http://canadainternational.gc.ca/Main_Menu-en.asp

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:35 (twenty-two years ago)

here's the immigration board website:

http://www.cisr.gc.ca/en/INDEX_E.htm

Welcome to the Web site of the Immigration and
Refugee Board (IRB).

The IRB is Canada's largest independent administrative tribunal.

that is not a good thing.

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's that page for the language requirements. This is the hard part, even if I declare English as my primary language.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

here's what it takes to be inadmissable as a Cdn immigrant:

http://laws.justice.gc.ca/en/I-2.5/63408.html#rid-63508

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:39 (twenty-two years ago)

just write on the form that you speak both official languages as well as or better than former Prime Minister Jean Chretien.

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Likewise, huck, if you want easy access to the U.S., just state that you only use BLUNT weapons -- that is, when ammunition isn't involved -- and you can say "I'd like some ribs" in a variety of moods and contexts.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey there, Stretch.

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

One other tip: don't make your facial hair too crazy. you don't want to "look too Islamic", remember.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

also, don't give your occupation as "rapper"
(never happened to me, but a rapper I've spoken with says that he often says he's a garbage man. he might have just been telling a good story though.)

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm supposed to be going to bed now but I have found a GREBT way to improve my French and I want to share it with you Brian!!

It may not work for total beginners (although I bet you'll be surprised at what comes back) so maybe you should do some more basic stuff first, but try this.

If you have a DVD player, rent a French movie (there are several) and turn on the French subtitles. VOILA!!! It helps if you've already seen it before but it still kind of works even if you haven't. I can't remember who told me about this trick, it may have even been someone on this board.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 02:59 (twenty-two years ago)

A French Canadian one told me he could each me 1000 words in the language with one simple rule. All Anglicized words ending in T.I.O.N. are pronounced the same with "see-on" instead of "shun".
like action, direction, Connection... You get the idea.
Maybe he was pullin' my leg though. It's too bad America isn't like Europe. We just know English. Good language, but waddayasay when you meet someone different?

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

WTF!!! You are L*cee people????? I can't belive this!!! I spent all my teenage years on the Overland campus!

― Baaderist (Fabfunk), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

oh
my
god

i'm so sorry

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 09:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, got a bit overexcited there...
Cogito Ergo Sum.. Yep, Mrs. K*bb*z is still running the show, taking over the legacy of the great Raymond (RIP). She actually wrote her memoirs, which are def. worth checking out.
I'll be having my 10 years reunion there this summer, so I'm gonna dig up those blue blazers for the occasion...

― Baaderist (Fabfunk), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 09:35 (twenty-two years ago)

comment?
j'ai pas compris.
pouvez-vous repeter?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

and eventually...

pardon, je parle pas bien francais, desole

― amateur!st (amateurist), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Let's hear it for the Lycee crew... The campus always sucked and though I also spent all my teenage years there and made some good friends (hmm, merveilleuses amities), I can't say I ever liked this mofo campus, its rotten classrooms, its non-working heaters or ACs, the rats frolicking in the bushes or anything else... This being said, I sure miss those wonder years.

― Barton Fink (bartonf), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

You people are all scaring me. Hearing about this place from DB was unsettling enough.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, it was great.. Although, I can't vouch for the Pacific Palisades cru.

― Baaderist (Fabfunk), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, I have my stories and my yearbooks. The yearbooks alone made these distant memories of hell worth it in a weird way.

In fact, I still have select photos from my 1978 yearbook up online...

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/yearbook/jodi.jpg
http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/yearbook/coke.jpg
http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/yearbook/fuller.jpg
http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/yearbook/zizi.jpg

That last one still makes me crack up in the most juvenile way, and I don't have to explain why.

Otherwise, I totally agree with you, Baaderist, except I'd hesitate to use the words "fun" and "great". I had a better time at Pilgrim Lutheran Elementary in Santa Monica, then St. Paul of Apostles in West L.A. later on, if that says anything.

And Tracer, many thanks for the tip. Thing is: I don't have a DVD player yet. But once I do, I'll pay attention to releases that have French subtitling, certainly.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 18:28 (twenty-two years ago)

And I have my grandparents to thank for all of this.. who were the biggest proponents of the notorious California Prop 13 as well, and who defended it by saying "Well, at least we can now afford to send you to private school, now that we don't have to pay those ridiculous property taxes.".

All of you California parents with kids in public schools can thanks my grandparents too... they'd appreciate it.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

That isn't you with the curly locks, is it, DB?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

You wish. But no, that's actually the daughter of the K*bb*z's.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

(and you do know who the other person in that photo is, right?)

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 20:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Yes.

― John Hinkley Robotico (Nicole), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

You have to admit, Miss Curly kinda shares some facial features with you.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

excusez-moi de vous derangez, mais pouvez-vous me dit que...

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

je suis perdue (worked great for me in the Paris subway)
ou est .....
comment-on .......
il revien dans ... minutes

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Coke looks exactly like Garth from Wayne's World!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Mr. Coke looks exactly like Garth from Wayne's World!

You have to admit, Miss Curly kinda shares some facial features with you.

― donut bitch (donut), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Look at that picture of you that's been so photoshopped recently, and look at Miss Curly. If someone would photoshop you in Jodie's place you'd see.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 5 February 2004 04:44 (twenty-two years ago)

The closest thing I look like in the above pics is Zizi's gigantic

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:22 (twenty-two years ago)

ego

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:23 (twenty-two years ago)

yes

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Rah

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT... THE WOMAN AT THE BOTTOM. ZIZI.. HER GIGANTIC THING

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:24 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we were just disappointed at the lack of suggestive ellipsis.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:25 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean talk about diving in head first.. jesus

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:26 (twenty-two years ago)

(DB, I knew to what you referred, but you're so cute when you're angry.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Am I as cute and girly as the girl above which Casuistry is under the grand delusion that I somehow resemble?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:32 (twenty-two years ago)

No, not in that way. Casuistry's madness is his own. (But you can make him mad by suggesting the words "Droopy Dog" to him in turn.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:34 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.kuci.org/~brianm/ile/randwebcampic.jpg

fine. taken just now. for y'all photoshop fiends. i dare you.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:36 (twenty-two years ago)

(i'm stepping back.. ned just dropped the bomb and is going to get saddamed by casuistry really soon)

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Really, it was only because he was so tired and weary the first time I met him!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 05:56 (twenty-two years ago)

That's no reason to take advantage, you pervertalist.

― El Diablo Robotico (Nicole), Thursday, 5 February 2004 06:14 (twenty-two years ago)

SHOCKING

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 5 February 2004 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't have any idea what anyone is talking about. Let's try it again, from the top, in French.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 5 February 2004 08:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Yo, curly = Clara-Lisa, fools!

― Baaderist (Fabfunk), Thursday, 5 February 2004 08:19 (twenty-two years ago)

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