Missing your ex for no apparent reason at all C/D?

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

It happens at the strangest times...

― the angry cowboy (dick), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm gonna go with half-classic, half-dud. who's with me?

― the angry cowboy (dick), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

awwww...

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

ambivalent nostalgia=classic!

― Huckadelia (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic cuz it's a feeling. Dud cuz it's annoying and inexplicable.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuckin' DUD, man. What the hey?!!!

― Stray Cat Frank (Francis Watlington), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Cowboy, are you with somebody right now? or single? if latter, then duh! it's winter, and if you're in the northern hemisphere, you want a warm body to snuggle against right now. totally normal.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

[15:44:52] XXXX: i can scream 'out vile jelly!' and everything
[15:44:55] XXXX: it'll be great

She was just talking about ripping out my eyes though....

― Jon Williams (ex machina), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

nope, not really with anyone. just pining a little, i guess. and you're probably right...it's any icy hellhole out there, and i guess i am a little lonely.

― the angry cowboy (dick), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:06 (twenty-two years ago)

nickalicious = otm. word.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I'm going to have a good long miss over mine tonight.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Not saying the feeling isn't a dud, but it is explicable, usually.

― donut bitch (donut), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:11 (twenty-two years ago)

DUD! And it happens fairly often... You only remember the good, not all the shit that prefaced the break-up.

Humans are morose creatures... I think Tennesse Williams said that all we really have it the past... the present is a wink you can't appreciate, and the future is unknown. Therefore we mope around in the past, running our tongues over and over in the spot where a tooth used to be.

― andy, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:22 (twenty-two years ago)

classic, and yet DUD, depending on how much of your music he/she ruined ("he loved power pop, too...*sob*")

"We may be through with the past, but the past ain't through with us"- Quiz Kid Donnie Smith, "Magnolia"

― Donna Brown (Donna Brown), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I do it all the time, it stinks. The time I spent with my ex was among the happiest in my life. The fact that it's been going on 3 years since we broke up is a bit pathetic, though. It's Dud, but it's natural at the same time.

― Sean (Sean), Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

It especially sucks when said ex has effectively moved on, has a new beau, and is creating new "Remember whens...?" while you're still stuck on the old ones...

― andy, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 21:56 (twenty-two years ago)

argh. you guys are making it worse for me. I hate pining.

― Shep, Tuesday, 3 February 2004 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic Dud. The worst is waking from a dream when she's in it. And it was a very good dream. What's that all about?

― jim wentworth (wench), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 03:18 (twenty-two years ago)

in my experience there is no "no apparent reason"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Strongo OTM.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 03:28 (twenty-two years ago)

it does happen at the strangest times, though. Please don't ever ask me to watch Super Troopers ever. Ever.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

cowboy, i just miss certain *parts* of my exes. perhaps that is happening to you. usually other people have the same parts. you can hang with other people.

― blah, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 04:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Exes are exes for reasons.

― Pinche Pendejo (Pinche Pendejo), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

doing anything about the missing c/d?

calling/txting to say hi? and then realise that it's still possible to be friends? classic.

calling/txting to say hi? and then be devestated when the other person doesn't really care enough to really keep in touch anymore and realising the whole thing actually meant about as much as a song by travis? dudsville.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

(this thread would be a great place to pick up lonely ILXors)

― Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Just cos bonds aren't strong after the effect does NOT mean it didn't mean anything at the time. "You don't love me anymore = you NEVER loved me" is WRONG and SELFISH.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Generally, I don't miss Exes, once the breakup is over. Like someone said upthread, exes are exes for a very good reason. I don't stay in touch, at all.

OK, though I had a really weird experience over the weekend in NYC. I got together with the "Great Lost Love Of My Life" and that is strange. We are "still friends" - just about the only case. But it's more this sort of sense of "what if?" rather than nostalgia. It's easy to build someone up in your mind into this great lost "Thing". But then, every time we've hung out over the past ... I don't know how many years it's been! nearly a decade! ... it's been this weird mixture of understanding *why* it never really took of the ground, and being grateful that we didn't even really try so that we can still be friends, yet mixed with this weird feeling of "Ohmigod, but you're PERFECT!!! You're so WONDERFUL!!!"

I suppose, in the end, having this perfect ideal is a good thing, because the actual *him* can never live up to the image I have of him in my mind, it's better to keep it as a fantasy thing.

I can't really explain... sheesh. But yeah.

― the river fleet, Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Just cos bonds aren't strong after the effect does NOT mean it didn't mean anything at the time. "You don't love me anymore = you NEVER loved me" is WRONG and SELFISH.

what does it mean, then?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:37 (twenty-two years ago)

You sucked in bed!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:38 (twenty-two years ago)

now i know who's subscribed me to all those penis enlargement emails.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 15:59 (twenty-two years ago)

although, come to think of it just now i really can't see how sucking in bed has to do with keeping in touch. so people only really get back in touch after a relationship if they want to shag each other?

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know about no reason at all. i'm missing ex for all our private jokes and silly behaviour mainly. i would say this is duddish but i am too busy smiling at the memories.

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe it's the friendship you are missing then.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ken, what I'm saying is that feelings can and do change - it's the way it is, as simple as that. To try and undermine a past relationship by claiming it meant nothing at the time, simply because the two parties (or maybe only one of the two parties) no longer has those same feelings as they did initially is a; insinuating that the party who no longer feels that way is and always was an emotional liar, and b; is a guilt fulcrum to try and win someone back - "if you really loved me then you'd still love me now". I'm sorry but love can and does die, however sad that may be. You can love someone absolutely madly but if it goes, it goes. Nothing is immutable.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

nah we're still friends sarah, but it's not the same without the intimacy (not sex)

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I fully agree with the idea that feelings can and do change, and it's understandable, and that's a big reason why relationships don't always last forever. But surely, "you don't love me anymore" is not the same as "i do not wish to have anything to do with you whatsoever anymore".

There are surely more levels to human interaction and relationship than whether there is love?

I'm probably not phrasing myself terribly well, as I'm prone to when talking about emotional matters, but, it just puzzles me how people in love can suddenly turn to hatred, or (worse) utter indifference, when surely people LIKE each other before they fall in LOVE?

I guess I'm just being naive.

― ken c (ken c), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

That's what i meant really friendship/intimacy/closeness, all of the stuff that goes with a s/o.
x-post

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:51 (twenty-two years ago)

The dynamics of relationships can mean that antipathy or 'hatred' are easier to deal with than mere affection. From both sides.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 February 2004 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.