Stopping being depressed

I wouldn't worry about 'wasted youth'. That feeling passes. These are feelings and not reality - they can pass. The idea that they are fixed is very seductive.

Just do something - exercise, create something.

When I was having trouble sleeping, Effexor helped & it helped me quit smoking, too.

Ask yourself what it is that you want out of life, NOT what you think you want based on what society in general seems to suggest is right.

Consider this: Contentment as an objective in life rather than actual happiness. We all want to be happy but suffering is part of life too and should be accepted. What you should perhaps do is look at how you can restore the balance. Identify what it is that makes you feel content and work towards achieving that (this usually involves forming ambitions and then realising them, obviously this can take a long time but it will give you something to look forward, perhaps even to rebuild your entire life around. be realistic but continue to dream at the same time).

Caring is good but don't waste time regretting the things you cannot change. Like I said there's no script to your life, it's all improv. There's no reason why you can't turn it all around, no matter how long that might take. Identify right now what is the biggest obstacle that prevents you from being content, then identify the ways in which that obstacle can be removed. Break it all down right into manageable pieces. I recommend doing this via writing it all down for yourself. This allows you to get the thoughts out of your head and into a tangible physical form (accept you have the thoughts before you can deal with them and be rid of them)...

Good experiences or bad experiences constitute life, it's having no experiences at all that is the bigger waste. Figure out what it is you have learnt and what it could mean. If you're not sure then learn as much as you can about the causes of this condition, understand why you feel the way you do, the causes but more importantly the solutions (every cause has an effect, every effect has a solution).

If nothing else, remember it's often just nothing but chemistry and psychology making you feel this way. The only reasons for being miserable on rainy day are entirely manufactured for (perhaps basic but hopefully not patronising) example.

from my experience medication helps me cope. Without my depressions mean I can't get of bed. I can't feed or clean myself or take care of my cats. fuck work and bills. medicine helps it from getting this bad.

they won't make you 'feel good'. they'll just help you from getting so low and allow to address problems in yr life rationally. and figure out to solve them.

i've never experienced a flat feeling from them. they do make me revved, jumpy etc though and i have to take other pills to counteract that but it's worth it.

If it were that simple - just DO something - then anybody could beat depression by taking a knitting class...

(few xposts)

Layna makes a good point... If you go see a doctor (which is not a bad idea at all) and are prescribed meds for your condition, the meds will help you start to feel less hopeless in general, but they won't necessarily MAKE you start acting differently. Counseling is like another medicine... It can help you come to terms with feelings of having wasted part of your life or feelings of having had part of your life taken from you by depression.

Nobody's depression is exactly the same as anyone else's, so your best bet is to find a doctor and let a professional assess your specific case. It may be that prozac or wellbutrin gives you the lift you need to get on with your life. It may be that therapy alone will help. It may be that you need both. In any case, depression is certainly treatable.

The cost of meds is different depending what medication you take. I know there are generic versions of prozac and wellbutrin, which are two of the most common anti-depressants.

I take wellbutrin along with other medications for bipolar disorder. The difference between me w/o wellbutrin and me w/ wellbutrin is that I have energy during the day to get through things or to do things that might otherwise seem too big or too challenging to take on. It doesn't exactly make me feel happy... it just keeps me from feeling tired or unmotivated all of the time. It's subtle, but it's definitely noticable.

and yeah yr worries about acting when not depressed is valid. sometimes i have a hard time functioning when not in 'crisis mode'. but yeah talk therapy can be good there.

(modern ADs are very expensive. usually btw $200-$300 per month i think. despite what martin says i don't there is a generic wellbutrin. there is of paxil now though, i think.)

i take wellbutrin and effexor now but have also taken zoloft, paxil, remeron and trazadone. zoloft was most effective at treating the depression.

oh yeah, time to take one of mine again.

The first step in getting better is the hardest in my experience, and if you're already asking questions then you're already part of the way there.

(xpost)

There is a generic wellbutrin, but it's pretty recent. I do know it's out there though because I have taken it. ;)

sorry i don't know any answers to yr questions

Erm, yes, with certain qualifications.

SSRIs (Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors) like Prozac affect your brain chemistry in some very fundamental ways, but the basic change is they increase available seratonin. If your depression is based in the subpar chemical performance of your brain, then taking some of the right tablets could indeed make you feel much 'better', in the sense of getting your brain to function properly.

What Layna said about a wet, cold, dark rug being removed from on top of her brain - that's what a lot of people say afterward. For other folks they don't do much good, since their depression is not so much chemical as circumstantial. There are screening questionaires to help you and your doctor decide if you are a good candidate for the drugs. Too many doctors are lazy in their diagnosis of depression, though, and just toss you some pills and say goodbye.

Which ones are the best?

The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Each one is a bit different formula (or they couldn't patent them), so each one could affect you differently. Bad reactions are possible. (You really need to have a doctor involved when you mess with your brain chemistry this way.) You might need to try more than one to get the desired effect.

It sounds like you really should do something. Ten years is a long time to do nohing. Good luck.

Ha! This is the thing: no, I don't eat well. I get to bed on time, because I have nothing to get up for. I sleep well because I'll usually have had a drink (I'm probably an alcoholic). But I find it hard to get up.

But I was depressed when I ate well, and, before I lost my job, when I had something to get up for. I was depressed before I started drinking heavily.

(xp's)
So it's difficult to know what order to do things. I could eat better, to feel better, or stop drinking, try to find another job. I haven't so far been able to do these things. So I'm thinking now of the root cause.

The dosage varies, probably usually between 200-400 mg.

Just thought I'd give a figure on the generic cost of one anti-d.

Go to your Doctor and see what he says.. If he seems unsympathetic / uninterested and unwilling to help, Go find another Doctor!

Sad to say, but there still is a doctor 'lottery' as to the attitudes towards depression - Finding a sympathetic Doctor is the most important first step..

This has been my experience anyway.

Though I suppose that as hit or miss as it is with personal chemistry, it probably isn't any less reasonable...

You'd be surprised at how just practicing at daily routines can help.

Please don't insult me, you don't know anything about me.

You sense (probably correctly) that you have a lot to be sad about, to grieve over, in your past and you're also aware that you've been too depressed to grieve, so your unmet grief has been piling up. When you imagine you could start feeling things again, what you see is a whole lot of grief to be felt. You fear it.

Quite reasonably, you are reluctant to embrace that scenario. No one in their right mind invites grief on themselves, right? Well... yes, that's true. But in this case, you're kind of stuck. Not doing anything differently will only continue to raise the stakes higher and higher, piling up more unmet feelings, so clearly that isn't a very good solution, since it doesn't actually solve the problem, but only continues to defer it, with worse and worse consequences.

So how do you get round this kind of problem?

You won't like this answer. The way isn't around, but through. Instead of adding to the pile of your grief, by doing nothing, you need to grab a shovel and start working away to clear it out of your path.

Here is some good news. However bad an emotion feels, it's an emotion. Racking your body with sobs doesn't do any physical harm. Actually, it's more healthy than not. It just feels like hell. If you start feeling again and find you feel like howling with grief, then when you're done howling and you look up and around at your life, it will probably look better than it does now. It's the unfelt feelings that will kill you.

More good news. Nobody says you must do this alone. You shouldn't try. You should find help. The way to find it is to ask for it. Asking for help is generally hard. It is like saying "Ack! There's something wrong with me and I am helpless!" Fuck that noise. Everyone needs help to get through this bitch we call life. Get help. That is what counseling is for. And friends. And family. And kind strangers. Take a little now. Give a little later. It all evens out.

If you ever do feel like hanging yourself, you'll want, no, need someone to talk to.

Another bit of good news is once you start to move, you can start to steer again. When you finally start feeling things again, it isn't all bad news, all grief. You discover that you can feel other things, too. Interest, love, ambition, hope. It's a package deal. You can't refuse one feeling without losing them all. You can't pick and choose. But you can get them all back, the good with the bad. And you'll discover it's much better with them all than without any at all.

So, you see, it isn't as bad as you fear. And even if it looks overwhelming at the moment, you can only ever get there one step at a time anyway. That's part of the limits we live with. I recently walked 210 miles in 22 days. Cliche or not, all I did was put one foot in front of the other and eventually I was 210 miles away from where I started.

Once again, good luck.

Don't take medication without having a counsellor lined up. Some people do the suicide thing when they start taking pills because suddenly they have enough motivation to find a rope and a chair and all those things that seemed like too much effort.

In all the times I've been very bummed out, I've never taken it past my friends (some of whom were very supportive) to counselling, which I was sorta scared to do as it felt like undermining my odd sense of self-reliance/'man-essence', or anti-depressants (partly because of conversations involving what goes on your record for employment etc).

Really, I'm just blaming brain chemistry since I do the "OK" thing most often but then I look at Kingfish's post and think the only difference between us there is that I did nothing about it. And then there's that maudlin post I made on the "Why are you unhappy?" thread once...

Great thread; plenty of thoughtful, informed, articulate and compassionate responses.

My own two million cents, since I've been going through 6+ years of relentless self-induced emotional hell

1. Seriously, can you just take some tablets and feel better?

I really never gave antidepressants a fair shake since I was boozing the whole time anyway.. One thing I'm always told by doctors, is that you cannot drink alcohol while on antidepressants. It will dilute the effects of the AD significantly, if not eliminate then completely. And if you do decide to drink, be DAMN careful, I had passed out a few times while on Effexor and 3+ drinks.

So when I phased into Zoloft, the number of "bad days" dropped significantly (in retrospect) but I was still generally negative about all aspects of life, nor could I get excited about any kind of self-progress.

So my insurance ran out and I tapered off my Zoloft (3rd AD drug I've tried). Happened to coincide with getting laid off, so it's been just fucking awful, to put it mildly.

I know three or so folks who attest to the success of certain anti-depressants (they wake up in the morning and feel "not bad" or "good", which sounds miraculous and wonderful to me).
As mentioned above, major depression cannot be cured by drugs alone, but the HMO therapists I've gone to have been useless (everyone says you have to try like 10 of 'em to find a good match.

2. What happens if you stop being depressed? I mean, how do you feel different? Do you manage to function, and if so is it a terrible effort still but you can do it, or is it not much effort at all? Just what does it feel like etc?

I don't know what this feels like, but I picture it being like the blanket analogy given above.. One still understands the unplesantness of difficult situations or obligations, but at the same time one is no longer having internal monologues telling them how incapable they are, or the presumed insurmountability of what should be relatively modest tasks. This is what my sane friends must mean when they say "just do it" or "get over it". They never had that god forsaken blanket over 'em in the first place.

3. Also, this is the most important question. Right now I have very little in the way of emotions etc, and were I suddenly to find myself with some via medication or whatever I think my first reaction would be to hang myself. As I said, my life is in a terrible state but it is tolerable in a sense because I don't care about anything that much. But, if I suddenly started to care about things, the extent to which I've ruined my life and wasted my youth etc would be too much to take, I'm sure. So how do you get round this kind of problem?

Sounds more like what would happen if you took LSD or something. There is a risk that users experience "suicidal thoughts" when first starting out with certain ADs.. but it's very rare (from what they say.) ..but in my situation, I am being constantly ambushed by negative emotions (as opposed to not feeling much emotion) so, again, talk to your psychiatrist. they seem to know their shit.

r u eating well?
THIS is super important, I'm sure, although I have yet to try it out. Yah, exercise, too (still working on it)

Most people I know don't wander through life feeling 'good'. they're generally just 'OK' if they even stop to consider it.
I can't determine the tone of this statement, but I think I can speak for sufferers everywhere when I say that feeling "just OK" would be REALLY REALLY AWESOME, unless your definition of "OK" is on the verge of punching a meat slicer