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― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'd buy that for a dollar.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pin and mount me like a butterflyyyyyy."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Dude, that's not even a mole, that's a fuckin' marmot or something.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a BEAVER. That's the "joke".

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Its tail looks too fluffy to be a beaver.

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 February 2004 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

That ebaynham thing that keeps running those THE FUNNIEST T-SHIRTS ON THE INTERNET adverts on the Onion seems to have a bit of a weak grasp of the word 'funny'

― ferg (Ferg), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

"Pound me like a fuckin' marmot" would be good.

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

And hey - that picture isn't even a beaver! They don't have furry tails, so the shirt might have been alright to begin with.

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Well here's one without a hard-to-identify rodent of some kind:

http://flipthebird.com/product_images/010776PATSc.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:34 (twenty-one years ago)

That one needs to be qualified on the back with "(or just pound me like a fuckin' marmot)" and then it's A-OK.

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:39 (twenty-one years ago)

ihttps://www.astrology-online.com/giftshop/schizowhite.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:44 (twenty-one years ago)

This shirt is from an astrology site that sells funny t-shirts on the side for some reason:

http://www.astology-online.com/giftshop/schizowhite.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:46 (twenty-one years ago)

Never mind that one, can't get it to work. This one's pretty stupid:

http://www.shirtfreaks.com/0030/images/big.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/Tested-Positive-for-Grumpin.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/Sit-on-happy-face-2.5-tall.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/raisin-2.5-wide.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 18:59 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/forgive-me-father-2.5wide.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:01 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/forgive-me-father-2.5-wide.gif

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Can anyone else find some t-shirt designs that are actually worse than these?

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Apologies to Aja - I'm usually pretty good at reading threads before I post anything, but somehow I totally missed your first noticing the first image wasn't a beaver.

"Everything Happens for a Raisin" is really funny! I love puns where one reading doesn't make sense, and where the pun is probably the only reason that the sentence went to print.

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:17 (twenty-one years ago)

It's alright jazz. I was going to say something to you but decided not to.

Any way, heres another shirt

http://www.damagewear.com/images/gothic_tee-shirts/stupid_tee_shirt_bgwh.jpg

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:18 (twenty-one years ago)

"Have you ever wondered where these particular types of unfunny T-shirts come from? the ones that say things like "WARNING: I GO FROM 0 TO HORNEY IN 2.5 BEERS" or "Impeach President Clinton ... AND HER HUSBAND TOO!!"? Mystery solved. They come from State Fair Expos. Right here on the main floor's a monster-sized booth, more like an open bodega, with shirts and laminated buttons and license-plate borders, all of which, for this subphylum, Testify. This booth seems integral, somehow. The seamiest fold of the Midwestern underbelly. The Lascaux Caves of a certain rural mentality. "40 Isn't Old ... IF YOU'RE A TREE" and "The More Hair I Lose, The More Head I Get" and "Retired: No Worries, No Paycheck" and "I Fight Poverty ... I WORK!!" As with New Yorker cartoons, there's an elusive sameness about the shirts' messages. A lot serve to I.D. the wearer as part of a certain group and then congratulate that group for its sexual dynamism -- "Coon Hunters Do It All Night" and "Hairdressers Tease It Till It Stands Up" and "Save a Horse: Ride a Cowboy." Some presume a weird kind of aggressive relation between the shirt's wearer and its reader -- "We'd Get Along Better ... If You Were a BEER" and "Lead Me Not Into Temptation, I Know the Way MYSELF" and "What Part of NO Don't You Understand?" There's something complex and compelling about the fact that these messages are not just uttered but worn, like they're a badge or credential. The message compliments the wearer somehow, and the wearer in turn endorses the message by spreading it across his chest, which fact is then in further turn supposed to endorse the wearer as a person of plucky or risque wit. It's also meant to cast the wearer as an Individual, the sort of person who not only makes but wears a Personal Statement. What's depressing is that the T-shirts' statements are not only preprinted and mass-produced, but so dumbly unfunny that they serve to place the wearer squarely in that large and unfortunate group of people who think such messages not only Individual but funny. It all gets tremendously complex and depressing. The lady running the booth's register is dressed like a '68 Yippie but has a hard carny face and wants to know why I'm standing here memorizing T-shirts. All I can manage to tell her is that the "HORNEY" on these "2.5 BEERS"-shirts is misspelled; and now I really feel like an East-Coast snob, laying judgments and semiotic theories on these people who ask of life only a Republican in the White House and a black velvet Elvis on the wood-grain mantel of their mobile home. They're not hurting anybody. A good third of the people I went to high school with now probably wear these T-shirts, and proudly."

-- David Foster Wallace, "Getting Away From Already Being Pretty Much Away From It All"

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:24 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.stupidconservatives.com/newjesus1.jpg

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:26 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/revolver.jpg

― o. nate (onate), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

T-shirts and more t-shirts!

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 February 2004 19:32 (twenty-one years ago)

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/4/939724_F_tn.jpg

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/Colon-Bowel-2.5-tall.gif

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:07 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.humoroust-shirts.com/ifyoudontlikehowidrive4wide.jpg

― Aja (aja), Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:10 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/ClamIAm.gif

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:13 (twenty-one years ago)

All I can manage to tell her is that the "HORNEY" on these "2.5 BEERS"-shirts is misspelled; and now I really feel like an East-Coast snob, laying judgments and semiotic theories on these people who ask of life only a Republican in the White House and a black velvet Elvis on the wood-grain mantel of their mobile home.

for fucks sake this is like someone gave lord custos a book deal!! they shd get david foster wallace to post to ile, hed fit right in w all of him and tad's smug easily-amused hatred of the poor

― $$, Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:17 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/honeyBakedHamster.gif

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I bought a tshirt that says SHUT UP YOU STUPID BITCH on it, but I lack the cajones to wear it in public.

― bill stevens (bscrubbins), Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:25 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.funnydesigns.com/yousaidyouweredivorced-2.gif

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:26 (twenty-one years ago)

My mom bought me a shirt last xmas with a big spoon on it that said "Ceareal Killer." I wear it to sleep sometimes.

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:30 (twenty-one years ago)

ceareal?

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:38 (twenty-one years ago)

"Clam, I Am"? WTF?

― webcrack (music=crack), Saturday, 7 February 2004 20:43 (twenty-one years ago)

roger adultery, I got a shirt from mum with f***ing Nietschze quotes all over it. Like I was a John Lennon type with glasses, ponytail and long sideburns doing a course at Guildford Polytechnic or something. I also wear it to bed.

― the music mole (colin s barrow), Saturday, 7 February 2004 21:32 (twenty-one years ago)

From tshirthell.com:
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a102/a102.gif
0W|\|z!!!11

― Prude (Prude), Saturday, 7 February 2004 21:50 (twenty-one years ago)

they shd get david foster wallace to post to ile, hed fit right in w all of him and tad's smug easily-amused hatred of the poor

Just cuz someone's poor doesn't give them license to act like an unfunny, aggressive or unoriginal git, though. I hate shit like these "hilarious" tees no matter who'd wear them (and where I'm at yr probably just as likely to see one on an overweight upper middle class middle manager on his holidays at the Gold Coast, bad tan and all).

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:25 (twenty-one years ago)

worst shirts ever: BELIEVE

― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:31 (twenty-one years ago)

Maybe I'm in the wrong thread...

http://tshirts-sweatshirts.com/Shirt_Transfers/Southern/A6287G-lg-b.jpg

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 8 February 2004 01:55 (twenty-one years ago)

http://i7.ebayimg.com/01/i/01/3f/99/4a_1.JPG

― may pang (maypang), Sunday, 8 February 2004 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

there's a fellow in one of my classes who wears a shirt that says "sorry girls, i only date models."

he also had one on that said "AIRFORCE: when it absolutely positively has to be destroyed overnight" but i'm not sure if that counts because i think it's actually put out by the military.

― j c (j c), Sunday, 8 February 2004 02:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh, it counts.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Sunday, 8 February 2004 02:10 (twenty-one years ago)

My favourite is the one Tommy Chong wears in one of his movies: "Smile if you're horny".

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 8 February 2004 04:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen this one on a certain former college campus of mine long long ago:

Nietschze: "God is dead"

God: "Nietschze is dead"

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 8 February 2004 04:31 (twenty-one years ago)

She Who Dies Happiest Is She Who Dies With The Most Shoes

― donut bitch (donut), Sunday, 8 February 2004 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3271742572&category=1449

I hate this tshirt so much it makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

― ipsofacto (ipsofacto), Sunday, 8 February 2004 04:34 (twenty-one years ago)

http://members.aol.com/BigDumbCow/witness.jpg

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 8 February 2004 04:37 (twenty-one years ago)

The dishwasher where I am working wears one this one every Monday.
'The word of the day is "Legs"
Spread the Word.'
He's chubby and it is cut off at the midriff. His english is very bad and all the waitresses hate the shirt but he doesn't understand why.

― Speedy Gonzalas (Speedy Gonzalas), Sunday, 8 February 2004 06:34 (twenty-one years ago)

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:08 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cottonfactory.com/graphics/preview10127.jpg
http://www.cottonfactory.com/graphics/preview10147.jpg
http://www.cottonfactory.com/graphics/preview10139.jpg
http://www.cottonfactory.com/graphics/preview10305.jpg
http://www.cottonfactory.com/graphics/preview10344.jpg

― dog latin (dog latin), Sunday, 8 February 2004 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

I have one that says "VULVA" writen in the manner of the "VOLVO" logo. I've never worn it, because when it arrived in the mail, I couldn't remember why I thought it was funny on the Internet. I think perhaps the complete non-sequitur-ness of it combined with its ability to be utterly offensive for no apparent reason.

― Skottie, Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

And the reason it ISN'T funny is of course, the complete non-sequitur-ness of it combined with its ability to be utterly offensive for no apparent reason. Coupled with the general publics general nonrecognition of the volvo logo.

― Skottie, Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:32 (twenty-one years ago)

All t-shirts sold at Urban Outfitters.

― Adm Mhel (adam michel), Sunday, 8 February 2004 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

isn't the volvo logo just "VOLVO" in block letters?

― Ian Johnson (orion), Sunday, 8 February 2004 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.volvocars.com/images/volvo_for_life_77_34.gif

At the radio station I work at, we once had an announcer say in a car dealership commercial, "Sales on all vulvas in stock!" Needless to say we had him recut it after it ran a few times.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Sunday, 8 February 2004 19:34 (twenty-one years ago)

But, actually, vulva is a funny word. Especially on a T-Shirt. Maybe I'll wear it.

ihttps://secure7.nexternal.com/tshirtstha/images/vulva.jpg

― Skottie, Tuesday, 10 February 2004 01:45 (twenty-one years ago)

ten months pass...

A couple of my friends bought me a t-shirt for my birthday which read: "Always BROKE" in the manner of the "Always Coke" logo... I'm still not sure whether or not to be offended...

― LukeRamshaw, Saturday, 1 January 2005 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I got bought a tee-shirt for xmas with "Talk nerdy to me" on it. I think it's random enough for me to wear it without causing ire - it also helps with being unfunny, so it turns into a strange non-sequiter.

― Johnney B, Saturday, 1 January 2005 17:23 (twenty-one years ago)

everything happens for a raisin HAHA

colon bowel HAHA

― m. (mitchlnw), Saturday, 1 January 2005 17:40 (twenty-one years ago)

haha johnney b i'd wear it.

― lolita corpus (lolitacorpus), Saturday, 1 January 2005 20:55 (twenty-one years ago)

http://coshops.com/stores_app/images/images_105/2019manlegendSM.jpg
http://coshops.com/stores_app/images/images_105/RL11makinbaconSM.jpg
http://coshops.com/stores_app/images/images_105/EB07voicesinpantsSM.jpg

― contribute, Saturday, 1 January 2005 21:25 (twenty-one years ago)

The WTC attack shirt above is by the same company that did the "I surfed the tsunami 2004" shirt in the that thread.

― nickn (nickn), Sunday, 2 January 2005 05:08 (twenty-one years ago)

has anyone already made a tshirt that is like those FCUK ones but actually say FUCK?

― ken c (ken c), Sunday, 2 January 2005 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.copywrite.co.nz/images/products/109_sml.jpg

― RS LaRue (rockist_scientist), Sunday, 2 January 2005 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a408/a408.gif

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Monday, 3 January 2005 00:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Called in Dead...Hahahahahahahaha!

I don't want to get caught in T-shirt hell, that sounds bad.

― Bimble..., Monday, 3 January 2005 05:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Nietschze: "God is dead"

God: "Nietschze is dead"

I originally saw this one phrased differently:

"God is Dead" -- Nietschze

"Nietschze is Dead" -- God

Not that it's really that funny, but I think it's infinitely funnier the second way. Something about the rhythm of it and "God" being the last word.

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 3 January 2005 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

But I think among the worst ever are:

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am" (Written in a blurred typeface,
of course)

and "Fear This" (an idiotically unfunny take on an in-its-own-right-idiotic shirt)

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, 3 January 2005 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

one tequila
two tequila
three tequila
floor!

― derrick (derrick), Monday, 3 January 2005 06:32 (twenty-one years ago)

One more derogatory comment about Nietzsche and you'll have to consult with Colon Bowel.

― Nietzsche fan, Monday, 3 January 2005 08:42 (twenty-one years ago)

"TOO DRUNK TO FCUK", worn by a Spanish fella sitting behind me in the pub a couple of days ago. I wasn't impressed

― DJ Mencap0))), Monday, 3 January 2005 12:30 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.urbandictionary.com/view/large/4029.jpg

― dave225 (Dave225), Monday, 3 January 2005 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

three years pass...

actually these are quite good

http://3.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/4/f/bustedtees.5d0b1994a2301b6b3fbdeaffae1542ec.gif
http://0.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/b/f/bustedtees.04dd988bb734834d3d82bfdf4d9923e1.gif
http://9.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/0/7/bustedtees.f41e3ab09c972001b2fb05f75bad324b.gif
http://9.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/c/a/bustedtees.b82cf3fc992c3ebbf5ef660a827ae7db.gif
http://8.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/2/c/bustedtees.8af2f2628536c1e14c3f277cc1588979.gif
http://6.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/4/9/bustedtees.10216db40460c4683851456958c5d179.gif

― blueski, Thursday, 10 April 2008 17:01 (seventeen years ago)

http://9.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/c/a/bustedtees.b82cf3fc992c3ebbf5ef660a827ae7db.gif
http://8.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/2/c/bustedtees.8af2f2628536c1e14c3f277cc1588979.gif
http://6.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/4/9/bustedtees.10216db40460c4683851456958c5d179.gif

― blueski, Thursday, 10 April 2008 17:02 (seventeen years ago)

The Greece one made me chuckle.

― chap, Thursday, 10 April 2008 17:03 (seventeen years ago)

This T-shirt was engineered to distract you while I stare at your tits.

― gnarly sceptre, Thursday, 10 April 2008 17:15 (seventeen years ago)

The companion piece to the canada one:

http://4.content.bustedtees.com/d1/bt/1/9/bustedtees.51ca8de1ee8cea84d4b31529005192f8.gif

― C. Grisso/McCain, Thursday, 10 April 2008 17:36 (seventeen years ago)

I have pretty much taken to wearing plain white or solid color t-shirts, unless I'm playing some sport, working out or sleeping.

― B.L.A.M., Thursday, 10 April 2008 19:39 (seventeen years ago)

i do this too except for 1 silver jews t-shirt, an O.C. t-shirt w/peter gallagher drawing on it, farrah fawcett t-shirt and t-shirt with a ski lift on it. ok maybe i dont do that.

― sunny successor, Thursday, 10 April 2008 19:43 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.choiceshirts.com/item/A2256C/

This one makes me want to play bingo!

― Ai Lien, Thursday, 10 April 2008 19:58 (seventeen years ago)

My mom-in-law, the first Christmas I had with her, gave me a shirt that said "I have the pussy so I make the rules." wtf trashy-assed embarrassing corny misandry. I never wore it, not even to bed. I gave it to the Salvation Army after about two years of hiding it in my closet, and I kind of felt bad for the employee who had to pull it out of the donation bin.

― Abbott, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:07 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.choiceshirts.com/images/A1/05/A10541A-md.jpg

― andrew m., Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:13 (seventeen years ago)

omg want

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:21 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.choiceshirts.com/images/A2/25/A2256C-md.jpg
here's the one ai lien linked to, btw. from the same place. this one frightens us, yet we want.

― andrew m., Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:24 (seventeen years ago)

at least they look a bit more purposeful than the bug eyed and zonked rasta kitties

― kenan, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:31 (seventeen years ago)

shakespeare was a poet. shirt fails!

― bug, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:39 (seventeen years ago)

kitty moccasins = i wish

― Ai Lien, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:41 (seventeen years ago)

http://johnnyr.com/images/ncp2008-02-18.gif

― Bodrick III, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:44 (seventeen years ago)

not enough gawker t-shirts on here, imo.

― omar little, Thursday, 10 April 2008 21:46 (seventeen years ago)

some dude at starbucks was wearing this today

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51aZrAJgWsL._SS400_.jpg

― Jena, Friday, 11 April 2008 23:41 (seventeen years ago)

"Everything happens for a raisin" is great.

― BigLurks, Saturday, 12 April 2008 19:57 (seventeen years ago)

this thread is missing Big Johnson

― latebloomer, Saturday, 12 April 2008 20:00 (seventeen years ago)

or at least jessica harvell's classic article on same:

http://citypaper.com/special/story.asp?id=13668

― latebloomer, Saturday, 12 April 2008 20:02 (seventeen years ago)

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This is the picture thread for hilariously unfunny t-shirts

Nietschze: "God is dead"

God: "Nietschze is dead"

She Who Dies Happiest Is She Who Dies With The Most Shoes