when you know you are old

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whatever that means

in my case it means i keep meeting people just a few years younger (i'm 26 and i meet people in their early twenties) and without fail there is something about them that strikes me as very young, very different from me, and i can't relate at all or worse

i don't remember this to be the case just recently, like a year ago or so

i always was the kind of kid who liked to talk to adults as much as kids, but now i find a really sharp division in my reaction to people a bit younger than me, and i can relate more easily to people in their late 30s and 40s

has this happened to anyone else?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha -- wait until my piece for FT (which I am writing THIS VERY SECOND) goes up and you'll get my current answer. The Pet Shop Boys are involved.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:17 (twenty-two years ago)

ha!

im starting to vaguely relate to that steely dan song "hey 19"--i mean if you take out the pervy part

like "oh my favorite movie is 'amelie'"

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i mean part of it is i have no friends, zilch, who are younger than me

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha, you're old.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:21 (twenty-two years ago)

The only person that I count as a *friend* who is younger than me is the person I'm married to.

I don't have many friends.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:26 (twenty-two years ago)

this seemed to happen to me first around 26 too, I'm 28 now and it happens constantly. I have a few friends in their early 20s, but it seems like I've always had older friends.

― teeny (teeny), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I started finding this a few years ago. I used to hang out mostly with people who were older than I was, and was always "the baby one" - maybe it's that that's made it stand out for me, as now some of my friends are a couple of years younger than I am and it's odd how large the gap seems.

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The only person that I count as a *friend* who is younger than me is the person I'm married to.

Cradle-robber.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The number of friends my own age in town is shrinking but the number of friends who are a good bit older and quite a bit younger are increasing. This probably has something to do with the fact that most people my age still in town are grad students, and I don't associate with that type much.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:42 (twenty-two years ago)

cradle-robber

By which you mean "sugar daddy", I assume.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I NEED NOT IMAGES OF YOUR NOCTURNAL ACTIVITIES.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:43 (twenty-two years ago)

i mean part of this is just my general snobbishness

but there seems to be a fundamental un-seriousness to so many people just a few years younger, like they're afraid to be really unabashedly and quietly passionate about something

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

unabashed and quiet... is that a contradiction?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"unanbashed and quietly passionate" isn't, but it sounds dirty.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think so.

xpost

― jazz odysseus, Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:48 (twenty-two years ago)

do people know what i mean by that?

― amateur!st (amateurist), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:49 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Saturday, 7 February 2004 23:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Your're 26 and you're feeling this? Wait `til you're a crotchety, cranky ol' disagreeable man of 36 like m'self.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel like a tall jockey. Like, no matter how bad i wanna do some things, it ain't gonna happen. Every timne I open Spin I see some little punkass I used to know from the record store or from college. Listening to the greatness of teenager Dizzee Rascal often depresses me too much to enjoy it.

You know what else sucks? working a shit job where they play The Strokes, Ryan Adams, etc on the store intercom. Injury, meet insult.

i'll be 26 this year. i feel middle aged! (the again, with my living habits, thats probably giving myself the benefit of the doubt...)

― roger adultery (roger adultery), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:06 (twenty-two years ago)

O you all youngsters you, why are you always in such a hurry to 'feel old'?!
*giggles toothlesssly*

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

i know exactly what you mean by that. flippancy is a defense mechanism and i don't think you really rid yourself of it until you develop a sense of self & security, which according to psychologists generally happens (i believe) around the mid-20s. but fuckit, i'm 19 and i don't really relate to anyone younger than me either, and the only things i'm passionate about are baseball and myself, one of which i hate. so no, i don't really know where i'm going w/ this, except that i've always felt really old and dead inside and stuff.

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:14 (twenty-two years ago)

When you're tired at 4:14 pm

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:15 (twenty-two years ago)

I am frequently teased about my "harem of older women." I have a considerable amount of female friends who are older than me. Some by 10 years. Some by 10+. And I'm prone to being sexually attracted to older women (not my friends, thank you). I'll know I'm old when I start trying to pick up chicks in retirement communities.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:16 (twenty-two years ago)

"Hey darlin', would you permit me to push your wheelchair to the Canasta party in the club room?"

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

teach me, gertie...

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Jeanne and Maude

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

i got a grey hair or two.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:24 (twenty-two years ago)

When your friends are having their second babies.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I've got a head ache

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:27 (twenty-two years ago)

dude rosemary

one friend of mine got married last year, that helped push this along

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:28 (twenty-two years ago)

When your friends are having their second babies.

I was hanging out with one couple today -- and their second baby is almost three now.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I still have loads of friends in their early to mid 20s, and I'm 32, so I dont know if age is an issue on that count (ie I dont exactly feel alienated - hell my partner is 21!).

But there are a few areas where I'm starting to really feel it. Music's the main one. I am constantly thinking "why the hell don't I know who any of these damn bands are anymore" or "this is a ripoff of the Pixies/JAMC/James/Simple Minds/etc etc" when I do hear new stuff. The hideous 80s fashions being seen at the moment make me laugh, they look genuinely ugly AFAIC (fuck it, they looked shit the first time around - there was plenty of 80s fashion that didnt look crap, why pick the bad stuff to revive!?)

Also theres the obvious "god I'm aging" signs - an increasing inability to keep up being a hard drinker, getting tired way too often, and startting to easily put on weight when I never ever have before. I'm actually becoming uncomfortably aware of and displeased with my appearance. It isnt really that nice.

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:32 (twenty-two years ago)

I suddenly realised a few weeks ago that my school days were actually over, that I'd never be in school again, that I wasn't a teenager anymore and I never would be again. I got to thinking about things I've never done, and never will, and it was pretty grim I must say. It's odd cos it was the first time in my life I thought of that "never again" thing.

― Ronan (Ronan), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

see i dont see this situation as bleak or even depressing

my adolescence such as it was was gone long ago

i dont lament my early 20s

i just feel different somehow

better even maybe

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:36 (twenty-two years ago)

When does adolecence end?

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:37 (twenty-two years ago)

you know, i am only 19 and *i* feel like there's something about people in their early 20s that seems very young and unlike me as well, which i certainly can't relate to. so maybe this has more to do with the freaks in their early 20s these days than the maturity of the people observing them.

on the other hand, it could be because i am prematurely 40, hate most everyone i know, and occasionally get a hopeless urge to buy a house in the country, join a bridge club, and raise cats.

― j c (j c), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:39 (twenty-two years ago)

jc are you me?

― John (jdahlem), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Whatever, I'm younger than both of you. I feel old right now only because I'm tired though.

― Aja (aja), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:42 (twenty-two years ago)

If it's any consolation: it's been widely verified among my circles that one's 30s are better than one's 20s in terms of dealing with these insecurities.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:43 (twenty-two years ago)

they arent really insecurities exactly

i was thinking about this while going on friendster the other day, and noticing that i was starting to look at profiles of people who were in their thirties and stopped checking those of people younger than me, without really thinking about it at first

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:45 (twenty-two years ago)

John - i just read your post and yes it seems entirely possible that i am you except that you're off by one on the last initial.

but we apparently agree that baseball is aces so i forgive you that

― j c (j c), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I get this a lot now that I'm back in classes with people who are 18-19ish, the gap is intimidating.
I always throught it was a combination of having only one sibling who was seven years older, always having older friends and being born at the crossover from Gen-X to Gen-Y. I identify more readily with Gen-X than Gen-Y culture, even though it's closer to my age range.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Sunday, 8 February 2004 00:56 (twenty-two years ago)

You folks are all babes in the woods... I'm 56 and have never been better! :)

― Gale, Sunday, 8 February 2004 02:56 (twenty-two years ago)

All right. Another baby boomer. Hi Gail, I'm Jim (50)
Remember those romantic nuclear fallout shelters? :)

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 8 February 2004 03:32 (twenty-two years ago)

What have I done? Sorry Gale. I think I got your name and gender mixed up.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 8 February 2004 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Pay attention, kids. This is one of those classic signs of aging happening right before your very eyes.

― jim wentworth (wench), Sunday, 8 February 2004 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

i said : i feel so old, all my friends are getting married
my sister then said : no, you feel old when your friends start having babies
then my mother said : no, you feel old when your friends start dying.

ah, i can always rely on my family to cheer me up....

― zappi (joni), Sunday, 8 February 2004 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Starting to feel old? Starting? Ha, I've never stopped feeling old! This "feeling old" business has stuck with me throughout my life the same way that peanut butter can stick to the roof of your mouth. It's just magnified triplefold over the course of the past couple of years or so. I think what was the most messed up was when I had to attend the wedding of someone who was a full year younger than I am. I mean, holy bejesus, this was not supposed to happen!! I was supposed to just start seeing people around my age, maybe a couple of years older, start getting married, not someone YOUNGER! And fuck, she's even PREGNANT now. Yes folks, the freak show never ends.

But yeah, sometimes I feel as though I'm more comfortable with people in their early - mid 30s than I am with people around my own age. But then there are those other times when I feel more comfortable with people around my own age than with people in their early - mid 30s, and that kinda messes me up. I do feel a bit off-balance when I look around places such as this and I see people who are anywhere from a couple of years younger than I am to about a decade younger than I am and note how poised and intelligent they come across. Ah yes, you 19-year-olds, I could've babysat you, darn it.

(p.s.: You are ALL my grandchildren. Come to Grandma.)

― Mellow Dee (Dee the Lurker), Sunday, 8 February 2004 06:34 (twenty-two years ago)

whre i work we have "youth" radio. they are all private school 20 somethings who know ZILCH but have smug attitude and, y'know, dreads and shit.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I have several friends who've already been married and divorced - at least one more than once I think. My immediate circle doesnt seem to be much for the having of the sprog, but there's a few who do. Both my younger brothers are married, well on the way to paying off homes and one has two kids. THAT makes me feel not old so much, but a bit crap actually :/

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:20 (twenty-two years ago)

(not that I wanna be married, but it'd be nice if I could actually have my shit together enough to consider buying some kind of property soon! To be in my 30s and NOWHERE near that kind of goal is a bit depressing)

― Trayce (trayce), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I was pondering that option once, Trayce, but the need to settle debt was more pressing and in this housing market around here, it ain't gonna happen anytime soon for me. That said...I dunno, I suppose buying property is definitely always one of those good ideas in general and yet I just don't feel a particular need or necessity beyond it being a 'good idea in general.' In many respects I feel it's actually much more freeing NOT to have a certain commitment.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:23 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah. feeling old = having commitments to your future.

when i was "young" i never thought of it. i still try not to.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:37 (twenty-two years ago)

peter pan syndrome.

― mullygrubber (gaz), Sunday, 8 February 2004 07:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I've just turned 26, last week. Was at the pub a couple of weeks ago with some friends (mostly my age or younger), and someone else who I didn't really know who's only 18. She wasn't enjoying herself, because: "old people's conversations are so boring!"

― caitlin (caitlin), Sunday, 8 February 2004 12:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Young people don't even have conversations.

― Silly Sailor (Andrew Thames), Sunday, 8 February 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I feel out of step with everyone, no matter their age.

― Melissa W (Melissa W), Sunday, 8 February 2004 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah i feel that way often too, but the problem seems particular acute with younger 20somethings, i guess the similarity in age makes the disparity in sensibility seem that much greater

― amateur!st (amateurist), Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

When you can't think of anything cheeful and wise to say on a "when you know you're old" thread so you just clam up rather than bum out the kids.

― Arthur (Arthur), Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Definitely the gray pubic hair.

― Skottie, Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, that too.

― Arthur (Arthur), Sunday, 8 February 2004 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Hi Jim :)
Yes I do remember the bombshelters, although I have never seen one. I am a woman. lol
.
You know your getting old when you have a son who recently turned 38! My Lord how time flies! My youngest daughter is 32! Yipes! I am getting old. lol

― Gale, Sunday, 8 February 2004 17:03 (twenty-two years ago)

When you hear about other people of your same age groups fun, and think "that really doesn't sound like fun", but this has been my entire life story.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 8 February 2004 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I regularly deliberately act in the most immature manner possible in order to stave off this sad affliction. It works pretty well. Last night at a dinner party I had a "who can keep their mouth open longest with a spoonful of cointrau chocolate mousse on their tongue" competition with some girl I'd never met before. Most entertaining. She won. It burnt my mouth to fuck. Lotta booze in that mousse.

― Sick Nouthall (Nick Southall), Sunday, 8 February 2004 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm 26. I still do much the same things I have since I was eighteen. The only difference is I pay into a savings account now...

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 8 February 2004 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Why did fucking burn your mouth, Nick?

Total and unequivocal proof that I'm old happens when someone says the terrible words "shall we go on to a club?". Sigh.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 9 February 2004 00:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't relate very well to people of any age.

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Monday, 9 February 2004 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't think of anything "cheeful" to say? Well, any appearance by Gale is bound to make me feel a little more cheeful. Hi, Gale!

― Arthur (Arthur), Monday, 9 February 2004 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

― cozen (Cozen), Monday, 9 February 2004 03:38 (twenty-two years ago)

I cannot handle liquor at all anymore. I spent all of today vomiting due to last night's boozing. This makes me feel old and crotchety.

― Spoony, Monday, 9 February 2004 04:27 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno, vomiting always puts me in a jolly mood

― amateur!st (amateurist), Monday, 9 February 2004 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I know I'm old because I complain and get bothered by things which I'd previously only thought old ppl complained about (and I couldn't understand why on earth they were complaining).

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 9 February 2004 08:39 (twenty-two years ago)

like draughts! Not the game, the cold breeze through an open door! When I was younger older ppl would say to me "Shut the door, there's a draught!" And I'd be "Like, wtf?" But now I get bothered by them! And have to get up to shut the door before I feel comfortable.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 9 February 2004 08:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I am currently imaging MarkH saying "like, wtf?" and chuckling to myself quite a lot.

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 9 February 2004 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

you wouldn't have to imagine if you worked here in my office, Markelby.

also, sitting comfortably cross-legged. I used to laugh at older ppl being unable to do this. I'm not laughing now.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick went to a dinner party = he is OLDEN.

As for me:

Death ain’t nothing but a heartbeat away
I'm living life do or die, what can I say
I'm 23 now but will I live to see 24
The way things is going I don't know

So, yes. I have colleagues in the shady world of writing about movies who are in their late thirties, but increasingly my own friends are seeming older -- meaner, more 'focussed,' sometimes more boring really. I'd include myself in some of this -- I haven't wanted to go to a club in ages, and when I have it's sucked. But I'm not yet bothered about marriages, house purchases, etc.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Opting to stay in over going out.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, not necessarily -- you can do that when you're 17 after all. Just when it's a habit. On the other hand, i can't afford to go out much, it isn't really an age thing.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

oh Pink, that actually makes me feel a lot better, coz by that definition I'm getting younger.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:22 (twenty-two years ago)

No I am not talking about staying in cos you've got no cash or you'd rather stay at home & smoke yourself into oblivion, I am saying that you have the choice & you CHOOSE to stay in, because it's such an effort to go out & it's be really busy etc etc. (i;d like to point out that this is me some of the time, but certainly not all of the time!)

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, for me the reasons coincide:

1) misanthrope
2) skint
3) bars here full of posers (right Mark?)
4) frendz all live in London
5) DVDs!
6) not big on clubbing

so it's sort of a choice.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

OK, well for some ppl it can be a sign of getting older, but definitely NOT for Enrique!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

no 3 on Enrique's list - stay out of Baby and Copa and you'll be fine.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:37 (twenty-two years ago)

It's all about my Raoul's discount. Is Copa on George St? George St being badasssss is anutha reason to stay home.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, the Grapes is an OK pub when not full of student drama asshats. But apart from that, destroy, DESTROY.

― Liz :x (Liz :x), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Copa is indeed on George Street. It is where Wig and Pen used to be. £3.50 for a half of Leffe. Ouch.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean badasss as in tuff -- I always get hassled on George St. Ver Grapes is okay, but yeah, otherwise George St is for shit.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

my symptoms

1) i no longer always know what the number one single sounds like before it's been released

2) i cynically scoff at what 16 year olds are into

3) i am thinking about buying a Brita water filter

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

You sound like a well-off student to me! I have a FINANCIAL GOAL for this year. I think a part of my soul has died.

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

That's lame and no mistakin'. I dunno where my money's coming from after the end of the month -- THAT'S punk rock.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

no it isn't.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Daddy's allowance ;)

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio -- yes it is, thanxx. AND I get hit with a tax bill I won't be able to cover. Too punk rock for this thread.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:33 (twenty-two years ago)

"punk rock"

― chris (chris), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

irony irony they've all got it irony.

― Enrique (Enrique), Monday, 9 February 2004 13:36 (twenty-two years ago)

eight months pass...

found out on Friday that i'm older than Homer Simpson...

― koogs (koogs), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:11 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh dear!

― PinXorchiXoR (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:14 (twenty-one years ago)

surely not, he was complaining about turning 39 (or thereabouts) in one episode a few years back, which i would say is ridiculous but that's a given considering he looked well into his 40s from the first series alone.

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

Apparently he is 36.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

and Maggie is 15

― Freelance Hiveminder (blueski), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

ALMOST LEGAL OMG

― Markelby (Mark C), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Just me then.

Does the fact that this thread sounds like a Denis Norden epilogue mean thay I am definitely old?

― mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 8 November 2004 14:51 (twenty-one years ago)

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